Melody of my Life..

handicapped =\

after ytd's HHIG i'm like a total handicapped today =\ body aching everywhere sia =\ OMG OMG.. =( damn nua today sia =\ in lesson totally catch no ball =( nvm la.. forget it.. i sure fail one hais sian.. anyway today's last day of sch thn term break liao YAY!

but this also means that my life gonna be bored liao sian -_- well todya in sch i went over al the photos i had in my lappie thn hor.. hais got a lil emo la.. thot of them =( hais.. if onli things never have to happen that way.. if onli i can lay down my pride.. if only.. =( missin them like mad =(

ok after sch went to party world.. sang like mad.. everythin was well ba.. i guess =\ hais i dunno wat the heck is in my mind la.. making me goin mad reallllllll soon =\ NO NO NO stop thinking about no nid de things!!! argh! i shud juz take things as they come.. and DO NOT TOUCH the thing call LOVE again =\ at least for now ba..

hais.. feeling damn shitty.. kana moodswing.. sians.. got very emo in train juz now.. cos was listening to SHE's xing xing zhi huo.. and the memories.. =\ juz flash like mad.. remember those days we practise at her house for the lil comp which ended up we didnt join lol.. those were the days.. all gone now.. and never gonna come back.. =(

as i was goin thru the photos, i felt that i had everything in the past.. happy memories.. with them.. with the VIPs.. with each and everyone of the ppl in UAN the avalon.. stellarnine.. =( omg.. i keep seeing the scene whereby me keep running up and down the stairs at avalon at the mezzanine one.. =( those busy days with VIP running the dance incubation =(

seeing those days where we wil msn at nite.. (the C.girls) laming and crapping.. sometimes even trying to keep each other's time dun let them go slp.. cos i was schooless and jobless so i slept at 6 or 7am usually.. hais.. those were the days =( i miss everything now.. i feel that i can never bring those smiles on my face in those photos back again =( it's like.. ya the life i'm leading now is wat i dream of..

being a poly student.. having my own good dance crew.. join a sch dance club.. learn breaking.. ktv chill outs.. mivies.. blah blah.. but i dun feel the real happiness at all =( if onli these things happened to me when they were stil with me.. i tink i thn can truly smile.. it's like.. w/o them.. it's no point la.. =\ i noe i shud live for myself.. but thn again.. i cant help but keep thinkin those things.. =\ those hurtful words were said and received..

it's onli been like a month +.. but it feels as if i'm in a lost land for like YEARS =\ i have frens stil.. i have dance stil i even have school now.. but why?! why dun i feel happy?? =( seeing those ppl ard me now being so cheerful, so happy, funny and lame.. reminds me of the times i had with them.. =( i too wish i can be like the me in the past.. i too wish i have everything back =(

knowing some of them aint doin very well now makes me feel sad.. =\ i wish i can juz pop a msg to them to cheer and encourage them like in the past how we help one another.. but i cant.. =\ i reali cant.. i can onli do things in the dark.. being a "passerby" in their lifes.. juz watch from aside.. hoping some other passerbys will help them.. this is shitty i can say.. well.. it's al myself to blame.. =(


i'm missin u girls ALOT! MAD i shud say.. if onli time can be turn back.. i wil turn it back.. and if onli i have the choice to remove my pride i wil remove al of it at that point of time juz for u.. each and every single one of u means alot to me.. still.. =(

precious stars that shines with royal leaves which nv dies..