woots.. kinda tired physically after dance pract with VIP at esply.. didnt do much thou =X mr vic was rather emo wor.. hmm reminds me of myself ytd lol =X but i felt real good today =) it's like the day after a heavy storm la =X haha~ like so fresh now ^^ was listening to non emo songs whole day haha~ once i hear emo songs i skip track lalala~ lol!
indeed wat my jiemei nikz say is rite ar.. do something about it la! emo also no use.. haha~ yeap yeap true true.. but jiemei, u noe when one's reallllll emo, nothin gets into the head at that point of time? =X so muz when the dark clouds clear.. haha~ thn everythin reflects le =) have been planning how to use my pay *yay* it's coming!!! wahaha~ but hor i realise it's like 200 over nia -.-
haolian simi sai?!?! rahh~ aiyo 2 weeks nia lei.. mai hiam liao la~ hehe~ and the most suay thing is that i receive my bill liao =((( 90bucks lei sian dabian! @!#$%^& so half my pay wil be eaten by that and left 100? hurhur~ thn confirm club, 50 gone.. =( thn left 50?!?!! how?!?! omg~ buy a pair of jeans and POOF no more =(.. i'm gonna be dry for another month.. hurhurhurhurhur~~
nvm! perk myself up and bia for another month to get my 400 or 500! HUR! dun care! GAMBATE!!!!! XD and next month i'm gonna get my dance gear, my new shoe.. and hopefully a new phone for mummy =( i see her so kelian.. the phone wil out of tune one =( thou it's cute at times ar =X but very kelian la.. so wil try to get a new phone for her.. maybe wil kup with her bf :D
anyway was talking to vic abit trying to cheer him up =) and at the same time reflecting on wat happen to me ytd and before.. i used to be a super emo type of person, i used to not take care of my body at all, i used to juz dance bochup my leg brekaing or my hand tearing apart.. and i realise it's al these lil lil mistakes of mine that is bringing me down =
emo, see la! emo somemore and i lost a mr perfect =( most of u noe who i'm talking about yea? haha~ emo made me wash my face with tears for dunno how many nites in my entire life.. waste my time ar! but somehow being emo is stil my freelance job lol =X ok nvm LAME~
didnt take care, ya la! bitch sia me~ my stupid back injury keeps coming on and off and it seriously affects my dance.. cant split cant even walk properly at times =( and now my knee, my ankle.. CUI LIAO! hurhurhurhur~~~ super sad sia~ =( and when i bochup juz dance, i sometimes dun even noe i do correct thing ornt.. now my body so damn used to the "wrong" way of dancing, it's damn hard for me to get back the "right" way of dancing =(
ok i wont get emo al over again =X
anyway i was so happy i'm in lush.. =) today they got pract also ma.. thn they were asking me "why u nv join monkey business?!" i say i dunno la.. of cos with a sad face =\ thn mell they al say "nvm.. after that ok?" haha al my emo was over nothing thou =) i'm not forsaken! whee~ so happy la.. it's al the lil things that matters to me =) thank god i have such wonderful crew and frens.. VIP's my darlings too for sure ^^ working hard tgt, laugh and tear tgt.. so happy ^^ and also I MISS EMI!!! wah see her today so happy haha~ hopefully can dance tgt again ba.. waiting for that day to come still =) ok i'm off.. buai buai~ keep smiling wor ^^
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
gettin rather emo now =\ over alot of stuff actually.. firstly.. i read my dearest eqa's blog.. and i seriously think it's damn sad for such a stupid accident to happen =( but thn again.. saw a few of her pics recently.. i tink actually she's lucky enuff.. cos her pretty face isnt much much affected.. she's so pretty la.. =) and when i saw her blog she said that her bf (i tink) sms her this "walk with pride.. you'll always be a eye candy in my eyes" i teared.. =X
i mean it's so touching!!! and ya i gotta agree.. we humans must walk with pride.. no matter wat happen, no matter how ugly we're (i dun tink anyone's ugly in anyway).. juz had supper with jie, he said i super no confidence and keep asking me to have more confidence.. haha.. oh well.. guess when u're lousy in almost everythin, u wont have any confidence to move on in life ba.. and also after ur pride has been trampled on umpteen of times.. how to have confidence?
thn felt emo over another thing as well.. regarding my dance ba.. wont say too much thou.. but it all boils down to me myself not being good enuff.. =( how to improve? hai.. i wish i'm a born dancer.. =( i wish my family supports me in dance.. i wish i'm better.. or at least as good as them..
am i even fit to be in lush?
=(
when during supper, chatted with jie alot haha.. chat about many things ar.. ex la, love la, family, frens.. blahh~ he ask me "thn u dun wan look for bf now meh?" haha gd question thou.. oh well.. my reply is "no" cos i told him.. i'm tired le ba.. and wat's more, i dun even seem to understand myself anymore now.. my wall is up and tough.. it blocks love from goin out and love from coming in as well wor.. how to love? haha.. i also dunno anymore.. i cant seem to feel..
i'm slowly dun understand myself anymore.. haha.. why am i the way i am now? haha.. i have no idea.. wat is love to me? wat is frens to me? wat is this life i'm leading? wat do i exactly wan? so wat if i grad from poly 2years later? wat job am i gonna get? how about my dream to go japan? i dun seem to be doin anything about them.. hai.. life's in a big mess wor..
the 5 C i wish for..
confidence.. (to perform watever that's given to me at my best state)
chance.. (to be expose to the industry, world and to prove my work)
courage.. (to live my life proudly)
cash.. (to improve myself as a dancer, person and as a girl)
companion.. (to help me along whenever i'm down)
i mean it's so touching!!! and ya i gotta agree.. we humans must walk with pride.. no matter wat happen, no matter how ugly we're (i dun tink anyone's ugly in anyway).. juz had supper with jie, he said i super no confidence and keep asking me to have more confidence.. haha.. oh well.. guess when u're lousy in almost everythin, u wont have any confidence to move on in life ba.. and also after ur pride has been trampled on umpteen of times.. how to have confidence?
thn felt emo over another thing as well.. regarding my dance ba.. wont say too much thou.. but it all boils down to me myself not being good enuff.. =( how to improve? hai.. i wish i'm a born dancer.. =( i wish my family supports me in dance.. i wish i'm better.. or at least as good as them..
am i even fit to be in lush?
=(
when during supper, chatted with jie alot haha.. chat about many things ar.. ex la, love la, family, frens.. blahh~ he ask me "thn u dun wan look for bf now meh?" haha gd question thou.. oh well.. my reply is "no" cos i told him.. i'm tired le ba.. and wat's more, i dun even seem to understand myself anymore now.. my wall is up and tough.. it blocks love from goin out and love from coming in as well wor.. how to love? haha.. i also dunno anymore.. i cant seem to feel..
i'm slowly dun understand myself anymore.. haha.. why am i the way i am now? haha.. i have no idea.. wat is love to me? wat is frens to me? wat is this life i'm leading? wat do i exactly wan? so wat if i grad from poly 2years later? wat job am i gonna get? how about my dream to go japan? i dun seem to be doin anything about them.. hai.. life's in a big mess wor..
the 5 C i wish for..
confidence.. (to perform watever that's given to me at my best state)
chance.. (to be expose to the industry, world and to prove my work)
courage.. (to live my life proudly)
cash.. (to improve myself as a dancer, person and as a girl)
companion.. (to help me along whenever i'm down)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
haven been online alot recently.. haven been contacting few of my close frens recently.. due to many things.. have to work.. have to go sch.. and of cos.. i wan a break from everythin =\ the pass 2weeks or so were terrible for me.. been washin my face with tears.. had enuff of it.. went for club rather alot too.. life's in a big mess.. but somehow somewhat.. this period of rest for me is great.. emerge myself in work.. emerge myself with everythin i'm doin now.. is the best way for me to get off.. sometimes we have to be cold blooded to certain ppl and even to ourselves.. go thru this period of sufferring and we'll be fine soon.. Fish leong de song fen shou kuai le.. confirm al of u heard before.. there's a sentence that mean "bid goodbye to the wrong one thn can unite with the right one.." ya true.. thou it's a period of emptiness now.. but have to let go since we never could agree.. ok i'm off.. bye
Friday, November 24, 2006
yawns~
today didnt go sch =X lalala~ shit la.. i promise ong chin huat i'll go de siak =\ mati liao.. ok anyway, went to VIP's practise.. but before that, was mixing abit of songs at home.. wanted to wake up at 2pm, watch a few nice nice episode of bleach and goong.. end up -.- have to mix song.. RAHHS~ ok nvm.. worst is!!! I CANT MIX!!! X( it's like shit la! dabian u noe?! DABIAN!!! X(
i listen le i wan to faint sia! =( how how how?!?! die le la.. end up have to go to fareast to sign the contract with the organiser for countdown.. wtf rite?! still need contract -.- scared we run away ar.. lol! so anyway, the ppl are confirm le.. VIP wil be me, shir, jyun, ash and fei dancing.. =D and today we learn abit of the song passion, and ran thru the old steps le =) was initialy quite fed up =
it's like when learning passion, i felt so damn left out =( no one teach me! =( reali is i ask also no one answer that kind lo.. damn sad la.. thn wat's the point of me goin sia =\ i jiatao dun wan learn liao.. sit down slack.. hai.. but after awhile ok le la.. moodswing i guess.. recently my moodswing waas quite bad.. and i'm very easily irritated and easily angered lei.. how come siak =\ scary.. even when i work, i also super entertain that kind =\ sometimes even wil give black face or stone there =\ hurr~
ok nvm... after that, wahh~ alot of suay thing happen.. initialy was suppose to meet sii go MOS.. end up she always nv pick up my call and super late reply my sms.. i was damn angry in the first place.. cos it's like.. she went in.. i thot we're suppose to go in tgt.. =\ and til like 10.30 thn she ask me "where r u" -.- and the invite can onli enter before 11.. HELLO~ who wont angry upon hearing ur fren went in first when u guys are suppose to go tgt??
ok nvm.. after that i didnt wan to go le.. cos super no mood liao =\ thn ash got her fren to sign me in =) ok la.. stil abit sian sian.. but thn juz go lo.. was ok la.. was very boring in the first place.. the music SUCKS la!!! X( thn me, ash and her frens were super slack lol~ dance abit, slack, dance abit, slack.. haha! alot of despo guys sia =
got this guy damn funny, he wanted to dance with me.. so when i was dancing facing the inner side of the circle we created, he stood behind me trying to hold my waist.. =\ i thn like stare at him abit abit, hint him to "GO AWAY!" but he stil stay *nabeis* thn i jitao stand there dun wan to move.. thn he stil continue!!! *fucking nabeis* thn i damn pissed, i turn and stare at him directly in his face lol!!!! thn he siam.. ma de! dunno how to zi dong one siak @#$%^&*
thn.. saw vic and he dance with sii.. lol.. thn wah lol! when i was at the side, got a guy came.. standing SUPER politely, like when a waiter serving u, hands both put infront, with a WIDE smile.. saying "wo ke yi gen ni tiao wu ma?" (can i dance with u?) wah i jitao dunno how to react and reali feel like laughing like siao =X like super noob la! lol!!! =X and he reali super polite lol!!!! thn i was like "shit la! how how how!??!?!?!" lol! but no one ard to help me so i say "orh" lol!
but hor!!! funny thing is..... we onli dance less thn 1minute lol!!!! and we were standing not close AT ALL.. thn vic pulled me away le lol!!! *thank god he saved me* lol!!! so we al dance in group =) thn juz dance le lo lol! after awhile saw BFC.. thn they open circle lol! thn i stand at the side watch ma.. quite far away la.. thn hor!!!!!! wah buay tahan!
got this guy, cam eup to me say "my fren have been lookin for u the whole nite.. he thinks you're reali cute.. can you dance with him just once?" WTF?!?!?!? lol! my reaction was, i turn to sii wanted to ask her.. cos i THOT the guy is referring to her lol! that's the usual case ma.. no meh? lol!! thn before i reach si, i tink again.. so i ask the guy repeat wat he say lol =X thn he say again thn i "HUH?!" lol =X thn he say they have been following me =X thn he even show where i stood, where i walk to blahh blahh blahh! wah jitao SCARY!!!!! =\ i was STALKED at MOS! lol
damn funny.. how come guys al weird weird one.. today, kana one despo, one super polite lil boy, and a group of stalker!! wtf?! but luckily nothing happen la.. HENG ar! thanks to mr vic for helping haha =D and also kim and his frens abit help help also if see something wrong.. =) last part of the day at MOS was good =) too happening to be not good liao lol! so many weird thing somemore all happen tgt one!! lol! i siam one, the other come -.- faint..
i guess i wont be goin to sch later lol =X tired la! somemore math =\ GONE~ somemore got work at nite =\ hurrr.. dying le la.. dreadful life =( anyway gotta treat myself nicer haha =) gonna love myself more more more! pamper! i'm a girl after all.. =) been hanging out with guys too much off my life =\ in pri sch was joey and gang, sec sch was the 7 bro, and now in poly the funny bboys in my sch -.- jiuming.. how can i be known as a girl liddat?!?!? raahhhh! if any guys are reading.. please note that miss iko is a GIRL!!! =( treat me more like a girl pls =( i may be very chor lor.. but i got my gentle points one ok =( i'll be grateful if u juz treat me more like a girl.. :D
ok gotta go rest soon le.. tired ar~~~ anyway mr maroon say he saw me at MOS.. but never call me cos he scared i dun recognise him -.- lol! cute la~ ok reali gtg.. nitey~ *hugs* ZzZzZzZzzzz..
i aint wanna be super hot..
i aint wanna be super cute..
i aint wanna be super pretty..
i juz wanna be a cheerful me with a lil bit of everything..
just me..
today didnt go sch =X lalala~ shit la.. i promise ong chin huat i'll go de siak =\ mati liao.. ok anyway, went to VIP's practise.. but before that, was mixing abit of songs at home.. wanted to wake up at 2pm, watch a few nice nice episode of bleach and goong.. end up -.- have to mix song.. RAHHS~ ok nvm.. worst is!!! I CANT MIX!!! X( it's like shit la! dabian u noe?! DABIAN!!! X(
i listen le i wan to faint sia! =( how how how?!?! die le la.. end up have to go to fareast to sign the contract with the organiser for countdown.. wtf rite?! still need contract -.- scared we run away ar.. lol! so anyway, the ppl are confirm le.. VIP wil be me, shir, jyun, ash and fei dancing.. =D and today we learn abit of the song passion, and ran thru the old steps le =) was initialy quite fed up =
it's like when learning passion, i felt so damn left out =( no one teach me! =( reali is i ask also no one answer that kind lo.. damn sad la.. thn wat's the point of me goin sia =\ i jiatao dun wan learn liao.. sit down slack.. hai.. but after awhile ok le la.. moodswing i guess.. recently my moodswing waas quite bad.. and i'm very easily irritated and easily angered lei.. how come siak =\ scary.. even when i work, i also super entertain that kind =\ sometimes even wil give black face or stone there =\ hurr~
ok nvm... after that, wahh~ alot of suay thing happen.. initialy was suppose to meet sii go MOS.. end up she always nv pick up my call and super late reply my sms.. i was damn angry in the first place.. cos it's like.. she went in.. i thot we're suppose to go in tgt.. =\ and til like 10.30 thn she ask me "where r u" -.- and the invite can onli enter before 11.. HELLO~ who wont angry upon hearing ur fren went in first when u guys are suppose to go tgt??
ok nvm.. after that i didnt wan to go le.. cos super no mood liao =\ thn ash got her fren to sign me in =) ok la.. stil abit sian sian.. but thn juz go lo.. was ok la.. was very boring in the first place.. the music SUCKS la!!! X( thn me, ash and her frens were super slack lol~ dance abit, slack, dance abit, slack.. haha! alot of despo guys sia =
got this guy damn funny, he wanted to dance with me.. so when i was dancing facing the inner side of the circle we created, he stood behind me trying to hold my waist.. =\ i thn like stare at him abit abit, hint him to "GO AWAY!" but he stil stay *nabeis* thn i jitao stand there dun wan to move.. thn he stil continue!!! *fucking nabeis* thn i damn pissed, i turn and stare at him directly in his face lol!!!! thn he siam.. ma de! dunno how to zi dong one siak @#$%^&*
thn.. saw vic and he dance with sii.. lol.. thn wah lol! when i was at the side, got a guy came.. standing SUPER politely, like when a waiter serving u, hands both put infront, with a WIDE smile.. saying "wo ke yi gen ni tiao wu ma?" (can i dance with u?) wah i jitao dunno how to react and reali feel like laughing like siao =X like super noob la! lol!!! =X and he reali super polite lol!!!! thn i was like "shit la! how how how!??!?!?!" lol! but no one ard to help me so i say "orh" lol!
but hor!!! funny thing is..... we onli dance less thn 1minute lol!!!! and we were standing not close AT ALL.. thn vic pulled me away le lol!!! *thank god he saved me* lol!!! so we al dance in group =) thn juz dance le lo lol! after awhile saw BFC.. thn they open circle lol! thn i stand at the side watch ma.. quite far away la.. thn hor!!!!!! wah buay tahan!
got this guy, cam eup to me say "my fren have been lookin for u the whole nite.. he thinks you're reali cute.. can you dance with him just once?" WTF?!?!?!? lol! my reaction was, i turn to sii wanted to ask her.. cos i THOT the guy is referring to her lol! that's the usual case ma.. no meh? lol!! thn before i reach si, i tink again.. so i ask the guy repeat wat he say lol =X thn he say again thn i "HUH?!" lol =X thn he say they have been following me =X thn he even show where i stood, where i walk to blahh blahh blahh! wah jitao SCARY!!!!! =\ i was STALKED at MOS! lol
damn funny.. how come guys al weird weird one.. today, kana one despo, one super polite lil boy, and a group of stalker!! wtf?! but luckily nothing happen la.. HENG ar! thanks to mr vic for helping haha =D and also kim and his frens abit help help also if see something wrong.. =) last part of the day at MOS was good =) too happening to be not good liao lol! so many weird thing somemore all happen tgt one!! lol! i siam one, the other come -.- faint..
i guess i wont be goin to sch later lol =X tired la! somemore math =\ GONE~ somemore got work at nite =\ hurrr.. dying le la.. dreadful life =( anyway gotta treat myself nicer haha =) gonna love myself more more more! pamper! i'm a girl after all.. =) been hanging out with guys too much off my life =\ in pri sch was joey and gang, sec sch was the 7 bro, and now in poly the funny bboys in my sch -.- jiuming.. how can i be known as a girl liddat?!?!? raahhhh! if any guys are reading.. please note that miss iko is a GIRL!!! =( treat me more like a girl pls =( i may be very chor lor.. but i got my gentle points one ok =( i'll be grateful if u juz treat me more like a girl.. :D
ok gotta go rest soon le.. tired ar~~~ anyway mr maroon say he saw me at MOS.. but never call me cos he scared i dun recognise him -.- lol! cute la~ ok reali gtg.. nitey~ *hugs* ZzZzZzZzzzz..
i aint wanna be super hot..
i aint wanna be super cute..
i aint wanna be super pretty..
i juz wanna be a cheerful me with a lil bit of everything..
just me..
Thursday, November 23, 2006
damn super tired @_@ juz came home from work =\ but it seems that i'm kinda enjoying my workt here ehh lol! today seems to pass faster thn 2 days ago.. and of cos i seems more "blend in" le haha! =) ppl there are nice la.. and woohoo~ can bring hp along when we work sia lol! didnt noe til today -.- but cannot openly use la..
finally got a few ppl can talk to one le =) got xiao jie, penny, and this guy i dunno his name =X he's a cook la.. so we dun get to talk muxh but juz now he go "eat snake" at sake bar lol! he dirnk sia! free!!! FREE!!! X( why liddat one! lol! there reali abit overly good le lei =\ pay so high.. so slack.. thou work there like work in palace la -.-
reali sia.. imagine have to kneel down to serve in 2 rooms.. thn must walk small steps, wear the uniform like palace maids -.- and say al the jap jap thing -.- but fun la.. new life haha! =) and finally after 3 days of work, i got my punch card -.- like FINALLY!! lol! ok i'm damn tired now.. gonna watch 1 or 2 ep of bleach thn settle some dance stuff thn KO! tml got school! whee~ ok i'm gonna be good and go to sch everyday *i try* =X
finally got a few ppl can talk to one le =) got xiao jie, penny, and this guy i dunno his name =X he's a cook la.. so we dun get to talk muxh but juz now he go "eat snake" at sake bar lol! he dirnk sia! free!!! FREE!!! X( why liddat one! lol! there reali abit overly good le lei =\ pay so high.. so slack.. thou work there like work in palace la -.-
reali sia.. imagine have to kneel down to serve in 2 rooms.. thn must walk small steps, wear the uniform like palace maids -.- and say al the jap jap thing -.- but fun la.. new life haha! =) and finally after 3 days of work, i got my punch card -.- like FINALLY!! lol! ok i'm damn tired now.. gonna watch 1 or 2 ep of bleach thn settle some dance stuff thn KO! tml got school! whee~ ok i'm gonna be good and go to sch everyday *i try* =X
damn super tired @_@ juz came home from work =\ but it seems that i'm kinda enjoying my workt here ehh lol! today seems to pass faster thn 2 days ago.. and of cos i seems more "blend in" le haha! =) ppl there are nice la.. and woohoo~ can bring hp along when we work sia lol! didnt noe til today -.- but cannot openly use la..
finally got a few ppl can talk to one le =) got xiao jie, penny, and this guy i dunno his name =X he's a cook la.. so we dun get to talk muxh but juz now he go "eat snake" at sake bar lol! he dirnk sia! free!!! FREE!!! X( why liddat one! lol! there reali abit overly good le lei =\ pay so high.. so slack.. thou work there like work in palace la -.-
reali sia.. imagine have to kneel down to serve in 2 rooms.. thn must walk small steps, wear the uniform like palace maids -.- and say al the jap jap thing -.- but fun la.. new life haha! =) and finally after 3 days of work, i got my punch card -.- like FINALLY!! lol! ok i'm damn tired now.. gonna watch 1 or 2 ep of bleach thn settle some dance stuff thn KO! tml got school! whee~ ok i'm gonna be good and go to sch everyday *i try* =X
finally got a few ppl can talk to one le =) got xiao jie, penny, and this guy i dunno his name =X he's a cook la.. so we dun get to talk muxh but juz now he go "eat snake" at sake bar lol! he dirnk sia! free!!! FREE!!! X( why liddat one! lol! there reali abit overly good le lei =\ pay so high.. so slack.. thou work there like work in palace la -.-
reali sia.. imagine have to kneel down to serve in 2 rooms.. thn must walk small steps, wear the uniform like palace maids -.- and say al the jap jap thing -.- but fun la.. new life haha! =) and finally after 3 days of work, i got my punch card -.- like FINALLY!! lol! ok i'm damn tired now.. gonna watch 1 or 2 ep of bleach thn settle some dance stuff thn KO! tml got school! whee~ ok i'm gonna be good and go to sch everyday *i try* =X
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
ah lalala~ so bored now in class -.- anyway had a nice nice gd rest ytd lol~ more of like coma =X i was watchin bleach.. half way i'm sooo tired and my eyelids are so heavy that i walk to my bed and KO =D lol! mummy say i look like walking zobie -.- and while sleeping she keep disturbing me lol! ok for those who dunno, we sleep tgt =D sweet hor?? hehehee~
thn i woke up at 5am -.- go toilet pee thn back to slp again lol! at first i thot i was late for sch.. thn i see the clock was like 5 onli -.- so i slp back haha.. and when i woke up at 7 .30 for sch, i felt SUPER ^^ like reali super recharged la lol!!! i promise i'll try my best not to skip sch le.n now's the time for me to buck up on my studies and earn money as well.. thou the job is hard for me to adapt to but thn no choice la $$$$$
i'm stil trying to fix my blog html -.- bear with me awhile k.. hehe.. i juz love this layout but the code got prob la =( stupid html! X( anyway later gotta work siansssssss.. after sch, go home change.. thn off to work.. i MUST get my concession man.. before i die =\ yeap yeap.. wil be back home at bout 11 ba.. thurs mos? i dunno sia =\ JY ask me sat.. sii ask me thurs.. wtf?! =\ of cos i wil go with sii la =X but thurs lei.. fri my mathhhhhhhh it's a dreaddddddddddd.. X(
oh well.. shall see ba.. tertiary fling on thurs.. shud be quite fun ba.. juz dun get al the underage lil kids there can liao.. waste space waste time.. sians.. go 3rd meeting le.. buaizz..
thn i woke up at 5am -.- go toilet pee thn back to slp again lol! at first i thot i was late for sch.. thn i see the clock was like 5 onli -.- so i slp back haha.. and when i woke up at 7 .30 for sch, i felt SUPER ^^ like reali super recharged la lol!!! i promise i'll try my best not to skip sch le.n now's the time for me to buck up on my studies and earn money as well.. thou the job is hard for me to adapt to but thn no choice la $$$$$
i'm stil trying to fix my blog html -.- bear with me awhile k.. hehe.. i juz love this layout but the code got prob la =( stupid html! X( anyway later gotta work siansssssss.. after sch, go home change.. thn off to work.. i MUST get my concession man.. before i die =\ yeap yeap.. wil be back home at bout 11 ba.. thurs mos? i dunno sia =\ JY ask me sat.. sii ask me thurs.. wtf?! =\ of cos i wil go with sii la =X but thurs lei.. fri my mathhhhhhhh it's a dreaddddddddddd.. X(
oh well.. shall see ba.. tertiary fling on thurs.. shud be quite fun ba.. juz dun get al the underage lil kids there can liao.. waste space waste time.. sians.. go 3rd meeting le.. buaizz..
Monday, November 20, 2006
Just got a new skin cos my old skin seems to have a prob =\ ppl using internet explorer as browser cant view dunno why also =\ but it works on firefox.. ok nvm.. so i change it.. but i stil love my old skin =( ok nvm =X wish to have abit of mysterious, elegant feeling.. so i dunno whether it works ornt.. but to me it does la lol~ put the rose in the middle as it symbolises my name.. my WEI ar.. if those who noe.. those who dunno thn u'll noe now =) my WEI is the WEI of a rose.. rose in chinese another name is qiang wei.. yeap.. mine is not wei xiao de wei wor haha.. mine's the plant one with the cao zi tou.. =)
ok anyway this blog.. the song i chose is my current favourite song.. erm.. ya it's VERY emo la =X but it's damn meaningful.. =( veyr very nice.. i stil dunno who's the singer anyway =X but it's the soundtrack from the korean show GOONG.. =) damn nice show! laugh and cry like siao =( but i love the show.. i like the cute guy and the cute girl.. i HATE HYORIN! bitch sia =X hais.. watch le super emo.. nvm.. i'm strong! whee~ anyway i post the english meaning of this song here ba.. u'll love it! if wan get it from me ya? i got the song le whee~
it's kinda keep repeating la.. but thn it's a simple and nice song.. i love it =((((
Dang Shineun... Naneun Baboibnida - Stay
[English Translation]
I was a fool. I was a fool.
My regrets were too late too.
I know that it can't be turned back.
I know that I can't see you too.
I was so wrong, I'm so sorry.
I didn't get to say then, instead I was just being rotten.
So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry
I'm a fool
Because of my pride
I'm ruining myself with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
Don't be like that, think about it.
Think about what it took us to get here
Think about it again, you're going to regret it.
I was so wrong, I'm really sorry
I didn't get a chance to say then, instead I was just being rotten.
So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry
I'm a fool
Because of my pride
I'm ruining myeslf with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
I can't live a moment without you.
I still cry even no matter how I drink or if I cut my hair.
I'm a fool
Because of my prideI'm ruining myself with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
Don't ruin yourself anymore...
ok anyway this blog.. the song i chose is my current favourite song.. erm.. ya it's VERY emo la =X but it's damn meaningful.. =( veyr very nice.. i stil dunno who's the singer anyway =X but it's the soundtrack from the korean show GOONG.. =) damn nice show! laugh and cry like siao =( but i love the show.. i like the cute guy and the cute girl.. i HATE HYORIN! bitch sia =X hais.. watch le super emo.. nvm.. i'm strong! whee~ anyway i post the english meaning of this song here ba.. u'll love it! if wan get it from me ya? i got the song le whee~
it's kinda keep repeating la.. but thn it's a simple and nice song.. i love it =((((
Dang Shineun... Naneun Baboibnida - Stay
[English Translation]
I was a fool. I was a fool.
My regrets were too late too.
I know that it can't be turned back.
I know that I can't see you too.
I was so wrong, I'm so sorry.
I didn't get to say then, instead I was just being rotten.
So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry
I'm a fool
Because of my pride
I'm ruining myself with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
Don't be like that, think about it.
Think about what it took us to get here
Think about it again, you're going to regret it.
I was so wrong, I'm really sorry
I didn't get a chance to say then, instead I was just being rotten.
So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry
I'm a fool
Because of my pride
I'm ruining myeslf with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
I can't live a moment without you.
I still cry even no matter how I drink or if I cut my hair.
I'm a fool
Because of my prideI'm ruining myself with alcohol
and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.
I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you
You and I, we both are like fools.
Don't ruin yourself anymore...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
my first day at work.. tired.. not extremely but stil tired.. woke up at 7.30am.. wanted to go for math class.. but thn felt that i wil be very very tired so didnt go =X and also lifeng not goin so i also not goin le lo =X absent from sch for a week full le.. zaii ba? :D
BUT i stay home not do nothin and be a pig for a full day again ok! i did abit of calculation whether i should go sch today ornt =X lol!! i calculated my GPA.. ok i FAIL BADLY! =X but thn hor.. i calculate.. if i get juz a C for al my following UT rite.. i can get nearly a 3 for my GPA sia!!! where got so ho kang one?! so i calculate for very very long.. and yes it's true :D so hehehehe.. i skip sch =X
decided to concentrate on UT instead of goin to sch understand nothing gettin myself al tired and juz get a pathetic useless C -.- so in the morning, i studied my science UT2.. completed lessons from week 4-6.. easy dabian la =X but of cos need to research la.. not as if read PPT thn understand liao.. haha.. and i realise for the 3 weeks rite i onli went for week 5 lol!!! zaii~ i highlighted the main notes and understood al the chim chim words.. (wat to do.. it's science.. and science means CHIMAROLOGY)
thn at about 9.30, i studied my math UT2.. SIAO ONE!!!! same as usual, test on lessons of week 4-5.. but hor! why do i find it harder to understand when i went for more lesson?! i wen for week 5 and 6 lei!! yet hor i feel like a alien when reading =\ al the alphabets and weird weird signs =\ OMG X( i HATE math!!!to my dearest facilitator faizal.. i tell u one last time.. I HATE MATH! no matter how gd u are.. i HATE math!!!! X( i actually ask brenda to ask faizal to give me grade today lol =X cos i wanted to do the worksheet at home, thn send to class thn do RJ al that.. but he say i nv present thn wil get D maximum.. nabei.. might as well dun do!
i studied onli week 4's math UT lol! i decided to go watch my goong and bleach thn rest thn other days thn study week 5 and 6 =X aiya math UT stil long la.. 2 weeks lei -.- gan jiong spider.. =X ok anyway i slept at 2pm and woke up at 4pm.. got ready to go work at tatsu sushi.. i can say this is a bloody zaii place.. lol! i like the concept.. i like the interior design.. and i like the uniform but NOT mine -.-.. cos i'm a part timer, my uniform is damn aunty..
it's a kimono alrite.. but its greenish in solour and those aunty aunty one =( sian.. seeing those full timer wear their kimono SO NICE LA!!!! X( NVM! i work save money and buy one myself! i wan yukata not kimono anyway lalala~ work's fun.. ALOT ALOT to learn =\ and i swear the plate and tea is damn hot =( keep getting "burn" not reali kana burn la.. but those who noe me very very well one confirm noe i HATE, SCARED and SIAM hot stuff one.. eat seoul garden with me and u'll see.. eat steamboat with me and u'll noe.. =X see me cook maggie and u'll understand.. hahah!
but have to tahan la.. no choice.. my aim is to earn at least 2k for now.. i mean when i reach 2k i MIGHT stop working.. might nia la.. lol =X no la.. if gd thn maybe i can work til my year 2 sem 1 start.. cos see huh.. now i left like 7 weeks of sch nia.. thn got a month holiday in between and 2 months' holiday before i go year 2.. so can work alot =) can save money le!! i with my first pay which i predict wil have about 400bucks cos i not working everyday..
i wil get..
-my 1GB memory card for my stupid HP..
-put in 100bucks for mummy's new phone..
-a new shoe!
-more tees!
nothing much actually le.. that's wat i'll work within my 400 la.. =X if i get to save next few months on, i wish to get..
-1pair of jeans
-personalised jacket with gold embroidery XD
-new dance shoe
-treatment for my hair -.-
-oh yes! my yukata LALALALA!
-go for more dance lesson
-lastly my longgggggggggg term goal.. GO TO BLOODY JAPAN!!! ZzZzZz.. when can i go?!?!?!?!
talking about goin overseas.. mr jiasai juz now ask me wan go HK for x'mas ornt.. tink i got money ar?!?!?!?!? @!#$%^&* somemore my passport not done =( hais.. but hor i keep seeing this ad on tv ar.. about disney coming spore izit?!?! for x'mas.. or is it a ad to aks us go over? -.- hurrr i wan hug my donald duck.. i wan kiss minnie.. they're al so cute!!! XD if onli got simba.. =X i WONT LET GO!!!! lol =X ok anyway gonna watch some video le.. thn off to bed.. tml's a day out with sii.. or rather a nite out lol~ goin to bugis for shopping.. time for me to get some clothes.. gd nite everyone..
BUT i stay home not do nothin and be a pig for a full day again ok! i did abit of calculation whether i should go sch today ornt =X lol!! i calculated my GPA.. ok i FAIL BADLY! =X but thn hor.. i calculate.. if i get juz a C for al my following UT rite.. i can get nearly a 3 for my GPA sia!!! where got so ho kang one?! so i calculate for very very long.. and yes it's true :D so hehehehe.. i skip sch =X
decided to concentrate on UT instead of goin to sch understand nothing gettin myself al tired and juz get a pathetic useless C -.- so in the morning, i studied my science UT2.. completed lessons from week 4-6.. easy dabian la =X but of cos need to research la.. not as if read PPT thn understand liao.. haha.. and i realise for the 3 weeks rite i onli went for week 5 lol!!! zaii~ i highlighted the main notes and understood al the chim chim words.. (wat to do.. it's science.. and science means CHIMAROLOGY)
thn at about 9.30, i studied my math UT2.. SIAO ONE!!!! same as usual, test on lessons of week 4-5.. but hor! why do i find it harder to understand when i went for more lesson?! i wen for week 5 and 6 lei!! yet hor i feel like a alien when reading =\ al the alphabets and weird weird signs =\ OMG X( i HATE math!!!to my dearest facilitator faizal.. i tell u one last time.. I HATE MATH! no matter how gd u are.. i HATE math!!!! X( i actually ask brenda to ask faizal to give me grade today lol =X cos i wanted to do the worksheet at home, thn send to class thn do RJ al that.. but he say i nv present thn wil get D maximum.. nabei.. might as well dun do!
i studied onli week 4's math UT lol! i decided to go watch my goong and bleach thn rest thn other days thn study week 5 and 6 =X aiya math UT stil long la.. 2 weeks lei -.- gan jiong spider.. =X ok anyway i slept at 2pm and woke up at 4pm.. got ready to go work at tatsu sushi.. i can say this is a bloody zaii place.. lol! i like the concept.. i like the interior design.. and i like the uniform but NOT mine -.-.. cos i'm a part timer, my uniform is damn aunty..
it's a kimono alrite.. but its greenish in solour and those aunty aunty one =( sian.. seeing those full timer wear their kimono SO NICE LA!!!! X( NVM! i work save money and buy one myself! i wan yukata not kimono anyway lalala~ work's fun.. ALOT ALOT to learn =\ and i swear the plate and tea is damn hot =( keep getting "burn" not reali kana burn la.. but those who noe me very very well one confirm noe i HATE, SCARED and SIAM hot stuff one.. eat seoul garden with me and u'll see.. eat steamboat with me and u'll noe.. =X see me cook maggie and u'll understand.. hahah!
but have to tahan la.. no choice.. my aim is to earn at least 2k for now.. i mean when i reach 2k i MIGHT stop working.. might nia la.. lol =X no la.. if gd thn maybe i can work til my year 2 sem 1 start.. cos see huh.. now i left like 7 weeks of sch nia.. thn got a month holiday in between and 2 months' holiday before i go year 2.. so can work alot =) can save money le!! i with my first pay which i predict wil have about 400bucks cos i not working everyday..
i wil get..
-my 1GB memory card for my stupid HP..
-put in 100bucks for mummy's new phone..
-a new shoe!
-more tees!
nothing much actually le.. that's wat i'll work within my 400 la.. =X if i get to save next few months on, i wish to get..
-1pair of jeans
-personalised jacket with gold embroidery XD
-new dance shoe
-treatment for my hair -.-
-oh yes! my yukata LALALALA!
-go for more dance lesson
-lastly my longgggggggggg term goal.. GO TO BLOODY JAPAN!!! ZzZzZz.. when can i go?!?!?!?!
talking about goin overseas.. mr jiasai juz now ask me wan go HK for x'mas ornt.. tink i got money ar?!?!?!?!? @!#$%^&* somemore my passport not done =( hais.. but hor i keep seeing this ad on tv ar.. about disney coming spore izit?!?! for x'mas.. or is it a ad to aks us go over? -.- hurrr i wan hug my donald duck.. i wan kiss minnie.. they're al so cute!!! XD if onli got simba.. =X i WONT LET GO!!!! lol =X ok anyway gonna watch some video le.. thn off to bed.. tml's a day out with sii.. or rather a nite out lol~ goin to bugis for shopping.. time for me to get some clothes.. gd nite everyone..
Friday, November 17, 2006
stars dun exist onli in the sky.. the exist even in the water.. and even in my heart.. look carefully at the waters.. this.. is a beautiful view of vivo.. a perfect place for couples.. and also a perfect place for groups pf frens after a day of sentosa, and go there relax.. a nice view of nice cable cars and the sea and of cos.. sentosa..
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
have been researchin and coming across alot of stuff bout love these 2 days.. anyway juz some stuffs to share abit.. 2 stories and a few quotes.. nothing much to read about.. can read it if u're free.. these are things i believe in and they hit me.. so enjoy..
Story 1 - Loving the imperfect
They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.
Today, she's being willful again.
Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."
Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."
First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".
Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.
Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."
He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.
Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.
Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."
She remains silent.
Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."
She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.
Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"
He brings the photo before her eyes. She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.
He sighs.
She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.
He's asleep.
She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo.
A photo he took for her.
She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Story 2 - True Love
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home....
suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:
"My dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Love Quotes..
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after.
Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
"I could never regret loving you because even if you didn't love me anymore, I know that you once did and that is the most wonderful feeling because I never thought that I deserved your love."
"Loving someone is loving that someone despite that person's flaws and weakness."
"When you are in love nothing matters except that the other person is happy."
Story 1 - Loving the imperfect
They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.
Today, she's being willful again.
Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."
Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."
First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".
Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.
Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."
He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.
Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.
Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."
She remains silent.
Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."
She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.
Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"
He brings the photo before her eyes. She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.
He sighs.
She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.
He's asleep.
She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo.
A photo he took for her.
She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Story 2 - True Love
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home....
suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:
"My dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Love Quotes..
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after.
Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
"I could never regret loving you because even if you didn't love me anymore, I know that you once did and that is the most wonderful feeling because I never thought that I deserved your love."
"Loving someone is loving that someone despite that person's flaws and weakness."
"When you are in love nothing matters except that the other person is happy."
didnt go sch again.. hais.. anyway, i've set the "password" column before u al enter my blog.. but it's not exactly a password it's there cos i wan u al to promise u al wil keep cool even if it's against u.. my tag board is for u to leave a msg.. not to fight for ur rights or try to create trouble.. anyone that tries to create trouble, i wil block the IP address.. so no point trying to argue with me.. there's something call MSN for u to come and confront me and scold me al u wan if u wan.. not on my tagboards..
back to my stuff.. was having a terrible nite ytd.. =\ initially lie down, close my eyes.. rest.. suddenly flashbacks made me felt like shit.. i teared.. thn suddenly i started to tink about my life.. my family.. my frens.. and i ask god.. why am i brought to this world?" why do god create me when he doesnt give me a gd life? compared to many others, i'm suay enuff.. i dun have perfect family.. yes i do have a house.. but it's a house not a home.. it's juz a empty no feeling house..
i dun have perfect frens.. ya i admit there are a few frens i'm lucky to have.. but overall.. who's true? even some ppl i hang out with very often doesnt seem true.. or rather i shud say.. doesnt understand me at all.. why? i'm not gd in dance either.. have been hanging in this industry for 4 bloody years.. and i'ms til where i am.. others would have been far away from where they started.. i dun have gd financial backgroud to go for lessons.. i am not talented to be able to dance on my own.. i was lucky til i met lush and had VIP..
no nid to say.. my love life.. looking back at it.. it's pure SHIT.. when do i felt love? once or twice out of 14? i've dumped 7guys in my life.. and got dumped 7 times in return.. wil the next one be the right one? or at least a mutual dumped? =\ i reali dunno wat is this love life that i'm having.. why am i pulling myself down cos of al these nonsense? why shud i even be involve in love? wat is love? it dun buy me food.. it dun make me a better dancer.. worst of al, it dun bring me happiness for long.. in fact it brought me much more sadness and break me down thn brought me happiness..
my studies.. i aint in a gd sch.. i aint in a normal poly where our cert wil be recognised by everyone.. i dun have a normal "cca" i cant dance like i expected when i dreamt of being in poly.. i dreamt that i'm a NYP student being in FB.. but no.. i'm a Rp student being in ig.. and a messed up ig.. i'm not blaming anyone but the higher authorities for this.. wat's with al the stupid rules? wat's with al the "future view" for us when u dun even wan to help as much? they're juz leaving everything to us and yet not accepting wat we proposed.. wat's the use??
why is my life liddat? i did not even lead a normal life like any others.. i had police records.. probation records.. 3yrs of my life is taken away.. without freedom.. without love.. facing al the sentence al alone.. i have a broken family since the age of 11.. felt al alone since thn.. walked the wrong path since 11yrs old and was lead astray.. pon sch, didnt go home, smoke, drink, rob, fight.. al these ive done them.. but why? i dun wan to.. but it juz came into my life.. i was a ah lian.. i admit.. but do i have a choice? life's been set liddat for me..
at that point of time, do i noe wat is ah lian? i dun.. i onli noe.. since no one loves me or cares for me at home or in sch, i shall turn to my frens who treats me as a sister.. follow wat they do.. at the age of 11 i have no idea wat's right and wrong.. didnt noe al the consequences.. and yet i'm punish for them.. why do i have to lead such a tiring life? seeking for love, seeking for acceptance, seeking for happiness..
my church.. it gave me a shelter in the heart for awhile.. til my police case was announced.. everyone may seems like they cared and willing to help us so much.. but within their hearts, they despise us.. look down on us and dun even wanna hang out with us.. lunch time, were left alone.. parents stop their child from hanging out with us.. no one calls us down for service or youth meetings anymore.. so wat is this "we wil be there for u" thing about? god taught us to love and forgive.. to accept everyone because everyoe is his precious masterpiece, his precious child, his precious creation.. but why do everyone rejects me?
i've never felt any acceptance in my entire life maybe onli from clover.. when i say acceptance i mean full acceptance.. they were the ones accepting my flaws and helped me to remove them patiently.. they were ones there for me even when i'm down.. they helped me thru many difficult times.. they did not scold me.. instead, they talk to me patiently made me understand even when they themselves are gettin frustrated with a lousy fren like me.. but stil.. i've lost them..
so why do god create me when he doesnt intend to give me a gd life? i dun ask for much.. juz ask for a easier way to live? ask for acceptance from ppl? i dun need the whole world to accept me.. but at least those ard me? i wish no one made use of me anymore? i wish i have frens who're patient enuff to help this stubborn girl understand things in life? i wish for a slightly better life.. juz the acceptance.. why am i born? why am i created? since i dun have nice gd life, why cant he give me a nice personality? a gentle heart, a gentle person? i dun have any gd things in life.. so why am i here???
gettin emo al over evrything in life.. hais.. life.. love.. frens.. family.. i have none other thn this empty life.. guess i'll juz live this life away.. let it juz fade and be gone one day.. no point trying to work so hardfor everyone to accept me and wish for ppl to help me when i myself dunno how to help myself.. argh fuck this life of mine..
back to my stuff.. was having a terrible nite ytd.. =\ initially lie down, close my eyes.. rest.. suddenly flashbacks made me felt like shit.. i teared.. thn suddenly i started to tink about my life.. my family.. my frens.. and i ask god.. why am i brought to this world?" why do god create me when he doesnt give me a gd life? compared to many others, i'm suay enuff.. i dun have perfect family.. yes i do have a house.. but it's a house not a home.. it's juz a empty no feeling house..
i dun have perfect frens.. ya i admit there are a few frens i'm lucky to have.. but overall.. who's true? even some ppl i hang out with very often doesnt seem true.. or rather i shud say.. doesnt understand me at all.. why? i'm not gd in dance either.. have been hanging in this industry for 4 bloody years.. and i'ms til where i am.. others would have been far away from where they started.. i dun have gd financial backgroud to go for lessons.. i am not talented to be able to dance on my own.. i was lucky til i met lush and had VIP..
no nid to say.. my love life.. looking back at it.. it's pure SHIT.. when do i felt love? once or twice out of 14? i've dumped 7guys in my life.. and got dumped 7 times in return.. wil the next one be the right one? or at least a mutual dumped? =\ i reali dunno wat is this love life that i'm having.. why am i pulling myself down cos of al these nonsense? why shud i even be involve in love? wat is love? it dun buy me food.. it dun make me a better dancer.. worst of al, it dun bring me happiness for long.. in fact it brought me much more sadness and break me down thn brought me happiness..
my studies.. i aint in a gd sch.. i aint in a normal poly where our cert wil be recognised by everyone.. i dun have a normal "cca" i cant dance like i expected when i dreamt of being in poly.. i dreamt that i'm a NYP student being in FB.. but no.. i'm a Rp student being in ig.. and a messed up ig.. i'm not blaming anyone but the higher authorities for this.. wat's with al the stupid rules? wat's with al the "future view" for us when u dun even wan to help as much? they're juz leaving everything to us and yet not accepting wat we proposed.. wat's the use??
why is my life liddat? i did not even lead a normal life like any others.. i had police records.. probation records.. 3yrs of my life is taken away.. without freedom.. without love.. facing al the sentence al alone.. i have a broken family since the age of 11.. felt al alone since thn.. walked the wrong path since 11yrs old and was lead astray.. pon sch, didnt go home, smoke, drink, rob, fight.. al these ive done them.. but why? i dun wan to.. but it juz came into my life.. i was a ah lian.. i admit.. but do i have a choice? life's been set liddat for me..
at that point of time, do i noe wat is ah lian? i dun.. i onli noe.. since no one loves me or cares for me at home or in sch, i shall turn to my frens who treats me as a sister.. follow wat they do.. at the age of 11 i have no idea wat's right and wrong.. didnt noe al the consequences.. and yet i'm punish for them.. why do i have to lead such a tiring life? seeking for love, seeking for acceptance, seeking for happiness..
my church.. it gave me a shelter in the heart for awhile.. til my police case was announced.. everyone may seems like they cared and willing to help us so much.. but within their hearts, they despise us.. look down on us and dun even wanna hang out with us.. lunch time, were left alone.. parents stop their child from hanging out with us.. no one calls us down for service or youth meetings anymore.. so wat is this "we wil be there for u" thing about? god taught us to love and forgive.. to accept everyone because everyoe is his precious masterpiece, his precious child, his precious creation.. but why do everyone rejects me?
i've never felt any acceptance in my entire life maybe onli from clover.. when i say acceptance i mean full acceptance.. they were the ones accepting my flaws and helped me to remove them patiently.. they were ones there for me even when i'm down.. they helped me thru many difficult times.. they did not scold me.. instead, they talk to me patiently made me understand even when they themselves are gettin frustrated with a lousy fren like me.. but stil.. i've lost them..
so why do god create me when he doesnt intend to give me a gd life? i dun ask for much.. juz ask for a easier way to live? ask for acceptance from ppl? i dun need the whole world to accept me.. but at least those ard me? i wish no one made use of me anymore? i wish i have frens who're patient enuff to help this stubborn girl understand things in life? i wish for a slightly better life.. juz the acceptance.. why am i born? why am i created? since i dun have nice gd life, why cant he give me a nice personality? a gentle heart, a gentle person? i dun have any gd things in life.. so why am i here???
gettin emo al over evrything in life.. hais.. life.. love.. frens.. family.. i have none other thn this empty life.. guess i'll juz live this life away.. let it juz fade and be gone one day.. no point trying to work so hardfor everyone to accept me and wish for ppl to help me when i myself dunno how to help myself.. argh fuck this life of mine..
Monday, November 13, 2006
public apology to ashley.. sorry girl misunderstanding..
mum: are u very sad?
me: no la i'm fine =)
mum keeps staring at me
me: wat?!?!
mum: i'm sure u're not fine.. wat happen?
me: nothing la.. haha
mum: quarrel with him ar?
me: no la.. break up haha!
mum : HUH?!?! when?!
me: ytd..
mum: i thot u were very happy ytd?
me: ya la.. dance win ma..
mum: but how come break?
me: to him i'm juz a little girl stil in her rebellious days.. he hates me for who i am.. (i tell her the whole story)
mum: aiyo.. when both cool down le thn talk again?
me: talk wat? nothin to talk le.. he made it sound that i'm so useless, so lousy.. why do i have to make him noe that i'm wonderful and a perfect person?
mum: i tink u're stil very angry.. instead of sad =\
me: i AM angry!!! u noe how the fuck he say things ornt?! need to be so cruel as a bf meh?!?! hello.. i'm his gf lei.. not a enemy or his student lei.. not even a fren.. i'm a bloody GIRLFRIEND!!!
mum : ... u go bathe thn rest first ba ...
my mum was shock why i behave liddat.. because i reali am angry and hurt.. not angry and hurt cos he left me.. but angry at HOW he put the message across.. do he have to make me sound like a ultimate bitch? am i tat lousy? "STUCK UP" i wont forget this word.. and wat nonsense is he trying to tell me by saying a whole big chuk of words here?
its.. the only way i had to do it... to make u stop loving mi and hate mi.. we cannot keep tryin over and over again.. we'l just keep hurting ourselves every week/month/year.. we love each other alot, and we'l sometimes blinded by it to try again, give it another chance.. i honestly frankly truthfully still love u alot, but this is the only way to make u happy in the future, to break off and hate me, and find someone truly worthy of u.. i m tired with so much work, so much committements.. i cannot give u wat u need... u need someone so much better than mi... its crap. its bull. its nonsense. but its the truth. i don care even if u hate mi and never tok to mi again at least i'm gone form ur life. love, is not about being happy together... its about sacrifice and seeing the ones u love being happy.. i tried, 2 weeks ago, to put things away nicely... and its my own mistake to sugar it up and say we need a 2nd chance... it only led ourselves to beleive in fairy tales..
by this chunk of words.. it's juz plainly showing that he's the one giving up NOT ME.. when he said "u're the one giving up so easily???" the last time we almost broke up.. so what does it tells here? and wat is it that he wan me to hate him? tat makes me happy?!?! i ask everyone reading here a question la.. do u feel happy when u hate the one u love? or rather.. do u even feel happy juz by hating ppl? if ur answer is yes.. thn sorry i'm not same as u.. i HATE to HATE.. seriously.. and wat is it about "at least i'm gone from ur life?" do u reali tink by making u hate me, by breaking up liddat in a fucking ugly way, u'll be gone? u're juz leaving a deeper scar in me.. and for ur info.. it's a scar.. and scar stays for life.. "love is about sacrifice and seeing the one u love happy.." wtf?! so u mean by losing the one i love on one of my happiest day in such a ugly way is me being happy?!?! in fact losing the one i love is already nothing to be happy about.. by saying things liddat are plainly being selfish.. u're juz making it a painful memory even if i were to find a perfect guy next time.. u're juz like any of my ex now leaving bad memories.. and lik u remnding me of my ex, one day i wil get reminded of my ex which includes u again and u tink i wil be happy?! why do he always love to assume? even til break up stil assuming?! he assumes i'll be happier if we break up?! he assumes i wil hate him if these things happen? yes true i wil hate u.. but for ur info.. to love and to hate at the same time, u're plainly making me suffer much more! where got a r/s goes damn smoothly one? which married couples never faced break ups during their dating periods? it's juz the determination and will to make to work or not.. the power of the love is stronger thn anythin and can overcome almost anything.. it juz takes time.. but he himself aint giving anytime.. he himself chose to give up and end it even before we can even prove it.. juz a bloody 4months and u're telling me "it's not gonna work"? juz faced 2 previous break ups and u cant take it anymore? thn DUN say u love me la.. when u cant take al thee small small things.. what are al the "i love u" for?!
i tink i said enuff.. dun wish to say anymore before other readers tinks i'm trying to make him look ugly or make myself looks pity... dun misunderstand.. he's a nice guy.. at least til before ytd.. i never imagined him to be so selfish in his thinkings and such a monster to say such nasty stuffs.. he had always been a gentleman.. a fun guy.. a lame guy.. a loving guy.. but til ytd.. everythin suddenly change.. he said he lost it ytd.. why? cos he stress? and vent on me?! hello~ wat to do? i can juz accept the fact that the guy i knew wasnt the guy now anymore.. since he can hate me so much with juz one nite, wat's the point of even tinking about say sorry and patch things up? wat's the point of me reflecting on my personality? wat's the point of me finding my own mistakes? wat's the point of my frens asking me "wil u accept him again?" wat's the point of mummy telling me to "wait for him to finish his studies lo maybe he can tink better" it al no point when a monster came out of him so suddenly.. i was shocked.. more thn shocked.. traumatised!
this hurt i've always been talking about is NOT the breaking up.. is not losing him.. ya these hurts too.. but since it's a no choice thing it's ok.. but the hurt here is the monster that spoke to me ytd.. the painful words pierced thru my heart directly.. without any hesitations.. words of anger? haha.. so wat?! it's stil something from the bottom of his heart anyway.. since he dunno how to make it sound nicer to pass to his own gf.. thn wat can i do? plainly hurt..
mum: are u very sad?
me: no la i'm fine =)
mum keeps staring at me
me: wat?!?!
mum: i'm sure u're not fine.. wat happen?
me: nothing la.. haha
mum: quarrel with him ar?
me: no la.. break up haha!
mum : HUH?!?! when?!
me: ytd..
mum: i thot u were very happy ytd?
me: ya la.. dance win ma..
mum: but how come break?
me: to him i'm juz a little girl stil in her rebellious days.. he hates me for who i am.. (i tell her the whole story)
mum: aiyo.. when both cool down le thn talk again?
me: talk wat? nothin to talk le.. he made it sound that i'm so useless, so lousy.. why do i have to make him noe that i'm wonderful and a perfect person?
mum: i tink u're stil very angry.. instead of sad =\
me: i AM angry!!! u noe how the fuck he say things ornt?! need to be so cruel as a bf meh?!?! hello.. i'm his gf lei.. not a enemy or his student lei.. not even a fren.. i'm a bloody GIRLFRIEND!!!
mum : ... u go bathe thn rest first ba ...
my mum was shock why i behave liddat.. because i reali am angry and hurt.. not angry and hurt cos he left me.. but angry at HOW he put the message across.. do he have to make me sound like a ultimate bitch? am i tat lousy? "STUCK UP" i wont forget this word.. and wat nonsense is he trying to tell me by saying a whole big chuk of words here?
its.. the only way i had to do it... to make u stop loving mi and hate mi.. we cannot keep tryin over and over again.. we'l just keep hurting ourselves every week/month/year.. we love each other alot, and we'l sometimes blinded by it to try again, give it another chance.. i honestly frankly truthfully still love u alot, but this is the only way to make u happy in the future, to break off and hate me, and find someone truly worthy of u.. i m tired with so much work, so much committements.. i cannot give u wat u need... u need someone so much better than mi... its crap. its bull. its nonsense. but its the truth. i don care even if u hate mi and never tok to mi again at least i'm gone form ur life. love, is not about being happy together... its about sacrifice and seeing the ones u love being happy.. i tried, 2 weeks ago, to put things away nicely... and its my own mistake to sugar it up and say we need a 2nd chance... it only led ourselves to beleive in fairy tales..
by this chunk of words.. it's juz plainly showing that he's the one giving up NOT ME.. when he said "u're the one giving up so easily???" the last time we almost broke up.. so what does it tells here? and wat is it that he wan me to hate him? tat makes me happy?!?! i ask everyone reading here a question la.. do u feel happy when u hate the one u love? or rather.. do u even feel happy juz by hating ppl? if ur answer is yes.. thn sorry i'm not same as u.. i HATE to HATE.. seriously.. and wat is it about "at least i'm gone from ur life?" do u reali tink by making u hate me, by breaking up liddat in a fucking ugly way, u'll be gone? u're juz leaving a deeper scar in me.. and for ur info.. it's a scar.. and scar stays for life.. "love is about sacrifice and seeing the one u love happy.." wtf?! so u mean by losing the one i love on one of my happiest day in such a ugly way is me being happy?!?! in fact losing the one i love is already nothing to be happy about.. by saying things liddat are plainly being selfish.. u're juz making it a painful memory even if i were to find a perfect guy next time.. u're juz like any of my ex now leaving bad memories.. and lik u remnding me of my ex, one day i wil get reminded of my ex which includes u again and u tink i wil be happy?! why do he always love to assume? even til break up stil assuming?! he assumes i'll be happier if we break up?! he assumes i wil hate him if these things happen? yes true i wil hate u.. but for ur info.. to love and to hate at the same time, u're plainly making me suffer much more! where got a r/s goes damn smoothly one? which married couples never faced break ups during their dating periods? it's juz the determination and will to make to work or not.. the power of the love is stronger thn anythin and can overcome almost anything.. it juz takes time.. but he himself aint giving anytime.. he himself chose to give up and end it even before we can even prove it.. juz a bloody 4months and u're telling me "it's not gonna work"? juz faced 2 previous break ups and u cant take it anymore? thn DUN say u love me la.. when u cant take al thee small small things.. what are al the "i love u" for?!
i tink i said enuff.. dun wish to say anymore before other readers tinks i'm trying to make him look ugly or make myself looks pity... dun misunderstand.. he's a nice guy.. at least til before ytd.. i never imagined him to be so selfish in his thinkings and such a monster to say such nasty stuffs.. he had always been a gentleman.. a fun guy.. a lame guy.. a loving guy.. but til ytd.. everythin suddenly change.. he said he lost it ytd.. why? cos he stress? and vent on me?! hello~ wat to do? i can juz accept the fact that the guy i knew wasnt the guy now anymore.. since he can hate me so much with juz one nite, wat's the point of even tinking about say sorry and patch things up? wat's the point of me reflecting on my personality? wat's the point of me finding my own mistakes? wat's the point of my frens asking me "wil u accept him again?" wat's the point of mummy telling me to "wait for him to finish his studies lo maybe he can tink better" it al no point when a monster came out of him so suddenly.. i was shocked.. more thn shocked.. traumatised!
this hurt i've always been talking about is NOT the breaking up.. is not losing him.. ya these hurts too.. but since it's a no choice thing it's ok.. but the hurt here is the monster that spoke to me ytd.. the painful words pierced thru my heart directly.. without any hesitations.. words of anger? haha.. so wat?! it's stil something from the bottom of his heart anyway.. since he dunno how to make it sound nicer to pass to his own gf.. thn wat can i do? plainly hurt..
the song by nicky lee.. title Zai Jian.. beautiful lyrics..
when u chose to let me be happy..
have u ever thot "wat'll make me happy?"
not by losing the one i love..
not by losing the guy i even noe to become a monster
not by hearing al the fucking hurtful things from the one i love
not by hurting me on my special day
not by making me hate u
why are u stil so kiddish in ur thinking?!
wil u grow up too?
doin al these kinda stuff which my ex had done them like empteen times?
i'm damn used to it but it's juz making me feel like laughing..
pain felt deep..
Sunday, November 12, 2006
everything have come to an end.. ya between me and him.. many things came into the pic.. no time for one another, different mindsets, him being so mature me being so childish, him knwoing everything that's right/good for me.. me doin al the bad stuff like closing doors, saying bad stuffs about breakdancers.. shui bian le la.. wat else can i say? i'm fucking tired and i'm fuckin no mood to talk about anything else.. he say he didnt hurt me.. he was juz saying truth.. ya ya.. truth to hurt? ha~ he's one typical kind that wil bring up the old past to fight for his stand.. wat's with bringing up the past man..
"but let mi tel u even if ewan comes to hhig u will quit cos ewan talks to mi alot and he WANS the WHOLE CLUB to break good luck.. "
wat's with his assumption? he's always liddat.. "u confirm wil..." assume wat sai? so nice to assume? so wat if even if that were to happen? so wat is wat he assumes is rite? by saying al these, he already made me feel "he dun even have faith in me"
"u need to STOP being so stuck up in ur tihnking"
for the very very first time in my whole entire life.. my very own bf saying this.. haha! now thn i noe.. the guy whom i loved.. and i even willing to accept his stuck up ness is tinking that i am stuck up.. saying me stuck up.. ya i am.. wat about him? if he is not stuck up why muz he always say the word "it's a fuck up show" i mean.. if u're so damn gd to comment that others' are fuck up thn why not u show it la? show u can do a better show? organise a better event? stop waiting for oppportunities to fall onto ur lap la..
"i think u dunno how to communiCate with anyone"
how nice for ur bf to say this to u? wat else can i say? dun use the word ANYONE when there's someone i can communicate with.. if i cant communicate with ANYONE, i wont have a single fren.. haha!
"reflect on why so many pple break up with u"
when i'm running far away and hiding from the hurting wounds, he broght them up.. how damn fucking nice.. if i were to say anythin back.. i would say not al guys broke up with me.. infact i left them more thn they dumping me.. and for ur info.. they broke up with meover different reasons.. none were like urs..
"and i don wanna waste my time on u anymore"
wow.. now thn i noe.. being with me has always been a time waster for him.. haha.. no wonderhe's always tired when we were out on date.. no wonder he's always unhappy.. no wonder.. shudnt he have juz broke up with me the very first time? why wait til now? and why do i have to give our r/s another chance for this fucking hurts? he say he didnt hurt me.. wat's al the highlighted sentence i've place here thn?
"u ARE NOT CHANGE IN LO"
i never change?!?! wow wow wow~ that's the biggest hurtful thing i heard man! lol!!! why shud i tahan al his "no time for me?" why shud i keep everythin inside me? why shud i be afraid of affecting his project? why shud i even tahan my pms? why shud i sms him much more often now even thou my sms had long shoot cross the border? i didnt change?! i cant believe it..
"the overall topic is, u need to learn how to be in a relationship, be fore u can go into one."
why should one learn how to be in a r/s before goin into one? than how do one learn without even goin into a failed r/s? wat is he trying to say? lol.. and wat about him? is he that perfect to be a husband? or a boyfren? can he reali noe wat a girl wans? or rather wat every different girl wans? wil he even be able to distribute his time for his gf, work and dance? if he can.. thn why this r/s fail? why i feel so sian? why he cant make me feel so damn much in love with him? it's because he himself dunno how to be in a r/s before he goes into one.. speak for urself before u speak for me mr larry
"ur blog always make mi look like SHIT"
thn wat about his blog? haha~ do i sound like a wonderful gf in his blog? fyi.. NO..
"from ur blog, altough u nv say, u give everyone theh impression that u hate what i do"
making an ASS out of U and ME.. ASSUME AGAINNNNNNN hahahaa!!!!
"i honestly din write ANYTHING BAD until i go and try see how u react"
OMG kiddish games lol!!! the last time it happened was when i was bloody 13 -.- trust a 25 to do that..
from me: why do u care so much about wat others tink?
him: I DO!
OMG now i noe our r/s is not onli about us.. it's about everyone ard us! no wonder it's so tiring eing his gf.. have to "make him look gd" and "make myself look gd" but wat's the point of wat other cares when we ourselves aint happen in the first place??? a r/s is NOT a show to entertain ppl..
"i m finding fault in u lo"
"go write that in ur blog la"
i juz paste this cos he wan me to paste haha..
"ASHLEY"
"she ask mi to break with u"
"YES"
"she ask mi to break with u months ago"
WOW!!! biggest shock.. ashley i didnt noe u were such a GOOD and TRUSTWORTHY fren of mine.. thanks girl.. i wont forget that..
"so many pple ask mi to break with u"
"even ur friends"
as if no one ask me to break with him liddat.. how many there are man.. some even told me before we were tgt NOT to be with him.. i should have trusted them.. they noe him better.. but somehow ok la.. maybe not as bad as wat they said.. he's a nice bf.. (not for me) but ya a nice bf for girls who terribly need guys to dote on them.. girls who're extremely sticky to their bf but am ok with their bf being so damn busy the guy got no time for her.. materialistic girls would LOVE him like mad..
"we're fucking not made for each other."
i've said that before.. he dun trust me.. asking me to tink over our r/s again.. asking me to tink carefully whether i reali wan to end it reali wan to give up ornt.. thn now?
me: you dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me
him: i didnt hurt u.. i even tinking of having "affairs" with someone and make u hate me
NONSENSE! if u wan a new gf juz go ahead la.. wan some sexual satisfaction thn go ahead la.. dun take this as an excuse or made me feel worst.. i dun fucking care..
juz by this conversation alone.. i felt very very hurt.. not because he left me.. but because.. my fren.. my one fren whom i considered my best fren.. betrayed me.. thanks ash! and i didnt noe being with me is a time waster for him.. i didnt noe him never even notice my change for him or rather my attempt to change.. i didnt noe he tinks i can communicate with NOBODY.. i didnt noe our r/s consist of wat other tinks and not onli ourselves.. i didnt noe i wil be scolded stuck up by a stuck up person.. and of cos.. i'm hurt because that fucker (i reali meant FUCKER) brought up my past wounds.. juz when i'm runnign far from it he brings it back into my face.. gd job larry.. u tink by doin these wil make me a better person? NO.. u're juz making hating guys more and more shutting more doors.. u always say u wil help me.. slowly bit by bit.. this is NOT helping.. dun say and do nothing bout it.. and dun say watever bullshit rainbow promises in the first place when u cant even keep them.. dun make empty promises.. dun make the world of ours sound so nice and crush it with ur own bloody temper..
from now on.. life for me is dance and studies.. lookin for a new bf? NO.. not at all now.. i Hate GUYS.. I HATE BASTARDS WHO CANT KEEP PROMISES.. i hate guys who're selfish.. vega's rite.. guys are bastards.. they call us sluts when they themselves make us one.. i didnt say he did call me or wat but i'm juz stating a general line.. i hate guys who treat us like gems at first and rubbish in the end.. i hate ppl who cant share my joy.. i hate ppl who hurt me.. i hate i hate and i hate.. i shall be single and love my mum.. no one loves me is ok.. i'm used to it.. and since he say til i'm such a lousy gf thn why shud i risk getting into another r/s? since he say i'm such a lousy stuck up person, why should i get close to anymore guys? since he keep tinking i wont change, why shud i try to change? i'll juz be me.. me me and me.. get out and get lost.. anyone tries to play ard with my tag one more time i wil totally shut myself off the world.. it's ok.. juz a password on my blog is fine.. i dun nid everyone to read my blog.. and get high and start creating trouble al over.. leave me alone bitches and bastards..
the last nice words from him that didnt came in time..
Hope when she reads this (if she ever reads my blog..), she would be reading with a very happy heart and the Champion Title..
Good luck, to her, and myself.
u dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me..
one last cry
after tonite, everythin wil be new, a new me, a new life..
seeking nothing but truth in life
get away if u're not true
dun come close for i bite
just a few thing i didnt have the time to use them or finish creating them.. this is a blog skin created but haven tyet used but it cant be use anymore..
"but let mi tel u even if ewan comes to hhig u will quit cos ewan talks to mi alot and he WANS the WHOLE CLUB to break good luck.. "
wat's with his assumption? he's always liddat.. "u confirm wil..." assume wat sai? so nice to assume? so wat if even if that were to happen? so wat is wat he assumes is rite? by saying al these, he already made me feel "he dun even have faith in me"
"u need to STOP being so stuck up in ur tihnking"
for the very very first time in my whole entire life.. my very own bf saying this.. haha! now thn i noe.. the guy whom i loved.. and i even willing to accept his stuck up ness is tinking that i am stuck up.. saying me stuck up.. ya i am.. wat about him? if he is not stuck up why muz he always say the word "it's a fuck up show" i mean.. if u're so damn gd to comment that others' are fuck up thn why not u show it la? show u can do a better show? organise a better event? stop waiting for oppportunities to fall onto ur lap la..
"i think u dunno how to communiCate with anyone"
how nice for ur bf to say this to u? wat else can i say? dun use the word ANYONE when there's someone i can communicate with.. if i cant communicate with ANYONE, i wont have a single fren.. haha!
"reflect on why so many pple break up with u"
when i'm running far away and hiding from the hurting wounds, he broght them up.. how damn fucking nice.. if i were to say anythin back.. i would say not al guys broke up with me.. infact i left them more thn they dumping me.. and for ur info.. they broke up with meover different reasons.. none were like urs..
"and i don wanna waste my time on u anymore"
wow.. now thn i noe.. being with me has always been a time waster for him.. haha.. no wonderhe's always tired when we were out on date.. no wonder he's always unhappy.. no wonder.. shudnt he have juz broke up with me the very first time? why wait til now? and why do i have to give our r/s another chance for this fucking hurts? he say he didnt hurt me.. wat's al the highlighted sentence i've place here thn?
"u ARE NOT CHANGE IN LO"
i never change?!?! wow wow wow~ that's the biggest hurtful thing i heard man! lol!!! why shud i tahan al his "no time for me?" why shud i keep everythin inside me? why shud i be afraid of affecting his project? why shud i even tahan my pms? why shud i sms him much more often now even thou my sms had long shoot cross the border? i didnt change?! i cant believe it..
"the overall topic is, u need to learn how to be in a relationship, be fore u can go into one."
why should one learn how to be in a r/s before goin into one? than how do one learn without even goin into a failed r/s? wat is he trying to say? lol.. and wat about him? is he that perfect to be a husband? or a boyfren? can he reali noe wat a girl wans? or rather wat every different girl wans? wil he even be able to distribute his time for his gf, work and dance? if he can.. thn why this r/s fail? why i feel so sian? why he cant make me feel so damn much in love with him? it's because he himself dunno how to be in a r/s before he goes into one.. speak for urself before u speak for me mr larry
"ur blog always make mi look like SHIT"
thn wat about his blog? haha~ do i sound like a wonderful gf in his blog? fyi.. NO..
"from ur blog, altough u nv say, u give everyone theh impression that u hate what i do"
making an ASS out of U and ME.. ASSUME AGAINNNNNNN hahahaa!!!!
"i honestly din write ANYTHING BAD until i go and try see how u react"
OMG kiddish games lol!!! the last time it happened was when i was bloody 13 -.- trust a 25 to do that..
from me: why do u care so much about wat others tink?
him: I DO!
OMG now i noe our r/s is not onli about us.. it's about everyone ard us! no wonder it's so tiring eing his gf.. have to "make him look gd" and "make myself look gd" but wat's the point of wat other cares when we ourselves aint happen in the first place??? a r/s is NOT a show to entertain ppl..
"i m finding fault in u lo"
"go write that in ur blog la"
i juz paste this cos he wan me to paste haha..
"ASHLEY"
"she ask mi to break with u"
"YES"
"she ask mi to break with u months ago"
WOW!!! biggest shock.. ashley i didnt noe u were such a GOOD and TRUSTWORTHY fren of mine.. thanks girl.. i wont forget that..
"so many pple ask mi to break with u"
"even ur friends"
as if no one ask me to break with him liddat.. how many there are man.. some even told me before we were tgt NOT to be with him.. i should have trusted them.. they noe him better.. but somehow ok la.. maybe not as bad as wat they said.. he's a nice bf.. (not for me) but ya a nice bf for girls who terribly need guys to dote on them.. girls who're extremely sticky to their bf but am ok with their bf being so damn busy the guy got no time for her.. materialistic girls would LOVE him like mad..
"we're fucking not made for each other."
i've said that before.. he dun trust me.. asking me to tink over our r/s again.. asking me to tink carefully whether i reali wan to end it reali wan to give up ornt.. thn now?
me: you dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me
him: i didnt hurt u.. i even tinking of having "affairs" with someone and make u hate me
NONSENSE! if u wan a new gf juz go ahead la.. wan some sexual satisfaction thn go ahead la.. dun take this as an excuse or made me feel worst.. i dun fucking care..
juz by this conversation alone.. i felt very very hurt.. not because he left me.. but because.. my fren.. my one fren whom i considered my best fren.. betrayed me.. thanks ash! and i didnt noe being with me is a time waster for him.. i didnt noe him never even notice my change for him or rather my attempt to change.. i didnt noe he tinks i can communicate with NOBODY.. i didnt noe our r/s consist of wat other tinks and not onli ourselves.. i didnt noe i wil be scolded stuck up by a stuck up person.. and of cos.. i'm hurt because that fucker (i reali meant FUCKER) brought up my past wounds.. juz when i'm runnign far from it he brings it back into my face.. gd job larry.. u tink by doin these wil make me a better person? NO.. u're juz making hating guys more and more shutting more doors.. u always say u wil help me.. slowly bit by bit.. this is NOT helping.. dun say and do nothing bout it.. and dun say watever bullshit rainbow promises in the first place when u cant even keep them.. dun make empty promises.. dun make the world of ours sound so nice and crush it with ur own bloody temper..
from now on.. life for me is dance and studies.. lookin for a new bf? NO.. not at all now.. i Hate GUYS.. I HATE BASTARDS WHO CANT KEEP PROMISES.. i hate guys who're selfish.. vega's rite.. guys are bastards.. they call us sluts when they themselves make us one.. i didnt say he did call me or wat but i'm juz stating a general line.. i hate guys who treat us like gems at first and rubbish in the end.. i hate ppl who cant share my joy.. i hate ppl who hurt me.. i hate i hate and i hate.. i shall be single and love my mum.. no one loves me is ok.. i'm used to it.. and since he say til i'm such a lousy gf thn why shud i risk getting into another r/s? since he say i'm such a lousy stuck up person, why should i get close to anymore guys? since he keep tinking i wont change, why shud i try to change? i'll juz be me.. me me and me.. get out and get lost.. anyone tries to play ard with my tag one more time i wil totally shut myself off the world.. it's ok.. juz a password on my blog is fine.. i dun nid everyone to read my blog.. and get high and start creating trouble al over.. leave me alone bitches and bastards..
the last nice words from him that didnt came in time..
Hope when she reads this (if she ever reads my blog..), she would be reading with a very happy heart and the Champion Title..
Good luck, to her, and myself.
u dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me..
one last cry
after tonite, everythin wil be new, a new me, a new life..
seeking nothing but truth in life
get away if u're not true
dun come close for i bite
just a few thing i didnt have the time to use them or finish creating them.. this is a blog skin created but haven tyet used but it cant be use anymore..
and this is juz a "photo frame" which i did LONG ago but yet cant find any pic to fit into it.. oh well
the happy one last meal.. even thou i am angry.. stil i have to say.. these 4 months were great thou there's up and down.. stil i felt loved.. stil i once felt i was the happiest girl on earth.. stil.............
thank you
god bless..
11th november 2006
went for lush's step up comp finals at lido.. wohoo~ they got champion! XD expected from lush la wahaha~ *humblehumble* after that striahgt to esplanade for practise for chingay finals.. were slacking like MAD la -.- cos we were waiting for amshah and syam.. they reach at bout 11plus -.- so we juz slack abit, dance abit.. everything's well la..
practise officially starts at about 12 til 3plus.. tired sia.. but was much better thn the prelims' overnite session lol =X cos maybe we already got our steps done and somehow clean up le ma =) after that took NR home.. very long ride sia!!! walao ehh -.- wanted to slp on bus but scared overshot lol =X and i very selenge.. the NR got reach til my house downstairs directly thqt stop end up i alight at khatib mrt -.- walk so far sia rahh!
12th november 2006
chingay finals.. was a slackish day after all.. compare to the prelims.. we were much more slack, much more not prepared =X everything's in a rush lol =X lush/rush sound alike ehh?? =X everyone was late -.- me, vega, fil and ash was the earliest.. we went to eat thn go over le.. did our make up when the rest arrived at about 2plus.. late ehh?! rahh! nice make up we have XD blue glitter and light blue eye shadow.. white and blue "blingbling" costume lol =X
first time in my life i never tie hair or do anything to my hair for shows sia lol.. shiok lei actually.. but the stupid lipgloss ar.. rahh keep sticking the hair on -.- but shiok la hehe.. i dance til last song i "lao hong" lol =X no energy hahaha! but the comments were gd la.. other thn the energy thing =X we look synchronised even if there's 12 of us o the tiny stage -.- and the fast like mad running beats lol..
blockings were much better thn prelims (FOR SURE) lol =X definitely thou i lao hong at the last song, my energy improve.. cos prelims i lao hong at 3rd song lol =X the results were damn shocking and i purely believe it's plain bias.. but hor if bias thn lush wouldnt have gotten even top 3 le lei =\ dunno la.. but how can the results be liddat?!?! how can my dearest street soulz never get in?! how can NYP nv get in?! how can SFB never get in?!?!!?!?!? i dun understand man..
even the crowd response was damn funny lol =X and i heard someone from my ou xiang crew SS, telling kim that "i thot u al wil win sia!!!" lol =X so happy to hear from ppl i admire XD if onli can hear from gin ar i tell u.. i FAINT on the spot lol =X but stil, i'm very very happy i got lush.. even thou we're 3rd, lush had made me very happy today ^^ my first compw ith lush. a 3rd.. i muz work harder and better.. energy training, expression training, lines traning.. and most impt! JIANFEI!! lol =X
i'm stil very proud that lush manage to get 3rd.. at least a third.. some even tell us "u guys are the champs to us" haha so sweet ^^ but to me also.. lush is always the champions =) being sucha great dancer, yet a humble and nice fren.. how else more can i ask for? someone who cares for one another.. not onli in dance wise.. in personal health, personal emotions.. where else can u find al these?? i'm so lucky!!! XD
reali wanna thank lush for making my first comp a happy one.. ^^ thank hakim for the push.. thou mentally breakdown ar.. but yea it's a good one that push me to move on further.. thank dee, mel for encouraging me when i'm down.. thank emi, nikz for the consoling words, thank those who look down on me, saying i'm not fit to be in lush, not fit to be a dancer.. because of ur hurtful words, u've made me wanna improve more and show u wat a hardworkin but no talent person can do.. thank to my bf.. for being there..
speaking bout him.. he's not there today.. =( hais.. oh well.. wat else can i say? complain? forget it.. everyone ask me "where's larry" i feel like juz avoiding thid topic la.. i mean.. i'm sian enuff.. when he dun even believe we can win instead believing someone else can win.. he's usually not there for me when i got practises, he's not there for my finals.. i cant share my happiness with him.. al these.. i juz wish not to talk about it anymore la.. i dun blame him, i dun blame anyone.. juz can blame myself for being so suay lor.. some ppl even ask me "u al no more le ar?" haha.. we're stil tgt la.. but wat's the diff? i dun feel like a attached girl at all man.. except for having to tink of the other party blahh blahh blahh..
ah PMS's acting up guess i shud shut up and go.. dun wanna talk more bout it and turn my day from happy to fucking sian.. lalala.. nite
wat is it i'm feeling?
why shud i get jealous when seeing my frens and their bf?
why i feel no one shares my joy?
why is it that my own bf doesnt believe even in me?
why are we tgt then???
went for lush's step up comp finals at lido.. wohoo~ they got champion! XD expected from lush la wahaha~ *humblehumble* after that striahgt to esplanade for practise for chingay finals.. were slacking like MAD la -.- cos we were waiting for amshah and syam.. they reach at bout 11plus -.- so we juz slack abit, dance abit.. everything's well la..
practise officially starts at about 12 til 3plus.. tired sia.. but was much better thn the prelims' overnite session lol =X cos maybe we already got our steps done and somehow clean up le ma =) after that took NR home.. very long ride sia!!! walao ehh -.- wanted to slp on bus but scared overshot lol =X and i very selenge.. the NR got reach til my house downstairs directly thqt stop end up i alight at khatib mrt -.- walk so far sia rahh!
12th november 2006
chingay finals.. was a slackish day after all.. compare to the prelims.. we were much more slack, much more not prepared =X everything's in a rush lol =X lush/rush sound alike ehh?? =X everyone was late -.- me, vega, fil and ash was the earliest.. we went to eat thn go over le.. did our make up when the rest arrived at about 2plus.. late ehh?! rahh! nice make up we have XD blue glitter and light blue eye shadow.. white and blue "blingbling" costume lol =X
first time in my life i never tie hair or do anything to my hair for shows sia lol.. shiok lei actually.. but the stupid lipgloss ar.. rahh keep sticking the hair on -.- but shiok la hehe.. i dance til last song i "lao hong" lol =X no energy hahaha! but the comments were gd la.. other thn the energy thing =X we look synchronised even if there's 12 of us o the tiny stage -.- and the fast like mad running beats lol..
blockings were much better thn prelims (FOR SURE) lol =X definitely thou i lao hong at the last song, my energy improve.. cos prelims i lao hong at 3rd song lol =X the results were damn shocking and i purely believe it's plain bias.. but hor if bias thn lush wouldnt have gotten even top 3 le lei =\ dunno la.. but how can the results be liddat?!?! how can my dearest street soulz never get in?! how can NYP nv get in?! how can SFB never get in?!?!!?!?!? i dun understand man..
even the crowd response was damn funny lol =X and i heard someone from my ou xiang crew SS, telling kim that "i thot u al wil win sia!!!" lol =X so happy to hear from ppl i admire XD if onli can hear from gin ar i tell u.. i FAINT on the spot lol =X but stil, i'm very very happy i got lush.. even thou we're 3rd, lush had made me very happy today ^^ my first compw ith lush. a 3rd.. i muz work harder and better.. energy training, expression training, lines traning.. and most impt! JIANFEI!! lol =X
i'm stil very proud that lush manage to get 3rd.. at least a third.. some even tell us "u guys are the champs to us" haha so sweet ^^ but to me also.. lush is always the champions =) being sucha great dancer, yet a humble and nice fren.. how else more can i ask for? someone who cares for one another.. not onli in dance wise.. in personal health, personal emotions.. where else can u find al these?? i'm so lucky!!! XD
reali wanna thank lush for making my first comp a happy one.. ^^ thank hakim for the push.. thou mentally breakdown ar.. but yea it's a good one that push me to move on further.. thank dee, mel for encouraging me when i'm down.. thank emi, nikz for the consoling words, thank those who look down on me, saying i'm not fit to be in lush, not fit to be a dancer.. because of ur hurtful words, u've made me wanna improve more and show u wat a hardworkin but no talent person can do.. thank to my bf.. for being there..
speaking bout him.. he's not there today.. =( hais.. oh well.. wat else can i say? complain? forget it.. everyone ask me "where's larry" i feel like juz avoiding thid topic la.. i mean.. i'm sian enuff.. when he dun even believe we can win instead believing someone else can win.. he's usually not there for me when i got practises, he's not there for my finals.. i cant share my happiness with him.. al these.. i juz wish not to talk about it anymore la.. i dun blame him, i dun blame anyone.. juz can blame myself for being so suay lor.. some ppl even ask me "u al no more le ar?" haha.. we're stil tgt la.. but wat's the diff? i dun feel like a attached girl at all man.. except for having to tink of the other party blahh blahh blahh..
ah PMS's acting up guess i shud shut up and go.. dun wanna talk more bout it and turn my day from happy to fucking sian.. lalala.. nite
wat is it i'm feeling?
why shud i get jealous when seeing my frens and their bf?
why i feel no one shares my joy?
why is it that my own bf doesnt believe even in me?
why are we tgt then???
Saturday, November 11, 2006
stupid ISMAEL KHAN!!!! X(
rahh~ why i scold him?
iko: ehh mael.. later we meet for breakfast la wan? since we both not sleeping
mael: ok! wat u wan to eat?
iko: i feel like eating mac
mael: delifrance looks not bad.. the eggs..
iko: izit?! i like the tuna something one..
(continue with our cravings for the sandwiches)
mael: so wat time u wan to meet?
iko: hmm 8? thn slowly eat thn walk to sch at 8.30.. abit late nvm one
mael: ok! 8 at delifrance entrance..
iko: ok cya!
thn i go watch bleach to keep myself awake, and he go do his RJ..
at 7.30am...
iko (sms) : mael.. meet 8 rite? haha u awake hor? hehe.. cya..
the sms is juz to see if he reali is awake.. and yay.. i receive no reply.. -.- and yes! i got cheated to go sch -.- without any slp at all after practices.. rahh! in class, LUCKY math's prob not so hard.. arbo i definitely wil kill mael for sure @#$%^ ok after lesson, came home.. wanted to rest abit cos no slp and pms cramps =\ thn i lie down.. wheee! i'm in my dreamland paradise lol =X and when i wake up, my head spins like mad and tummy pain like F*** =X and yes.. i'm sick ZzZzZzzz.. of all times! grr.. my sunday comp ar!!! i need to practise man.. how to improve within such short time? i dun need to be like "WAH SHE DAMN ZAII" that kind.. but at least fit to be in lush yea? =( jiumng ar.. tml i'm gonna train like mad! i make sure i get the steps STUCK in my stupid mind and make sure the positions runs well and i swear i wont hit amshah again =X no no i swear i wont hit anyone again lol =X god bless me tml and sunday.. =( my ankle's getting painful again.. not as bad as that time but stil like wan cui liddat =( ash.. i'll need ur ankle guard again.. =D ok time to rest.. tml's lush step up finals! gambate!!!! me and emi wil be there to support man! gogogo lush! woohoo~
rahh~ why i scold him?
iko: ehh mael.. later we meet for breakfast la wan? since we both not sleeping
mael: ok! wat u wan to eat?
iko: i feel like eating mac
mael: delifrance looks not bad.. the eggs..
iko: izit?! i like the tuna something one..
(continue with our cravings for the sandwiches)
mael: so wat time u wan to meet?
iko: hmm 8? thn slowly eat thn walk to sch at 8.30.. abit late nvm one
mael: ok! 8 at delifrance entrance..
iko: ok cya!
thn i go watch bleach to keep myself awake, and he go do his RJ..
at 7.30am...
iko (sms) : mael.. meet 8 rite? haha u awake hor? hehe.. cya..
the sms is juz to see if he reali is awake.. and yay.. i receive no reply.. -.- and yes! i got cheated to go sch -.- without any slp at all after practices.. rahh! in class, LUCKY math's prob not so hard.. arbo i definitely wil kill mael for sure @#$%^ ok after lesson, came home.. wanted to rest abit cos no slp and pms cramps =\ thn i lie down.. wheee! i'm in my dreamland paradise lol =X and when i wake up, my head spins like mad and tummy pain like F*** =X and yes.. i'm sick ZzZzZzzz.. of all times! grr.. my sunday comp ar!!! i need to practise man.. how to improve within such short time? i dun need to be like "WAH SHE DAMN ZAII" that kind.. but at least fit to be in lush yea? =( jiumng ar.. tml i'm gonna train like mad! i make sure i get the steps STUCK in my stupid mind and make sure the positions runs well and i swear i wont hit amshah again =X no no i swear i wont hit anyone again lol =X god bless me tml and sunday.. =( my ankle's getting painful again.. not as bad as that time but stil like wan cui liddat =( ash.. i'll need ur ankle guard again.. =D ok time to rest.. tml's lush step up finals! gambate!!!! me and emi wil be there to support man! gogogo lush! woohoo~
Thursday, November 09, 2006
lush intensive training starts now! XD got a feeling i'm gonna get super tired after sunday =X wil get more thn enuff rest on sunday and monday man lol =X but wont skip class ba.. cos i must maintain my results =) no no..i mean pull my results higher lol =X i simple and nice 4th month we had today.. i like that thou.. it's much happier to see him didnt get unhappy or sian.. thn to go and eat those expensive fabulous food, spend lotsa money yet we both ended up sian/unhappy.. so i guess this is the best celebration =) thanks dear..
i wont forgive those who despise me
i wont forgive those that tries to bring me down
neither wil i forgive those who expect ppl to respect them when they dun respects us..
i wont forgive those who despise me
i wont forgive those that tries to bring me down
neither wil i forgive those who expect ppl to respect them when they dun respects us..
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
grr.. i seriously see no hope in my ig liao la =\ are they sure it's by VOTING?!?! my gosh.. i reali wonder whether they reali, truly noe wat's the strategy, basic, elements of dance.. hais.. onli hope that mr ewan wil come to our sch.. thqt's the ONLY way we can reali AT LEAST make things work for RP's most WONDERFUL dance grp -.- i dun even wan to go back now.. cos i learn NOTHING! ok maybe for bboys, bgirls wannabe it's a gd thing for our dearest ig to exist.. but wat about dancers?!?! there's no such thing as u can be a wonderful dancer AND bboy/bgirl.. not onli i say that.. many professionals has agreed with this point.. i mean ya who doesnt wan to be gd at both? but when u're gd at both.. wat does tat makes u? a BREAKDANCER! a word i hate the most =\ come on.. be a pure bboy/bgirl or a dancer.. dun be a breakdancer for heaven's sake.. it's the most despised thing in the scene.. contradicting ehh? when u're gd at both.. why is it that everyone hates that? jealousy? maybe.. but to me.. i prefer it to be pure.. respect each individual elements please.. dun try to be a hero and change the way it is.. it's call contminating! X( cant stand the fact.. that i'm actually in a place facing this kinda stuff.. aww.. breakdancer.. =\ i lvoe my ig yes.. i love the nice ppl there.. but al the methods is all wrong! i juz feel that the system is reali bringing shame upon ourselves -.- i dun skip ig practises cos i hate them. i dun skip ig cos i'm ashame to be in this not-so-famous dance grp.. but i left is cos i dun wanna be a breakdancer X( i dun wanna learn breaking! not cos i'm not interested.. but is cos i needa save al my muscle memory for dancing.. even since i starting breaking, my dance has gone way way down.. and many told me is cos my muscle cant adapt to both.. especially when i'm born not-a-dancer material.. if onli abang ewan wil be here.. i see him as the onli hope now.. but it seems slim.. cos the upper heads are not giving any response to him.. =\ when wil rp's dearest style methodz be recognised? as a dance crew i mean.. even if they were to be recognised as a bboying crew i wont mind.. but not a breakdance crew.. =\ ya those hidden SM supporters might tink "there she goes again.. looking down on SM.." but hello~ i tink i wont support things that are not breaking out of their shell.. keep stucking happily being famous in RP yet infamous in the big scene.. wat for?!?! somehow i wish i'm in FB now.. hais.. nvm.. be happy in lush and vip can le ba.. and hope SM wil "come to the light" soon~ =\
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
ok i was plain bored.. so i watched bleach haha.. and hor.. i like this guy lol~ his name is ishida.. not to the extend of "OMG ISHIDA!!! XD" but juz like la lol~ he's kinda sissy at first lei haha~ cos he's the kind top student.. hardly ppl wil even noe that's he actually exist in the class cos he's too quiet.. and also he's in ART AND CRAFT CLUB!!! lol! ok la.. not sissy.. in a nicer way is "gentle"man yea? =X
anyway today's a very weird day for me.. morning til around slightly before presentation in sch, i was super super enthu -.- i reali participate so much til "it's not me la" lol! but til presentation starts i abit nua liao.. hehe.. but i juz push la.. thn they ask question watever come to my mind i juz SHOOT! lol =X hopefully can anyhow turn a square to a circle ba =X actually got lush practiwe.. but i was sooooo tired til i reali CMI.. =X thn tapa told me the costume, vega's mum wil do for us.. omg.. so touched! even a parent is helping so much.. i tink i reali shud go for pratice le.. at least make the best out of myself even if that day i went to have aches al over, sprainmy ankle, broken hips.. blahh blahh.. juz do it man!!! woohoo~ XD
anyway many ppl's msn nick are rather emo recently.. =\ why ar?! there's "finding a place where i belong" there's "friends? they juz leave u when u need them the most" there's "death.." and of cos got me.. "God's asking me "when wil u come home?" =X ok i'm not being emo but i juz felt these are some "words" i "heard" or felt recently.. the home i mean is church la.. lol! my bf thot it's "come to the light" lollollol! laugh til die.. =X but seriously i needa go back church man.. but i no noe where to start =( back to YMM? to a new place? hais.. i cant easily fit into any church.. =\ somehow i'm attach to YMM for like sicne i was 10.. 9yrs le.. thou nv go for a long long time but it's stil my home church ma.. and it's my originall one and onli church.. it's not easy for me to break it out man =\ tried evangel with nic..
but erm.. i guess i'm not used to it ba =X hais.. how how how?! i'm like goin to the church i had at my home la -.- everyday listen to P&W song praying alone (not everyday).. hais.. i need to be a healthier christian man =\ ok i tink i'm kinda talking alot here le lol.. yes! o lvl's ending REAL SOON!!! XD EMILIA CHONG HUILING!!!!! come back here u biatch! lol i miss u =(
anyway today's a very weird day for me.. morning til around slightly before presentation in sch, i was super super enthu -.- i reali participate so much til "it's not me la" lol! but til presentation starts i abit nua liao.. hehe.. but i juz push la.. thn they ask question watever come to my mind i juz SHOOT! lol =X hopefully can anyhow turn a square to a circle ba =X actually got lush practiwe.. but i was sooooo tired til i reali CMI.. =X thn tapa told me the costume, vega's mum wil do for us.. omg.. so touched! even a parent is helping so much.. i tink i reali shud go for pratice le.. at least make the best out of myself even if that day i went to have aches al over, sprainmy ankle, broken hips.. blahh blahh.. juz do it man!!! woohoo~ XD
anyway many ppl's msn nick are rather emo recently.. =\ why ar?! there's "finding a place where i belong" there's "friends? they juz leave u when u need them the most" there's "death.." and of cos got me.. "God's asking me "when wil u come home?" =X ok i'm not being emo but i juz felt these are some "words" i "heard" or felt recently.. the home i mean is church la.. lol! my bf thot it's "come to the light" lollollol! laugh til die.. =X but seriously i needa go back church man.. but i no noe where to start =( back to YMM? to a new place? hais.. i cant easily fit into any church.. =\ somehow i'm attach to YMM for like sicne i was 10.. 9yrs le.. thou nv go for a long long time but it's stil my home church ma.. and it's my originall one and onli church.. it's not easy for me to break it out man =\ tried evangel with nic..
but erm.. i guess i'm not used to it ba =X hais.. how how how?! i'm like goin to the church i had at my home la -.- everyday listen to P&W song praying alone (not everyday).. hais.. i need to be a healthier christian man =\ ok i tink i'm kinda talking alot here le lol.. yes! o lvl's ending REAL SOON!!! XD EMILIA CHONG HUILING!!!!! come back here u biatch! lol i miss u =(
Sunday, November 05, 2006
my dear complain that i didnt update my blog lol~ so here i am to blog =) anyway this 2 days i slack at home so no diff from bloggin ornt.. patch things up with the guys and ya ineed msn kills -.- msn alos made us misunderstood each other.. nabei.. suddenly i wish to go back to those days without computer.. but nah i dun wanna go back cos i wil start complaining about no com la.. i wan use net la blahh blahh blahh~
heard from my jiemei nikz.. that we got chingay workshop after 12th.. omg izit?! jiuming ar.. i can sense it's gonna be a busy month for me lol~ no.. busy few months~ cos if i not wrong we'll have to perform for the actual chingay itself which is in feb -.-
oh and lush is goin out for hari raya on 18th ^^ guess it's gonna be fun man.. we're gonna dress up like them and TRY to be like them haha~ it's a gd and fun way of learning one another's culture yea? guess my culture faci will be damn happy if she noes this.. but nah she's not gonna noe lol~ we're gonna find black baju man.. HOW TO FIND?!?! X( my malay frens are damn limited la.. zzzzzzz
gotten my deathnote anime ep 1-4 down on dvd le.. so shiok la.. watch al at one go XD and am gonna convert my Stand up! into smaller files thn can burn.. sian -.- thn after that, my com wil have much more space le! whee!!! XD found the show that mummy's looking for as well.. haha.. gd la.. but hopefully someone wil seed it.. if not tink no nid to dl le -.- and chewing on the chewy gum which dear bought for me ^^ been chewing on it for very long le.. lol~ siao liao..
oh ya.. and my lappie's very retarded recently.. my msn is damn lag and my internet sometimes cant even open a page.. sickening la.. rahh~ ok i go sian le.. lol~ gd nite!
i wish this period of busy schedule of him wil pass faster..
missing those days we were out on date..
missing those days where we go slack in town..
missing every moment with him..
missing u..
heard from my jiemei nikz.. that we got chingay workshop after 12th.. omg izit?! jiuming ar.. i can sense it's gonna be a busy month for me lol~ no.. busy few months~ cos if i not wrong we'll have to perform for the actual chingay itself which is in feb -.-
oh and lush is goin out for hari raya on 18th ^^ guess it's gonna be fun man.. we're gonna dress up like them and TRY to be like them haha~ it's a gd and fun way of learning one another's culture yea? guess my culture faci will be damn happy if she noes this.. but nah she's not gonna noe lol~ we're gonna find black baju man.. HOW TO FIND?!?! X( my malay frens are damn limited la.. zzzzzzz
gotten my deathnote anime ep 1-4 down on dvd le.. so shiok la.. watch al at one go XD and am gonna convert my Stand up! into smaller files thn can burn.. sian -.- thn after that, my com wil have much more space le! whee!!! XD found the show that mummy's looking for as well.. haha.. gd la.. but hopefully someone wil seed it.. if not tink no nid to dl le -.- and chewing on the chewy gum which dear bought for me ^^ been chewing on it for very long le.. lol~ siao liao..
oh ya.. and my lappie's very retarded recently.. my msn is damn lag and my internet sometimes cant even open a page.. sickening la.. rahh~ ok i go sian le.. lol~ gd nite!
i wish this period of busy schedule of him wil pass faster..
missing those days we were out on date..
missing those days where we go slack in town..
missing every moment with him..
missing u..
Thursday, November 02, 2006
taken granted once again.. ha.. how nice.. not once not twice.. but umpteen times.. why is it that always when i'm helping someone, when the person needs help.. thn they'll come "iko.. can help me..." but when i'm not needed, not even a sms nor call.. let alone msn.. are humans reali so selfish? self centered? where's all the true frenship? they're onli seen truly when one met with danger isnt it? when al my frens met with danger, i'm always there.. when they needed help.. i'm always there.. but when i met with danger.. who's there for me?
isnt frenship a two way thing? but why am i facing it alone now? i am no dogs trying to tag along it's owner.. i am no charity machines to help u with ur chores.. i am a human.. with flesh and blood and feelings.. i need frens too.. not onli anyone of u out there.. i need true frens.. ppl who understand me and protects me as a true frens.. not those with fake lips fake words.. fake smile and fake intentions.. why do i feel lonely? why do i feel frenless? parts and parcel of life? i guess..
seeing people giving up on themselves yet i cant do anything is the worst.. the end of the world is when i myself dunno how to communicate the message to them.. i'm bad at words.. i noe.. and i'm bad at controlling my temper.. especially with ppl who dunno how to control theirs.. am i sure i wanna be a instructor one day? pastor cecil says God's plan for me has something to do with the children ministry.. can i do that? am i fit for it? i doubt so.. i cant even help ppl ard me.. how am i to be able to help ppl whom i'm not related to?
i've always felt taken granted when helping these guys.. i noe this day wil come.. either they give up on themselves or me giving up due to miscommunication.. i knew it and i expected it.. but why am i so foolish to continue throwing myself deeper? continue helping them? why am i always so stupid? and why the fuck is this enthusiasm in me in helping ppl? what's so gd about helping others? what benefit do i get? nothing.. even the frenship is fake.. do they befriend me because of my network of frens? because of my ability to bring them intot he scene? thn.. wat's the point of me being a fren that helps?
seeing them being so slack worries me alot.. because i "manages" them.. but wat can i do? it's their life.. they decides.. i shouldnt even have ask them to join watever comps.. i shouldnt even have helped in the first place.. quarrelling with my bf so many times over them? what's the point? what's the point of me getting sad and emo over this when they themselves are hack caring? and even someone being so childish? hais.. it's ok.. treat it as a burden down.. one climbs higher after a fall yea? ppl who took me granted.. wil have their time one day too..
getting damn emotional recently..
wat's wrong with me?
hais..
isnt frenship a two way thing? but why am i facing it alone now? i am no dogs trying to tag along it's owner.. i am no charity machines to help u with ur chores.. i am a human.. with flesh and blood and feelings.. i need frens too.. not onli anyone of u out there.. i need true frens.. ppl who understand me and protects me as a true frens.. not those with fake lips fake words.. fake smile and fake intentions.. why do i feel lonely? why do i feel frenless? parts and parcel of life? i guess..
seeing people giving up on themselves yet i cant do anything is the worst.. the end of the world is when i myself dunno how to communicate the message to them.. i'm bad at words.. i noe.. and i'm bad at controlling my temper.. especially with ppl who dunno how to control theirs.. am i sure i wanna be a instructor one day? pastor cecil says God's plan for me has something to do with the children ministry.. can i do that? am i fit for it? i doubt so.. i cant even help ppl ard me.. how am i to be able to help ppl whom i'm not related to?
i've always felt taken granted when helping these guys.. i noe this day wil come.. either they give up on themselves or me giving up due to miscommunication.. i knew it and i expected it.. but why am i so foolish to continue throwing myself deeper? continue helping them? why am i always so stupid? and why the fuck is this enthusiasm in me in helping ppl? what's so gd about helping others? what benefit do i get? nothing.. even the frenship is fake.. do they befriend me because of my network of frens? because of my ability to bring them intot he scene? thn.. wat's the point of me being a fren that helps?
seeing them being so slack worries me alot.. because i "manages" them.. but wat can i do? it's their life.. they decides.. i shouldnt even have ask them to join watever comps.. i shouldnt even have helped in the first place.. quarrelling with my bf so many times over them? what's the point? what's the point of me getting sad and emo over this when they themselves are hack caring? and even someone being so childish? hais.. it's ok.. treat it as a burden down.. one climbs higher after a fall yea? ppl who took me granted.. wil have their time one day too..
getting damn emotional recently..
wat's wrong with me?
hais..
A dandelion is a weed. It is a pretty weed.
People don’t like to have weeds in their garden, no matter how pretty the weeds are. People trample on the weeds they encounter sprawling in their paths. People normally get to appreciate a dandelion when they realize that it can be blown after they make their wishes on it. They think, eventually they will get their wishes as soon as the remnant of the flower reaches the sky. Then, they forget about the pretty weed as if it never existed.
As the dandelion gets carried off by the wind, it says a prayer only God can hear.“Lord Almighty, please let me reach the heavens so as to fulfil the wish cast upon me. Make your angels let me glide along their wings for I am too weak to fly alone. Please tell a cloud to transport me in Your arms for by that time I get too high, I might be too tired to carry on. When I reach You, Father God, only then I am certain I could die in perpetual bliss.”
A beautiful article which i happen to come by while doing research on dandelion.. i somehow feel it's not as lowly as a weed.. but neither is it a flower nor a grass.. that's y i had a hard time finding it.. anyway it's a weed... but God has seen and understand it's "suffering" of being dislike by humans, God gave it beautiful yellow petals and even after death, it became a "wish making" plant.. it is rumoured that when u blow off the wilted dandelion's fluff after making a wish, when it reaches the sky, the angels will receive them and it will come true..
what a beautiful tale for huma to accept dandelion ehh? but sadly.. like the article says.. soon, humans will then forget the existence of dandelion.. anyway, i've found this another article as well on a christian webby.. i will paste some parts here while if u guys wan can go check it out yea? =) it's a beautiful piece of writing..
Dandelions are no respecter of persons. They adorn the yards of the rich and show their yellow glory around the hovels of the poor. They delight to grow in the cemetery or in the garden of the Prince. They flourish in the woods where no one can observe them, or they show their smiling faces right near your front steps though they certainly will be dug up at the first opportunity. How persistent they are. How quickly they develop. They are up in the morning before you are. They blossom and go to seed and seed your neighbor's lawn while you are trying to make up your mind whether to dig them out yourself or hire someone else to do it. They are the first to bloom in the Spring and the last to be discouraged in the Fall.
If the grass in your front yard is two inches high the dandelion will grow three inches. If you should neglect to cut the lawn and the grass grows five inches long the dandelion will grow six inches high and smile at the sun. If you should be on a vacation and the grass should grow ten inches long, then that persistent, "not to be whipped" dandelion will grow eleven inches tall and stick up its nose at the passing throng. It simply will not be downed. It rises above "its circumstances." It will not be outdone by its neighbors. It has an ambition to get somewhere and it gets.
The dandelion is not easily discouraged. It does not wilt with sorrow because it has to bloom behind the barn. It does not hide its face with shame because it cannot be on the front lawn of the courthouse. It does the bidding of its Maker happily and beautifully, whether it is in an obscure place or in a very prominent garden.
http://www.wholesomewords.org/etexts/wilson/strang01.html
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
HELEN THE BABY FOX!
i can onli say i give FULL marks to this show!!! after quill and windstruck, i've NEVER cried so badly for any show.. omg la! it's damn touching! it's about this lil boy who meet this baby fox.. and the worst thing is, the fox had brain damage due to unknown reason.. no one can cures her.. not even vet from some university..
the fox cant see, cant hear, cant smell and cant call out.. but the lil boy didnt give up on her and kept believing in her and helped her.. and alot alot came la.. it's juz fucking touching and teaches one not to give up no matter wat happens.. the sad thing is helen died =( she survived only 3 weeks after the lil boy found her..
i cried like mad i can say.. and now my eyes totally swollen -.- thanks my dear for buying me the vcd XD *muack* it's a show i'll never regret searching til i die for lol =X all animals lovers Must WATCH!!!! the storyline is better thn quill.. but the touching parts is about the same la.. it's just TOUCHING!!! and sad.. =( omg i tink i better go slp soon lol =X i'm beginning to go maad over helen le lol =X gd nite!
i can onli say i give FULL marks to this show!!! after quill and windstruck, i've NEVER cried so badly for any show.. omg la! it's damn touching! it's about this lil boy who meet this baby fox.. and the worst thing is, the fox had brain damage due to unknown reason.. no one can cures her.. not even vet from some university..
the fox cant see, cant hear, cant smell and cant call out.. but the lil boy didnt give up on her and kept believing in her and helped her.. and alot alot came la.. it's juz fucking touching and teaches one not to give up no matter wat happens.. the sad thing is helen died =( she survived only 3 weeks after the lil boy found her..
i cried like mad i can say.. and now my eyes totally swollen -.- thanks my dear for buying me the vcd XD *muack* it's a show i'll never regret searching til i die for lol =X all animals lovers Must WATCH!!!! the storyline is better thn quill.. but the touching parts is about the same la.. it's just TOUCHING!!! and sad.. =( omg i tink i better go slp soon lol =X i'm beginning to go maad over helen le lol =X gd nite!
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