one thing i dun like about alcohol is it makes me think alot alot alot more thn wat i should think of =\ sigh~ just heard some stuffs and i swear i dun feel good at all :( but anyway from the very beginning i noe i shouldnt even fall into this thing.. i noe perfectly well this is NOT right.. so i should be prepared for anything that comes after that.. well.. ya i'm prepared i guess =\ but does it have to be THIS painful? :( perhaps it's good to be directly straight in my face right deep into my heart thn i'll let go faster? oh well.. succeeded thn =\ sigh~ all the waits.. all the i-dun-dare-to-sleep nights.. all the i-miss-you nights.. all the hanging on yet holding back nights.. guess i have to put it to an end before i reali becomes a zombie.. guess i have to lock myself up again to wake my bloody self up again.. i'm stupid am i? ha~ oh well.. life goes on :) dun ask me if u're confuse reading this because i myself am flooded with too much thots and am sprouting rubbish here i guess.. oh well.. gd nite..

enough tears shed..
enough confused thots..
enough of me being a idiot..
jiayou :)

omg la.. recently i tink i'm having emotional break downs T.T came across this video in facebook.. it's about relationship as well.. but not BGR.. it's more of a relationship between a dad and a daughter.. i hated my dad.. and i believe it takes a miracle for me to forgive him.. but i teared so badly when i heard this song and watch the vid.. sigh~ i too wish my dad could be the one who pass me to my husband in the future.. sigh~ i miss those days when i still have a perfect home :( oh well.. here's the vid and lyrics..



Daddy, You can let go now - Crystal shawanda

Wind blowing on my face
Sidewalk flying beneath my bike
A five year olds first taste
Of what freedom's really like
He was running right beside me
His hand holding on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

"You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Oh I think I'm ready to do this on my own
It's still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go"

I was standing at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I've been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked
"Who gives this woman?"
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears
He kept holding tightly to my arm
'Til I whispered in his ear:

"You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Oh I think I'm ready to do this on my own
It's still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go"

It was killing me
To see the strongest man I ever knew
Wasting away to nothing in that hospital room
"You know he's only hanging on for you"
That's what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breaking
As I crawled up in his bed and said:

You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready to do this on my own
Its gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go
You can let go

i wish to forgive..

got this wonderful link on facebook.. it's a song i wanna share here.. truly touched my heart and cried like nobody's business T.T guess this is a true story.. the story's below, i'll translate it in english too :) too wonderful T.T



Lyrics - 最后一次 (Last time) the "last" here means final.. not the past ok

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
Before i close my eyes for the last time
我想对你说我爱你
I wish to tell you I love you
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
In your arms, cant bear to give up
心里有千万语还没说给你听
Millions of words in my heart, unsaid to you
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
I use all my strength, doesnt wish to close my eyes
这次告别就不能再相遇
After this goodbye, never will we meet again
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
I cant be with you any longer, but do not forget
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
You promised you'll continue leading your life..

先走了 去了好远的地方
I'd leave first, to a faraway place
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
No longer can i watch the sunrise with you, cant wait for daybreak
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
All the memories, erased, but it's not easy
生死由天决定 不要太伤心
Life and death are destined, don't be too sad
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
Before i close my eyes for the last time
我想对你说我爱你
I wish to tell you I love you
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
In your arms, cant bear to give up
心里有千万语还没说给你听
Millions of words in my heart, unsaid to you
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
I use all my strength, doesnt wish to close my eyes
这次告别就不能再相遇
After this goodbye, never will we meet again
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
I cant be with you any longer, but do not forget
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
You promised you'll continue leading your life..

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
Before i close my eyes for the last time
我想对你说我爱你
I wish to tell you I love you
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
In your arms, cant bear to give up
心里有千万语还没说给你听
Millions of words in my heart, unsaid to you
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
I use all my strength, doesnt wish to close my eyes
这次告别就不能再相遇
After this goodbye, never will we meet again
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
I cant be with you any longer, but do not forget
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
You promised you'll continue leading your life..
我 永远 爱你。
I'd love you forever..


关于【lavigne 最后一次】背后故事 The Story Behind this song~

有一对感情非常好的小情侣
双方家长都非常满意对方
准备大学毕业就结婚

正当高三开学不久
学校体检
检查出那个女孩的血蛋白有异常
之后去医院检查
查出她患了一种非常罕见的隐形皮肤遗传病
这种病越严重皮肤就越嫰

就像宝宝皮肤一样
最后会因为皮肤太嫰
承受不了肌肉和血管的内压而撑裂

虽然不能医治
但那个男孩和双方家长
都要求那个女孩住院
就算不能医治也要尽量活长一点

当医生确定女孩还有不到一年的生命的时候
那个女孩好像抛开所有的恐惧似的
不再把自己关在病房里不见人
而是天天都和那个男孩和家人出去散散步看看日出日落
也就在那时她开始写日记
努力的记录已成过去的日子与所剩无几的时间

当那个女孩再写到某一次和那个男出去的时候
女孩才发觉
笔下的文字
绝大多都是她和那个男孩一起经历的事
那个男孩已经成为自己不可缺少的一部分
于是那个女孩决定留下一份礼物给那个男孩
荆莿鸟的绝唱

若干星期过去
曲作好词填好
就找朋友帮忙语录歌
已经病入膏盲的女孩
喉咙的皮肤用大力一点就会出血
但都坚持要自己唱

当U盘出来之后
那个女孩竟然要求安乐死
还说一开始就打算这么做
而且和那个男孩说要陪着她到她睡着
还说要在临睡前对那个男孩说一句话
手术关灯熄灭之后
那个男孩出来
那个女孩的妈妈把U盘给了那个男孩
那个男孩听完之后
和他妈妈说
女孩最后对他说的是：
在也不要看日出了

不过我不怕
因为是你陪着我睡着......
我爱你

因为那个女孩最喜欢就是看日出了
所以那个男孩决定要走遍可以到的地方
将每一个地方的日出都送给那个女孩

2008年年头
那个男孩在一次上山的照日出的时候
失足堕山
被人发现的时候尸体已经腐烂不堪
然而相片里面
朝阳的霞红依然充满温馨

有人说是
当时这个女生得了重病
这首歌是要给她男朋友

也有人说是
这首歌是讲述那女孩子被抛弃
在自杀前写的一首歌

也有人说是
那女生得了癌症
因为她的男友喜欢听歌和创作
在他走之前想写下一首歌
让他男友留念

也有人说是
他和他的男友很相爱
可是不幸男的生了重病
然后那位女的变写了这首歌给他
过后写了之后男的去世了
女的也跟着自杀

不过唯一能肯定的是
那女孩真的去世了


There's a very loving couple, whose both parents are very satisfied with one another, they're preparing to get married after graduating from university.

During the body check up in their 3rd year of studying, they found out that there's the girl had unusal amount of protein in her blood. She than went to the hospital for a check up and she was found suffering from a rare genetic disease - stealth skin. Her skin will slowly become very tender as the severity of the disease got worst.

It'll be just like a baby's skin, but in the end it'll be too tender to be able to support the muscles and pressure of the blood vessels.

Thou it could not be cured, the boy and the families of both, wanted the girl to stay in the hospital to prolong her life.

When the doctor confirmed that the girl had only about 1year's lifespan left, the girl seem to throw all her fears away and stop locking herself up in the room. She spent every single day with the boy and the families, out for walk, looking at sun rise and sunsets. She started writing diary to record everyday she had that will eventually pass, every single moment.

Just when she was penning down one of the times when she went out with the guy, she realised that under that pen, mostly was about she and him. She realised the guy had already became a part of her, a part that she couldn't live without. So she decided to leave a gift for him - this song.

Few weeks passed, the melody and lyrics are all done. So she got her friends to help with the recording. At this point she was already very ill, to the extent whereby the skin on her throat will bleed everytime she uses too much strength on her throat. But she still insist to sing this song all by herself.

When the song was done, the girl requested to be put to sleep. She even said she had this in mind since the beginning. She too told the guy that she wants him to be with her til she falls asleep and she had something to say to the guy before she sleep.

After the lights of the surgery went off, the guy left the room. The mother of the girl passes the song to him and after hearing it, he told her mum that she said "Don't ever see the sunrise again. But i'm not afraid, because u're with me when i go to sleep.. i love you"

Because the girl loves to see sunrise, so the guy decided that he will go to everywhere he can to gift sunrise to her.

In the beginning of 2008, The guy died as he fell while goin up a mountain to take pictures of the sunrise. When he was discovered, his body had already decomposed. But in the picture that he took, still contains the warmth of the red sun.

There are many different stories regarding this song. but the only thing that can be confirmed is that the writer of this song, is dead.. and she died when she was 17..

LOL was dead boring here at work so was doin some of the quiz on fb and LOL this 2 made me smile =x pictures are edited to cover the mr someone =p



both also 88% but both are different application :D

attended jie's ROM at mono ytd awwwwwwww so sweet la~ XD i wanna get married! LOL =x it's my first time witnessing a ROM and it's a reali special one at mono ok! lol~ ppl goes ard asking one another "when ur turn?" and nabeis~ it's a insult to ask me when i'm not even attach can T.T saw a few old frens and omg all reali old liao x.x when i noe this bunch i was 18? lol~ wonder who's next for it lol~ ytd was a crazy nite at st james x.x rena n frens were at fly, jie and bunch also at fly but another table, haru they all at boiler, sii at powerhouse lol~ running ge tai~ xD didnt get drunk but ultra high.. ended up ran up to mono to hide with zenn they all lol =x am super super tired now~ bored at work so came to write nonsense here hehe~ after the ROM makes me wanna fall in love again~ lol! =x but i noe the timing's not right ba.. everyone's attach!! T.T me and angela are complainin bout being in the singles' club lol~! nvm i shall hold the status of the president in the club thn ~.~ ok blog again when i'm bored~

rahh~ i'm soooooooooo missing him now :S

i did a test on facebook and i seriously tink this is freaky it's almost 100% hit the bull's eye LOL~ except a few thou..

Dear Ryuiko Michya, The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows:

You are walking in the woods with Mr C. Mr C is the most important person in your life.
(i doubt he is the most important =.= it's just at the moment he is)

You see a rabbit. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.
(LOL! i always dun see the urgent-ness of problems do i? =x i totally agree with this la!)

You stroke it´s head. with the animal? The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passively/aggressively)
(does this means i'm on the passive side? i'm gentle afterall aint i? muehehehe)

You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. It is a mid size cottage. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.
(i'm not a greedy person ^^ but of cos i'd wanna lead a average life or slightly above average la)

Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? You answered no. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You´d prefer people not to drop by unannounced.
(this is just so true~ who disagree?! come talk to me *i'll bite*)

You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. Chairs and flowers on table are on and around the table. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.
(so means im generally happy? since i got flowers?)

You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. The cup is made of glass. . The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with Mr C. For example, styrafoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.
(ERMMMMM~ not durable? LOL ok so it's best not to step in it ehh?)

You pick it up. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards Mr C.
(i pick him up?! wth?!)

fun! LOL~~~ if u wanna noe who's Mr C, ask me personally =p NOT everyone will get the answer thou lalala~