WHY?!

ahh.. been so long since i hit the buttons here :x hehe.. life has been a big roller coaster for me recently.. yr 2010 ended peacefully for me thou. wanted to party but couldnt reali get into the mood =\ on the very last day of 2010 i decided to let go of someone which i held too tightly on. afterall.. it's pointless to hold on anymore isnt it? i admit i do still misses him.. but well.. the him that i miss was someone in the past alr. he's no longer mine and no longer give a damn about my life. it's actually amazing how someone can love one so much and thn changed in one nite. this is one thing i'll never understand i guess.. but also thanks to his heartlessness, i met my love.. yea i noe i kinda sound like a bitch who can let go of a old r/s and get into a new one so soon.. a new chapter begins unknowingly and it was indeed a big surprise for me. i admit this r/s is a "too-fast-too-furious" r/s.. me n baby onli known each other for about a week or so and there we are, walking down the path of being "us" :) for the first few days, i did doubt the whole r/s was a mistake. i did tink of "aiya just play along la". but now, i'm pretty sure that i truly love him. in fact, i was shock.. he made me ignore Mr J's call. baby took away memories of "him". baby amazingly made me willing to truly love unconditionally once again. but this 2 weeks of being tgt, was reali a terrible ride for me =\ waking up to see another girl msging him "dear and muacks". goin out to drink knowing that the entire nite i'm hearing his ex gf's name. knowing that he got drunk and spill "i made the wrong choice" to someone he fell for before me. i thot i was strong enough to handle the first 2. althou i was seriously struggling with myself.. but i just wanted to make this r/s work.. i told myself and even told baby that i would act blind and deaf and just tink that i'm his one and onli one =\ well.. i guess i reached my limit when the 3rd incident happened =\ i burst out last nite. i let out all my emotions and cried terribly. but i'm glad baby did not choose to run.. we talked about all issues and i'm very very touched and glad when baby showed me wat he sent to them stating that he made his choice on me. i stopped crying and thn continued with tears of joy.. it meant so damn much to me. i was actually prepared for a negative outcome the moment i chose to confront him =\ i was prepared to let him fly. to let him go.. but he turned my world ard with his response :) althou one of the girl is seriously making me very very pissed off. but i told myself i dun wan to hate ppl. i do not wan to allow myself to turn love into hate. i just wan our r/s to stay pure. i do not wan any regrets. i'm stil trying to control thou =\ i dun hate the other girls. truthfully.. they're great girls and very very nice ppl. just that bitch alone. got bf alr stil wan underground with someone attached. fking throw girls pride and face. grr! >< i just hope baby's stand would be firm and hope everything he did is not just "for show". i know it's gonna take sometime for me to trust baby again. and it's gonna take sometime for my ache to go away. but i'm willing to go through it. i do not wanna let go without even trying anymore. i wanna make this r/s last. infact i wanna make this r/s my very last. thou it's stil early to judge.. but it's reali been so long since i last felt this way and willing to love unconditionally again. baby's not perfect.. infact if were to compare, alot other guys are better. but it's just magical when love happens isnt it? :) in my eyes, he's good enough. lets hope he wont let me down :)

it's the first time i'm holding onto a r/s so tightly despite he betrayed me.
will true love overcome betrayal?
will true love touched one's heart?
does true love even exist?

watever it is, baby iloveu :) and a huge thank you for making me ur choice *loves*