wah i tink i reali have a lil bit of problem with myself here =\ it's like.. i cant seem to understand myself sometimes u noe.. =\ my actions.. my mentality.. my words.. my everythin! i'm like always saying this yet doin that.. it's like.. everytime i say i wanna be carefree.. as carefree as i can be.. but seriously i'm not making tat happen =
i spoke to "someone" one of my ranting person la.. haha.. he say i take things very hard.. it's like i look at things very seriously.. =\ ya actually i do =\ i'm actually the kins of person that look at things very very seriously.. =\ tat's y sometimes i reali envy those ppl who can be so relax in doin things.. and i wish to be like them =( i onli noe how to SAY "stress for wat? wat's meant to be is meant to be" but thn my ACTIONS dun support that at all! =(
i hope i can reali grow to be a person that can take things easy one =\ hais.. was lookin for ppl for me to rant to online.. lucky my ranting partner online at the rite timing.. =) if nt tink i wil juz go mad and break down =( i guess he's rite la.. i'm too serious in lookin at things and yet i didnt realise..
oh well.. i wil try to change yea? =) speakin about this reminds me of erm.. the special "them" =\ remember one of them always say me "why u wan take it so seriously? blah blah blah" wat she meant was cos i wil tend to be sadover lil lil things la.. now i look back ya indeed i was overboard =\ well at least i change =) guess every fall juz makes us stronger ba =)
now my lesson to learn is to "DUN BE SOOOO SERIOUS LA!" =) haha.. i'm so sian sia.. it's like.. moodless for everythin =\ yucks.. i hate this feeling.. i aint feeling sad.. i aint feeling angry.. nothin.. it's juz nothin! so weird one.. =\ this feeling is one of the suckiest i guess! =\ it's like at least when u sad u can cry.. when u angry u can @#$%^&* to ppl.. when u happy u can laugh.. but thn now i feel NOTHIN! =
jiuming ar..! juz now was listening to stupid papa give me the song "cai hong tian tang" and found this part of the lyrics i love alot! it goes like this.. ok i put it in a picture form cos cannot type chinese here.. so this is it..
the red star part somehow hit on my feelings now =\ it's like.. "cant find the direction.. towards the rainbow paradise" like i said.. i felt very.. hmm lost? i guess that's the word ba.. =\ it's like.. i seems to dunno myself alot.. =\ this song hit that part.. =\
and the blue stars is wat i reali reali reali wil wan in life man!!!! "2person taking care and lookin after each other til the hair turns grey, and soar freely in the galaxy.." OMG LA!!! GALAXY!!!!! *faint* seeing stars juz calms me.. but tonite no stars =( so sad.. hais.. juz when i needed u most.. u're not ther! =( i wanna see stars! i wanna see shooting star!! =(
hais.. emo emo emo.. NNH! E sai la! bleahhhhhhhhh~ i go koon le.. very sian liao.. tink if i continue blog m blog wil nv end.. cos i'm startin to type nonsense liao =\ one last thing.. the thot of sch reopen suddenly suck to the core =\ yucks! gd nite everyone.. *hugs*
wil u bring me to the rainbow with promises?
wil u stay by my side and watch the stars with me?
wil things be as beautiful as they were painted?
*lotsa misses for him at this point of time.. =(