Melody of my Life..

am i too unreasonable? =\ hais.. i juz wish he has more time.. maybe if there's a possibility, i'll wish to transfer 1/2 of my time to him.. =( so that i can have lesser time to suffer this suffering and he'll have more time to be with me.. hais.. but tha's impossible.. i juz.. simply hate this.. no time no time.. damn the fucking no time..

hais.. nothin i can do.. like he say "bobian" well bobian lor.. wat else can i say? it's not i'm not saying things.. it's reali NOTHING i can say.. hais.. i tink i wil juz save up money, get myself a pet, get myself more frens and go out shopping with me.. or shud i.. ok nvm.. no point talking nonsense at this time..

seriously if i had noe it this way.. i wouldnt have step into this.. i'm not regretting loving him.. but it's juz.. i'm the kinda girl that need ALOT of companion from my bf.. i admit sometimes i get overboard.. and some ppl might even think "wtf is wrong with you?! why so sticky?" i noe it might not be something big for some of u.. but to me it is somwthing big.. haiz..

nvm me.. i juz need a space to rant again.. my precious blog.. i love my blog.. maybe i shud change a skin soon? so i wont feel sian lookin at it with the pic of both of us.. looking at them hurts me.. =( i juz cant imagine we can have so much time for each other in the past.. but not now.. blame the proj? blame his occupation? blame my own loneliness? i dun care.. no use blamin anyone or anything..

hais.. i juz receive this email from my fren.. and i tink it's scarily true.. and i hate to know this fact.. hais.. here it goes.. anyway i'll highlight red the part i tink applies.. and purple for my own comments..

AQUARIUS MAN
Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it's outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be "patient", even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won't be with him for long.

the last sentence is scary =\ cos i reali dunno how long more i can tahan.. =(

A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with "Love". He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy.

He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty.

Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance.

Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his "Work", or "Love". He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior. He like to be the first person to do something.

the part i highlighted.. i tink tat's y he like me?

You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will act as if he never has love like this before. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could fall in love again with another girl and act again like he never has this kind of love before.He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is "excitement" and "Love goes on".

chase him away? i hope that wil not happen.. i wont blame him but i'll show.. hais..

If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure.

If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends. Don't ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.

i'm definitely not a gd follower.. =\

i tink i'm reali super super sian now.. =( tml.. hais.. juz another day.. wat's so special of my everyday? thot after being attach my days would be so much better.. with lil surprises here and there.. lil sweetness here and there.. but no.. i'm wrong.. again.. =( maybe it's not time for him to get a gd.. or is it that he and me.. got tgt at the wrong time of each other's life?

i'm stil in the "i need my bf to be with me and play and play.." but he's at the "i need to work and earn money" stage of life.. hais.. =( god.. pls dun tell me this is yet again another "right guy wrong time" incident again ok.. it's reali scary.. i am happy i got a bf.. and i'm happy it's him.. but i'm seriously not happ with the way we are being tgt.. =( i seriously am not.. i tink this point he also noe la.. no nid me to say also noe.. noeing i'm so sian about his "no time lei" "busy lei".. wat else can i be other thn sian..

here's a song.. if onli i can look at things as nicely as the lyrics goes.. =
Here in my heart - plus one
Wherever you are tonight girl
I'll see you in my dreams
Wherever I go tomorrow
You'll be here next to me

Even we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far
Oh, noo

Chorus
Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us
Together forever unfaded and unbroken
Wherever you are
Your love covers me
Forever more
You'll be here in my heart
Oh yeah

Whenever I miss, miss you so much
It's more than I can bear
Now, I wont cry
I'll just close my eyes
And know you'll be there

Your kiss and your touch
I'll never forget
Cause your as close
As my very next breath

Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us (Oh yeah)
Together forever (forever)
unfaded and unbroken (unbroken)
Wherever you areYour love covers me (Your love covers me)
Forever more (Forever more)
You'll be here in my heart

Oh, oooh
Even we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far

Chorus
Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us (Of us, yeah)
Together forever (forever, yeah yeah yeah)
Unfaded and unbroken (And unbroken)
Wherever you are (Whoo!)
Your love covers me (Your love covers me)
Forever more (Forever more)
You'll be here in my heart
OohMy heart...

hais.. yaya.. easier said thn done.. i go slp le.. tml got perf.. and now having pms.. fuck.. feel like everyone's bullying me.. my internet bully me, my song mixer bully me, my blog bully me, and time's bullying me.. one big FUCK to al the big bullies! sian.. nites..

if this goes on any longer..
you're losing me..
drifting apart..
painful i felt..
no one understnad..
no one noes..
this is me.. my life..
a life tat no one wil see me thru..
wil it end here? or wil i continue to suffer?
when wil this end???
*crying* -again- =(