i am super duper pissed with my connection today >=( nabei.. super buay stable.. ok i skipped sch again today =\ i slept at 6+ ytd @_@ for some reason juz cant fall aslp -.- ok juz slack my day again today.. tried mixing song.. i got somethin today.. but stil tink it suck la.. too simple liao..

and chatted with a few ppl today =) maybe that's the onli cheer-me-up thing that happen today.. shir say she miss my "nabei" lol!!! ok N-A-B-E-I wahaha! =X wanted to do something for my dearest fren but thn hor.. no inspiration ar.. lol =X nvm la..

emi called me iko juz now -.- so bu xi guan sia!!!! lol! thn she call me xinwei airen wahaha! =X anyway now am depending on 2 pathetic connection -.- mr eagleheaven and mr tanhonggek.. lol! =X but they keep onl9ine offline online offline -.- so i very sian.. hopefully can pay faster..

and i tink i wil get a chinchilla myself.. =\ i dun wan so ai mai ai mai.. i rather save the money myself and get it.. no point depending on others la.. sick and tired of asking and waiting.. watever.. i'm gonna get things i wan, myself.. not gonna depend on anyone anymore.. had enuff..

i go try find things to do le.. maybe not bein online is also a gd thing ba.. no one nag at him for gaming.. no one to disturb him when doin his proj.. anyway i online also talk to not much ppl.. maybe juz a few discussion about dance with the rest ba.. ya i tink i iwl go off soon.. offline and watch my video.. ok i go le bye

it's best not to keep me waiting for too long..
excuses after excuses is not gonna help..
it juz makes me feel u're not willing..
it's ok.. juz let me noe..
i'm sick and tired of these..
thanks

so sian =\ but i'm happy =) ok woke up at 1pm thn went to meet dearie at suntec for movie and "dinner" before his show.. am reali reali happy.. even thou it's like awhile onli.. but i seriously am happy =) knowing that he try to make the effort to make things rite.. knowing that he did not slp juz to finish his proj and meet me..

i'm juz so happy ^^ well.. i reali hope days like these (hard for us to meet) wil end real soon =\ but i tink it wont be so fast la =\ he stil got his proj al the way til dec i tink.. =( and after that he got to get a full time job le =( omg~ i hate growing up =( and me? stil got a LONGGGGGGGG way to go in poly =( well.. hopefully somethin interesting comes along the way ba..

came home very early today.. thn dinner with mum (i didnt eat) and her bf.. thn came home slack le lo.. tried to mix some songs for girls' nation comp.. but.. erm.. i give up -.- lol! hard sia! but at least got somethin today.. which is better thn ytd lol! tml wil continue.. hopefully more ideas.. need to ask ard for nice songs =) gonna search faizal's playlist tml whehehehe =X

ok i guess nothin much le =) i go watch hitch adn go orhorh le ba.. dunnow at time dearie wil be back also =( waiting for him now.. yeap yeap.. nites everyone.. muah.. oh! anyway jyun and shir is gonna join the comp with me n fil and a few others =) yay! let's make it a come back! woohoo~ =X ok nites

thanks baby..
i noe it's hard..
but let's try yea?
i love u..
so much~

woots i'm so T-I-R-E-D =\ NDP perf today was bad.. real bad one =\ everyone was so confident and didnt wanna prac at first.. well.. wat to do.. that's the HHIG trend i guess.. haha yaya-ness.. too bad.. they juz have to learn the lesson la.. i dun wanna be th eone telling them wat to do and wat not to do during perf..

many of them keep saying things like "i wanna be like them!" ya ya.. but are u putting in the effort? no.. i'm sick of hearing those words la.. i'll juz keep shut.. shud care bout myself more thn anyone in this case.. haha.. after perf, went to town with kelvin, yoyo, xu feng, mikal and tish.. but thn couple left early la..

so the 4 of us went walk ard and slack at mac at lido.. lol.. taken in alot of 2nd hand smoke -.- but nvm la.. frenship fellowship more impt =) relai fun la.. ahahaha.. didnt noe they bitch so well =X muehehe.. my bitching khakis liao whee~ ^^ and kelvin reali kana bully by me til very bad =X but he also bully me ma! so fair! lalalala~

ok i'm very very tired now.. tummy having some funny reaction -.- my head dunno why very dizzy -.- my upper back left side muscle pulled like mad -.- and my lower back old injuries is back -.- *faint* lol~ anyway saw sii and carmen they al in town.. oh.. one very very gd news for me..

si broke up with ski! YES! i noe i'm evil.. but i seriously wish her to be a straight.. and yes! this is the first step! and i sincerely hope she wont turn back ar =\ but i'm so happy! i kiss her anyway =X muehehehe.. too happy le XD and am glad that she's very cool with it man! yea that's my girl! =)

woo.. tml meeting dear dear le.. YES YES YES! finally -.- and a movie.. thou cant meet for long.. he got show at 6.. so ya.. i'll go home after that lo =( but nvm la.. can see him i happy le.. and the effort he try =) and i'm juz so happy.. feeling so gd to have a phone chat with him fo so long, lying on my dust-collected sofa -.- eating a cup of mango pudding =) so nice rite? ^^

ok i go slp liao.. surely get into coma one lol! =X nites!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for the effort my dear..
i can feel you now.. =)
and i'm loving it XD

p/s:nabei when is my big sunty coming?!?!?!?!?!
jammed very long le lei.. and my pms is killin me -.-
rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

am i too unreasonable? =\ hais.. i juz wish he has more time.. maybe if there's a possibility, i'll wish to transfer 1/2 of my time to him.. =( so that i can have lesser time to suffer this suffering and he'll have more time to be with me.. hais.. but tha's impossible.. i juz.. simply hate this.. no time no time.. damn the fucking no time..

hais.. nothin i can do.. like he say "bobian" well bobian lor.. wat else can i say? it's not i'm not saying things.. it's reali NOTHING i can say.. hais.. i tink i wil juz save up money, get myself a pet, get myself more frens and go out shopping with me.. or shud i.. ok nvm.. no point talking nonsense at this time..

seriously if i had noe it this way.. i wouldnt have step into this.. i'm not regretting loving him.. but it's juz.. i'm the kinda girl that need ALOT of companion from my bf.. i admit sometimes i get overboard.. and some ppl might even think "wtf is wrong with you?! why so sticky?" i noe it might not be something big for some of u.. but to me it is somwthing big.. haiz..

nvm me.. i juz need a space to rant again.. my precious blog.. i love my blog.. maybe i shud change a skin soon? so i wont feel sian lookin at it with the pic of both of us.. looking at them hurts me.. =( i juz cant imagine we can have so much time for each other in the past.. but not now.. blame the proj? blame his occupation? blame my own loneliness? i dun care.. no use blamin anyone or anything..

hais.. i juz receive this email from my fren.. and i tink it's scarily true.. and i hate to know this fact.. hais.. here it goes.. anyway i'll highlight red the part i tink applies.. and purple for my own comments..

AQUARIUS MAN
Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it's outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be "patient", even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won't be with him for long.

the last sentence is scary =\ cos i reali dunno how long more i can tahan.. =(

A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with "Love". He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy.

He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty.

Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance.

Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his "Work", or "Love". He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior. He like to be the first person to do something.

the part i highlighted.. i tink tat's y he like me?

You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will act as if he never has love like this before. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could fall in love again with another girl and act again like he never has this kind of love before.He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is "excitement" and "Love goes on".

chase him away? i hope that wil not happen.. i wont blame him but i'll show.. hais..

If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure.

If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends. Don't ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.

i'm definitely not a gd follower.. =\

i tink i'm reali super super sian now.. =( tml.. hais.. juz another day.. wat's so special of my everyday? thot after being attach my days would be so much better.. with lil surprises here and there.. lil sweetness here and there.. but no.. i'm wrong.. again.. =( maybe it's not time for him to get a gd.. or is it that he and me.. got tgt at the wrong time of each other's life?

i'm stil in the "i need my bf to be with me and play and play.." but he's at the "i need to work and earn money" stage of life.. hais.. =( god.. pls dun tell me this is yet again another "right guy wrong time" incident again ok.. it's reali scary.. i am happy i got a bf.. and i'm happy it's him.. but i'm seriously not happ with the way we are being tgt.. =( i seriously am not.. i tink this point he also noe la.. no nid me to say also noe.. noeing i'm so sian about his "no time lei" "busy lei".. wat else can i be other thn sian..

here's a song.. if onli i can look at things as nicely as the lyrics goes.. =
Here in my heart - plus one
Wherever you are tonight girl
I'll see you in my dreams
Wherever I go tomorrow
You'll be here next to me

Even we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far
Oh, noo

Chorus
Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us
Together forever unfaded and unbroken
Wherever you are
Your love covers me
Forever more
You'll be here in my heart
Oh yeah

Whenever I miss, miss you so much
It's more than I can bear
Now, I wont cry
I'll just close my eyes
And know you'll be there

Your kiss and your touch
I'll never forget
Cause your as close
As my very next breath

Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us (Oh yeah)
Together forever (forever)
unfaded and unbroken (unbroken)
Wherever you areYour love covers me (Your love covers me)
Forever more (Forever more)
You'll be here in my heart

Oh, oooh
Even we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far

Chorus
Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us (Of us, yeah)
Together forever (forever, yeah yeah yeah)
Unfaded and unbroken (And unbroken)
Wherever you are (Whoo!)
Your love covers me (Your love covers me)
Forever more (Forever more)
You'll be here in my heart
OohMy heart...

hais.. yaya.. easier said thn done.. i go slp le.. tml got perf.. and now having pms.. fuck.. feel like everyone's bullying me.. my internet bully me, my song mixer bully me, my blog bully me, and time's bullying me.. one big FUCK to al the big bullies! sian.. nites..

if this goes on any longer..
you're losing me..
drifting apart..
painful i felt..
no one understnad..
no one noes..
this is me.. my life..
a life tat no one wil see me thru..
wil it end here? or wil i continue to suffer?
when wil this end???
*crying* -again- =(

i reali is suay til nothing to say liao -.- today my childish classmate kick up a big fuss over his grades.. he even blame the faci for it -.- ehh come on la.. when u blame others.. tink about how the fuck u behave and talk in class la.. especially la ok.. i seriously am damn fucking piss with ppl liddat..

even if u not happy with mr ng.. at least say nicely rite?! he's the FACI after all ok.. u're not the biggest of all.. because of ur childishness, we al have to suffer for having late breakfast.. because of u, our moods were all spoiled.. because of u, everyone has to go home late.. now u noe why u're fucking so hated by ppl? cos it's ur fucking attitude..

like wat i told u la.. u better watch ur words and ur manners before i lost my cool.. and when i turn nasty i believe everythin wont be nice for u.. u noe my temper and dun tink that u're the biggest ir rather the onli person in the class ok.. i noe la.. andy reali is hard to work with at times.. but u dare to say he reali is a BAD BAD BAD classmate? i dare u to say that and prove it to me..

and when u complain.. u wan a change of team.. have u ever thot of the trouble u put everyone at? juz because of ur childishness, we al have to crack our brain to solve the prob.. u say mr ng not fair.. but are u being fair? u r NOT! if u happen to read this or someone ask u to read, i wanna say that i'm not talking bad things about u behind ur back ok.. if u wan i can confront u rite in ur face and slap the hell outta u..

u wanna be a beng rite? wanna be the HERO that saves everyone? haha! no way... have u wonder how stupid u look and sound today? have u wonder why no one except rac is supporting u? honestly rac is also another one.. she say she bth andy.. tink i can tahan her??? the ans is NO! but i'm keeping shut about it.. why? cos i noe.. we have to learn to compromise..

i dare to say in my blog or rather admit to everyone.. there's alot of ppl that irritates me in w25e.. but i'll juz tahan.. tink i LOVEEEEE andy that much? no! i cant stand his way of bossiness either.. but the way u deal with it is totally wrong! shudnt u at least try to help him? i spoke to him before and i see the slight change and i appreciate that.. tink i can tahan rac? for screaming and shouting in class? tink i can tahan jessies's screams? tink i can tahan liyi's loud annoying laughter? tink i can tahan everyone being so selfish?

and mostly u tink i can tahan u mr zhiwei.. for being such a childish ah beng wanna be and trying to act cool mr guy? tink i can tahan u forever asking ard for ppl's ppt and reluctant to sharing ur own one? tink i can tahan someone like u? the ans is NO! big fat NOOOOOO~ if u tink everything wil go ur way? u better wake up ur bloody mind.. none of us is perfect.. we have our flaws.. u have urs too.. but we accept it.. at the most we tell u nicely and hope to help u change.. but wat u do? u hurt andy and mr ng rite into their face ok! put urself in their shoes.. ho the fuck wil u feel?

seriously if u care about the grades that much.. thn go ahead get ur gd grades and lost al ur frens.. we dun care a shit for selfish ppl like u alrite.. first not getting gd grades u blame sean for saying ur slides.. he's juz trying to help! damn u! thn now mr ng gave u rather bad comments and u blame one andy?!?! next one who? me? liyi? jess? vern? or anyone? al of us take turns la.. so u wil never be the BAD person here.. wan ornt? nabei i seriously cant stand ppl like u ok.. fucker..

after class.. went to HHIG.. ok la.. i muz say i'm partly at fault.. cos CA wans to split us into 2 grp.. for lunchtime perf in oct.. thn one grp is led by syafiq and te other by matt.. and the ppl in matt's team are like those closer with me.. mael, bryan, syaheera.. blahh blahh.. thn in syaf's team got ppl i dun like to work with.. hmm i tink i shud say cos i feel that i shudnt tink that way and i felt sorry.. ppl like ain, germ, amir, even syaf himself..

but thn i dunno why i tink alot.. i feel that i shudnt be like this.. cos this makes me no diff from the bastard i mentioned above.. and one thing.. i say i dun like work with them i didnt say i dun like them ok.. pls seperate this clearly.. they're nice ppl.. it's juz that our concepts is different.. so i's harder to work with.. but i tink it's a gd chance for me to learn to work with everyone =) and i'm very happy to it now.. i'm suppose to "train" 2 girls for whacking.. woohoo~ so happy ^^ hopefully they'll work hard for it =)

wish to have more whackers ard as well =) so here i wanna say sorry to everyone of syaf's team.. gomene~ and also i super suay is cos I SPRAIN MY BACK MUSCLE!!!!! X( damn it! whack too much le =( now my left side of my back muscle is being pulled.. =( mummy say quite jialat =\ she say swollen much worst thn last time.. OMG~ *faint* and when i bathe, i cannot stand straight sia.. =\ super pain..

hopefully by sat can recover.. my ndp ar!!!! =\ and i tink tml got prac with lush *bangwall* why i so suay? got prac thn liddat.. -.- nothing impt thn nothin happen to me.. ma de.. suay til dabian.. thn mummy was massaging my back, she press my spine got al the "piak piak" sound sia =\ scary!!!! omg.. my body's rotting.. let's pray i'll be ok.. oh and.. hopefully jason's snowy wil be fine as well =\ kinda worry for him now.. =\ hais.. i tink i shud pray more and play less =
ok i go naruto le.. nites ppl.. muack

my internet got cut =( ok i'm stealing.. no.. BORROWING my neighbour's network lol =X but it's very unstable =( but nvm la.. better thn nothing.. sians.. ok went esplanade today to dance.. with lush.. SHIOKA NATHAN SIA! lol woohoo~

very long nv dance til so shiok liao XD learn 3 dance today -.- they tink i super memory lol.. but nvm la.. i reali need to catch up ALOT! and tapa ask us to join the overdrive comp! OMG! cant believe i'm joinin with lush!!! woohoo~ so happy!!! but i'm gonna train hard.. very very hard!!! today learn abit of the dance.. fun man!!!! XD

the team rep lush wil be me, fil, dee, maz, tapa and hakim.. but i tink they might not put hakim.. cos there's one more guy (i dunno his name =X) so i dunno la.. see how lo =) juz sooooo happy! XD and me and fil finally got to discuss about the girls' nation battle =) whee~ we're gonna get me, she, mel and one of her ex crew mate.. and maybe one more person.. see how..

wahseh i super excited sia lol =X and today kate was there too.. walao she very zai.. very very zai! RESPECT! she very cute also haha.. but i very shy dun dare talk to her =X if i can learn from her i happy sia! she and gin i reali look up to man! woohoo~ ok i tink my body coordination stil sucks -.- but i wil train! yay i wil!!! =) me and fil also talk abit on the hhig thingy.. well.. we both have same thots la.. but i tell her juz hang on we'll see how lo..

we come to a conclusion that hhig cannot be pass over to 2 person in our batch.. she told me abit on who our current "leader" thot of passing the ig to.. there's 4 la.. but i tink if pass to 2 of the 4 ar.. we'll DIE! lol.. as in i'm very sure the ig wl close down lor.. confirm! hopefully he got eye to see la..

so sian of the ig now man.. =\ i tink of goin to his lesson reali turn me off -.- i juz wan to dance! not break.. i dun mind breaking.. but not at a time like this when al the comps are coming -.- i wanna concentrate on dancin! i swear i wan.. so i tink tml onwards i wont be so active in his class liao.. i go for his class is BOBIAN.. not i wan ok.. i also told dearie that i wont go for his class after i complete the basic.. nt that i dun like his class or wat.. but it's juz i wan concentrate in dance..

and since it's hard to be gd in both dance and break, i choose dance.. that's my initial dream anyway.. and it's gonna be that way =) i've made a promise to myself that i wil not let anyone down that have hopes in my dance =) oh ya.. saw yutaki today =) funny la.. tink he quite shock to see me stil dancing at that time lol.. cos raher late le.. but i tink he wil be happy ba =)

he had hopes on me.. lol! if not that uan girls team wont be formed.. =) thou it didnt succeed la.. but it's a experience added to my collection =) and indeed al his lessons made me improve SO much!!! =) i seriously thank him ALOT! =) if i succeed one day.. i wont forget him =) and i wont let my mum down.. thou she appeared not supportive la.. but i noe it's for my own gd cos my injuries.. haha but i noe she love to see me dance =)

and alot alot la lol.. one of the most impt ones are them.. clovers.. thou things werent as before.. but i seriously stil hope to let them noe i succeed one day.. i wish to share with them the happiness.. i wish to hais.. nvm.. rahh! no sad things tonite.. muz be happy.. oh and i muz not let god down =) haha.. god gave me alot of gd things.. i tink he had been reali reali nice to me..

i had been so lucky.. i never fail my exam (except for my stupid math o level).. i got one of the best dance instructor.. i got one of the best crew in spore.. i got nice frens ard me (thou some i nv cherish).. and i tink i got a very gd bf now.. =) everything is juz so nice for me all these years of growing up.. most imptly.. my case.. few yrs ago my police case.. can u imagine.. i can actually be jailed up to 5yrs.. but i onli got probation..

reali thank god for everything man.. so i promise i wil be successful in life =) i'm juz so happy with everythin i have now.. lush, him, mummy, my classmates.. something lacking is them.. =( but well i wil work hard to hopefully salvage everything =) it's partly my fault in the beginning so well.. i shud clear the mess and get wat i wan back =)

i go naruto awhile thn go ZZZ le.. tml got sch.. *sian* nites everyone.. muacks

i'm a lucky girl in every aspects of my life..
except for love..
i hope this time round..
i'm the luckiest girl on earth =)

didnt go sch.. overslept =X anyway today dearie came over =) cos he was teaching at northalnd so after that he came over for us to meet awhile =) *happy* he bought mac for me wor.. heez so nice rite?! =) sweet.. muacks.. ^^

ok after that went sch.. for HHIG.. at first was quite fuck up.. cos someone who's of higher AUTHORITY over us for this stupid show wanted us to change the dance routines.. and for no reason at first.. he also said it in a "i'm the boss here" manner.. all i ca say is FUCK U!

i ask him wat's the reason, he diam diam.. so i decided not to change or even care.. at the most dun perform.. it wont kill me.. tinking that he's the BOSS there.. is making me super turn off.. cant he say it nicer? after that he did try to talk to me nicely.. ok since that's the case.. i also give way la.. so i change lor.. but seriously i'm not goin to choreo it.. he wan it to be breaking wat.. it's not my type of dance.. so too bad..

they choreo, i learn.. i'm suppose to be a DANCER, not a CHOREOGRAPHER.. and i'm starting to feel that someone related to him, is starting to get bossy.. asking ask prac when she herself is sitting there with her big gulp.. how nice! give her my middle finger man! damn it.. hate ppl liddat.. seriously if yutaki or whoever is liddat, i wil hate them.. asking ppl to do while u relax ur way thru.. HA.. HA.. HA..~

after that i went to dance abit with haru.. lol! fun! learned kirei da front part and super lover! XD whee~ my jpop life is back again!!! wahaha! =X but seriously very fun.. the SOMEONE in authority tried to be sarcastic at first.. cos nelly ask him wat we doin.. he say KPOP.. lol! in a sarcastic manner ar.. so i shoot back say "sorry hor is J pop.." thn he lanlan! LALALA~

after lesson, wen to eat with kelvin, matt, andrew and this guy whom i dunno his name -.- lol! but he's my senior with kelvin they al la =) we talk ALOT sia!! lol! eat at LJS thn talk til last train lol! =X we bitch about alot of things lol~ and alot of dance theories =) am very glad that they are willing to listen, ask and learn =) even thou they're seniors and all of them can break.. they are willing to listen to the super ultimate basic of the basics.. =)

i like this kind of ppl man! hate ppl whom onli wan to learn the higher level of something when they noe nuts about the foundation.. i call that kind of ppl, POSEURS! i dun care how gd they can dance/break but i onli noe.. if u noe nothing about the basic or u can do the basic well, u're nothing..

were also talking about who's gd dance, who's the not gd ones.. and who's the poseurs.. the yaya ones.. and i told them this "malays are born gd dacers.. it's juz in their blood" all of us agreed.. but seriously.. after that couple there.. i swear.. i wil work extra harder.. to be better thn them.. thou it doesnt run in my blood.. but i believe with hard work and perserverance, i can make it one day.. =)

i'm gonna be a gd dancer one day.. a true one.. not those poseurs i see almost everyday.. i dun have the talent but i wil make my dream come true and prove that everyone can be a gd dancer.. if they wan to =)

sounds like some speec ehh?? lol! =X ok nvm.. but i mean it =) anyway goin to naruto le! whee hehehehe! buaibuai.. i love my dear.. lalala~

damn u poseurs out there..
tink u can reali dance?
let's battle it out man..
i may not win now..
but i'll show it to u one day..

didnt go sch.. overslept =X anyway today dearie came over =) cos he was teaching at northalnd so after that he came over for us to meet awhile =) *happy* he bought mac for me wor.. heez so nice rite?! =) sweet.. muacks.. ^^

ok after that went sch.. for HHIG.. at first was quite fuck up.. cos someone who's of higher AUTHORITY over us for this stupid show wanted us to change the dance routines.. and for no reason at first.. he also said it in a "i'm the boss here" manner.. all i ca say is FUCK U!

i ask him wat's the reason, he diam diam.. so i decided not to change or even care.. at the most dun perform.. it wont kill me.. tinking that he's the BOSS there.. is making me super turn off.. cant he say it nicer? after that he did try to talk to me nicely.. ok since that's the case.. i also give way la.. so i change lor.. but seriously i'm not goin to choreo it.. he wan it to be breaking wat.. it's not my type of dance.. so too bad..

they choreo, i learn.. i'm suppose to be a DANCER, not a CHOREOGRAPHER.. and i'm starting to feel that someone related to him, is starting to get bossy.. asking ask prac when she herself is sitting there with her big gulp.. how nice! give her my middle finger man! damn it.. hate ppl liddat.. seriously if yutaki or whoever is liddat, i wil hate them.. asking ppl to do while u relax ur way thru.. HA.. HA.. HA..~

after that i went to dance abit with haru.. lol! fun! learned kirei da front part and super lover! XD whee~ my jpop life is back again!!! wahaha! =X but seriously very fun.. the SOMEONE in authority tried to be sarcastic at first.. cos nelly ask him wat we doin.. he say KPOP.. lol! in a sarcastic manner ar.. so i shoot back say "sorry hor is J pop.." thn he lanlan! LALALA~

after lesson, wen to eat with kelvin, matt, andrew and this guy whom i dunno his name -.- lol! but he's my senior with kelvin they al la =) we talk ALOT sia!! lol! eat at LJS thn talk til last train lol! =X we bitch about alot of things lol~ and alot of dance theories =) am very glad that they are willing to listen, ask and learn =) even thou they're seniors and all of them can break.. they are willing to listen to the super ultimate basic of the basics.. =)

i like this kind of ppl man! hate ppl whom onli wan to learn the higher level of something when they noe nuts about the foundation.. i call that kind of ppl, POSEURS! i dun care how gd they can dance/break but i onli noe.. if u noe nothing about the basic or u can do the basic well, u're nothing..

were also talking about who's gd dance, who's the not gd ones.. and who's the poseurs.. the yaya ones.. and i told them this "malays are born gd dacers.. it's juz in their blood" all of us agreed.. but seriously.. after that couple there.. i swear.. i wil work extra harder.. to be better thn them.. thou it doesnt run in my blood.. but i believe with hard work and perserverance, i can make it one day.. =)

i'm gonna be a gd dancer one day.. a true one.. not those poseurs i see almost everyday.. i dun have the talent but i wil make my dream come true and prove that everyone can be a gd dancer.. if they wan to =)

sounds like some speec ehh?? lol! =X ok nvm.. but i mean it =) anyway goin to naruto le! whee hehehehe! buaibuai.. i love my dear.. lalala~

damn u poseurs out there..
tink u can reali dance?
let's battle it out man..
i may not win now..
but i'll show it to u one day..

now i noe.. concentrate in studying is super tiring.. =\ i rather dance and study balance up.. for last week i fully study.. and today also.. i feel like dying =\ damn it.. today's lesson killed ALL of my brain cells.. -.- now i left with 0.00000000000000000000000001% of my brain juice.. and i need to sleep!!!!

anyway after sch wanted to go shop with liyi and cheryl but end up dearie called =) so i went to meet him instead.. i noe it's abit pang sei for cheryl and liyi la.. but thn hope they understand la.. a week of not seeing my dear and the unhappy things that happen.. today means alot juz to see him =)

we went to catch pirates of the carribean.. i catch abit of ball la.. not all thou lol =X but not bad.. quite funny! haha~ and i love my baby! muack muack!! lala~ so happy today =) details, private =p juz noe that i'm happy alrite? =) ok off i go to orh orh..

oh ya! lastly.. was watchin naruto epi 15-19 juz now.. NABEI my sasuke almost died! if he die i dun wan watch liao!!!! lol =X but he so zai! wont die one la.. muehehe! but seriously i cried like mad.. =X not over him la but is over al the touching parts lol =X ok nvm i wan to slp le.. nitey nite!

muacks i love u

slack my day off at home.. nothing to do.. watch video whole day.. sian is the word.. i shall go now.. bye..

i think this is seriously not wat i deserve after 5days of not meeting yet not complaining.. and best is, tml he cant acc me as well.. when i say i wanted to watch the comp at suntec.. he say he cant cos he got proj.. and he even say things like "watch before already wat" but tink.. it's MY crew! how can i nt supportiung them? if fuyo goes for comp.. wil u go and support even thout u watch it like 90733456789987654times?!!? i didnt wanna say anythin thou i was feeling damn yucky about it..

i acc him while day today..forcing myself out of bed, rushing my way down to SMU to juz to be a idiot and sit there and do nothing.. nvm.. it's stil ok.. since i wanted to see him as well.. after the show, thot i could treat him to a movie, have a nice dinner tgt since we have not spend time with each other for such a long time..

wanted to juz spend some time with him.. listening to his complains on his proj and him listening to my complains of my sch work.. knowing that he had been very tired and stress out recently, i juz wanted to spend some time with him, being in our own world.. but now i dun even noe whether we have our world.. or are we reali in 2 different worlds..

instead of al the nice plans i wan, he chose to go to esplanade and break.. ok fine.. i juz acc him as long as he's happy.. when there, we talk less thn 10 sentences.. i was sitting there al alone.. at times got jarel they al to acc me talk cock.. if not, thn i'll be spending my precious time and energy on my hp game "snake".. or i'll be sitting there at a corner like a idiot out of no where seeing them break..

when i was fucking bored, i wanted to break abit.. and i guess i made the wrong dicision.. ya i'm too weak for breaking.. i shud have juz sit there and shut my bloody mouth up instead of learning wat bloody shoulder freeze.. but thn i juz wanna learn more!! cant i?! i juz need encouragement.. i need support.. if u dun wan to teach me, so be it.. dun have to pull my morale down by saying things like "no nid to learn shoulder freeze la.." "baby freeze is nicer.." "dun nid to learn when others also noe la" WTF?!?! tat's my reaction.. yes.. what the fuck!

my bf here.. is telling me things which is pulling my morale lower and lower.. and best is he's a instructor! a bloody instructor for heaven's sake! how can a instructor not encouraging a student? how can a instructor telling his student to give up ba?! i noe i'm weak la.. but at least say things that i can do to improve rite?! why muz he ask me to "dun learn shoulder freeze"???

is this one of the reason why he buy me the phone? for me to play games with, listen to songs, keep myself entertain when he's not ard? if that's the case.. i'll not use this phone.. cos i dun wan hp to be my bf!!!! i seriously dunno i'm in a r/s with my hp, my classmates or with him.. i seriously dunno..

if things are gonna be like this.. i rather not be with him.. its not that i dun love him or my love for him has faded.. but it juz turns me off with al these no time for each other.. tink about it.. before we were tgt, we spend so much more time tgt thn now! i noe he has proj.. but it's abit too much for wat happen today rite?! putting me aside and break al he wans.. is it true that it's confirm always sweeter before u get into a r/s?

and this reminds me of this episode in sex and the city.. Carrie is with Alec.. before they were tgt, alec spend almost all his time on her.. everytime she needs him, he'll be there for sure! but when they got tgt, alec is always asking carrie to acc him.. yes.. he's stil as sweet.. he's stil as nice as a bf.. giving her money, gifts, everything! but not time.. there's seriously nothing wrong with asking ur gf to acc u.. but thn not when u have no time for her rite?

one day, carrie was ask to go to a museum opening with alec.. alec begged her to.. ok she went.. cos she didnt wan alec to be sad.. yet.. when there.. alec left her al alone on a bench.. ALL ALONE! how sad can that be? carrie was hurt.. she chose to break with alec.. she said this when she break with him..

"i need love.. overwhelming love.. love that we cant live without.. i need a lover whom i cant live without.. i need a lover who cant live without me.. not someone who gives me wealth and not his time!"

and yes i truly agree.. i believe this is the sentence within every girl's heart.. i HATE loneliness.. but i'm willing to be lonely for him today.. juz to see him happy.. but it juz went abit over when it comes to the attitude i receive.. this sentence wil stay in my mind forever even thou it might not mean anythin big.. "u wan me to teach ornt? if u dun wan thn i go back to break liao" i will remember it..

being liddat juz makes me feel that he has a gf.. but i do not have a bf.. get wat i mean? when he felt lonely, he sms me i wil juz be there for him.. but when i'm lonely.. i sms him.. when he's busy.. i'll get ignored or late replies.. this 5 days of not meeting up.. at nite.. when he's done with his proj.. i thot we could spend time online.. but no.. dota is al he do.. DOTA DOTA AND DOTA! fuck that bloody cheebye dota!

i didnt wanna complain cos i noe he's stress.. maybe i shud give him space and time to relax.. but thn doesnt he noe wat is ZHI DONG?! automatic? not acc ur gf in the day physically.. and not acc ur gf at nite emotionally.. he dota.. i had no choice but to dl LOTS of videos to watch to keep myself entertained.. i wonder my bf is my HP, my video or him.. damn it! maybe i'm being unreasonable here.. but i need love L-O-V-E not money.. not all the "i love u" "i miss u" "muacks" watever!

i need love! companion.. is the word.. i seriously am damn damn disappointed and sad today.. now i wonder.. do i reali have a bf? iko.. are u SURE u have a BOYFRIEND?!?! u're always alone! finding ppl to acc u everyday.. finding andy, liyi, emi.. "how come ur bf nv acc u one?" these is what many had asked me this few days.. and me asking myself.. hais.. i reali dunno la.. call me stubborn.. call me unreasonable.. call me dumb or call me a fucker.. i dun care..

i wanted to share my happiness of patching things up with sisi.. i wanted to tell him how happy i am having meeting fei er today.. wanted to end my day in my mind thinking "how should VIP have a gathering?" wanted to think of "how am i gonna patch things up with clover?" wanted to plan alot alot alot of happy things.. but i'm not in the mood..

bring me back to those days..
if this carries on..
things wil fall apart..
it's now.. or never..
can someone juz stop al these fucking bullshits?!
cheebye =(

tired! nothin much to say.. today went shoppin with classie.. had a long and tiring day.. science was fun but draining.. need to replenish now.. goode bye!

woots.. skipped sch AGAIN! hehe =X but is enterprise so it's ok.. i actually woke up.. thn i was sms-ing liyi.. thn i was tinking whether to go ornt.. so i ask her wat UT isit today.. she said enterprise.. the funniest part is.. i actually woke up and check my gpa thn i see it's 2.8 thn i decide not to go lol =X

so i went back to my dreamland.. and poof! i woke at 3.30pm lol!!!! zai sia! ok anyway stayed home whole day.. didnt go anywhere at al.. super sian! =\ tml muz go sch le.. yay! tml's science.. i tink faci wont noe who i am lol!! wonder how she'll react tml =X

anyway.. desrie say the chinchilla zhihao say can give le XD yay! so happy.. and it's a baby ok!! B-A-B-Y!!! OMGOMGOMG~ now it's juz our side to see if we reali wan =) that's up to dearie le ba.. i'm juz so exicted XD anyway here's some pic..



beautifully white!!!!

winking at me! XD

pretty!

OMG super fat! lol!

sniff sniff!

violet mosaic chin! so cute! the name's juliet! lol!

OREO!!! lol!!!

a violet one! damn cute rite! cant imagine i'm gonna have one soon! XD

"give me that or i'll punch u!!!"

nice house! wil save money for the materials XD

currently shud be using something like this ba =)

tired tired~ @_@ and i'm very very sure i wil fail my ut today =\ and also i wil get maximum a C today minimum a F =\ i'm seriously so tired til i shut my mind off the stupid faci all the way.. =\ she keep "iko u understand?" "iko are u with me?" nabei diam la~

i also hack care her lol =X i juz continue readin on chinchi and do abit of the themes for my hp and lappie hehe.. i can say ar.. whole class NO ONE is listening to her lor.. lol! liyi's shopping online whole day, sean's making game, zhiwei and fairose was movie-ing in class, the rest is msn-ing.. lol! say liao her lesson is sian til can rot one.. =
but die la.. my gpa for it is 1.8 =\ OMG.. how?!?!?! =\ dunno dun care la lol! everyone's not giving a damn bout it anyway =X okok i'm super tired le.. wanna get some movie done and go KO le.. tml got ut again! -.- sian la.......... okok i better be gone.. stil reading abit on chinchi's cage hehe.. =X aiya nvm la hor? hehe.. off i go~ buai buai~

misses and lots of misses.. =(
someone knock some sense into me ytd..
i tink xw is reali missing..
give me time.. i wil find her back..

dunno wat to blog bout la.. not in the mood to talk.. anyway here's some pic.. enjoy.. starting with me n emi.. on my bday..

i drew this anyway.. juz to disturb vern cos he keep disturbing me..

andy and fai's team presentation.. wat? receiving some stupid award? -.-

my team's! i drew it.. this is the back part..

and this is the front.. not bad ehh? using marker ok! within like 20min?

fai's gettin to bored by lookin at us eat.. so he grab my phone and nic and got this pic down..

so cute rite? thou it's edited.. but it's stil cute..

omg.. furball! my maomao never slp liddat b4!

damn it! a WHITE CHINCHILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN!

damn it! a BABY! X( how cute can it be?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

forever a lil prince in my heart.. when lookin at this pic i'm missing maomao =( he's forever my prince =( i miss him.. hais.. juz went thru a few pics of animals up for adopt.. saw a dog looks like dawa.. =\ but i tink it's not la.. and thn saw a chinchilla that's up for sale that looks exactly like maomao! EXACTLY i mean =\ hais.. nvm.. dun wish to talk more about it.. tink i'll juz give up.. hais..

i miss u maomao =(
the memory of ur last breathe stil vivid in my mind..
seeing you waiting for me to come home on ur bed before u "leave" me
seeing you trying to stand up but failed..
seeing you breathing hardly..
all these.. juz breaks my heart so much.. =(
maomao.. i miss u.. =.................(

i juz dun understand.. hais.. he's much bz and he can have a kitty.. while i'm so damn lonely yet i cant have a chinchi.. =( maybe to him i'll forever be the lil girl who never plan things and dunno my priorities.. maybe he's always the right one and i'm the sturbborn one.. i just wan a pet.. someone to acc me and someone for me to take care of.. getting me a chinchi wont make me happy.. i'm not a material person.. understanding me can thn make me truly happy.. nothin else.. when wil he ever reali understand me? when wil i ever get into his world filled with logics i dun understand? and when the hell wil al these stop? to many i maybe throwing tantrums.. watever it is..
i'm me..

here are the pictures =) ALOT wor lol~


style methodz inda house~! woohoo~


see how tiny the dog is! OMG~


censored~ =X not i make one ok~ i'm not hentai X(

wahseh stadium road close for my bday lei~ =X

the sweetest bf i ever have =)

LIU ZHAN YAO~~~~ =X

me and reela at remix =)

my leader maz and me =)

me and tapa~

i'm in lush~ the coolest crew ever XD

look like dearie rite!!! =X

OMG~ the prettiest thing i ever seen~ 12 PINK roses with MANY baby's breathe~ XD

i'm trying to make it look nice with the crystal heart wind chime.. did it work? =X

i took this when dearie's not ard lol~ cos he dun wan me to take it with the doggy~ =\

here's the 1st and 2nd present of the day =)

OMG~ the PIG~! rahh~ it look familiar ehh =\ and that's the 3rd pressie

now here's the verall summary of the day =) the 4 pressies altogether..

after unwrapping the 4th pressie.. it's a.... 3250!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PINK! XD

i didnt wanna take out the heart shape sticker.. but have to =(

ok now here's the REAL summary lol~ i love him! XD

me and my pressies XD

dearie cant stop taking photos of me.. haha =X

he's trying to act BIG eyes -.-

i love this pic~ LOTSSS~!

wat a BIG "lightbulb" i mean the pig~~~ =X

piggy loves attention.. lol~

now's 3250's turn to get the attention! whee~

here's my bday kiss XD

previous one was blur and this one dearie's angle abit weird lol -.-

now a kiss back to my mr sweetest bf =) (wat's the face for?!?!)

ok here's the nice one =) i love my sweet bf ^^

oh and my bday wish of the yr =)

emotyadbyppahosepohstelefilymfoyugehtebliwehepohilaeridnamihhtiwsaweno
suoiverpehtdnaeninralletshtiwsawdahiyadbtnecertsomeht
..hcsirpedistuoemdesirpruslayehtgnefoayerehwogasraey6dahitahtenodna
yadb2tsetalehtrebmemerilnonaci
..roopossawsyadbymfoyromemym
..yadenoniagaemittsalekilyadbruoetarbelecnacew
tahthsiwinahttubemhtiwmehtevahnudotdasstiuoht
..elffunentheromebliwtikniti
..hcaebehtybsratsnihctawemhtiwenoemosevahotsirysihtrofhsiwila..
*happy 19th to me*