Melody of my Life..

wil blog from ytd event.. but wil try to keep it short cos super tired le..

11 august 2006

went to youth park for lush practise.. actually i wan to tell them that i dun wan to dance for 12th august which is today's performance.. cos i haven learn alot and i'm not confident.. =\ but i relai wish to perform =( so i juz went to youth park lo.. see if can manage to learn thn ok lo.. if not thn nvm..

and luckily, i manage to get at least 5songs out of 6.. but thn not very confident in a few so i end up dancing onli to 3songs.. but ya i'm happy le =) after practise i went to MOS with si, shir, jyun, fei and sabbie.. it was not bad la.. normal clubbing lo.. dance blahh blahh.. didnt drink alot.. yeap.. now i'm attach, things shud be rite and i shud always be very alert with things goin on ard me...

reqach home at abt 5am.. sms dear.. thn i KO le.. but couldnt reali slp well cos was thinking of the steps for today like mad.. =\ damn gan jiong la =( ok so i slpet at abt 6am ba..

12 august 2006

woke up late for meeting with lush =\ was suppose to meet at 11am at woodlands mrt.. thn i woke up onli at ard 1pm i tink when dear called.. =\ i tink if he nv call hor now i juz woke up nia sia lol.. =X thn i get ready at home thn go meet them at woodlands mrt thn go to woodlands cc straight le lo =) well.. was very very nua =( thn tamade suay.. kana big aunty.. (*&^%$#@!! suay til can dabian sia>=(

whole day juz slack ard, walk ard, kpo here kpo there lo.. and have lil practices here and there.. yeap.. dear didnt watch my show.. well.. nvm la.. he happily breaking can le lo.. wat else can i say? ha.. it was very disappointing la.. but hais.. nvm la.. wat's so big deal abt me dancing anyway.. not as if i'm such a gd dancer.. =(

well ya the show went smoothly.. not much mistakes but onli one part i 1beat slower.. to some ppl it dun seems to have any mistakes.. but to some other, they can see my mistake.. thou they say it's not very obvious.. but stil it's a mistake.. =\ take example.. if u fail a exam by 0.5 point.. can u argue with the examiner that "eh it's onli 0.5.. let me pass lei.." no rite? ya.. tat's wat i mean.. hais..

i reali wan to give my best today but stupid cb big sunty come thn knn i super no strength.. =( thn somemore i nv eat whole day sia.. no time to eat and no mood to eat.. super stress.. =( so wat i did was purely doin steps and not dancing =( omg.. i hate that.. i seriously hate it when i'm onli doin steps instead of dancing.. =( who cannot do steps? everyone in this world can lor.. ma de.. hais.. fuck la.. when thn can i be a real gd dancer?!?!?! fucking hell..

i swear i have tui bu alot.. ALOT ALOT! =( i dun wanna go rp break anymore.. i dun wanna break so much again.. i juz wan to concentrate on dance.. i wanna be a gd dancer.. i wanna be a best dancer! =( this is making me mad.. especially with the cb big sunty and also my stupid studies is failing badly.. and dear have no much time for me at all.. well.. nothing i can do.. i wan no more quarrels so i juz keep shut and let him do his things lo..

finding entertainments myself have already become a routine liao.. u noe.. xi guan.. yea.. =\ at the most juz treat i'm single lo.. he dun have to pei me so much wat.. with the mentality of "i'm single" i tink that wil make me feel better thn "i'm attach but my bf's not with me".. aiya dunno la.. juz so dan sick n tired of everything la.. i tink al girls shud bring ur bf to go watch the movie click.. especially if ur bf is those kind that works so much more thn acc u al.. well.. it'll onli be useful if ur bf WILL understand the lesson in the show and APPLY them..

ahh.. enuff bout BGR.. sian of talking abt it le.. actually i'm feeling super bad now =( i felt that i've pulled down the whole of lush =( how can i improve? =( how can i dun make them worry for me? hais.. more pracise? i noe i noe i noe! but when everyone cant or lazy.. how the fuck can i practise?!?!?! nabei la.. i hate myself so much now =( why cant i be a better dancer? =( oh well.. hais..

anyway style methodz got 2nd for today's com.. *congrats* i was surprised.. i reali am.. =) they mprove alot.. but someone whom i thot was a gd dancer.. pulled the whole grp down.. =\ well.. tat's their prob la.. i'm not involve so i keep shut unless comments are asked from me.. ok enuff bout today i guess,, ok went to eat at kfc after everything.. very tired.. sha.. sian and disappointed with everything.. gd nite~

when u say something..
mean it please..
dun say it and after awhile nothing happens..
it's very sian when awhile u say this yet i expect something but nothin came out..
know the feeling of shattered dreaqms? yes SHATTERED!
hais i juz feel u're not reqady.. or rather i'm not ready..
well.. wat else but again.. hais..
=(