Melody of my Life..

damn it.. he always initiates sms?! as if! so al my sms sent we juz replies.. ya.. i shudnt have even tink so much "how happy he'll be seeing this sms" no point since to him he always initiates.. damn it.. i'm so fucking pissed.. how i wish i can switch roles with him for a week.. let him have a taste of wat this feels like.. idiot.. how more silly can i be??? mummy say i'm always silly in love.. i noe.. i acted them out.. cos i noe love is blind.. but wat do i get?!?! he's always always always forever rite.. and i'm forever wrong.. damn it.. FINE! age gap do exist.. someone's rite.. a guy so much older is definitely different from younger guys.. they ALWAYS tinks they're rite and we're forever onli a xiao meimei that needs to LEARN LEARN and LEARN! i learn wat life has install for me.. not wat HE have install for me.. i dun wan to learn things that i dun wish to learn.. call me stubborn.. i dun care.. i'm not gd at words.. so? wan me learn? i've been not gd at them for 19yrs and am not gd at my temper for 19 years as well.. piss me off and this is wat u get.. dun expect me to be a sweetie when i'm pissed.. dun expect me to be nice and warm when i'm pissed.. i'm heartless? yes i am when i'm pissed.. my attitude sucks? yes i am! i am i am i am! so? i dun care.. i've been so damn disappointed recenty bt have to hide.. cos i noe it's no choice.. but fuck it! i'm gonna let out on my blog.. it's MY blog anyway.. no one has the rights to comment on me.. not happy? dun read thn! i dun need one more person to boost my blog's popularity.. disappointment after disappointment.. al these leads to wat? a better future? a more sorrowful me? or a xi guan? one of my fren say "eh i see u liddat very xin ku lei" my reply is "bobian.. xi guan le" she reply "huh.. why liddat" i say i dunno.. haha.. silly? YES! i cant imagine how silly i can be.. how stupid i can be.. and how god damn pissed i am rite now this minute! damn it.. lets see how long more i can change this into a XI GUAN.. damn it.. he NEVER understand me.. NEVER! i'm no longer a xiao meimei.. sometimes listen t me as well.. dun keep arguing back.. u ask me to keep silent and tink.. how abt u? do u do that? i guess not.. previously there's a tiffle.. whichin the end he did realise the prob's with him.. and i appreciate that.. but now? is my fault when he cant go to the chalet which he promised? it's my fault when i initiate sms and he tink it's him who initiates more? it's my fault for him having no time for me to acc with? ya la ya la.. it'a al my fault.. can?

liyi told me this..
in a r/s where got u pei me or i pei u one?
isnt it al we pei one another?

i cant quite get it.. but somehow i agree to it..
in a r/s reali muz draw the line til so clear?
i dun understand why..