Melody of my Life..

woots my day sucks.. =\ ok i wrote a post on my phone while i was alone at zouk.. since got nothing better to do and also need to let out my anger and frustration so here it is..

It's a fuckin nite out here at zouk.. i swear i'll NEVER come again.. e crowd sucks, the music sucks.. even the ppl i'm with.. hooking girls with the excuse of "we're playing a game" i'm already damn pissed with e crowd yet i have to wait for them to finish their "game of girls" before leaving for MOS.. wtf?! i cant help but wanna curse and swear.. it's a damn fuck up thing to have to wait for more thn 30min for them when they say "we're making our way out NOW" i might as well spend my nite at home with baby's present.. i might as well go back home and have more sleep since i'm lacking them terribly.. i might as well go home and enjoy missing my baby before i die here!

damn the stupid things that are happening rite now.. fuckers! argh! fucking pissed! and seriously sometimes i feel tat i'm being a too nice fren .. why shud i intro everyone tgt when i noe that i'll be out of the picture? never have i expect this.. and yet they say is "someone attach liao forget fren liao lor!" WTF?!?! and why do i have to light a fire for a guy and lost my seat outside zouk?! DAMN! it's a ng mo somemore KAOX! X( i cant fucking imagine i'm out here fuckin myself~ hearing al their watever excuses for being so slow in coming out.. damn! had enuff of clubbing with al the girl hooking guys who always tinks that i'm transparent here.. i feel like i'm sucha idiot~ in the past was with the 7bros who treats me like a guy.. and now i'm treated like a piece of transparency~ goodness! and wat's next? thin air? ha~

-1.17 am-

ya.. how? understand how fuck up my nite is? that's y i'm home earlier.. and i've never "abandon" my frens and came home early when we're out.. this is the first time.. so i guess i was seriously turned off.. partly moodswing ba.. having terrible PMS now and of cos missing baby so much.. =( argh~ miserable time i'm goin thru.. anyway was home at 4 and bathe and continued with baby's pressie til now.. my eyes' getting cocked so i have to stop before my fingers are gone..

cannot say too much arbo baby wil noe wat i'm gettin him haha! =p anyways.. i tink it was ytd nite.. i forgot which nite la =X i had a terrible nitemare that baby dun wan me anymore =( it was at a weird place.. some restaurant i guess.. kinda old sch lol! and i tink i was sms-ing him and his reply is like super bochup =\ thn aiya alot la thn the reason is that he likes another girl =( wahh i very cui sia~ felt like last time when i was with gary and he fell for hui.. gosh~! X( nonono~ ppl usually say dreams are opposite yea?

but of cos the opposite here means no one wil come between us and not i wil be the one fallin for someone else la! CHOY~ i wont man.. i love my baby! XD am gonna prepare some surprise for him on fri nite XD he wont see this til earliest fri nite so can say here wahaha! guess i'll cook for him hehehe~ i noe my cookin sucks.. but errr at least that's something i can make him feel "home" enough after being trap in that all-trees-island tekong ba =
ok my eyes are shutting.. off i go to slp! gotta wake up at about 12pm to buy the stuff needed for the "homely" rice lol! and thn with my nails thn continue with baby's pressie.. omg! talking bout my nails! i miss doin manicure myself man! grrrr! ever since i work at tatsu i cant even keep long nails.. damn la! super super sian.. sigh! but this week i dun care ar.. x'mas week must be pretty pretty XD anyway i dunno wat to wear for baby's family dinner on x'mas.. sighhhh~ clothes again =( it seems like a topic that turns me super off nowadays =((((((

missing u..
day 3..

accept me for who i am?
or the words at the bridge arent fully meant from heart?
-sighs- =(
my x'mas wish.. baby to accept me for who i TRULY am.. =(