Melody of my Life..

mixed emotions =X i'm happy yet stress.. tml's a special day.. it's a last min decide one anyway.. i tink i'm goin mad =X dunno y but siew say i keep smiling like a mad girl today =X and i suddenly talk to customer alot lol!! siao liao~ the smses, the cares.. it's been awhile since i felt like this.. it's weird but magical.. the wall within me is startin to break down? am i even suppose to let it break down? =
anyway i read some stuff i dun feel real gd about.. the guilt came straight up to me.. why?! dun i even have the slightest right to feel for others? dun i eve have the right to look for my true one? why muz things be this way? why hold on so tightly and get hurt? i feel like a devil now.. i did nothing wrong but stil i felt bad.. very bad.. =
recently am so damn busy that i hardly can even breathe.. yet some ppl are stil msging me stuffs that are out of my range of helps.. my sms overshoots like mad yet i'm stil heavily wasting them.. i tink next month my pay, half is directly goin to my bills.. sians.. and in the midst of this messed up lifestyle with the messed up schedule, now i got chingay! now i got so many stuffs left undone.. how am i suppose to care so much bout others?

it's not i dun wanna be there for them but thn again... choose the rite time PLEASE~ and when watever i say doesnt go in.. how am i to help?! grr.. i juz wish ppl ard them can cheer them on ba.. i cant be the one doin al these always.. i have a life of my own too.. and i've say before we live for ourselves.. this world is selfish not selfless.. dun expect everyone to be there for u when u'r in deep shit.. dun expect everyone to be so kind to lend u a helping hand when u fall.. u shud be grateful that they dun trample al over u.. u cant expect when u die on the bed, everyone to be there to listen to how sad u are rite? we come to this world alone, we leave here alone.. there's no forever companions..

in the heart, there is.. "i'll always remember u" blah blah blah~ but reality is that there isnt.. get a life and move on with life! everyone got a future ahead.. say it in a crude way.. "dun drag anyone backwards" get it? this is not for onli 1 person.. is for those whom i seriously tink needs to get a hold on themselve and depend on themselve.. i wont be here forever.. i might even turn into a bitch and walk out of everyone.. who knows? grow up pls.. i'm tired too~

the reason we broke is we cant find happiness in one another
since i found mine now.. why are u pulling me back?
why are u "complaining" on ur blog and nick?
i have to move on and let go so i can find happiness..
since u wan me to go.. thn truly let go..

make me sound like a bitch for all i care..