Melody of my Life..

had a chat with baby over the unhappy issues in our r/s : dressing.. =( but ya am glad he understands and tries to accept me for who i am.. *thanks baby* i felt like i was living in his higher world of standards, brands, materials.. and i was sturggling badly to live.. thn i asked myself.. if i can choose to live.. in this 2 world..

1) a high standard of living with rich asses, branded stuffs, nice cars, expensive daily lifestyles and get envied by almost everyone ard u..

2) a carefree life, with no worries over luxury, plain simple being ourselves and enjoying life as we are living it.. public transports.. simple foods from coffee shops or foodcourts..

which wil i choose?

i chose the 2nd one.. tat's y i say i'm juz a simple girl.. asking for nothing much but juz a happy life.. i dun need luxury.. i need juz the exact amount of cash that i can survive everyday.. even shopping dun have to be a everyday thing for me.. i noe as a girl we love shopping.. we love dolling ourselves up.. but i wont mind giving it up as long as i can be happily living carefreely..

who gave the rules of how a girl shud behave and how a guy shud behave? why cant girls be jumping ard on streets? why cant girls be doing al the "chor lor" things.. i dun mean reali chor lor til CMI but maybe things like hmm.. playing ard, sitting cross legged *when in pants* on the floor instead of a chair? why shud a girl be reali soft and sweet?

ok maybe that's wat a woman shud behave like.. but i'm juz a girl.. and i stil wan to be a girl! for at least 2 - 3 more years before i reali have to leave my sch and get into the bloody society to work =\ why cant i enjoy the last few years of "youngsters" life before i torture myself to death in the working scene =\ grrr.. i hate to grow up! =(

my dad shud have continue let me learn ballet and piano instead of letting me join netball and band la.. maybe i would have been a super sweet and soft girl by now.. not this crazy iko.. no one ard me are reali sweet and soft type.. i do have frens liddat! but definitely not close at all.. ppl say i'm very frenly and open.. i can say that's cos i'm not the soft soft type who'll juz smile shyly and juz a HI.. i'll juz come up and crap as much as i can to befren anyone cos that's my bringup..

anyway had longer chats and things seems to be clearer in anyway now =) wont say much as it's our lil secrets XP juz wish everythin turns out fine.. i noe there'll be more rubbish to overcome in the future.. it wont be easy.. it needs time.. much much more time to overcome it.. it take lotsa efforts.. sweats and tears too.. we need to understand each other's culture and bringing up.. we need to noe how to love each other the way he need and the way i need..

guess i'll stop ranting here before i go crazy and emo all over again.. ok gotta watch my pokemon!! lol =X got season one down yesh!!! XD finally! thn got the 7movies down too! whee~~ cartoons cartoons.. i wish i never have to grow up~

the insecurities..
the inferiority..
the sadness..
may al these be gone.. soon..
loving the imperfect perfectly is a perfect love..