Melody of my Life..

gettin rather emo now =\ over alot of stuff actually.. firstly.. i read my dearest eqa's blog.. and i seriously think it's damn sad for such a stupid accident to happen =( but thn again.. saw a few of her pics recently.. i tink actually she's lucky enuff.. cos her pretty face isnt much much affected.. she's so pretty la.. =) and when i saw her blog she said that her bf (i tink) sms her this "walk with pride.. you'll always be a eye candy in my eyes" i teared.. =X

i mean it's so touching!!! and ya i gotta agree.. we humans must walk with pride.. no matter wat happen, no matter how ugly we're (i dun tink anyone's ugly in anyway).. juz had supper with jie, he said i super no confidence and keep asking me to have more confidence.. haha.. oh well.. guess when u're lousy in almost everythin, u wont have any confidence to move on in life ba.. and also after ur pride has been trampled on umpteen of times.. how to have confidence?

thn felt emo over another thing as well.. regarding my dance ba.. wont say too much thou.. but it all boils down to me myself not being good enuff.. =( how to improve? hai.. i wish i'm a born dancer.. =( i wish my family supports me in dance.. i wish i'm better.. or at least as good as them..
am i even fit to be in lush?
=(

when during supper, chatted with jie alot haha.. chat about many things ar.. ex la, love la, family, frens.. blahh~ he ask me "thn u dun wan look for bf now meh?" haha gd question thou.. oh well.. my reply is "no" cos i told him.. i'm tired le ba.. and wat's more, i dun even seem to understand myself anymore now.. my wall is up and tough.. it blocks love from goin out and love from coming in as well wor.. how to love? haha.. i also dunno anymore.. i cant seem to feel..

i'm slowly dun understand myself anymore.. haha.. why am i the way i am now? haha.. i have no idea.. wat is love to me? wat is frens to me? wat is this life i'm leading? wat do i exactly wan? so wat if i grad from poly 2years later? wat job am i gonna get? how about my dream to go japan? i dun seem to be doin anything about them.. hai.. life's in a big mess wor..

the 5 C i wish for..
confidence.. (to perform watever that's given to me at my best state)
chance.. (to be expose to the industry, world and to prove my work)
courage.. (to live my life proudly)
cash.. (to improve myself as a dancer, person and as a girl)
companion.. (to help me along whenever i'm down)