"but let mi tel u even if ewan comes to hhig u will quit cos ewan talks to mi alot and he WANS the WHOLE CLUB to break good luck.. "
wat's with his assumption? he's always liddat.. "u confirm wil..." assume wat sai? so nice to assume? so wat if even if that were to happen? so wat is wat he assumes is rite? by saying al these, he already made me feel "he dun even have faith in me"
"u need to STOP being so stuck up in ur tihnking"
for the very very first time in my whole entire life.. my very own bf saying this.. haha! now thn i noe.. the guy whom i loved.. and i even willing to accept his stuck up ness is tinking that i am stuck up.. saying me stuck up.. ya i am.. wat about him? if he is not stuck up why muz he always say the word "it's a fuck up show" i mean.. if u're so damn gd to comment that others' are fuck up thn why not u show it la? show u can do a better show? organise a better event? stop waiting for oppportunities to fall onto ur lap la..
"i think u dunno how to communiCate with anyone"
how nice for ur bf to say this to u? wat else can i say? dun use the word ANYONE when there's someone i can communicate with.. if i cant communicate with ANYONE, i wont have a single fren.. haha!
"reflect on why so many pple break up with u"
when i'm running far away and hiding from the hurting wounds, he broght them up.. how damn fucking nice.. if i were to say anythin back.. i would say not al guys broke up with me.. infact i left them more thn they dumping me.. and for ur info.. they broke up with meover different reasons.. none were like urs..
"and i don wanna waste my time on u anymore"
wow.. now thn i noe.. being with me has always been a time waster for him.. haha.. no wonderhe's always tired when we were out on date.. no wonder he's always unhappy.. no wonder.. shudnt he have juz broke up with me the very first time? why wait til now? and why do i have to give our r/s another chance for this fucking hurts? he say he didnt hurt me.. wat's al the highlighted sentence i've place here thn?
"u ARE NOT CHANGE IN LO"
i never change?!?! wow wow wow~ that's the biggest hurtful thing i heard man! lol!!! why shud i tahan al his "no time for me?" why shud i keep everythin inside me? why shud i be afraid of affecting his project? why shud i even tahan my pms? why shud i sms him much more often now even thou my sms had long shoot cross the border? i didnt change?! i cant believe it..
"the overall topic is, u need to learn how to be in a relationship, be fore u can go into one."
why should one learn how to be in a r/s before goin into one? than how do one learn without even goin into a failed r/s? wat is he trying to say? lol.. and wat about him? is he that perfect to be a husband? or a boyfren? can he reali noe wat a girl wans? or rather wat every different girl wans? wil he even be able to distribute his time for his gf, work and dance? if he can.. thn why this r/s fail? why i feel so sian? why he cant make me feel so damn much in love with him? it's because he himself dunno how to be in a r/s before he goes into one.. speak for urself before u speak for me mr larry
"ur blog always make mi look like SHIT"
thn wat about his blog? haha~ do i sound like a wonderful gf in his blog? fyi.. NO..
"from ur blog, altough u nv say, u give everyone theh impression that u hate what i do"
making an ASS out of U and ME.. ASSUME AGAINNNNNNN hahahaa!!!!
"i honestly din write ANYTHING BAD until i go and try see how u react"
OMG kiddish games lol!!! the last time it happened was when i was bloody 13 -.- trust a 25 to do that..
from me: why do u care so much about wat others tink?
him: I DO!
OMG now i noe our r/s is not onli about us.. it's about everyone ard us! no wonder it's so tiring eing his gf.. have to "make him look gd" and "make myself look gd" but wat's the point of wat other cares when we ourselves aint happen in the first place??? a r/s is NOT a show to entertain ppl..
"i m finding fault in u lo"
"go write that in ur blog la"
i juz paste this cos he wan me to paste haha..
"ASHLEY"
"she ask mi to break with u"
"YES"
"she ask mi to break with u months ago"
WOW!!! biggest shock.. ashley i didnt noe u were such a GOOD and TRUSTWORTHY fren of mine.. thanks girl.. i wont forget that..
"so many pple ask mi to break with u"
"even ur friends"
as if no one ask me to break with him liddat.. how many there are man.. some even told me before we were tgt NOT to be with him.. i should have trusted them.. they noe him better.. but somehow ok la.. maybe not as bad as wat they said.. he's a nice bf.. (not for me) but ya a nice bf for girls who terribly need guys to dote on them.. girls who're extremely sticky to their bf but am ok with their bf being so damn busy the guy got no time for her.. materialistic girls would LOVE him like mad..
"we're fucking not made for each other."
i've said that before.. he dun trust me.. asking me to tink over our r/s again.. asking me to tink carefully whether i reali wan to end it reali wan to give up ornt.. thn now?
me: you dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me
him: i didnt hurt u.. i even tinking of having "affairs" with someone and make u hate me
NONSENSE! if u wan a new gf juz go ahead la.. wan some sexual satisfaction thn go ahead la.. dun take this as an excuse or made me feel worst.. i dun fucking care..
juz by this conversation alone.. i felt very very hurt.. not because he left me.. but because.. my fren.. my one fren whom i considered my best fren.. betrayed me.. thanks ash! and i didnt noe being with me is a time waster for him.. i didnt noe him never even notice my change for him or rather my attempt to change.. i didnt noe he tinks i can communicate with NOBODY.. i didnt noe our r/s consist of wat other tinks and not onli ourselves.. i didnt noe i wil be scolded stuck up by a stuck up person.. and of cos.. i'm hurt because that fucker (i reali meant FUCKER) brought up my past wounds.. juz when i'm runnign far from it he brings it back into my face.. gd job larry.. u tink by doin these wil make me a better person? NO.. u're juz making hating guys more and more shutting more doors.. u always say u wil help me.. slowly bit by bit.. this is NOT helping.. dun say and do nothing bout it.. and dun say watever bullshit rainbow promises in the first place when u cant even keep them.. dun make empty promises.. dun make the world of ours sound so nice and crush it with ur own bloody temper..
from now on.. life for me is dance and studies.. lookin for a new bf? NO.. not at all now.. i Hate GUYS.. I HATE BASTARDS WHO CANT KEEP PROMISES.. i hate guys who're selfish.. vega's rite.. guys are bastards.. they call us sluts when they themselves make us one.. i didnt say he did call me or wat but i'm juz stating a general line.. i hate guys who treat us like gems at first and rubbish in the end.. i hate ppl who cant share my joy.. i hate ppl who hurt me.. i hate i hate and i hate.. i shall be single and love my mum.. no one loves me is ok.. i'm used to it.. and since he say til i'm such a lousy gf thn why shud i risk getting into another r/s? since he say i'm such a lousy stuck up person, why should i get close to anymore guys? since he keep tinking i wont change, why shud i try to change? i'll juz be me.. me me and me.. get out and get lost.. anyone tries to play ard with my tag one more time i wil totally shut myself off the world.. it's ok.. juz a password on my blog is fine.. i dun nid everyone to read my blog.. and get high and start creating trouble al over.. leave me alone bitches and bastards..
the last nice words from him that didnt came in time..
Hope when she reads this (if she ever reads my blog..), she would be reading with a very happy heart and the Champion Title..
Good luck, to her, and myself.
u dun have to hurt me even if u stop loving me..
one last cry
after tonite, everythin wil be new, a new me, a new life..
seeking nothing but truth in life
get away if u're not true
dun come close for i bite
just a few thing i didnt have the time to use them or finish creating them.. this is a blog skin created but haven tyet used but it cant be use anymore..
and this is juz a "photo frame" which i did LONG ago but yet cant find any pic to fit into it.. oh well
the happy one last meal.. even thou i am angry.. stil i have to say.. these 4 months were great thou there's up and down.. stil i felt loved.. stil i once felt i was the happiest girl on earth.. stil.............
thank you
god bless..