Melody of my Life..

11th november 2006

went for lush's step up comp finals at lido.. wohoo~ they got champion! XD expected from lush la wahaha~ *humblehumble* after that striahgt to esplanade for practise for chingay finals.. were slacking like MAD la -.- cos we were waiting for amshah and syam.. they reach at bout 11plus -.- so we juz slack abit, dance abit.. everything's well la..

practise officially starts at about 12 til 3plus.. tired sia.. but was much better thn the prelims' overnite session lol =X cos maybe we already got our steps done and somehow clean up le ma =) after that took NR home.. very long ride sia!!! walao ehh -.- wanted to slp on bus but scared overshot lol =X and i very selenge.. the NR got reach til my house downstairs directly thqt stop end up i alight at khatib mrt -.- walk so far sia rahh!

12th november 2006

chingay finals.. was a slackish day after all.. compare to the prelims.. we were much more slack, much more not prepared =X everything's in a rush lol =X lush/rush sound alike ehh?? =X everyone was late -.- me, vega, fil and ash was the earliest.. we went to eat thn go over le.. did our make up when the rest arrived at about 2plus.. late ehh?! rahh! nice make up we have XD blue glitter and light blue eye shadow.. white and blue "blingbling" costume lol =X

first time in my life i never tie hair or do anything to my hair for shows sia lol.. shiok lei actually.. but the stupid lipgloss ar.. rahh keep sticking the hair on -.- but shiok la hehe.. i dance til last song i "lao hong" lol =X no energy hahaha! but the comments were gd la.. other thn the energy thing =X we look synchronised even if there's 12 of us o the tiny stage -.- and the fast like mad running beats lol..

blockings were much better thn prelims (FOR SURE) lol =X definitely thou i lao hong at the last song, my energy improve.. cos prelims i lao hong at 3rd song lol =X the results were damn shocking and i purely believe it's plain bias.. but hor if bias thn lush wouldnt have gotten even top 3 le lei =\ dunno la.. but how can the results be liddat?!?! how can my dearest street soulz never get in?! how can NYP nv get in?! how can SFB never get in?!?!!?!?!? i dun understand man..

even the crowd response was damn funny lol =X and i heard someone from my ou xiang crew SS, telling kim that "i thot u al wil win sia!!!" lol =X so happy to hear from ppl i admire XD if onli can hear from gin ar i tell u.. i FAINT on the spot lol =X but stil, i'm very very happy i got lush.. even thou we're 3rd, lush had made me very happy today ^^ my first compw ith lush. a 3rd.. i muz work harder and better.. energy training, expression training, lines traning.. and most impt! JIANFEI!! lol =X

i'm stil very proud that lush manage to get 3rd.. at least a third.. some even tell us "u guys are the champs to us" haha so sweet ^^ but to me also.. lush is always the champions =) being sucha great dancer, yet a humble and nice fren.. how else more can i ask for? someone who cares for one another.. not onli in dance wise.. in personal health, personal emotions.. where else can u find al these?? i'm so lucky!!! XD

reali wanna thank lush for making my first comp a happy one.. ^^ thank hakim for the push.. thou mentally breakdown ar.. but yea it's a good one that push me to move on further.. thank dee, mel for encouraging me when i'm down.. thank emi, nikz for the consoling words, thank those who look down on me, saying i'm not fit to be in lush, not fit to be a dancer.. because of ur hurtful words, u've made me wanna improve more and show u wat a hardworkin but no talent person can do.. thank to my bf.. for being there..

speaking bout him.. he's not there today.. =( hais.. oh well.. wat else can i say? complain? forget it.. everyone ask me "where's larry" i feel like juz avoiding thid topic la.. i mean.. i'm sian enuff.. when he dun even believe we can win instead believing someone else can win.. he's usually not there for me when i got practises, he's not there for my finals.. i cant share my happiness with him.. al these.. i juz wish not to talk about it anymore la.. i dun blame him, i dun blame anyone.. juz can blame myself for being so suay lor.. some ppl even ask me "u al no more le ar?" haha.. we're stil tgt la.. but wat's the diff? i dun feel like a attached girl at all man.. except for having to tink of the other party blahh blahh blahh..

ah PMS's acting up guess i shud shut up and go.. dun wanna talk more bout it and turn my day from happy to fucking sian.. lalala.. nite

wat is it i'm feeling?
why shud i get jealous when seeing my frens and their bf?
why i feel no one shares my joy?
why is it that my own bf doesnt believe even in me?
why are we tgt then???