Melody of my Life..

wenta dance at esplanade today.. hmm well didnt dance much.. did more of positioning.. lucky enuff could find ppl for 23rd's show after being bastard by some irresponsible ppl.. talkin bout them makes my blood boil.. ah watever..

anyway today LUSH wanted us to join them lol!!!! stressful lei!!! but hor.. tink it might be a gd thing thou.. they're gd.. they noe so much more thn us as well.. i mean.. ok to be fair.. technically we might noe more thn them.. business brain in dance industry, i dare to say they got much more research thn us =)

i see the way lala teach emi.. reali stress sia.. =\ now i noe why we're forever this lousy.. they're fun ppl too lol!! everytime "IKO IKO" -_______- but well.. me n emi stil considering la.. after seekin advice from lester.. we're abit shaken thou =\ aiyo.. so ma fan sia.. well.. no choice ba.. this is wat we wan.. =)

woots.. suddenly so many things for me sia lol!! well.. the spliting of VIP maybe a blessin in disguise ba =) i read her blog.. wow she said she tried to change.. DID SHE??? too bad i dun see it.. TOOO BADDD! and stop sayin we wont learn or blah blah blah.. i admit yes u r older so wat?? that dun mean u been thru more thn me.. i can firmly say one thing.. i went thru as much as u.. maybe i went thru things that were WORST!

u say we dun understand u al.. hey tink y we dun.. wan me to tell u? 1st.. u al NEVER tell us anythin.. 2nd.. have u al TRIED to spend more time with us as FRENS n not DANCEMATES? u expect us to noe which phase of life u're at now?? no way..

mikal told emi this "we also gt our own lives ma.." ok wat he meant is they too have other stuffs other thn dance.. true.. who dun?? but pls.. at times when things are critical pls noe how to put them priority can?? for heaven's sake! well.. he say i'm too overpowerin.. well tat's my way of workin.. if u dun like it forget it..

for ur info many other ppl wish i'll push them more.. i wanna push u guys is cos u guys are my crew.. we're a crew! if i dun push my crew who'll i push?? in fact i did not push hard already lor.. join other gd crews n see for urself.. oh sorry.. typo.. shud be we WERE a crew.. =)

-after these few days of seeing how street soul, lush and some other gd crew practise.. i finally noe the reason for our weakness.. i finally noe why we never improve.. and i finally understand why others dun need instructors while we wil die if we dun have one..-

anyway i'm missing them fuckin much now =( emi shud noe who i'm talkin about ba.. hais.. i realise i'm so cold blooded towards anyone or anythin now =\ life to me now.. is al about money, fame, success.. no more impt frenship.. no more dreams..

no i shud rephrase it.. last time.. my dream was to be a dancer.. to be able to stand up the international stage with my crew.. any crew that may be at that point of time.. to be able to do my mum proud.. to be able to do *l**er proud.. to be able to do anyone ard me proud..

now.. my dream is.. to be famous.. to earn big bucks.. get the envy of everyone.. thrash anyone that's lousier.. and live in my own world.. with ppl who're in my world.. now to me.. everythin's about myself.. no one else.. guess i finally noe wat's the word selfish..

i dunno y am i changed liddat.. but al i noe is my world crashed.. after certain incident happened.. and i'm changed.. no longer xinwei.. no longer the xinwei who'll care for everyne of my frens.. no longer the xinwei who noes wat is feelings.. no longer the xinwei who care about the word "hurt".. no more..

-my msn nick is dedicated to the special ones in ym life now n always..-