another mix feelin day -_-
today to me was reali a wonerful wonderful day~!!! haha but at nite during dance abit spoile la =\ damn happy lol~!
The only angry thing..
today when practising for tml's performance ir eali angry like mad.. =\ cos fei er keep showin attitude.. kaox lor.. i mean u r tired i noe.. but i also wat.. everyone is lo.. i ZzZz for like 3 hours onli and i have to go for dance when i'm like damn sick.. i didnt complain yet u liddat.. she say she dun feel like dancin tml.. wat is it man!! wanna drag the whole of VIP down?! because of u we have to redo the formation? we're there tryin very hard to push our time slot later so tat al of us can perform..and there u r giving trouble???? cant believe it.. so wat if u r sad.. wat bout ash? she feel worst rite.. she can be so strong n faithful to us y cant u.. and wat bout erika.. tink.. she's damn unwell.. yet her heart is stil with VIP and she stil came today.. thou she cant dance.. but she's there to give us the encouragement we need.. and i'm reali grateful to her.. she's sick n bz yet she stil try her best to do things for VIP.. u tink urself la.. i dun wanna say much le.. if u r that weak.. forget it.. i dun wan a weak person with us.. i mean we're tryin to help everyone.. thou we're al bz n tired but we dun wanna demoralised anyone.. so we make the effort.. look at urself ok.. damn disappointed with u..
HAPPY~!!!! =D
today went to dear's sch to acc him =) was very happy when he didnt leave me to sisi.. heex.. he say i'm bored there.. but actually not la.. i'm happy juz to be beside him.. reali.. not bored at al.. somemore i like science ma thn can see wat they doin also.. thou abit blurr la lol~! too chim for me.. but quite interestin.. haha~! it's juz so sweet to be there lo.. haha~! i nv thot this way b4 that i'll be juz so happy.. it's juz the simple things tat make me happy haha~ the happiest is when he hug me~!!! OMG~ i faint~! lol~! and his kisses.. wah i swear i miss them like HELL~!!! heehee.. didnt thot his proj wil drag til so late til ard 5+.. actually wanna apend time with him de.. but nvm la =) i'm stil happy.. heex.. he keep askin me to eat.. cos i sick no appetite.. i 3days nv eat le plus today is 4th lol~! =\ but not i dun wanna eat is reali cant eat.. eat le wanna vomit =\ argh~! nvm la.. wil recover de.. take it as the foundation for me to slim down ba lol~!! when i slim abit i'll wanna maintain it so.. better this way haha~! but tml muz eat! if nt sure faint on stage lol!! wil try to eat at least abit la.. he very sweet wor acc me to city hall =) even thou he's reali tired.. hmm.. see him so tired also heartpain =\ wish i can do more.. nvm la i'll juz be there for him.. give him massage when he's tired.. oh ya.. he stil got headache.. OMG~ hurhur.. hope he'll get well very soon.. best is immediate~!!! lol!! ahhhhhh i'm simply so happy today!!! wahahahahahahahaha~!!!!!!!!!!! =D
Friday, December 30, 2005
Roller coaster..
we had a chat over the phone.. i feel so gd when he called me.. the feelin is OMG =D and i reali smiled.. that brought me on earth.. thn sudeenly we chat bout some unhappy stuffs.. and he wanna leave me.. that brought me to hell.. but i manage to keep him back.. and that brought me to heaven.. and after the long chat, it brought me back to earth again.. i told myself.. i cannot stay in heaven.. cos i need to be very realistic now.. i love him very very much.. i cannot let him go.. =\ i cant afford to let someone who can make me truly smile go.. i knwo i'm selfish.. but wat to do.. cos i also believe i can make him truly smile again.. i dun wanna rush anythin now.. i juz wish he'll stay n see for himself.. i noe he misses her and i can accept tat.. i'm not tryin to play hero or wat.. but tat's reali wat i mean.. even if it takes months or even years.. i'll stay with him.. i am tat sincere.. now there's this chance again and i'm reali reali grateful.. i know it's unfair to him.. but i juz cannot let go la.. aiyo.. dunno how to say.. haha~ but one thing i am very sure.. i'm better at controllin my feelins now.. cos i didnt cry n get emo when this happen.. i did cry abit but that's when he keep sayin that 2 word.. i dun wanna say it here cos i hate that words..! i'll work my very best for him.. i wanna be a perfect gf.. i said this the very day we are tgt.. and am stil holdin very tightly n firmly to it now.. i am learning.. pls give me more time.. i am learnin alot.. i'll prove to him tat i'm the better one.. i'm the one that can truly make him smile.. cos i accept him for who he is.. i dun wan n never wanna change him.. know the lyrics for "stay the same"? "dun u ever wish u were someone else.. u were meant to be the way u r exactly.. dun u ever say u dun dun like the way u r.. cos when u learn to love urself, u're better off by far.. and i hope u'll always stay the same.. cos there's nothin bout u i would change.." when i told him i supprt him in ridin.. he dun believe.. =\ but i reali do la~! alamak~ i mean.. i myself do have my passion n dreams.. i never wan anyone to stop me from doin it.. so of cos i know how he feels.. thou i'll feel heartpain when he falls n get injured n get fedup when he cant do some moves.. but i'll juz be there for him.. cos it's unavoidable.. u pay for ur dreams.. i too pay for my dreams.. for my dance.. for a happy life and for my happiness with him.. i'm willlin.. to juz love him and be there for him whenever he's down or needs me.. i dun ask for much but juz his love.. that's al.. he dun have to show it to the world.. but as long as the feelings is there i'm glad enough.. reali.. i can accept him for who he truly is.. but can she? NO i suppose.. i wont scold him for anythin.. at the most say him.. not scold.. never wil i vent my anger on him.. sisi juz told me this.. "i remember why i first like him.. cos he made me happy.. and tat's the way i should keep it.." i tink it's rather true.. to me n to him both.. i wanna say sorry for makin him big head n sad.. but i promise i wont again.. and i blog here is not for anyone to read actually.. i juz wanna keep a diary.. i know he reads this almost everyday.. but dear.. i never wanted to express my feelings this way to u.. i swear! i tell u everythin i feel.. be it sad or happy or angry.. but sometimes it's hard to say it out when i'm at the climax of my feelings.. i wil tell them to u.. juz need more time.. dun tink i dun tell u ok.. i'm very transparent to u.. (not a transparency hor~ lol) but yes.. i love u.. trust u and tells u al.. i'll tell it to ur face!!! wahahaha~! ;p anyway i took time to tink again.. i muz be grateful for this chance.. i muz cherish it! learning many new things now.. and hope it'll help in me n his r/s.. cos i reali feel there's hope in us.. there's a future.. cos i noe.. i'm wat he need n he's wat i need.. (sorry huh abit thick-skin.. haha) anyway.. tml's a better day!!! glad we talk things out today.. felt so much better le.. we should talk more! i'll bug him til he faint lol!!! ;p
we had a chat over the phone.. i feel so gd when he called me.. the feelin is OMG =D and i reali smiled.. that brought me on earth.. thn sudeenly we chat bout some unhappy stuffs.. and he wanna leave me.. that brought me to hell.. but i manage to keep him back.. and that brought me to heaven.. and after the long chat, it brought me back to earth again.. i told myself.. i cannot stay in heaven.. cos i need to be very realistic now.. i love him very very much.. i cannot let him go.. =\ i cant afford to let someone who can make me truly smile go.. i knwo i'm selfish.. but wat to do.. cos i also believe i can make him truly smile again.. i dun wanna rush anythin now.. i juz wish he'll stay n see for himself.. i noe he misses her and i can accept tat.. i'm not tryin to play hero or wat.. but tat's reali wat i mean.. even if it takes months or even years.. i'll stay with him.. i am tat sincere.. now there's this chance again and i'm reali reali grateful.. i know it's unfair to him.. but i juz cannot let go la.. aiyo.. dunno how to say.. haha~ but one thing i am very sure.. i'm better at controllin my feelins now.. cos i didnt cry n get emo when this happen.. i did cry abit but that's when he keep sayin that 2 word.. i dun wanna say it here cos i hate that words..! i'll work my very best for him.. i wanna be a perfect gf.. i said this the very day we are tgt.. and am stil holdin very tightly n firmly to it now.. i am learning.. pls give me more time.. i am learnin alot.. i'll prove to him tat i'm the better one.. i'm the one that can truly make him smile.. cos i accept him for who he is.. i dun wan n never wanna change him.. know the lyrics for "stay the same"? "dun u ever wish u were someone else.. u were meant to be the way u r exactly.. dun u ever say u dun dun like the way u r.. cos when u learn to love urself, u're better off by far.. and i hope u'll always stay the same.. cos there's nothin bout u i would change.." when i told him i supprt him in ridin.. he dun believe.. =\ but i reali do la~! alamak~ i mean.. i myself do have my passion n dreams.. i never wan anyone to stop me from doin it.. so of cos i know how he feels.. thou i'll feel heartpain when he falls n get injured n get fedup when he cant do some moves.. but i'll juz be there for him.. cos it's unavoidable.. u pay for ur dreams.. i too pay for my dreams.. for my dance.. for a happy life and for my happiness with him.. i'm willlin.. to juz love him and be there for him whenever he's down or needs me.. i dun ask for much but juz his love.. that's al.. he dun have to show it to the world.. but as long as the feelings is there i'm glad enough.. reali.. i can accept him for who he truly is.. but can she? NO i suppose.. i wont scold him for anythin.. at the most say him.. not scold.. never wil i vent my anger on him.. sisi juz told me this.. "i remember why i first like him.. cos he made me happy.. and tat's the way i should keep it.." i tink it's rather true.. to me n to him both.. i wanna say sorry for makin him big head n sad.. but i promise i wont again.. and i blog here is not for anyone to read actually.. i juz wanna keep a diary.. i know he reads this almost everyday.. but dear.. i never wanted to express my feelings this way to u.. i swear! i tell u everythin i feel.. be it sad or happy or angry.. but sometimes it's hard to say it out when i'm at the climax of my feelings.. i wil tell them to u.. juz need more time.. dun tink i dun tell u ok.. i'm very transparent to u.. (not a transparency hor~ lol) but yes.. i love u.. trust u and tells u al.. i'll tell it to ur face!!! wahahaha~! ;p anyway i took time to tink again.. i muz be grateful for this chance.. i muz cherish it! learning many new things now.. and hope it'll help in me n his r/s.. cos i reali feel there's hope in us.. there's a future.. cos i noe.. i'm wat he need n he's wat i need.. (sorry huh abit thick-skin.. haha) anyway.. tml's a better day!!! glad we talk things out today.. felt so much better le.. we should talk more! i'll bug him til he faint lol!!! ;p
Thursday, December 29, 2005
...(_-_)...
suddenly damn sick sia.. last few days cough n sore throat nia dunno why today ultimate K.O~! my god.. fainting very soon.. today weather damn cold n wet.. hope boy's ok and wont catch a cold.. =\ hmmm thou i got $0 today but i very happy to spend my day liddat haha~ since no appetite so no nid to spend money on food.. can save! yay! very tired ar.. but dunno why juz cant ZzZz.. wanna wait for someone's call lalala~! haha.. ;p my boy boy~ miss him so much~!! cant wait to hear his voice wahahaha~! ok i'm mad.. i go rest and wait for his call le.. buaizzz~!
suddenly damn sick sia.. last few days cough n sore throat nia dunno why today ultimate K.O~! my god.. fainting very soon.. today weather damn cold n wet.. hope boy's ok and wont catch a cold.. =\ hmmm thou i got $0 today but i very happy to spend my day liddat haha~ since no appetite so no nid to spend money on food.. can save! yay! very tired ar.. but dunno why juz cant ZzZz.. wanna wait for someone's call lalala~! haha.. ;p my boy boy~ miss him so much~!! cant wait to hear his voice wahahaha~! ok i'm mad.. i go rest and wait for his call le.. buaizzz~!
It's Been 4 Years..
time reali flies.. come to tink of it.. it had been 4years since my godbro Khimchuan left me =( remember that time reali cried like siao.. hmm reali mis him so much.. wil never forget the last day i saw him b4 he left us.. we played so much in sch.. haix.. hmm.. and i'll never forget the dream that i had afew days after he left.. i dreamtthat i came to this grassy patch.. it was at nite.. the sky was dark but filled with stars.. it's reali beautiful.. thn i saw a shooting star.. thn suddenly i see his face in the sky.. and he told me this.. "be happy my dearest xinwei.. i never wanna see u sad.. dun cry for me cos i had not leave u.. remember to protect yourself more and think for yourself.." something liddat la.. thn when i woke up.. my tears is like river.. hmm.. maybe is after thn i start to fall in love with stars so much ba.. everytime i look at stars, my mood changes.. my load lightens.. =) maybe gor is there in heaven watchin over me ba.. tellin me to smile always n be happy no matter wat happens.. when he left me.. i reali got the "cherish your life!" thots.. it's like he got his dreams.. he got his passion and everythin.. but he cant fulfill them.. he dun have the chance to.. so now i have it.. i must cherish it.. everythin i do i give my 100%.. if not thn dun do it.. suddenly miss so many things today.. miss dawa as well.. my dearest puppy.. miss his nonsense n snores.. haha~ tink he should be a BIG dog now le ba.. hope he's leadin a gd life now.. carefree n have things to eat! he loves to eat! haha.. hmm.. tink about past reali feels so.. memorable.. it's like.. wah.. look.. i've travelled this far.. and been thru so much shit.. thou those times sux.. but it's wat that makes me stronger each time.. =) i'm definitely much stronger thn ever ba.. and am stil growing.. =) but my mind shall stay pure n innocent.. not naive but innocent.. dun wanna have BIGGGG dreams.. but little ones wil do.. i'm a easily satisfied person.. =) i dun expect alot from anythin or anyone.. as long as i'm happy.. and everyone's happy.. tat's enough le.. i dun have much stress now.. maybe cos i'm leadin a rather carefree life now ba.. no works no exams.. but soon i'll be havin stress le lol! cos 2006's comin and i'm gonna get into a sch!! haha~! muz study more.. this one full year had been a rather full one for me.. thou i've been slackin my time thru but i've learn ALOT! and experience ALOT too~! actually i'm reali glad that i'm becomin more n more happy each day.. esp now when new years' comin.. it's like a new me a new start.. everythin starts again.. =) i realise alot of things i never know.. haha.. rather happy la.. =) i'm gonna continue my life with a light heart.. juz be happy and nothin else reali matters.. today i'm gonna survive with $0 haha.. but guess i'll stil be happy.. cos i'm gonna make myself happy.. =) wil blog again tonite..
time reali flies.. come to tink of it.. it had been 4years since my godbro Khimchuan left me =( remember that time reali cried like siao.. hmm reali mis him so much.. wil never forget the last day i saw him b4 he left us.. we played so much in sch.. haix.. hmm.. and i'll never forget the dream that i had afew days after he left.. i dreamtthat i came to this grassy patch.. it was at nite.. the sky was dark but filled with stars.. it's reali beautiful.. thn i saw a shooting star.. thn suddenly i see his face in the sky.. and he told me this.. "be happy my dearest xinwei.. i never wanna see u sad.. dun cry for me cos i had not leave u.. remember to protect yourself more and think for yourself.." something liddat la.. thn when i woke up.. my tears is like river.. hmm.. maybe is after thn i start to fall in love with stars so much ba.. everytime i look at stars, my mood changes.. my load lightens.. =) maybe gor is there in heaven watchin over me ba.. tellin me to smile always n be happy no matter wat happens.. when he left me.. i reali got the "cherish your life!" thots.. it's like he got his dreams.. he got his passion and everythin.. but he cant fulfill them.. he dun have the chance to.. so now i have it.. i must cherish it.. everythin i do i give my 100%.. if not thn dun do it.. suddenly miss so many things today.. miss dawa as well.. my dearest puppy.. miss his nonsense n snores.. haha~ tink he should be a BIG dog now le ba.. hope he's leadin a gd life now.. carefree n have things to eat! he loves to eat! haha.. hmm.. tink about past reali feels so.. memorable.. it's like.. wah.. look.. i've travelled this far.. and been thru so much shit.. thou those times sux.. but it's wat that makes me stronger each time.. =) i'm definitely much stronger thn ever ba.. and am stil growing.. =) but my mind shall stay pure n innocent.. not naive but innocent.. dun wanna have BIGGGG dreams.. but little ones wil do.. i'm a easily satisfied person.. =) i dun expect alot from anythin or anyone.. as long as i'm happy.. and everyone's happy.. tat's enough le.. i dun have much stress now.. maybe cos i'm leadin a rather carefree life now ba.. no works no exams.. but soon i'll be havin stress le lol! cos 2006's comin and i'm gonna get into a sch!! haha~! muz study more.. this one full year had been a rather full one for me.. thou i've been slackin my time thru but i've learn ALOT! and experience ALOT too~! actually i'm reali glad that i'm becomin more n more happy each day.. esp now when new years' comin.. it's like a new me a new start.. everythin starts again.. =) i realise alot of things i never know.. haha.. rather happy la.. =) i'm gonna continue my life with a light heart.. juz be happy and nothin else reali matters.. today i'm gonna survive with $0 haha.. but guess i'll stil be happy.. cos i'm gonna make myself happy.. =) wil blog again tonite..
Shiokanathan~!
today's simply so damn great!! maybe abit od downs at first but ok la wont wanna talk bout it.. bleah bleah bleah~ haha i'm juz so happy n relax.. it's reali a cosy cosy kinda feelin =) let me slowly share with you ba.. =)
Sisi..
sorry ar darlin.. i cant acc u to MOS today.. reali dn have the gd feelin to club.. i mean club is for fun for celebration ma.. but no mood eh.. heex.. lucky i didnt went ar.. lalala~ u say it sux rite.. lol! but sorry la.. dun wanna leave u alone de but i juz wanna dance today as in not the clubbin kinda dance la.. lol~! juz wanna enjoy a relax day out =) and be strong k girl! i noe now u very confuse.. but be firm of wat u wan.. humans are greedy creatures.. trust me.. pull back ba.. jiayou u can do it de!!!! i'll be there for u whenever u need me!! and thanks for bein there for me today! damn happy u did that =) oh yea.. jun yi.. happy bday~!!! thou i noe he wont read my blog la.. but nvm la i got wish can liao lol!!!
Shir..
i meet shir earlier today.. hmmm perhaps to catch up with her ba.. it's been a long time since we last reali chatted n have fun.. kinda miss it =) she's reali one person that can make my day so bright!! lol! funny girl man!! today i called her b4 i left my house.. thn she's like "hurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! u r stil at home??????" lol her reaction reali funny sia!! -faints- we watched boa's video cos she brought her lappy ma.. warao she hor.. make me so jealous now..! cos boa's figure damnnnnnnn gd sia!!! waliew waliew! nvm i'll slim down de.. GAMBATE!!!! but reali felt gd bein with her la.. so fun n crazy.. thou it's abit OVER la.. but stil felt gd lo.. haha!
Clover Babes..
suddenly sharon sms me ask "wanna meet for supper?" my first reaction is "OMG" cos it's been like ages since we reali sit down n crap lol!! bing joined us too.. i'm juz so happy lo!! thou was very tired after dance but was reali happy n i tell myself "it's a die-muz-go one!!" lol~ juz a simple meal n chat is reali gd enough.. thou wil get fatter la -_-''' but nvm la.. for them, i'm willin! lol! so drama huh.. =) we chatted alot.. we met at bout 11+ at city hall thn our mouth go non-stop til 5am.. wahaha~! so nice!!! =D babes.. meet up more often ok! even is late nites.. i wont mind.. if i happen to be ZzZz, DRAG ME OUT!! lol!!! cos i simply wanna spend time with u girls!!! -muacks-
Emi..
she got abit of family issues with her mum.. so she dun wanna stay home thn she wanna meet us earlier.. but hor.. she reach at bout 6+ la.. so nt much diff thou lol~! nvm.. VIP's trend.. LATE~!!! haha~ she seem abit moody but stil ok la.. stil as crappy as ever haha~ and she had abit of tiff with her boy la.. =\ so i talk to her lo.. to let her noe that sometimes girls have to give in as well.. they're our BF not slaves.. she's abit too princes le.. but it's juz her.. si i juz talk to her la.. as in advice lo.. like dun be so hard on him too.. he had given in to her alot!! and i tink he reali loves her la.. i hope i'm nt wrong this time.. =) jiayou ba emi!! u can de.. cherish him ok.. i know i've said this like billions of time la lol~ but yea.. CHERISH!!!! smile k girl =)
Ash..
baobei ash baobei ash! my poor girl.. she n her bf broke up =( maybe that's the not-so-nice ting today ba.. hmmm they got not enough time for one another.. but actually to me.. i tink if the trust n feelins is stil there, things'll work out naturally.. God ain't cruel yea.. he'll definitely help.. so girl.. dun be sad ok.. i see u today so shag i heart "piang" sia =\ ur eyes are so swollen =\ dun cry anymore k baobei! u stil got us!! and even if they leave u, i'll always be here.. and i mean it! so SMILE!!! -huggs-
Dear Boy..
guess tis is the best part ba.. haha~! i juz feel so luck that i've got him.. =) he's so sweet.. when i reach citilink, i wan a hug.. so we hugged =) heex.. thn when me n shir was watchin video at another side, he came n see see.. haha but reali sweet to like "didnt expect" him to be bside me.. and yet when i turn, he's there =) i juz like it =) thn while we were restin after dance, i saw him sitting at a side lookin rather sian.. =\ of cos i went over la.. thn see how's he lo.. hmm he's so sian.. dunno y also.. hope he's ok ba.. ytd he's sick hurhur!! hope he'll be better le! thn i tried to cheer him up la.. thn when i was restin my chin against his knee, he sayang my head! OMG! -faint faint faint- so sweet la!!!!!!!!! lol! thn cos i sweat alot ma thn he took his shirt to wipe my hair.. ARGH damn sweet of him!! thn he tried to make me not so hot by blowin at me lo.. haha sweet hor sweet hor! lalala i gt a sweetie pie! =P thn cos my butt is wet -_-''' it's the sweat la.. warao thn got BIG patch lol! thn he fan for me too.. but he hor take the towel smack my butt! #$%*^%!!! lol! but fun la.. haha! when he held my hands.. i faint.. lol! reali la.. heartbeat like "bombombom" damn fast! haha! juz liddat is enough man.. i'm happy enough.. nv felt so relax before.. =) thanks boy! i love u!!! -muacks-
The happy walk-home..
i walk home al the way from yishun lol!! shiokkkkk man! at first quite scared cos the road damn dark n quiet.. but that's wat i wan also la lol!! thn i juz walk lo.. wah the sky tonite is damn pretty!!! there's so many stars~!!! i "talked" to them when i was walkin n listening to Xing Xing Zhi Huo.. wah so relax!!! it's like throw everythin behind me n juz relax.. enjoy the stars~!!! it's a long walk but reali relaxin! enjoy it man!!! now i know.. tims spent alone might not be a bad thing thou.. =) i used to tink whenever u're alone, it's loneliness.. but now i realise that it's not totally tat way.. depends on how u see it.. look at it positively.. and u'll be surprised!! =)
My guiding star?..
ususally there wont any stars outside my window recently la.. thn today there's ALOT!!! but a extreme brught one was there.. and i'm like OMG~! damn nice~! i look at them n prayed to God.. to let me keep tis happiness.. and everythin that i have now.. they're juz too precious!!! every single thing!!! my frens, my boy, my mummy, my dance, my life..! most importantly.. my smile!!! yea.. damn happy today.. hopefully this kinda days wil keep comin back =) tml gonna go find dear at his place =) yay~! haha.. juz another sweet day to acc him again =) it's been a few days since we last spend time tgt alone le.. juz wish to spend more time with him b4 he start sch again.. yea.. happy happy happy.. ZzzZzZzZzzzzzzzz..
today's simply so damn great!! maybe abit od downs at first but ok la wont wanna talk bout it.. bleah bleah bleah~ haha i'm juz so happy n relax.. it's reali a cosy cosy kinda feelin =) let me slowly share with you ba.. =)
Sisi..
sorry ar darlin.. i cant acc u to MOS today.. reali dn have the gd feelin to club.. i mean club is for fun for celebration ma.. but no mood eh.. heex.. lucky i didnt went ar.. lalala~ u say it sux rite.. lol! but sorry la.. dun wanna leave u alone de but i juz wanna dance today as in not the clubbin kinda dance la.. lol~! juz wanna enjoy a relax day out =) and be strong k girl! i noe now u very confuse.. but be firm of wat u wan.. humans are greedy creatures.. trust me.. pull back ba.. jiayou u can do it de!!!! i'll be there for u whenever u need me!! and thanks for bein there for me today! damn happy u did that =) oh yea.. jun yi.. happy bday~!!! thou i noe he wont read my blog la.. but nvm la i got wish can liao lol!!!
Shir..
i meet shir earlier today.. hmmm perhaps to catch up with her ba.. it's been a long time since we last reali chatted n have fun.. kinda miss it =) she's reali one person that can make my day so bright!! lol! funny girl man!! today i called her b4 i left my house.. thn she's like "hurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! u r stil at home??????" lol her reaction reali funny sia!! -faints- we watched boa's video cos she brought her lappy ma.. warao she hor.. make me so jealous now..! cos boa's figure damnnnnnnn gd sia!!! waliew waliew! nvm i'll slim down de.. GAMBATE!!!! but reali felt gd bein with her la.. so fun n crazy.. thou it's abit OVER la.. but stil felt gd lo.. haha!
Clover Babes..
suddenly sharon sms me ask "wanna meet for supper?" my first reaction is "OMG" cos it's been like ages since we reali sit down n crap lol!! bing joined us too.. i'm juz so happy lo!! thou was very tired after dance but was reali happy n i tell myself "it's a die-muz-go one!!" lol~ juz a simple meal n chat is reali gd enough.. thou wil get fatter la -_-''' but nvm la.. for them, i'm willin! lol! so drama huh.. =) we chatted alot.. we met at bout 11+ at city hall thn our mouth go non-stop til 5am.. wahaha~! so nice!!! =D babes.. meet up more often ok! even is late nites.. i wont mind.. if i happen to be ZzZz, DRAG ME OUT!! lol!!! cos i simply wanna spend time with u girls!!! -muacks-
Emi..
she got abit of family issues with her mum.. so she dun wanna stay home thn she wanna meet us earlier.. but hor.. she reach at bout 6+ la.. so nt much diff thou lol~! nvm.. VIP's trend.. LATE~!!! haha~ she seem abit moody but stil ok la.. stil as crappy as ever haha~ and she had abit of tiff with her boy la.. =\ so i talk to her lo.. to let her noe that sometimes girls have to give in as well.. they're our BF not slaves.. she's abit too princes le.. but it's juz her.. si i juz talk to her la.. as in advice lo.. like dun be so hard on him too.. he had given in to her alot!! and i tink he reali loves her la.. i hope i'm nt wrong this time.. =) jiayou ba emi!! u can de.. cherish him ok.. i know i've said this like billions of time la lol~ but yea.. CHERISH!!!! smile k girl =)
Ash..
baobei ash baobei ash! my poor girl.. she n her bf broke up =( maybe that's the not-so-nice ting today ba.. hmmm they got not enough time for one another.. but actually to me.. i tink if the trust n feelins is stil there, things'll work out naturally.. God ain't cruel yea.. he'll definitely help.. so girl.. dun be sad ok.. i see u today so shag i heart "piang" sia =\ ur eyes are so swollen =\ dun cry anymore k baobei! u stil got us!! and even if they leave u, i'll always be here.. and i mean it! so SMILE!!! -huggs-
Dear Boy..
guess tis is the best part ba.. haha~! i juz feel so luck that i've got him.. =) he's so sweet.. when i reach citilink, i wan a hug.. so we hugged =) heex.. thn when me n shir was watchin video at another side, he came n see see.. haha but reali sweet to like "didnt expect" him to be bside me.. and yet when i turn, he's there =) i juz like it =) thn while we were restin after dance, i saw him sitting at a side lookin rather sian.. =\ of cos i went over la.. thn see how's he lo.. hmm he's so sian.. dunno y also.. hope he's ok ba.. ytd he's sick hurhur!! hope he'll be better le! thn i tried to cheer him up la.. thn when i was restin my chin against his knee, he sayang my head! OMG! -faint faint faint- so sweet la!!!!!!!!! lol! thn cos i sweat alot ma thn he took his shirt to wipe my hair.. ARGH damn sweet of him!! thn he tried to make me not so hot by blowin at me lo.. haha sweet hor sweet hor! lalala i gt a sweetie pie! =P thn cos my butt is wet -_-''' it's the sweat la.. warao thn got BIG patch lol! thn he fan for me too.. but he hor take the towel smack my butt! #$%*^%!!! lol! but fun la.. haha! when he held my hands.. i faint.. lol! reali la.. heartbeat like "bombombom" damn fast! haha! juz liddat is enough man.. i'm happy enough.. nv felt so relax before.. =) thanks boy! i love u!!! -muacks-
The happy walk-home..
i walk home al the way from yishun lol!! shiokkkkk man! at first quite scared cos the road damn dark n quiet.. but that's wat i wan also la lol!! thn i juz walk lo.. wah the sky tonite is damn pretty!!! there's so many stars~!!! i "talked" to them when i was walkin n listening to Xing Xing Zhi Huo.. wah so relax!!! it's like throw everythin behind me n juz relax.. enjoy the stars~!!! it's a long walk but reali relaxin! enjoy it man!!! now i know.. tims spent alone might not be a bad thing thou.. =) i used to tink whenever u're alone, it's loneliness.. but now i realise that it's not totally tat way.. depends on how u see it.. look at it positively.. and u'll be surprised!! =)
My guiding star?..
ususally there wont any stars outside my window recently la.. thn today there's ALOT!!! but a extreme brught one was there.. and i'm like OMG~! damn nice~! i look at them n prayed to God.. to let me keep tis happiness.. and everythin that i have now.. they're juz too precious!!! every single thing!!! my frens, my boy, my mummy, my dance, my life..! most importantly.. my smile!!! yea.. damn happy today.. hopefully this kinda days wil keep comin back =) tml gonna go find dear at his place =) yay~! haha.. juz another sweet day to acc him again =) it's been a few days since we last spend time tgt alone le.. juz wish to spend more time with him b4 he start sch again.. yea.. happy happy happy.. ZzzZzZzZzzzzzzzz..
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Wulala~
dance dance dance..! shiok arrrrrr.. lol!! today went to esplanade to dance with VIP.. duh.. haha~! met si n bing for lunch awhile at yishun.. =) miss them so much! lol! had lunch and chats.. again la.. lol! thn after awhile they go meet their individual frens le.. ehh.. bing went to meet her handphone which had long been seperated from her at causeway point la.. lol!! thn i went to esplanade to meet vip le lo.. =) dance quite alot today.. full power man!! haha!! waited for ALL of them damn long le.. haha thou nt al came la.. emi n fei ar missing.. -_- talkni bout fei.. hmmm she ar.. we to work at somewhere not very safe -_- damn angry sia.. but have to talk to her nicely ba.. hope she understands that we al reali care n dun wan anythin to happen to her.. she cant work lor! she holds a student pass! aiyoyo~! slowly explain to her ba.. even rei's mad at her =\ hmmm.. nothin much to say bout today la.. juz another ordinary day out =) miss dear dear alot.. haha.. called him juz now to say hi! lol! he's ZzZz.. oopss! haha! thn he damn sweet wor.. he sms me when i was walkin home ARGH! happy!!! =) sweetie banana~! haha! i heard this song today.. damn nice.. the lyrics go like this.. i translate de la.. not gd dun blame me.. eng not powDerful.. lol~!
Xing Xing Zhi Huo..
Little girl, went to the mountains..
At that time, She doesn't know why..
The fireflies wont move..
They juz stayed on the nite sky which brighten up the world..
Little girl, slowly grew up but yet uncertain..
Why adults can take time to drink cos of love breakups..
but have no time to juz look at the starry sky..
"don't.. don't forget the dreams u had.."
The stars blinks brightly in the sky..
as if they're listening to her sayin..
"i wanna become that star..
shining thru the nite..
am not afraid of the dark..
shining proudly..
shine til even the moon's jealous..
a bright star.. forever bright..
because the dark nite..
had my guidancethe courage is just in your hand.."
Little Girl, no longer innocent yet not mature enough..
at this time,thou she knows why
behind beautiful things there'll always be sadness..
but evertime when there's tears on her face, she'll return to that "planet"
Little girl, one day.. she'll go out to somewhere..
at that time, she'll always ask..
"why a dream is so heavy?"
only hope that before she give up..
she'll tink of that starry sky..
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are..
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star..
A long time ago.. a little girl wanted to find her future..
she went to the mountain and ask the sky..
"where's my future?"
and juz thn.. a little star says..
"sweetie.. the future is in your hands.."
yes.. the future is in our hands..
dance dance dance..! shiok arrrrrr.. lol!! today went to esplanade to dance with VIP.. duh.. haha~! met si n bing for lunch awhile at yishun.. =) miss them so much! lol! had lunch and chats.. again la.. lol! thn after awhile they go meet their individual frens le.. ehh.. bing went to meet her handphone which had long been seperated from her at causeway point la.. lol!! thn i went to esplanade to meet vip le lo.. =) dance quite alot today.. full power man!! haha!! waited for ALL of them damn long le.. haha thou nt al came la.. emi n fei ar missing.. -_- talkni bout fei.. hmmm she ar.. we to work at somewhere not very safe -_- damn angry sia.. but have to talk to her nicely ba.. hope she understands that we al reali care n dun wan anythin to happen to her.. she cant work lor! she holds a student pass! aiyoyo~! slowly explain to her ba.. even rei's mad at her =\ hmmm.. nothin much to say bout today la.. juz another ordinary day out =) miss dear dear alot.. haha.. called him juz now to say hi! lol! he's ZzZz.. oopss! haha! thn he damn sweet wor.. he sms me when i was walkin home ARGH! happy!!! =) sweetie banana~! haha! i heard this song today.. damn nice.. the lyrics go like this.. i translate de la.. not gd dun blame me.. eng not powDerful.. lol~!
Xing Xing Zhi Huo..
Little girl, went to the mountains..
At that time, She doesn't know why..
The fireflies wont move..
They juz stayed on the nite sky which brighten up the world..
Little girl, slowly grew up but yet uncertain..
Why adults can take time to drink cos of love breakups..
but have no time to juz look at the starry sky..
"don't.. don't forget the dreams u had.."
The stars blinks brightly in the sky..
as if they're listening to her sayin..
"i wanna become that star..
shining thru the nite..
am not afraid of the dark..
shining proudly..
shine til even the moon's jealous..
a bright star.. forever bright..
because the dark nite..
had my guidancethe courage is just in your hand.."
Little Girl, no longer innocent yet not mature enough..
at this time,thou she knows why
behind beautiful things there'll always be sadness..
but evertime when there's tears on her face, she'll return to that "planet"
Little girl, one day.. she'll go out to somewhere..
at that time, she'll always ask..
"why a dream is so heavy?"
only hope that before she give up..
she'll tink of that starry sky..
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are..
Believe, believe, believe, you are the only star..
A long time ago.. a little girl wanted to find her future..
she went to the mountain and ask the sky..
"where's my future?"
and juz thn.. a little star says..
"sweetie.. the future is in your hands.."
yes.. the future is in our hands..
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Nv Felt So Pain..
i'm filled with mixed feelings.. i dun wanna say much today juz try to summerised it..
Happy..
happy tat can see him today.. can juz acc him.. and got the one and onli MUACKS from him today.. ONE AND ONLI i mean.. and i'm glad i'm juz me again.. i'm nt affected by anythin else except for the things that're happening now..
Sad..
he nv call me dear it's nothin thou.. no more morning sms.. no more sweet talks from him.. he tinks i'm throwin tantrums AGAIN.. i juz feel not special today.. thot he'll be happy i cook somethin else for him.. but he's not i guess.. and he said this i wont forget "huh thn wat..? see u for 4days thn u cry 4 days continuously?" cos i ask him tml he got proj huh.. and tat's his reply.. this pierce straight into me..
Angry..
he hurt me damn bad.. when he eat the food till so like bein "forced".. maybe not purely him.. even ray n vith thinks the food sux.. so i guess it juz sux.. angry with myself too.. y muz i cook? dun cook thn nothin le wat.. i didnt even have the time to eat and i even scald myself.. but did he care? maybe not.. haix.. heart broken man..
i'm not throwin tantrums.. i'm juz hurt.. he maybe not sensitive enough to know.. but well.. nvm thn.. i also dun wan to add on burden to him.. he's confused enough.. he's loaded enough.. i shall keep quiet from now.. juz be there for him.. always there.. cos i juz love him.. and there's no reason to it.. seein him get injured from al his bikes' stuff reali breaks my heart.. haix.. if onli he knows how to take care of himself.. there's this song.. Xing Fu de Bei Hou.. is exactly my feelin now.. juz be there for him ba.. this may lead to somethin gd that i can learn.. -smile- cos everyday is a new day to learn.. =)
Movie Review..
or should i say tv review? lol~ watch this show dunno title la.. but dman nice.. it's bout a girl who commit suiceide for the guy who bastard her.. thn show how she regretted dying.. wahhhh damn nice.. damn touchin.. when it comes to the family part.. OMG~ i swear i wont commit suicide man~! lol~! the pain the family have to go thru.. in the end she didnt get to reincarnate la cos due to no time and la.. very chim la muz watch thn understand lol~! thn the bastard guy also wanted o die for her.. cos he felt he let her down but she manage to persuade him not to.. it's very spiritual show la.. very unbelievable but nice~! nice nice nice~!!!!
i'm filled with mixed feelings.. i dun wanna say much today juz try to summerised it..
Happy..
happy tat can see him today.. can juz acc him.. and got the one and onli MUACKS from him today.. ONE AND ONLI i mean.. and i'm glad i'm juz me again.. i'm nt affected by anythin else except for the things that're happening now..
Sad..
he nv call me dear it's nothin thou.. no more morning sms.. no more sweet talks from him.. he tinks i'm throwin tantrums AGAIN.. i juz feel not special today.. thot he'll be happy i cook somethin else for him.. but he's not i guess.. and he said this i wont forget "huh thn wat..? see u for 4days thn u cry 4 days continuously?" cos i ask him tml he got proj huh.. and tat's his reply.. this pierce straight into me..
Angry..
he hurt me damn bad.. when he eat the food till so like bein "forced".. maybe not purely him.. even ray n vith thinks the food sux.. so i guess it juz sux.. angry with myself too.. y muz i cook? dun cook thn nothin le wat.. i didnt even have the time to eat and i even scald myself.. but did he care? maybe not.. haix.. heart broken man..
i'm not throwin tantrums.. i'm juz hurt.. he maybe not sensitive enough to know.. but well.. nvm thn.. i also dun wan to add on burden to him.. he's confused enough.. he's loaded enough.. i shall keep quiet from now.. juz be there for him.. always there.. cos i juz love him.. and there's no reason to it.. seein him get injured from al his bikes' stuff reali breaks my heart.. haix.. if onli he knows how to take care of himself.. there's this song.. Xing Fu de Bei Hou.. is exactly my feelin now.. juz be there for him ba.. this may lead to somethin gd that i can learn.. -smile- cos everyday is a new day to learn.. =)
Movie Review..
or should i say tv review? lol~ watch this show dunno title la.. but dman nice.. it's bout a girl who commit suiceide for the guy who bastard her.. thn show how she regretted dying.. wahhhh damn nice.. damn touchin.. when it comes to the family part.. OMG~ i swear i wont commit suicide man~! lol~! the pain the family have to go thru.. in the end she didnt get to reincarnate la cos due to no time and la.. very chim la muz watch thn understand lol~! thn the bastard guy also wanted o die for her.. cos he felt he let her down but she manage to persuade him not to.. it's very spiritual show la.. very unbelievable but nice~! nice nice nice~!!!!
Monday, December 26, 2005
Wat a merry x'mas 2005..
today woke up thn went on msn with dear n emi.. were tryin to decide where to go today.. actually wanted to wach narnia but i dun ahve the mood to watch lei.. juz wish to spend a silent pretty x'mas.. haha~ in the end we decided to go to pasir ris beach.. dear n me got abit of prob b4 we met up.. at first he didnt wanna come out.. but i reali wanna spend x'mas with my special someone.. so we did meet up in the end la.. reali wanted to give him a tight hug when saw him.. it's like.. "i dun wanna lose u man~!!!" i dunno y la.. haix.. we went to eat at fisherman's village.. the food is nice la.. we had stingray~! my god~! my fave!! argh~!!! and fried rice.. nice combi.. haha~! thn dear n vith very funny.. cos emi wanted to drink coconut juice thn they reali went to get and the price is like WTH la.. lol.. cute sia~!! thou abit heartpain la so damn ex.. but at least we're happy ba.. hmmm money can be earn again.. haha~! i juz feel damn emo today.. but not totally negative la.. is the kinda happy emotional feelin too.. haha~! chim la.. we thn walk around for very long thn sat down at the beach.. it juz feels so gd.. it had always been my dream to be able to be at the beach with the one i love.. it had came true!! but abit stil missin la.. lol~! dunno lei.. like not reali wat i dream of.. haha~! nvm wait ba.. wil happen de..! have faith~! and i realise that the x'mas that i reali wanna spend like is juz a family thingy.. i wished for a homely celebration.. juz havin dinner with families.. be it with my family or my bf's family la.. it's juz FAMILY~! lol~! maybe cos when was younger.. did spend x'mas at pastor benny's place.. and the feelin reali juz got stuck in me since thn.. i wan my family to be liddat when i got my own family! no lonely x'mas~! we thn took bus to tampines.. when in bus i fell ZzZz on dar's shoulder.. argh~! it juz felt so gd~!! =) like the feelin la.. it's like the "first love" feelin.. i say it this way is cos thou i had so many ex b4.. but NONE of them ever let me felt loved.. it's always me lovin them but no love received in return.. now i've got dar.. whom i love n who love me.. i reali am glad juz to be in his arms.. nothin much i ever wan.. hmmm we slack at TM de mac to wait for first bus home.. me n dar had abit of prob *again* -_-'' so emi n vith left us alone to talk.. wah~! it's reali a BIG release feelin for me.. i said everythin i wanna say.. it's damn shiok!! guess it's my "explosion" ba.. and i'm very sure that after today, i'll grow more.. i'll be a better gf for dar.. at least one step closer to perfect.. =) dar did say quite alot too.. and i somehow understand his point of views better.. it's lik wat irene says bout ter.. they r juz the kind of guys that wont wanna say somethin when they tink they dun have the need to.. it's like "so wat if i tell u?" ya i know tat but.. at least share rite.. i wont feel so left out in his life ma.. if not i feel like nobody special.. =( hmmm maybe i stil haven been enlighten ba.. lol~! we had a tiny quarrel over his ex too.. hmmm maybe tat's relai my fault ba.. i should have trusted him bout that.. but in his heart there's stil her.. hais.. hope time wil help ba.. god.. pls dun play with me anymore..! i wanna live happily too.. no more emos.. no more tears(except tears of joy la~).. hmmm now i tink bout it.. i reali shouldn't let past relationship affects us.. be it my past relationship or his past relationship.. like wat irene says.. "wat's most impt is that u're happy now.." i tink it's rather true.. bein happy now wil/might lead to bein happy in the future and maybe even forever.. my past relationship had turned me into a damn emo n paranoid person.. which i reali hate them for!!!! but i have to thank them al for helpin to learn n see wat the real world is.. now maybe wat i can do is to "delete" my emo-ness n paranoid-ness and to search back my old self.. which is the happy xinwei that everyone's loves n enjoy to be with.. wah.. now i tink back.. tat time was like when i was 10? OMG i seem so happy.. even i love myself so much.. haha~! juz a happy-go-lucky girl that dun need anythin except for playin! lol!! of cos i can NEVER be as carefree as last time la.. more commitments now.. but i believe i can stil have the happy-go-lucky thingy back.. cos i'm juz born with it! i reali muz not get affected by anythin else.. it's reali time not to dwell in it anymore! it had been years man!! haha!! am sure sisi n irene can see the change in me from when i was 10 til now la.. now i'm gonna show them that "u girls have not lost the fun xinwei! she juz took a longgggggg break.." and now i'm back!! haha!! yay! i ask dar.. whether he's happy bein with me.. he said ya.. so i decided to NOT GIVE UP! haha.. i know he's not ready for this relationship.. but i'm gonna give him time.. we shall not tink so much.. we'll juz go with the flow.. as long as we're happy rite.. i dun wan him to stress over anythin too.. i love him for who he is and i hope he do love me for who i am too.. dar.. i tell u.. i'm NOT a emo person ok!! tat maybe wat u're seein now.. but u observe more n u'll noe.. =p i'll stil be selfish on cath's side.. as in i'll stil hate her.. but i'm not gonna do anythin or say anythin bout it anymore.. cos like wat i said i'm not gonna let it affects our relationship.. cos it's OUR relationship and nobody's involve except for ME-XINWEI n YOU-JONATHAN..! simple.. haha ok tink i'm mad.. need to ZzZz le.. haven ZzZz yet OMG~! p/s: OH YA~! today saw some ppl plays with "fireworks" lol damn nice~! look like shooting star sia~!! wahaha~! my god.. when wili ever see a shooting star again??? the last time i saw it was when i'm 9.. -_-''' God, it's been abit toooooooo long since i last saw one huh.. so let me see one soon k.. so i can make a proper wish~! lol~!! now my x'mas wish for myself is.. to be happy and to have someone(jon) to love n hold always~! and also wish for strength n wisdom in everythin i do.. that i'll make the rite choice n never give up!!! today heard Rainie Yang's Zhi Xiang Ai Ni.. damn nice~!! it's something like "sorry i wont give up on lovin u.." lol~! nice sentence~!! quite sad la but reali cute lo.. so damn stubborn like princess liddat haha~! (emi i dun mean u ok) =) ok nitex everyone.. nitex dar!! love u n mss u so much!!!!! seein him tml yay~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZzZzZzZZzzzZzZzZzzzZZZzzzzzzzz... K.O
today woke up thn went on msn with dear n emi.. were tryin to decide where to go today.. actually wanted to wach narnia but i dun ahve the mood to watch lei.. juz wish to spend a silent pretty x'mas.. haha~ in the end we decided to go to pasir ris beach.. dear n me got abit of prob b4 we met up.. at first he didnt wanna come out.. but i reali wanna spend x'mas with my special someone.. so we did meet up in the end la.. reali wanted to give him a tight hug when saw him.. it's like.. "i dun wanna lose u man~!!!" i dunno y la.. haix.. we went to eat at fisherman's village.. the food is nice la.. we had stingray~! my god~! my fave!! argh~!!! and fried rice.. nice combi.. haha~! thn dear n vith very funny.. cos emi wanted to drink coconut juice thn they reali went to get and the price is like WTH la.. lol.. cute sia~!! thou abit heartpain la so damn ex.. but at least we're happy ba.. hmmm money can be earn again.. haha~! i juz feel damn emo today.. but not totally negative la.. is the kinda happy emotional feelin too.. haha~! chim la.. we thn walk around for very long thn sat down at the beach.. it juz feels so gd.. it had always been my dream to be able to be at the beach with the one i love.. it had came true!! but abit stil missin la.. lol~! dunno lei.. like not reali wat i dream of.. haha~! nvm wait ba.. wil happen de..! have faith~! and i realise that the x'mas that i reali wanna spend like is juz a family thingy.. i wished for a homely celebration.. juz havin dinner with families.. be it with my family or my bf's family la.. it's juz FAMILY~! lol~! maybe cos when was younger.. did spend x'mas at pastor benny's place.. and the feelin reali juz got stuck in me since thn.. i wan my family to be liddat when i got my own family! no lonely x'mas~! we thn took bus to tampines.. when in bus i fell ZzZz on dar's shoulder.. argh~! it juz felt so gd~!! =) like the feelin la.. it's like the "first love" feelin.. i say it this way is cos thou i had so many ex b4.. but NONE of them ever let me felt loved.. it's always me lovin them but no love received in return.. now i've got dar.. whom i love n who love me.. i reali am glad juz to be in his arms.. nothin much i ever wan.. hmmm we slack at TM de mac to wait for first bus home.. me n dar had abit of prob *again* -_-'' so emi n vith left us alone to talk.. wah~! it's reali a BIG release feelin for me.. i said everythin i wanna say.. it's damn shiok!! guess it's my "explosion" ba.. and i'm very sure that after today, i'll grow more.. i'll be a better gf for dar.. at least one step closer to perfect.. =) dar did say quite alot too.. and i somehow understand his point of views better.. it's lik wat irene says bout ter.. they r juz the kind of guys that wont wanna say somethin when they tink they dun have the need to.. it's like "so wat if i tell u?" ya i know tat but.. at least share rite.. i wont feel so left out in his life ma.. if not i feel like nobody special.. =( hmmm maybe i stil haven been enlighten ba.. lol~! we had a tiny quarrel over his ex too.. hmmm maybe tat's relai my fault ba.. i should have trusted him bout that.. but in his heart there's stil her.. hais.. hope time wil help ba.. god.. pls dun play with me anymore..! i wanna live happily too.. no more emos.. no more tears(except tears of joy la~).. hmmm now i tink bout it.. i reali shouldn't let past relationship affects us.. be it my past relationship or his past relationship.. like wat irene says.. "wat's most impt is that u're happy now.." i tink it's rather true.. bein happy now wil/might lead to bein happy in the future and maybe even forever.. my past relationship had turned me into a damn emo n paranoid person.. which i reali hate them for!!!! but i have to thank them al for helpin to learn n see wat the real world is.. now maybe wat i can do is to "delete" my emo-ness n paranoid-ness and to search back my old self.. which is the happy xinwei that everyone's loves n enjoy to be with.. wah.. now i tink back.. tat time was like when i was 10? OMG i seem so happy.. even i love myself so much.. haha~! juz a happy-go-lucky girl that dun need anythin except for playin! lol!! of cos i can NEVER be as carefree as last time la.. more commitments now.. but i believe i can stil have the happy-go-lucky thingy back.. cos i'm juz born with it! i reali muz not get affected by anythin else.. it's reali time not to dwell in it anymore! it had been years man!! haha!! am sure sisi n irene can see the change in me from when i was 10 til now la.. now i'm gonna show them that "u girls have not lost the fun xinwei! she juz took a longgggggg break.." and now i'm back!! haha!! yay! i ask dar.. whether he's happy bein with me.. he said ya.. so i decided to NOT GIVE UP! haha.. i know he's not ready for this relationship.. but i'm gonna give him time.. we shall not tink so much.. we'll juz go with the flow.. as long as we're happy rite.. i dun wan him to stress over anythin too.. i love him for who he is and i hope he do love me for who i am too.. dar.. i tell u.. i'm NOT a emo person ok!! tat maybe wat u're seein now.. but u observe more n u'll noe.. =p i'll stil be selfish on cath's side.. as in i'll stil hate her.. but i'm not gonna do anythin or say anythin bout it anymore.. cos like wat i said i'm not gonna let it affects our relationship.. cos it's OUR relationship and nobody's involve except for ME-XINWEI n YOU-JONATHAN..! simple.. haha ok tink i'm mad.. need to ZzZz le.. haven ZzZz yet OMG~! p/s: OH YA~! today saw some ppl plays with "fireworks" lol damn nice~! look like shooting star sia~!! wahaha~! my god.. when wili ever see a shooting star again??? the last time i saw it was when i'm 9.. -_-''' God, it's been abit toooooooo long since i last saw one huh.. so let me see one soon k.. so i can make a proper wish~! lol~!! now my x'mas wish for myself is.. to be happy and to have someone(jon) to love n hold always~! and also wish for strength n wisdom in everythin i do.. that i'll make the rite choice n never give up!!! today heard Rainie Yang's Zhi Xiang Ai Ni.. damn nice~!! it's something like "sorry i wont give up on lovin u.." lol~! nice sentence~!! quite sad la but reali cute lo.. so damn stubborn like princess liddat haha~! (emi i dun mean u ok) =) ok nitex everyone.. nitex dar!! love u n mss u so much!!!!! seein him tml yay~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZzZzZzZZzzzZzZzZzzzZZZzzzzzzzz... K.O
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas eve...
today actually juz planned to go citilink to acc dear lo.. cos he riding ma thn me also nothin to do anyway.. so spend more time with him lo.. was quite fun la. haha thou nothin much to do.. juz see them play n all the nonsense.. got to know a few more ppl there.. nice ppl (i hope) haha~! dear fell alot of time today.. like he said.. no cuts but alot of bruises.. haix.. see le reali heart pain sia.. wonder when the hell wil he take care of himself.. wanna make me worry thn he happy.. haix.. got abit fed up with him when i ask him wat happen to his wrist.. cos he keep sayin nothin.. it's like wat the hell la.. this kinda things u also wanna keep from me thn nvm le lo.. wat am i? juz anyone normal out there? haix.. reali dunno la.. today quite moody.. he did try al he could to cheer me up la.. was happy but stil fed up thou.. haix.. wonder when thn he wil reali open up to me.. hope time wil help ba.. =( thn we went to somewhere beside esplanade to eat thn went to M-walk to slack.. dear tong pang me.. quite shiok la but back very aching sia~! and leg wil wobble lol~ hmmm we ju sit there and slack lo.. i ZzZz awhile la on the seats thn dear saw and he put his tee let me ZzZz as pillow so sweet~! but i ended up cryin.. cos he said "go away" thou was playin but i hate it whenever he says things liddat eg. "go away" "disown u" "dun wan u" blah blah blah.. it juz makes me feel like unwanted like it's me who's so damn thick skin stickin to u.. ok maybe i'm bein abit unreasonable but tat's juz wat i feel wat.. too bad lo.. he cheer me up again la.. i wanted to juz let out my feeling but whenever i see him thn i cant le.. i juz cant lose my temper with him.. haix.. too adorable haha~ oopss.. i mean how can i be angry with someone who cares for me so damn much? but i dunno why today i juz feel damn sux la.. since morning i wake up n didnt see his sms so i sms him say "wonder if i'm the first person that comes to ur mind each time u wake up.." cos he last time always ask me wat every mornin first person i tink of is who.. i swear it's him la~!! haix.. sad sia.. maybe he reali had change abit.. no more sweet smses in the morning.. juz left with empty hope.. even at nites.. no more gd nite sms.. haix haix haix.. maybe my description is rite.. when a guy is chasin u, they're sweet like honey.. when they get u, they reduced to sugar-sweet.. when married they turn into bittergourd.. haix.. wat a reality.. =( if onli someone wil prove this wrong.. another thing that's hauntin me is bout his ex.. argh~! i did say that i dun wanna care bout it anymore i'll juz leave it to him to settle it.. but i juz feel damn uneasy~! today he ask me whether he could wish her merry x'mas i say can.. cos i dun wanna be tat unreasonable ma.. wah thn tat reali lead to a mistake man~! i swear i hate her now~! i dun care le la.. fuck it man~! i cant stand it any longer.. she keep sms-ing him til she sounded so damn pitiful.. and dear is so damn soft hearted to juz care so much.. dunno if i reali sick he'll care that much ornt.. sometimes i reali wonder.. if in his heart there's stil her.. i'm stil able to give him time to forget her.. but i can onli say i cant stand much longer.. i have my limits.. if i can forget bout gary so soon y cant he? he stil haven delete his "old" photos of her n his status is stil single in frenster.. i guess he cant bear to clear them ba.. nv m lo see who's being unfair now ba.. i juz feel damn insecure.. haix.. dea if u're readin this.. i'm sorry.. this is reali wat i am feelin rite now.. maybe it might be words that juz rushed outta my mouth but sorry.. i need to let out.. i'm human too.. i'm a girl who needs love and attention from my boyfriend too and i'm also juz a normal girl who cant share her boyfriend with anyone else.. pls settle ur past relationship thingy soon so that u can start a totally fresh new thingy with me.. i dun wanna be in this kinda things ever again.. it juz sux to the max..!!! al the stupid draggings~! wasting time n everyone's tears.. my advice is be cruel.. be selfish for urself.. i may sound mean but think about it.. that's the best way for things to work out.. there's no hero in relationship.. there's onli fools..
today actually juz planned to go citilink to acc dear lo.. cos he riding ma thn me also nothin to do anyway.. so spend more time with him lo.. was quite fun la. haha thou nothin much to do.. juz see them play n all the nonsense.. got to know a few more ppl there.. nice ppl (i hope) haha~! dear fell alot of time today.. like he said.. no cuts but alot of bruises.. haix.. see le reali heart pain sia.. wonder when the hell wil he take care of himself.. wanna make me worry thn he happy.. haix.. got abit fed up with him when i ask him wat happen to his wrist.. cos he keep sayin nothin.. it's like wat the hell la.. this kinda things u also wanna keep from me thn nvm le lo.. wat am i? juz anyone normal out there? haix.. reali dunno la.. today quite moody.. he did try al he could to cheer me up la.. was happy but stil fed up thou.. haix.. wonder when thn he wil reali open up to me.. hope time wil help ba.. =( thn we went to somewhere beside esplanade to eat thn went to M-walk to slack.. dear tong pang me.. quite shiok la but back very aching sia~! and leg wil wobble lol~ hmmm we ju sit there and slack lo.. i ZzZz awhile la on the seats thn dear saw and he put his tee let me ZzZz as pillow so sweet~! but i ended up cryin.. cos he said "go away" thou was playin but i hate it whenever he says things liddat eg. "go away" "disown u" "dun wan u" blah blah blah.. it juz makes me feel like unwanted like it's me who's so damn thick skin stickin to u.. ok maybe i'm bein abit unreasonable but tat's juz wat i feel wat.. too bad lo.. he cheer me up again la.. i wanted to juz let out my feeling but whenever i see him thn i cant le.. i juz cant lose my temper with him.. haix.. too adorable haha~ oopss.. i mean how can i be angry with someone who cares for me so damn much? but i dunno why today i juz feel damn sux la.. since morning i wake up n didnt see his sms so i sms him say "wonder if i'm the first person that comes to ur mind each time u wake up.." cos he last time always ask me wat every mornin first person i tink of is who.. i swear it's him la~!! haix.. sad sia.. maybe he reali had change abit.. no more sweet smses in the morning.. juz left with empty hope.. even at nites.. no more gd nite sms.. haix haix haix.. maybe my description is rite.. when a guy is chasin u, they're sweet like honey.. when they get u, they reduced to sugar-sweet.. when married they turn into bittergourd.. haix.. wat a reality.. =( if onli someone wil prove this wrong.. another thing that's hauntin me is bout his ex.. argh~! i did say that i dun wanna care bout it anymore i'll juz leave it to him to settle it.. but i juz feel damn uneasy~! today he ask me whether he could wish her merry x'mas i say can.. cos i dun wanna be tat unreasonable ma.. wah thn tat reali lead to a mistake man~! i swear i hate her now~! i dun care le la.. fuck it man~! i cant stand it any longer.. she keep sms-ing him til she sounded so damn pitiful.. and dear is so damn soft hearted to juz care so much.. dunno if i reali sick he'll care that much ornt.. sometimes i reali wonder.. if in his heart there's stil her.. i'm stil able to give him time to forget her.. but i can onli say i cant stand much longer.. i have my limits.. if i can forget bout gary so soon y cant he? he stil haven delete his "old" photos of her n his status is stil single in frenster.. i guess he cant bear to clear them ba.. nv m lo see who's being unfair now ba.. i juz feel damn insecure.. haix.. dea if u're readin this.. i'm sorry.. this is reali wat i am feelin rite now.. maybe it might be words that juz rushed outta my mouth but sorry.. i need to let out.. i'm human too.. i'm a girl who needs love and attention from my boyfriend too and i'm also juz a normal girl who cant share her boyfriend with anyone else.. pls settle ur past relationship thingy soon so that u can start a totally fresh new thingy with me.. i dun wanna be in this kinda things ever again.. it juz sux to the max..!!! al the stupid draggings~! wasting time n everyone's tears.. my advice is be cruel.. be selfish for urself.. i may sound mean but think about it.. that's the best way for things to work out.. there's no hero in relationship.. there's onli fools..
Friday, December 23, 2005
X'mas Gathering..
today went to eat steamboat with clover babes~ at bugis the ma la steamboat there.. hmm of cos i didnt touch a single bit of the spicy part la.. haha~! but i eat alot sia~! my god~! muz dance like crazy to jian fei le~ =( the chicken very nice sia~! i ate like a whole plate of it lo.. haha~! thn ate crab~!!! MY FAVE~!!! ARGH~~ shiokkk~! thn ate lotus too.. quite alot of food there.. not bad.. but very warm sia~ sweatin like crazy thou a wet n cold day.. al of us kana seafood suana sia lol~!! i'm like dman damn full lo~! haha~! thn we went walk around in bugis awhile nia thn go home le.. wah sharon give us de pressie happening sia~! lol~! sexyyyyyyy~! haha~! thn sisi gave me strawberry body lotion~!! argh~! thn binggie gave us cactus~! damn cute~! haha~! mine's pink colour yay~! i stil owe them pressie next week thn give them haha~! thanks babes~! nice pressie~! next year dun restrict to no accessories ok~ very xin ku for me.. haha~! yea today n tml muz do dear dear's pressie le n other ppl de cards.. lalala~ alot sia~! can gambate le.. tink by x'mas i turning panda le.. lol~!wah i very excited to do dear's pressie sia~! lol.. experiment dunno wil fail ornt haha~! pray hard wont fail la.. heex.. oh ya sunday hae to go church man.. pastor gordan's last sermon.. warao~! everytime liddat.. damn sian~! tink i wont be able to wake up.. lol~! thn meetin baby that day too~! yay~! wahhh lookin forward to it man~!! stil dunno where to go yet la.. -_-''' baby can u decide??? my godddddd.............
today went to eat steamboat with clover babes~ at bugis the ma la steamboat there.. hmm of cos i didnt touch a single bit of the spicy part la.. haha~! but i eat alot sia~! my god~! muz dance like crazy to jian fei le~ =( the chicken very nice sia~! i ate like a whole plate of it lo.. haha~! thn ate crab~!!! MY FAVE~!!! ARGH~~ shiokkk~! thn ate lotus too.. quite alot of food there.. not bad.. but very warm sia~ sweatin like crazy thou a wet n cold day.. al of us kana seafood suana sia lol~!! i'm like dman damn full lo~! haha~! thn we went walk around in bugis awhile nia thn go home le.. wah sharon give us de pressie happening sia~! lol~! sexyyyyyyy~! haha~! thn sisi gave me strawberry body lotion~!! argh~! thn binggie gave us cactus~! damn cute~! haha~! mine's pink colour yay~! i stil owe them pressie next week thn give them haha~! thanks babes~! nice pressie~! next year dun restrict to no accessories ok~ very xin ku for me.. haha~! yea today n tml muz do dear dear's pressie le n other ppl de cards.. lalala~ alot sia~! can gambate le.. tink by x'mas i turning panda le.. lol~!wah i very excited to do dear's pressie sia~! lol.. experiment dunno wil fail ornt haha~! pray hard wont fail la.. heex.. oh ya sunday hae to go church man.. pastor gordan's last sermon.. warao~! everytime liddat.. damn sian~! tink i wont be able to wake up.. lol~! thn meetin baby that day too~! yay~! wahhh lookin forward to it man~!! stil dunno where to go yet la.. -_-''' baby can u decide??? my godddddd.............
Not A Day For Dar & Me >.<
warao damn sian lo.. big aunty come visit liao.. warao warao warao pain whole day sia~! hurhur~! thn stil muz go dance.. OMG~ today i made sandwich for dar cos he dun wan me spend money ma.. so i make lo.. haha~ quite fun eh.. cos i nv make b4 thn first time dunno anythin thn sisi buay tahan me.. lol~! cos i shred the lettuce til very very nice nice kind thn i happy ma haha~ thn sisi nag lo.. fun sia~! but almost chop my finger off again.. lol~! i happily cutting thn suddenly feel eh how come got pressure on my nails lol~! lucky i slow ar if not my finger left 9 of them liao.. haha~! thn cut the tomato is the part where i hate the most man~!! damn hard to cut balance the size sia thn not balance damn ugly.. wah~ cant stand the ugliness~! cut ham can act pro haha~! cos easy ma.. wulala so fun~!! hope dar wont have tummyache tonite~! ;p thn at bout 5+ i prepaer to go out thn bout to go out liao TMD big aunt visit~! damn sian~! wah pain til cannot stand up sia~! faint on my bed for more thn 30min.. sisi poor thing see me faint.. lol~! after faint liao stil pain.. argh~! damn sian.. but at least can go outta my house la so stil alright.. muz pass food for my dar ma.. later he hungry.. so muz hurry~ wah in train i KO like dunno wat lol~! thn when reach le pass dar the food lo.. he say nice wor.. heex~!i tink if he see the process he wont tink it's nice le.. lol~! oopss~! thn dar dar very sweet wor he bought subway for me~!!!!!! yay SUBWAY~!!!! lol~ and he can remember almost everythin~! honeyoat bread la, tuna, cheese, more myo, pepper, cookie n F&N orange~ except for the veg part la.. he ask for everythin -_- lol~! i actually wanted to juz eat al de cos he buy de ma.. but i reali cant stand the onion smell la.. and the black black thing dunno wat lai de.. lol so take out lo.. sorry baby~! =( thn after eatin we dance le lo.. damn sian.. thn dar went to ride with vith la.. thru out i reali no mood to dance sia thn when the person come see i stil no mood so anyhow dance lo.. they say nice la.. lol~! nvm la that day thn give them BIANG de.. lol~! thn dar very sweet.. cos my tummy pain ma thn he say rub the back got use thn he rub my back.. wuuuuuu sweet nei~! got use ornt i nt sure la.. like no diff lol~!! thn he fell on his hip AGAIN~!! -_-''' walao see him pain i damn heart pain sia~!!! ARGH~!!! F*** the floor man.. so hard for wat~!!! %$%*%^#~!!! wah he injured til cant even walk properly lo~!! hurhurhurhurhur~! bang wall bang wall~!!! dar if u r readin this PLEASE LPEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OK~!!! if not i chicken little u ar~!!! haha~! aiyoyo heart pain.. damn sian~! reali not our day.. nvm end of 2005 le.. next year wil be better for me.. accordin to my horoscope la.. haha~! pray hard ba~!!
WISH LIST FOR MY LOVE ONES...
Darling J- dear i'm so glad i've found u juz in time to spend my x'mas with =) i wish for u to be able to learn more new stunts and to be able to perform more in time to come.. and not to get anymore terrible injuries~!! lol~! most importanly i wish for u to be happy always and that everythin wil be smooth for u~!! lastly i wish for u to LOVE me more n deeper each day~! wahaha~! love u~! muacks~!
Clover Sharon- da jie reali glad that clover stil sticks as one til today.. it's been a year already and i'm sure clover wil be able to spend more x'mas with each other together~! my wish for u is that everythin wil be smooth for ur career n of cos to me most importantly LOVE LIFE~! lol~! i'm sure u'll get ur mr right very soon.. i can sense it~! lol~!! dun look at closed doors.. look at the open ones for u.. and u might juz find that u're in the right path.. =) i did n now i'm hapily in love.. yeay~! =)
Clover Sisi- qing ai de lol~! u had been thru alot with me this year.. and i'm reali reali thankful that i have someone like u.. i tink without u i might be long dead la.. haha~! CHOY~! my wish for u is to be happy always.. and i ask for god to take away al ur unhappiness and ur EMOs~! lol~! and tat zhiwei wil treat u better.. i can see he's tryin now.. rather obvious.. am sure he wont wanna lose someone as fantastic as u lo.. if he bully u.. i sure chicken little him~! lol~! remeber to give in sometimes as well.. his ego is damn high.. well capricorn.. haha~! =)
Clover Bingbing- baby baby baby~ lol u had learn to be a damn strong girl this year.. i swear it's true~! lol~! terrence give u trainin huh.. lol he better dun bully u arbo i also chicken little him~! haha.. wah see u grow so much so damn happy for u sia~! my wish for u is that u'll be even happier.. and to be stronger thn this year~ wah hercules sia~! lol~! wish that u can run faster thn ever n everythin wil be smoth for u too~!! teach me to be a gd gf ok~! lol~!! =)
Mummy- she wont read this la.. lol~ but i stil wish that she'll stop smokin n that she'll be happier too.. earn more money n lesser mahjong.. more work for her so that she wont go mahjong n smoke less.. lol~!
Stellarnine- i love u guys~! and i'll always do.. thou stellarnine's no longer a ACT team.. but i'm sure our bond wil forever be there.. i'm juz so glad we came so far.. i've learn alot from u guys~! thanks ppl.. i wish that al of u wil find ur happiness soon be it love or career or studies.. love u guys~!! muacks~!
VIP- rockers~! lol.. thou we've juz got tgt for like few months but i'm sure we'll go far this time.. thou maybe not with every single one of VIP but am sure that VIP's name wil be known by ppl out there..~! that's my wish for VIP lol.. and i wish for individual to be able to reach their dreams no matter wat they're~!
Frens of al places- those that i didnt mention.. sorry ar.. i do remember u al ok.. 5NB, northlanders, peixinians, UAN peeps.. thanks for everythin man~! without u guys.. my life would have been a blank piece of paper.. u guys filled it up with colours~! i wish everyone happiness~! and success in everythin~! no more sadness~!!! God bless~!
warao damn sian lo.. big aunty come visit liao.. warao warao warao pain whole day sia~! hurhur~! thn stil muz go dance.. OMG~ today i made sandwich for dar cos he dun wan me spend money ma.. so i make lo.. haha~ quite fun eh.. cos i nv make b4 thn first time dunno anythin thn sisi buay tahan me.. lol~! cos i shred the lettuce til very very nice nice kind thn i happy ma haha~ thn sisi nag lo.. fun sia~! but almost chop my finger off again.. lol~! i happily cutting thn suddenly feel eh how come got pressure on my nails lol~! lucky i slow ar if not my finger left 9 of them liao.. haha~! thn cut the tomato is the part where i hate the most man~!! damn hard to cut balance the size sia thn not balance damn ugly.. wah~ cant stand the ugliness~! cut ham can act pro haha~! cos easy ma.. wulala so fun~!! hope dar wont have tummyache tonite~! ;p thn at bout 5+ i prepaer to go out thn bout to go out liao TMD big aunt visit~! damn sian~! wah pain til cannot stand up sia~! faint on my bed for more thn 30min.. sisi poor thing see me faint.. lol~! after faint liao stil pain.. argh~! damn sian.. but at least can go outta my house la so stil alright.. muz pass food for my dar ma.. later he hungry.. so muz hurry~ wah in train i KO like dunno wat lol~! thn when reach le pass dar the food lo.. he say nice wor.. heex~!i tink if he see the process he wont tink it's nice le.. lol~! oopss~! thn dar dar very sweet wor he bought subway for me~!!!!!! yay SUBWAY~!!!! lol~ and he can remember almost everythin~! honeyoat bread la, tuna, cheese, more myo, pepper, cookie n F&N orange~ except for the veg part la.. he ask for everythin -_- lol~! i actually wanted to juz eat al de cos he buy de ma.. but i reali cant stand the onion smell la.. and the black black thing dunno wat lai de.. lol so take out lo.. sorry baby~! =( thn after eatin we dance le lo.. damn sian.. thn dar went to ride with vith la.. thru out i reali no mood to dance sia thn when the person come see i stil no mood so anyhow dance lo.. they say nice la.. lol~! nvm la that day thn give them BIANG de.. lol~! thn dar very sweet.. cos my tummy pain ma thn he say rub the back got use thn he rub my back.. wuuuuuu sweet nei~! got use ornt i nt sure la.. like no diff lol~!! thn he fell on his hip AGAIN~!! -_-''' walao see him pain i damn heart pain sia~!!! ARGH~!!! F*** the floor man.. so hard for wat~!!! %$%*%^#~!!! wah he injured til cant even walk properly lo~!! hurhurhurhurhur~! bang wall bang wall~!!! dar if u r readin this PLEASE LPEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OK~!!! if not i chicken little u ar~!!! haha~! aiyoyo heart pain.. damn sian~! reali not our day.. nvm end of 2005 le.. next year wil be better for me.. accordin to my horoscope la.. haha~! pray hard ba~!!
WISH LIST FOR MY LOVE ONES...
Darling J- dear i'm so glad i've found u juz in time to spend my x'mas with =) i wish for u to be able to learn more new stunts and to be able to perform more in time to come.. and not to get anymore terrible injuries~!! lol~! most importanly i wish for u to be happy always and that everythin wil be smooth for u~!! lastly i wish for u to LOVE me more n deeper each day~! wahaha~! love u~! muacks~!
Clover Sharon- da jie reali glad that clover stil sticks as one til today.. it's been a year already and i'm sure clover wil be able to spend more x'mas with each other together~! my wish for u is that everythin wil be smooth for ur career n of cos to me most importantly LOVE LIFE~! lol~! i'm sure u'll get ur mr right very soon.. i can sense it~! lol~!! dun look at closed doors.. look at the open ones for u.. and u might juz find that u're in the right path.. =) i did n now i'm hapily in love.. yeay~! =)
Clover Sisi- qing ai de lol~! u had been thru alot with me this year.. and i'm reali reali thankful that i have someone like u.. i tink without u i might be long dead la.. haha~! CHOY~! my wish for u is to be happy always.. and i ask for god to take away al ur unhappiness and ur EMOs~! lol~! and tat zhiwei wil treat u better.. i can see he's tryin now.. rather obvious.. am sure he wont wanna lose someone as fantastic as u lo.. if he bully u.. i sure chicken little him~! lol~! remeber to give in sometimes as well.. his ego is damn high.. well capricorn.. haha~! =)
Clover Bingbing- baby baby baby~ lol u had learn to be a damn strong girl this year.. i swear it's true~! lol~! terrence give u trainin huh.. lol he better dun bully u arbo i also chicken little him~! haha.. wah see u grow so much so damn happy for u sia~! my wish for u is that u'll be even happier.. and to be stronger thn this year~ wah hercules sia~! lol~! wish that u can run faster thn ever n everythin wil be smoth for u too~!! teach me to be a gd gf ok~! lol~!! =)
Mummy- she wont read this la.. lol~ but i stil wish that she'll stop smokin n that she'll be happier too.. earn more money n lesser mahjong.. more work for her so that she wont go mahjong n smoke less.. lol~!
Stellarnine- i love u guys~! and i'll always do.. thou stellarnine's no longer a ACT team.. but i'm sure our bond wil forever be there.. i'm juz so glad we came so far.. i've learn alot from u guys~! thanks ppl.. i wish that al of u wil find ur happiness soon be it love or career or studies.. love u guys~!! muacks~!
VIP- rockers~! lol.. thou we've juz got tgt for like few months but i'm sure we'll go far this time.. thou maybe not with every single one of VIP but am sure that VIP's name wil be known by ppl out there..~! that's my wish for VIP lol.. and i wish for individual to be able to reach their dreams no matter wat they're~!
Frens of al places- those that i didnt mention.. sorry ar.. i do remember u al ok.. 5NB, northlanders, peixinians, UAN peeps.. thanks for everythin man~! without u guys.. my life would have been a blank piece of paper.. u guys filled it up with colours~! i wish everyone happiness~! and success in everythin~! no more sadness~!!! God bless~!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Simple Sweet Happy Day~
today went to dar's place to acc him.. i woke up late AGAIN.. damn sian~!! so i reach his place at ard 3+ ba.. his house very cosy nei.. so family-ish~! lol~! thn i watch tv in the living room while dar cook noodle for me.. wulala~ noodle with love~! taste so nice thou it's juz maggie mee la =) thn while he cookin his daddy came home.. i quite gan jiong la.. lol~! dunno wat to do.. haha~ but the daddy very nice.. onli abit quiet la.. lol~ when dar told him my name thn he's like "huh how to pronounce??" lol~ very cute~ tat moment i'm tinkin.. "call me michelle ba.." but nv say la duh~ hope impression not bad sia.. heex.. thn we ate while watchin tv.. watched bewitched.. the old school version one =) nice show man~! thn we watch tv til ard 4+ thn went up to his room cos he tired thn we rest lo.. he ZzZz awhile.. watchin him ZzZz is sucha happy thing to do.. heex.. so cute =) thn after awhile i fell ZzZz too lol~! thn he go do project.. after awhile i wakey le.. lol thn i dun wanna disturb him ma so i juz rest on the bed lo i got migraine also la.. damn sian 3 days liao lei..! argh~!! watch him to project also nice feelin sia.. like to see him serious.. lol serious guys is alwaysssss so handsome~!!! haha~! thn when he's done we watched some videos on b-boys n bikers.. warao damn gd la.. i feel shit man.. lol~! more i wanna be a gd dancer~!!! lol~!! ganbate~!!! i also showed him ben's clips n dharni's beatbox.. lol~! he very funny sia~ keep tryin to ACT beatbox.. lol~!! cute~!! thn we watched russell peter also.. warao cannot take it damn lame~!! lol~! very soon time pass.. damn sian have to go dance le.. so he send me to the bus stop lo.. he's very sweet wor.. he went to check the fastest way to get to braddell for me on the net.. =) so xing fu..! haha~! caring guy i have =) it was raining too thn he ask me whether i need to bring a jacket ornt cos cold weather ma.. thn i say no need la.. OMG for that moment i'm like 100% drown in the river of love man~! lol~!!! thn the rain was quite heavy la.. but so happy lol~ walkin in the rain with my dar~! wuuuu romantic man~! lol~! thn when in the bus.. i receive a sms after awhile.. thn when open OMG is him.. lol~! he very sweet wor.. ask me to take care n al thn say he go ride.. heex.. happy la~!!!! wahaha~! thn during dance my head burst sia~! yutaki teach so damn fast til i brain dead le.. hurhur~! cant reali catch al the steps.. but hopefully b4 the performance can get them done la.. very funny dance lei.. dunno is wat genre also.. nvm la juz try ba.. jiayou~!!! haha~ thn after dance i sms him say i end dance le goin home now.. i dun expect him to reply la cos can chat when i reach home ma.. thn suddenly his assigned rigntone rings.. lol~! wah thn i damn happy sia~! lalalalalalala~! haha~! oya i met his bro too.. hmm didnt talk much la juz hi n bye lol~!! today was not a special day n nothin very special happen too.. but i juz simply am so damn happy~! haha~ if onli my other days wil be liddat in the future.. juz to be with dar.. juz acc him onli i also happy.. dun have to always be a date or anythin special.. thn dance.. wah i happy le la..~! so thankful for this day~!! =) we talk bout x'mas too.. 24th he might be riding.. so maybe i juz go and acc him lo.. heex.. provided i wont be a burden to him la.. haha~ thn 25th we thn go out.. heex.. haven plan go where yet la.. wil plan soon i hope.. haha~!
today went to dar's place to acc him.. i woke up late AGAIN.. damn sian~!! so i reach his place at ard 3+ ba.. his house very cosy nei.. so family-ish~! lol~! thn i watch tv in the living room while dar cook noodle for me.. wulala~ noodle with love~! taste so nice thou it's juz maggie mee la =) thn while he cookin his daddy came home.. i quite gan jiong la.. lol~! dunno wat to do.. haha~ but the daddy very nice.. onli abit quiet la.. lol~ when dar told him my name thn he's like "huh how to pronounce??" lol~ very cute~ tat moment i'm tinkin.. "call me michelle ba.." but nv say la duh~ hope impression not bad sia.. heex.. thn we ate while watchin tv.. watched bewitched.. the old school version one =) nice show man~! thn we watch tv til ard 4+ thn went up to his room cos he tired thn we rest lo.. he ZzZz awhile.. watchin him ZzZz is sucha happy thing to do.. heex.. so cute =) thn after awhile i fell ZzZz too lol~! thn he go do project.. after awhile i wakey le.. lol thn i dun wanna disturb him ma so i juz rest on the bed lo i got migraine also la.. damn sian 3 days liao lei..! argh~!! watch him to project also nice feelin sia.. like to see him serious.. lol serious guys is alwaysssss so handsome~!!! haha~! thn when he's done we watched some videos on b-boys n bikers.. warao damn gd la.. i feel shit man.. lol~! more i wanna be a gd dancer~!!! lol~!! ganbate~!!! i also showed him ben's clips n dharni's beatbox.. lol~! he very funny sia~ keep tryin to ACT beatbox.. lol~!! cute~!! thn we watched russell peter also.. warao cannot take it damn lame~!! lol~! very soon time pass.. damn sian have to go dance le.. so he send me to the bus stop lo.. he's very sweet wor.. he went to check the fastest way to get to braddell for me on the net.. =) so xing fu..! haha~! caring guy i have =) it was raining too thn he ask me whether i need to bring a jacket ornt cos cold weather ma.. thn i say no need la.. OMG for that moment i'm like 100% drown in the river of love man~! lol~!!! thn the rain was quite heavy la.. but so happy lol~ walkin in the rain with my dar~! wuuuu romantic man~! lol~! thn when in the bus.. i receive a sms after awhile.. thn when open OMG is him.. lol~! he very sweet wor.. ask me to take care n al thn say he go ride.. heex.. happy la~!!!! wahaha~! thn during dance my head burst sia~! yutaki teach so damn fast til i brain dead le.. hurhur~! cant reali catch al the steps.. but hopefully b4 the performance can get them done la.. very funny dance lei.. dunno is wat genre also.. nvm la juz try ba.. jiayou~!!! haha~ thn after dance i sms him say i end dance le goin home now.. i dun expect him to reply la cos can chat when i reach home ma.. thn suddenly his assigned rigntone rings.. lol~! wah thn i damn happy sia~! lalalalalalala~! haha~! oya i met his bro too.. hmm didnt talk much la juz hi n bye lol~!! today was not a special day n nothin very special happen too.. but i juz simply am so damn happy~! haha~ if onli my other days wil be liddat in the future.. juz to be with dar.. juz acc him onli i also happy.. dun have to always be a date or anythin special.. thn dance.. wah i happy le la..~! so thankful for this day~!! =) we talk bout x'mas too.. 24th he might be riding.. so maybe i juz go and acc him lo.. heex.. provided i wont be a burden to him la.. haha~ thn 25th we thn go out.. heex.. haven plan go where yet la.. wil plan soon i hope.. haha~!
My Sweetie Banana~
today went to esplanade to find dar dar and of cos to dance la.. lol~ actually dance was cancelled cos at first onli me emi n ash can.. thn end up emi n ash wanna dance thn say fei er wan too.. lol so we went lo.. i so free ma.. at first quite sian la cos dar not goin.. thn end up he go lalala~! happy~!! =) i bought BK to surprise him.. heehee~ juz like to surprise him na.. but he dun like i waste money.. hmmm nvm next time i make.. *pray hard he wont kana food poisoning can liao.. haha~! juz like to see him smile =) he very sweet nei~! i say very hot thn he take paper fan for me arghhhh so sweet~!!! OMG i goin crazy lol~!! bang wall bang wall~! thn i fan for him oso la.. walao he sweat like open tap lo.. haha~! emi laugh also cos reali too much sweat le like juz finish swimming.. haha~! o.. he injured his finger also.. hurhur~! heartpain sia~! idiot bike injure him *%^$$#^(~!!!!!! thn his hip also injured.. kaox.. reali dunno how to take care of himself sia~ wanna bang wall again~! lol~! oh haha thn they i mean vith keep disturbing another guy sia.. damn action lo~! extreme yaya papaya~! kaox.. talk like some big shot.. thn end up onli a amatuer~! lol~! my dar also expert liao lo.. wahahaha~! oopss.. one shall not be proud~! be humble.. but it's the fact la~! lalala~! thn got one part dar give me eat the biscuit with the choco de thn fei er very funny she see liao she bang wall.. lol~! but so sweetttttt sia~!!! wahaha~! damn happy..!! dar n dharni also get along quite well la.. in fact dar got along well with almost al my frens! heex.. so happy~!!!! =) walao thn they gang up bully me =( nabeissssss~ vith say i got 2BF (dar n dharni) thn i act la play play ma.. thn dar walk away act angry.. haha but play nia la.. thn i walk to him he n dharni hug~!!! neh neh pok sia~!!! lol but very funny la~!!! haha~! cos dar very sweatty thn dharni's reaction very funny lol~!!! toda emi also say vith got 6diff "countries" on his tummy.. thn i say dar onli got 1 united kingdom~! lol~! thn emi say ask him train la *hint hint* lol~! i dun reali mind la but if have diff countries better rite~ can "travel" the world lol~!! wah thn i very happy sia when i goin home i dun wan disturb dar ma so nv sms him take care al tat lo.. thn i thot he wont sms me cos he riding ma.. thn suddenly when i walkin home i thot is mama G sms me cos i sms-ing with her thn when open up is dar~! wah damn happy sia~! heex.. i'm easily satisfied ok~! lalala~! damn sian.. the onli few things that spoile my day is 1st. MY AIR-CON SPOILE~!!!! 2nd.i got headache~! 3rd.dunno y dance half way my hip damn pain also.. muscle i tink.. 4th.gastric for no reason.. i got eat lei.. >.< damn sian~! but happy la~! lalala~! heex.. yeaa tml FINALLY can go serangoon find dar le~!!! waiting for this day abit very long le lo.. lol~! scared lost my way nia.. am a terrible road nerd ok~! damn sian *action.. but nvm la can de.. jiayou ba~! tml nite got dance also.. at braddell with yutaki.. yea love the dance so much man~ nice one.. but muz reali BIANG BIANG dance thn nice la.. lol~ stil not Biang enough now.. haha~!
today went to esplanade to find dar dar and of cos to dance la.. lol~ actually dance was cancelled cos at first onli me emi n ash can.. thn end up emi n ash wanna dance thn say fei er wan too.. lol so we went lo.. i so free ma.. at first quite sian la cos dar not goin.. thn end up he go lalala~! happy~!! =) i bought BK to surprise him.. heehee~ juz like to surprise him na.. but he dun like i waste money.. hmmm nvm next time i make.. *pray hard he wont kana food poisoning can liao.. haha~! juz like to see him smile =) he very sweet nei~! i say very hot thn he take paper fan for me arghhhh so sweet~!!! OMG i goin crazy lol~!! bang wall bang wall~! thn i fan for him oso la.. walao he sweat like open tap lo.. haha~! emi laugh also cos reali too much sweat le like juz finish swimming.. haha~! o.. he injured his finger also.. hurhur~! heartpain sia~! idiot bike injure him *%^$$#^(~!!!!!! thn his hip also injured.. kaox.. reali dunno how to take care of himself sia~ wanna bang wall again~! lol~! oh haha thn they i mean vith keep disturbing another guy sia.. damn action lo~! extreme yaya papaya~! kaox.. talk like some big shot.. thn end up onli a amatuer~! lol~! my dar also expert liao lo.. wahahaha~! oopss.. one shall not be proud~! be humble.. but it's the fact la~! lalala~! thn got one part dar give me eat the biscuit with the choco de thn fei er very funny she see liao she bang wall.. lol~! but so sweetttttt sia~!!! wahaha~! damn happy..!! dar n dharni also get along quite well la.. in fact dar got along well with almost al my frens! heex.. so happy~!!!! =) walao thn they gang up bully me =( nabeissssss~ vith say i got 2BF (dar n dharni) thn i act la play play ma.. thn dar walk away act angry.. haha but play nia la.. thn i walk to him he n dharni hug~!!! neh neh pok sia~!!! lol but very funny la~!!! haha~! cos dar very sweatty thn dharni's reaction very funny lol~!!! toda emi also say vith got 6diff "countries" on his tummy.. thn i say dar onli got 1 united kingdom~! lol~! thn emi say ask him train la *hint hint* lol~! i dun reali mind la but if have diff countries better rite~ can "travel" the world lol~!! wah thn i very happy sia when i goin home i dun wan disturb dar ma so nv sms him take care al tat lo.. thn i thot he wont sms me cos he riding ma.. thn suddenly when i walkin home i thot is mama G sms me cos i sms-ing with her thn when open up is dar~! wah damn happy sia~! heex.. i'm easily satisfied ok~! lalala~! damn sian.. the onli few things that spoile my day is 1st. MY AIR-CON SPOILE~!!!! 2nd.i got headache~! 3rd.dunno y dance half way my hip damn pain also.. muscle i tink.. 4th.gastric for no reason.. i got eat lei.. >.< damn sian~! but happy la~! lalala~! heex.. yeaa tml FINALLY can go serangoon find dar le~!!! waiting for this day abit very long le lo.. lol~! scared lost my way nia.. am a terrible road nerd ok~! damn sian *action.. but nvm la can de.. jiayou ba~! tml nite got dance also.. at braddell with yutaki.. yea love the dance so much man~ nice one.. but muz reali BIANG BIANG dance thn nice la.. lol~ stil not Biang enough now.. haha~!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
EMO?
wah.. today damn damn emo~! wat's wrong man~!!! argh~! supposed to be a happy day wat.. =( hmm.. juz kinda miss him so much every min now.. but i know i cannot be so STICKY~!!!! i dun wan him to be felt controlled or anythin.. i dun wanna be a burden to him.. maybe i reali shouldn't sms him tat much or be in touch with him tat much.. it's not that i dun miss him anymore but i reali reali reali dun wan him to have the feeling of being controlled or ruled.. he muz have his own personal space.. but i can say la this time i give him reali so much more space thn any of my ex.. well lessons muz always be learnt.. sometimes i feel that we're so not in the same world.. but isn't that thething that make a relationship last? look at sisi n zhiwei.. they're so diff yet so gd.. haha.. so i'm goin al out for it.. nothin is impossible i guess =) so i muz smile more~!! haha~!! =D emo no more i guess.. shall never feel so emo again.. cos wat's the point of bein emo rite.. haha~! kill more brain cells onli.. rather use the effort to tink how to surprise him n how to work on the path to a perfect GF~ wahahaha~! ok the happy xinwei is back in action~! not gonna care bout anythin like wat dar said.. guess should have this mentality ba.. life might thn be better i guess =) SMILE~!!! the world is beautiful~
wah.. today damn damn emo~! wat's wrong man~!!! argh~! supposed to be a happy day wat.. =( hmm.. juz kinda miss him so much every min now.. but i know i cannot be so STICKY~!!!! i dun wan him to be felt controlled or anythin.. i dun wanna be a burden to him.. maybe i reali shouldn't sms him tat much or be in touch with him tat much.. it's not that i dun miss him anymore but i reali reali reali dun wan him to have the feeling of being controlled or ruled.. he muz have his own personal space.. but i can say la this time i give him reali so much more space thn any of my ex.. well lessons muz always be learnt.. sometimes i feel that we're so not in the same world.. but isn't that thething that make a relationship last? look at sisi n zhiwei.. they're so diff yet so gd.. haha.. so i'm goin al out for it.. nothin is impossible i guess =) so i muz smile more~!! haha~!! =D emo no more i guess.. shall never feel so emo again.. cos wat's the point of bein emo rite.. haha~! kill more brain cells onli.. rather use the effort to tink how to surprise him n how to work on the path to a perfect GF~ wahahaha~! ok the happy xinwei is back in action~! not gonna care bout anythin like wat dar said.. guess should have this mentality ba.. life might thn be better i guess =) SMILE~!!! the world is beautiful~
Monday, December 19, 2005
Our First Date.. =^,^=
yesterday was our first date =) we went to cineleisure to catch KING KONG~ we watch midnite show 12.20am.. i met dar dar earlier at bout 3pm at cine thn we went to shop ard.. to spend more time with him ma heehee.. thn we went to action city n dar dar bought a guardian angel pig soft-toy for me so happy sia~!! =) we thn wen to cine again to eat.. cos he haven eat.. we thn ate at foodcourt.. thn after awhile emi n vith came to find us le lo.. we thn went to arcade play thn walk here walk there.. thn we met carmen n sisi we went to balcony at heeren to drink cos carmen's bday ma.. thn acc her also lo.. we drank quite alot la.. haha~ til bout 11+ thn we went to yoshinoya to eat thn slack thn go movie le lo.. the show's damn damn damn nice~! cried terribly~! lol~ after the show we went to OG outside to slack til morning first train.. thn dar dar came my place to ZzZz.. hmm happening na~ lol *shy* haha~ it juz felt so damn gd with him eside me juz by sleepin =) so happy to be in his arms.. but felt rather weird la cos emi n vith not tgt but they're like more like couple thn me n dar =( tink dar felt it too.. wanna noe more.. read on..
Emo Talk With Dar..
tonite reali very emo sia.. dunno why =( when dar dar left thn i super sian liao.. no mood to slack at mac.. hais.. shit~ tink i startin to get sticky again~!! NOOOO~! >.< i left mac at bout 8pm.. juz wanna go home n chat with him.. we chat alot on the phone.. i told him wat i was unhappy bout la.. the pain-the "hidden" feeling.. my name in his phone thingy.. and i felt that he's not reali happy in our relationship as well.. so i asked him la.. thn he say he felt somethin missin.. i admit i felt it too.. he said it's like we cant talk to each other truly.. but hmmm i felt abit la.. maybe language prob? but i'm sure this kinda things can work out de lo.. it juz takes time.. i'll be there to help too ma.. and he's rather affected by $ issue as well la.. hmm dun reali wish to talk bout it here.. but al i can say is.. in a relationship $ yes it's important but i believe with the love we had for one another things wil work out fine.. dar.. i wanna say is dun carry the full load al alone.. i'm here to share with u.. dun forget me.. i dun wan u to walk this alone.. i mean.. i'm not juz me n u're not juz u.. i'm in u n u're in me.. unless u dun feel it that way la.. i dun wan us to draw such a clear line.. u understand?? he too said that he's 80% confident in our relationship.. i onli hope it'll grow more as time goes by.. i dun ask for 100% now.. but i hope we'll juz be the rite one for each other.. we stil got a longgggggg way to go.. a longggggggg way to tahan.. he's so bz now with his sch n next year after his sch, he got NS.. *faint* reali dunno wat to do man.. but i believe n hope that love can conquer al obstacles.. i'll do everythin i can to kepp this flame burning.. to keep us goin on..
KING KONG..
juz feel like writing bout this.. when watchin king kong.. my feelings reali is damn overwhelming~! i reali wish to find this kinda guy.. noe wat.. king kong love this girl so much that he WONT allow anythin bad to happen to her.. no matter wat.. even if being attack by 3 T-rex at the same time, gettin terribly injured by al the shootings from the planes.. no one can take her away from him.. it's abit too force-ful la i mean love cant be force but he juz forced it.. haha.. but it's reali PURE TRUE INNOCENT love~! it's like he juz wanna protect her.. towards the end he dun force her to be with him anymore but he stil cares so much for her.. he'll juz be there each time she's in danger.. and there's this part that's reali sweet where they play king kong n the girl happily "skating" on ice.. thou king kong looks rather stupid at that moment but it's REALLLLL sweet..!! OMG~!! he's juz so happy to see her smile.. i tink this is wat true love is ba.. true love overcomes al obstacles.. even can tame the king of kings.. the king of beast which initially dun have any feelings for anythin.. p/s: dar.. i dun mean u're not true to me ok~!! >.< this part of my blog is juz some after-movie review.. lol~ makes me see so clearly wat pure love is.. you're perfect enough.. maybe i'm stil not.. but give me time ok~ allow me to learn.. love u~! =)
yesterday was our first date =) we went to cineleisure to catch KING KONG~ we watch midnite show 12.20am.. i met dar dar earlier at bout 3pm at cine thn we went to shop ard.. to spend more time with him ma heehee.. thn we went to action city n dar dar bought a guardian angel pig soft-toy for me so happy sia~!! =) we thn wen to cine again to eat.. cos he haven eat.. we thn ate at foodcourt.. thn after awhile emi n vith came to find us le lo.. we thn went to arcade play thn walk here walk there.. thn we met carmen n sisi we went to balcony at heeren to drink cos carmen's bday ma.. thn acc her also lo.. we drank quite alot la.. haha~ til bout 11+ thn we went to yoshinoya to eat thn slack thn go movie le lo.. the show's damn damn damn nice~! cried terribly~! lol~ after the show we went to OG outside to slack til morning first train.. thn dar dar came my place to ZzZz.. hmm happening na~ lol *shy* haha~ it juz felt so damn gd with him eside me juz by sleepin =) so happy to be in his arms.. but felt rather weird la cos emi n vith not tgt but they're like more like couple thn me n dar =( tink dar felt it too.. wanna noe more.. read on..
Emo Talk With Dar..
tonite reali very emo sia.. dunno why =( when dar dar left thn i super sian liao.. no mood to slack at mac.. hais.. shit~ tink i startin to get sticky again~!! NOOOO~! >.< i left mac at bout 8pm.. juz wanna go home n chat with him.. we chat alot on the phone.. i told him wat i was unhappy bout la.. the pain-the "hidden" feeling.. my name in his phone thingy.. and i felt that he's not reali happy in our relationship as well.. so i asked him la.. thn he say he felt somethin missin.. i admit i felt it too.. he said it's like we cant talk to each other truly.. but hmmm i felt abit la.. maybe language prob? but i'm sure this kinda things can work out de lo.. it juz takes time.. i'll be there to help too ma.. and he's rather affected by $ issue as well la.. hmm dun reali wish to talk bout it here.. but al i can say is.. in a relationship $ yes it's important but i believe with the love we had for one another things wil work out fine.. dar.. i wanna say is dun carry the full load al alone.. i'm here to share with u.. dun forget me.. i dun wan u to walk this alone.. i mean.. i'm not juz me n u're not juz u.. i'm in u n u're in me.. unless u dun feel it that way la.. i dun wan us to draw such a clear line.. u understand?? he too said that he's 80% confident in our relationship.. i onli hope it'll grow more as time goes by.. i dun ask for 100% now.. but i hope we'll juz be the rite one for each other.. we stil got a longgggggg way to go.. a longggggggg way to tahan.. he's so bz now with his sch n next year after his sch, he got NS.. *faint* reali dunno wat to do man.. but i believe n hope that love can conquer al obstacles.. i'll do everythin i can to kepp this flame burning.. to keep us goin on..
KING KONG..
juz feel like writing bout this.. when watchin king kong.. my feelings reali is damn overwhelming~! i reali wish to find this kinda guy.. noe wat.. king kong love this girl so much that he WONT allow anythin bad to happen to her.. no matter wat.. even if being attack by 3 T-rex at the same time, gettin terribly injured by al the shootings from the planes.. no one can take her away from him.. it's abit too force-ful la i mean love cant be force but he juz forced it.. haha.. but it's reali PURE TRUE INNOCENT love~! it's like he juz wanna protect her.. towards the end he dun force her to be with him anymore but he stil cares so much for her.. he'll juz be there each time she's in danger.. and there's this part that's reali sweet where they play king kong n the girl happily "skating" on ice.. thou king kong looks rather stupid at that moment but it's REALLLLL sweet..!! OMG~!! he's juz so happy to see her smile.. i tink this is wat true love is ba.. true love overcomes al obstacles.. even can tame the king of kings.. the king of beast which initially dun have any feelings for anythin.. p/s: dar.. i dun mean u're not true to me ok~!! >.< this part of my blog is juz some after-movie review.. lol~ makes me see so clearly wat pure love is.. you're perfect enough.. maybe i'm stil not.. but give me time ok~ allow me to learn.. love u~! =)
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Hmmm..
i started of my day with a smile cos i receive dar dar's sms.. but continued with troubles whole day long.. =( cos he send me "wat if one day i cant make u smile no more?" and that reali reali affected me.. i juz cant simply smile today.. nothin can make me reali smile.. when was havin dance with yutaki, i can onli force myself to be so damn concentrate to leave the worried-ness in me aside.. =( i'm juz so damn afraid tat he'll juz leave me one day.. haix.. i did ask him wat he mean la but he say he's juz talkin nonsense.. hmmm hope tat's it's reali nonsense ba.. maybe he stil cant put in his all for me.. cos like wat sisi said.. he had so much memory with his ex.. they're tgt for nearly 2years lei.. it wont be ez for him to reali 100% let go so fast.. to him i maybe talkin nonsense now la.. but i reali quite emo today la.. haiz dunno why.. ytd i have this dream.. tat he juz wanna leave me and tell me straight in my face that "sorry i cant take care of u anymore.. i decided to go back to her.." walao reali wanna die when i woke up sia.. =( when i told sisi bout it she say last time got someone tell her b4 tat if we dream of this kinda things it means tat u n the person wil last.. wah thn i more relax le la.. hopefully ba.. but i'm stil damn emo today la =( maybe it's pms reaction.. argh~!! nvm la tml wil be better.. confirm~!! cos i'll be finally goin out with my dar dar on a date already~!! yay~! got my shirt n everythin ready.. heex~ guess this is the onli thing i'lll be able to smile at today ba.. may my emo-ness be gone soon~!! and may we be able to settle dowwn stably soon~ =) p/s:he asked me wat pain do i mean on my msn nick.. al i can say is it's for me to noe for u to find out.. b4 this pain goes off i guess i'll nv be 100% happy.. so i'm prayin reali hard for the day that this pain goes off.. (sisi u noe wat i mean la.. haha)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
2nd post again.. before~ after...
Before Baby 's words**
another emo nite missin my baby again =..( i finally cried feelin pain again.. i dunno why i just had this F up feelin.. it's like last time when we meet i didnt reali spend alot of private time with him thn now i reali wanna spend more private time with him, it's either he cant or i cant.. and i reali hate this~! why do i feel so iritated.. i swear i love him so much that i can die.. but why is my heart so afraid of that hidden somethin?? i dunno wat is it.. but juz afraid.. i'm sorry dear.. but give me time.. i wil give my all to u.. i wan to too~!! but i know i muz understand this.. it's his final year now n the most impt part now.. sisi juz told me sem wil end in mar.. now i wish mar come faster.. thn i can spend more time with him.. omg.. i reali reali love him so much but wat is my heart so afraid of?!!! oh shit i'm cryin so damn terribly tonite again..! argh~! i need a hug.. a tight hug from him.. haix.. no mood to work tml le.. not goin.. n sick too.. hais.. why do god always like to play this kinda things? makin me so sad n emo.. hope it'll be a blessin in disguise ba.. =.....................(
After Baby 's words**
i tink mr jonathan james danker is a magician.. know why? he can made me cry juz by seein his name appeared on my hp screen.. and he can make me smile juz by seein his sms..! amazin huh~ ok i'm crazy already.. few min before now, i was cryin terribly.. tears juz rolled down my cheeks.. extreme jialat kind.. i juz miss him so damn much~!! and i told him bout everythin that i am feelin now.. al the insecurities, "jealousy", faithless me.. but he always seem to be so understandin.. he always know the rite words to say~!! and always brings me outta hell and into heaven.. i feel like another big bag of rocks bein unloaded again.. the feelin is so damn gd.. i juz needhim to be there for me.. not physically(he'll faint) but mentally..i juz needsomeone to be there for me to cry to, for me to share my joy with n to control my temper for me.. and u know.. his each n every single word mean somethin to me.. every word touched me so much.. i never wanna let him go~! now i'm even more sure.. i tink if everyday liddat i'll have to raise my maximum points to 100000000000000percent.. lol~! but he juz reali can assure me that i'll smile to ZzZz each nite.. ever since 7dec2005(not the day we're tgt but the day we know each other), i've been smiling everynite without fail to ZzZz~! tink my mum's gonna tink that i'm crazy la.. haha~! oh ya.. mummy already know bout me n him.. lol~! she onli faint that he cant speak chinese.. lol~! *baby i'm hinting~!* haha~!! when they meet i tink i'll need lots n lotsa water to replenish my saliva lost during translation lol~!! dunno mummy wil like him ornt.. oh oh~ haha but i tink wil la.. such a adorable boy, who dun love~! i'm juz damn lucky i had him~! he's mine ok~!!! lol~!! mine mine mine~! "i love u.." this maybe juz a 3 words sentence tat's always said.. but today.. at this very moment i reali say it n mean it so much to my dear jonathan~! baby i love nobody but u.. (err- clover sharin too wor.. lol)
Before Baby 's words**
another emo nite missin my baby again =..( i finally cried feelin pain again.. i dunno why i just had this F up feelin.. it's like last time when we meet i didnt reali spend alot of private time with him thn now i reali wanna spend more private time with him, it's either he cant or i cant.. and i reali hate this~! why do i feel so iritated.. i swear i love him so much that i can die.. but why is my heart so afraid of that hidden somethin?? i dunno wat is it.. but juz afraid.. i'm sorry dear.. but give me time.. i wil give my all to u.. i wan to too~!! but i know i muz understand this.. it's his final year now n the most impt part now.. sisi juz told me sem wil end in mar.. now i wish mar come faster.. thn i can spend more time with him.. omg.. i reali reali love him so much but wat is my heart so afraid of?!!! oh shit i'm cryin so damn terribly tonite again..! argh~! i need a hug.. a tight hug from him.. haix.. no mood to work tml le.. not goin.. n sick too.. hais.. why do god always like to play this kinda things? makin me so sad n emo.. hope it'll be a blessin in disguise ba.. =.....................(
After Baby 's words**
i tink mr jonathan james danker is a magician.. know why? he can made me cry juz by seein his name appeared on my hp screen.. and he can make me smile juz by seein his sms..! amazin huh~ ok i'm crazy already.. few min before now, i was cryin terribly.. tears juz rolled down my cheeks.. extreme jialat kind.. i juz miss him so damn much~!! and i told him bout everythin that i am feelin now.. al the insecurities, "jealousy", faithless me.. but he always seem to be so understandin.. he always know the rite words to say~!! and always brings me outta hell and into heaven.. i feel like another big bag of rocks bein unloaded again.. the feelin is so damn gd.. i juz needhim to be there for me.. not physically(he'll faint) but mentally..i juz needsomeone to be there for me to cry to, for me to share my joy with n to control my temper for me.. and u know.. his each n every single word mean somethin to me.. every word touched me so much.. i never wanna let him go~! now i'm even more sure.. i tink if everyday liddat i'll have to raise my maximum points to 100000000000000percent.. lol~! but he juz reali can assure me that i'll smile to ZzZz each nite.. ever since 7dec2005(not the day we're tgt but the day we know each other), i've been smiling everynite without fail to ZzZz~! tink my mum's gonna tink that i'm crazy la.. haha~! oh ya.. mummy already know bout me n him.. lol~! she onli faint that he cant speak chinese.. lol~! *baby i'm hinting~!* haha~!! when they meet i tink i'll need lots n lotsa water to replenish my saliva lost during translation lol~!! dunno mummy wil like him ornt.. oh oh~ haha but i tink wil la.. such a adorable boy, who dun love~! i'm juz damn lucky i had him~! he's mine ok~!!! lol~!! mine mine mine~! "i love u.." this maybe juz a 3 words sentence tat's always said.. but today.. at this very moment i reali say it n mean it so much to my dear jonathan~! baby i love nobody but u.. (err- clover sharin too wor.. lol)
NOT MY DAY AT WORK~
kaox damn sian~!! today was actually a perfect day at the beginnin.. i thot wil end nicely as well.. but when towards the end of the stupid roadshow at the stupid UOB, nabeis~!!! got 2uncle very $*%&# sia~!! scold me for nothin~! kaox.. F them off man~!! spoile my day~! was very happy cos dar dar got sms me.. i like it when receive his sms unknowingly.. =) juz so sweet when ur love one sms u.. heex~ thn walao that 2 stupid ah pek come i sian half~! thn lagi best is C vent anger on me.. i know she stomache la but no need vent on me rite.. i havin pms also wat kaox~! thn with my stupid tummy cramps and al the shit that i'm gettin, walao cant tahan sia~! thn wanna complain to dar dar but scared dsturb him cos he tired thn i wan him rest.. f not thn let him do his project ma.. dun char him.. this year final year wan him do well.. =) but til end work i reali buayt ahan liao thn i sms him complain le lo.. haha~! when see his sms i happy liao.. hee.. aiya as long as i'm in touch with him i happy le la~ =^,^= toda he went toa payoh with ray they al to spray bike.. hmm so nv meet up lo.. i got dance at esplanade ma.. damn sian.. i no morale to dance le sia.. they al so slack.. thn now they come back al got morale i no morale le.. haiz dunno la.. felt so tired of al the draggings n nonsence that i've seen i VIP.. haix.. aiya dam sian tml dunno can see baby ornt.. >.< he got sch i got work.. he muz do fyp lei thn i dun wan disturb.. =( so see how la maybe wil go serangoon meet him lo.. muz spend more time with dar dar le =) if tml nv meet thn hopefully sat can go esplanade acc him lo.. du mind al the tiredness dun mind al the ma fan-ness.. i juz wanna see him~! =) sunday is the DAY that i'm lookin forward to soooooo much now~! haha~! cos goin out with dar dar~! yeah~! our very first official date wor~ haha~! muz take photo that day =) watchin movie too.. king kong~! yea now got ppl acc me watch movie le.. last time bing n si al attach thn no movie with me.. al movie with their dars.. &^$*%$*( damn sian~! nvm now i have le wahaha~! argh can sunday like come faster~!!!! my god.............
kaox damn sian~!! today was actually a perfect day at the beginnin.. i thot wil end nicely as well.. but when towards the end of the stupid roadshow at the stupid UOB, nabeis~!!! got 2uncle very $*%&# sia~!! scold me for nothin~! kaox.. F them off man~!! spoile my day~! was very happy cos dar dar got sms me.. i like it when receive his sms unknowingly.. =) juz so sweet when ur love one sms u.. heex~ thn walao that 2 stupid ah pek come i sian half~! thn lagi best is C vent anger on me.. i know she stomache la but no need vent on me rite.. i havin pms also wat kaox~! thn with my stupid tummy cramps and al the shit that i'm gettin, walao cant tahan sia~! thn wanna complain to dar dar but scared dsturb him cos he tired thn i wan him rest.. f not thn let him do his project ma.. dun char him.. this year final year wan him do well.. =) but til end work i reali buayt ahan liao thn i sms him complain le lo.. haha~! when see his sms i happy liao.. hee.. aiya as long as i'm in touch with him i happy le la~ =^,^= toda he went toa payoh with ray they al to spray bike.. hmm so nv meet up lo.. i got dance at esplanade ma.. damn sian.. i no morale to dance le sia.. they al so slack.. thn now they come back al got morale i no morale le.. haiz dunno la.. felt so tired of al the draggings n nonsence that i've seen i VIP.. haix.. aiya dam sian tml dunno can see baby ornt.. >.< he got sch i got work.. he muz do fyp lei thn i dun wan disturb.. =( so see how la maybe wil go serangoon meet him lo.. muz spend more time with dar dar le =) if tml nv meet thn hopefully sat can go esplanade acc him lo.. du mind al the tiredness dun mind al the ma fan-ness.. i juz wanna see him~! =) sunday is the DAY that i'm lookin forward to soooooo much now~! haha~! cos goin out with dar dar~! yeah~! our very first official date wor~ haha~! muz take photo that day =) watchin movie too.. king kong~! yea now got ppl acc me watch movie le.. last time bing n si al attach thn no movie with me.. al movie with their dars.. &^$*%$*( damn sian~! nvm now i have le wahaha~! argh can sunday like come faster~!!!! my god.............
=^,^=
today simply am i happyyyyyyyyyyy~! had a long chat with baby jon =) love him sooooooooo much now~!!! we had a longgg chat at my house downstairs the BBQ pit there.. =) i got to know him so much more now.. his family, his past relationship, his frens, his life.. and one thing.. he mentioned that i spend too little time with him =( baby i'm reai reali sorry~!! i reali wanna spend lots n lots of time with u alone~ in fact i wanna spend all my time with u.. but i have to be fair to my clover girls n VIP.. and one thing i'm very afraid is that one day he'll get so sick of seein me n juz decided to leave me one fine day.. =( which had alwaysssss happen to me =( i reali cant afford to lose this baby~! baby~ dun ever feel that u're juz another person in my life ok~! u definitely is someone so damn special to me..!!! u know juz by sittin by his side, listening to him talkin n juz by seein him, is juz such a enjoyable thing to do.. when we hugged so damn tightly, i knew he's the one tat i had always been dreamin of.. i reali do~ someone who treat me like a princess n love me juz the way i am.. juz a pure love that i had always been waiting for al my life.. now he had finally appeared.. i reali hope he'll be the one that walks with me for life.. til the very day i die.. i dun wanna lose him n i had never been so sure of this.. i had always been rather sad in my past 18years.. now is he the one that's gonna me happy for the next part of my life? i reali wish.. now that i've got him.. al the past sufferings are al worth it~! he keep sayin i'm cute.. lol~! hope it's not juz some sweet talks.. he's also my cutie baby~ lookin at his blur looks reali makes me so happy that i can simply smile =) guess wat.. i'm onli his 2nd gf wor =) wahaha rather shocked.. this shows he's a gd guy~! haha~ the things that we chat about tells me that he's reali reali the kinda guy i wan~ b4 this conversation, i'm stil rather worried that this step that i took to be with him might lead to nowhere again.. but now.. i know he's true.. 100percent true.. i promise i wil quit smokin..! give me more time ok baby~? he's so damn sweet.. he said smoke less.. he didnt say dun smoke.. it does make a difference ok~! so understandin.. =) ok we juz part for less thn an hour n now i'm missin him like crazy =( tml might not be able to see him.. hurhur saddy~! hope can see him on fri.. heex.. we did chat about x'mas as well la.. hmmm he wan to spend it with me.. but he stil have a unfulfilled date.. so i reali dunno wat to do now.. dunno wat to expect on x'mas.. for him to be there? or not.. of cos i hope he'll be with me la.. first time in my life spendin x'mas with my someone special ok~! oh yes~! he said that he's so deeply in love with me now.. i'm so freakin happy when hear that~!!! finally that word "deep" came outta his mouth.. haha~! juz wanna say i'm sooooooo deeply n madly in love with u too~! i'll spend more time with u ok baby~! trust me~! *loves*
today simply am i happyyyyyyyyyyy~! had a long chat with baby jon =) love him sooooooooo much now~!!! we had a longgg chat at my house downstairs the BBQ pit there.. =) i got to know him so much more now.. his family, his past relationship, his frens, his life.. and one thing.. he mentioned that i spend too little time with him =( baby i'm reai reali sorry~!! i reali wanna spend lots n lots of time with u alone~ in fact i wanna spend all my time with u.. but i have to be fair to my clover girls n VIP.. and one thing i'm very afraid is that one day he'll get so sick of seein me n juz decided to leave me one fine day.. =( which had alwaysssss happen to me =( i reali cant afford to lose this baby~! baby~ dun ever feel that u're juz another person in my life ok~! u definitely is someone so damn special to me..!!! u know juz by sittin by his side, listening to him talkin n juz by seein him, is juz such a enjoyable thing to do.. when we hugged so damn tightly, i knew he's the one tat i had always been dreamin of.. i reali do~ someone who treat me like a princess n love me juz the way i am.. juz a pure love that i had always been waiting for al my life.. now he had finally appeared.. i reali hope he'll be the one that walks with me for life.. til the very day i die.. i dun wanna lose him n i had never been so sure of this.. i had always been rather sad in my past 18years.. now is he the one that's gonna me happy for the next part of my life? i reali wish.. now that i've got him.. al the past sufferings are al worth it~! he keep sayin i'm cute.. lol~! hope it's not juz some sweet talks.. he's also my cutie baby~ lookin at his blur looks reali makes me so happy that i can simply smile =) guess wat.. i'm onli his 2nd gf wor =) wahaha rather shocked.. this shows he's a gd guy~! haha~ the things that we chat about tells me that he's reali reali the kinda guy i wan~ b4 this conversation, i'm stil rather worried that this step that i took to be with him might lead to nowhere again.. but now.. i know he's true.. 100percent true.. i promise i wil quit smokin..! give me more time ok baby~? he's so damn sweet.. he said smoke less.. he didnt say dun smoke.. it does make a difference ok~! so understandin.. =) ok we juz part for less thn an hour n now i'm missin him like crazy =( tml might not be able to see him.. hurhur saddy~! hope can see him on fri.. heex.. we did chat about x'mas as well la.. hmmm he wan to spend it with me.. but he stil have a unfulfilled date.. so i reali dunno wat to do now.. dunno wat to expect on x'mas.. for him to be there? or not.. of cos i hope he'll be with me la.. first time in my life spendin x'mas with my someone special ok~! oh yes~! he said that he's so deeply in love with me now.. i'm so freakin happy when hear that~!!! finally that word "deep" came outta his mouth.. haha~! juz wanna say i'm sooooooo deeply n madly in love with u too~! i'll spend more time with u ok baby~! trust me~! *loves*
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
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HMMM~
today my mood is very up and down.. of cos up more la.. heex.. when i woke up i saw baby's sms sayin he didnt go sch -_- lol~! so we meet up at cityhall to shop around lo.. to me, shop around is juz a excuse la.. haha~ juz wanna spend time with him =) when i woke up b4 seein his sms i thot to myself "no no no i cannot see him so much later i become too dependent on him i die~" lol well tat's the mistake tat i always made in my past relationship ma rite~ lol~! thn when see the sms already argh~! i wanna see him~!! haha.. so we met up.. we went to suntec to walk around lo.. juz felt gd when he holds my hand and gives me the hug =) sweetie~!! heex.. i love being in his arms.. felt so warm.. we thn slack ard at suntec n raffles city lo.. i acc him to eat BK while waiting for erika they al.. we took few photos heex.. wanna upload them but dunno wat's wrong with this stupid blog.. juz cant get the pics up *%&^#^*~! irritating~! but nvm.. i happy can le.. heex.. he's reali sweet with his actions.. love him so much..! when erika they al reach already we went to esplanade thn.. juz dance there n slack lo.. as usual.. baby went there to study.. i mean "STUDY" bike lesson~! lol~! but at least he did study la.. =) i keep gettin disturb by dion they all.. argh~! idiot~ but nvm.. i happy can liao lol~! b4 we went home baby sat down n chatted with us.. am reali glad he did.. at least he do mix with my frens.. that's the most basic thing rite.. n better stil they clique~! haha~ dharni ash n him lame til i cannot tahan sia haha~! but i juz love to listen to him lamin with my frens.. =) b4 i left, we gave each other a half-hug.. lol~! shy la~! he wanted to send me home but i didnt wan him to cos it's rather late already n tml he stil have test.. when walkin home, dion asked "why u two nv hold hand one?" oh hoho~ hmm gd question.. wel the ans is.. we're shy~!! haha~ but i like this.. dun always stick to one another when we're with groups rite.. it's best to mix around.. deep down we know who's the special one can already~ dun have to announce to the whole world (thou i reali would love to~haha).. when reach home, i bathe and al la.. thn when i went to the kitchen to smoke(oopss.. sorry baby) it start to rain.. and poof~ here my feelings rised.. i start to feel abit emo.. thn i tink.. why he wanna hide our relationship.. and how long is he gonna hide.. i know he reali dun wan someone to get hurt la.. tat i understand but i personally somehow felt abit empty in me.. it's rather hurtin but at least the reason is acceptable la.. so i wont blame him.. i'll juz have to wait til the very special day when we can reali reali announce that we're tgt~ for that moment i wanna talk to the stars in the sky.. but no star to be found -_-.. i've been talkin to stars almost everyday nowadays.. lol~ and the weather seems to change accordin to my mood.. ever since G left me.. haha kinda freaky but happy that heaven knows.. =) when it rain today, i felt that heaven's cryin for me.. but i said to them "dun cry for me.. i'm happy enough.." and i mean it.. i'm reali glad he came into my life and loved me the way he does.. slow n steady~ i juz hate those guys who rushed into everythin n juz stick ot u like super glue.. i know it's to show ppl how "lovely" we are but i stil tink it's abit over.. so i'm glad i've got him =) well i did talk to sisi bout my emo la.. she said maybe it's tat we juz got tgt so definitely i'll feel rather empty n insecure.. but as time goes by, i'll see the truth.. hmm we come to this conclusion tat maybe he's too innocent.. haha~ yes~ he is~! such a little baby boy.. but i like his cuteness~ heex~! pure n innocent~ =) hmmm tink i shouldnt tink so much.. no more emo~!!! lalala~ i'm a happy girl haha~! oya i read his phone's sms today.. hmm tink he had a date with his ex on x'mas.. guess it was made b4 they broke.. of cos somehow my heart dropped abit la.. but i'm stil ok with it.. this kinda things i understand~ but when i ask him bout it he say he wanna spend his x'mas with me.. of cos i wanna spendwith him too.. but wat i felt is maybe he reali should go to the date? it's a promise made.. and i hate ppl breakin promises to me.. so i guess it wont be a nice feelin for her too.. on the selfish side-i wan him on that day!!! on the nice side-he should go.. argh~! i'm soooooo blur now.. mind is filled with mixed feelings.. >.< i'm missing his hugs now.. hurhur~ wish he is here beside me.. so i can juz hug him til i fall asleep.. in conclusion, my feelings today is 80percent happy n 20percent saddy.. haha~! oh.. sudddenly reminded of somethin.. today me n baby walked pass gelare where emi n G they al are inside.. lol guess wat emi told me.. she said after G saw us, he become very slow n stone.. haha~ why? he cant believe there's actually someone who'll ever love me? or he cant believe i'm in love with someone else? i've told him lots n lotsa time that if u dun cherish wat u have now, u're gonna lose it one day.. but he nv learn.. too bad.. he had totally lost me.. even as frens.. we're onli workin partners now.. i dun wan someone who took me for granted to be my fren.. no way~! ok i'm missin my baby sooooooo much now..! argh~! bang wall bang wall~! pray that my baby wil do well in his test tml.. hurhur wont get to see him til dunno when le.. hopefully he'll surprise me again like today.. *hint* haha~!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
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I'M IN LOVE~
12 dec 2005.. the day when happiness knocks on my door.. al i can say is i'm soooooo in love.. today is the day where my worries is being prove empty.. =) now he had choosed to walk with me and to take care of my "wounds".. i reali hope he'll be the one that walks with me for life.. til the very day this shooting star stops burning n died.. i reali am too filled with words now.. i dunno is it too soon for us to be tgt.. but i'm very sure i reali do love him and i wont wanna miss such a sweet guy like him.. this my special day this my special darling.. but i stil have so much more to learn to become a perfect gf.. i'm definitely not a perfect gf now and it's rather sad that i cant be a perfect gf for him.. but i promise i'll learn.. and i hope he'll give me the time to learn.. i've never been a serious relationship before.. i mean where both sides are serious.. it's either him or me.. but i'm quite sure that this time it's true.. for me at least la.. am juz sooooo happy~ oh ya another thing.. thou i'm in a relationship now.. i stil muz be very sure that i'll nv leave my clover babes n frens alone.. NEVER~! i'll learn to give my time to everyone equally.. that's one thing i SWEAR i MUST learn.. haha~! babes.. if u ever ever felt left out.. pls pls pls do tell me ok.. i dun wanna lose anyone of u.. reali~ u girls have been there for me whenever i'm sad, angry or happy.. u girls had been the ones who shared everythin with me.. i love u girls so much that i can die ok~ haha~! si-remember u said if i'm attached u'll have no one but to look for zhiwei? i'll prove u wrong this time.. haha~! cos i'm gonna be fair to everyone.. cos i love u equally~! so dun ever think that way again ok~! *muacks* ok the next part of my blog is gonna be quite turn off la~ spoiler of the wonderful nite~!! -_-'''
MR CROACH~!
argh~! when i was typin half way there's this tiny mr flyin croach which dunno how n why he flew n stopped on my screen-_- somehow i manage to "invite" him outta my room la.. with the biggest help of a magazine n lotsa tissues~! i didnt kill him i swear~ i dun dare la~! hurhur~!! OMG~ *faints* it's the first time i'm soooooo calm when i see mr croach man~!! now i'm feeling itchy al over.. argh~! creepy feelin~ Eeeks cant stand it~! can i bathe~?! lazy thou.. haha~!! maybe he's here to congrats me la.. watever it is i beg mr croach NEVER to find me again ok~!!
MR CROACH~!
Monday, December 12, 2005
OMG~
today is a simply "BIANG" day for me la.. lol~ my sweetie banana came al the way to yishun to meet me.. heex.. we juz spend a day at northpoint lo.. got me, sisi, bingbing, mikal n my banana.. we did nothin but slackin n bing n banana studied cos they got exams.. he ask me not to smoke so much.. ok i wil.. heex.. =^,^= he's reali a sweetie.. al his small actions are like OMG~! wahaha~ bing n si like him too.. i mean as a fren or my bf-to-be(i hope).. he makes me feel so different from al the past relationship tat i had been in.. juz a simple sweet relationship.. at bout 9+pm, we al wanna go home so he send me home.. =) hmm.. on the journey-h*gs & k***es.. lol i waited with him at the bus stop for his bus thn.. hmm give and take wat.. heexx.. thn he ask me i trust him so much? i tink about it and say i do.. i reali hope i dun trust wrongly this time round.. i can say now that i had fallen.. now is onli waiting for him to choose to hold me n walk the rest of the journey with me or to choose to let go of me n fall.. let me analyse this.. i see love as a process of falling down.. first u tripped on a rock and injured urself(the rock = the guy who appear) next the person can choose to help u walk the rest of the journey by holdin on to u n take care of ur injuries(choose to be with u n love u).. or he can choose to let u fall and hack care about u(choose not to be with u).. and when a break up occurs, it means he's tired of holdin on to u any longer,he had lost his patience on the healin wound.. so now i'm at the 1st phase where i juz tripped.. hope he'll choose to walk with me.. i'm not bein emo ok dun misunderstand.. haha~ i juz had this thoughts cos i've been fooled before by G where i tripped but he FAKED to walk with me.. which cause my wound to get worst.. i reali pray very hard that i wont be wrong again.. reali reali afraid..
today is a simply "BIANG" day for me la.. lol~ my sweetie banana came al the way to yishun to meet me.. heex.. we juz spend a day at northpoint lo.. got me, sisi, bingbing, mikal n my banana.. we did nothin but slackin n bing n banana studied cos they got exams.. he ask me not to smoke so much.. ok i wil.. heex.. =^,^= he's reali a sweetie.. al his small actions are like OMG~! wahaha~ bing n si like him too.. i mean as a fren or my bf-to-be(i hope).. he makes me feel so different from al the past relationship tat i had been in.. juz a simple sweet relationship.. at bout 9+pm, we al wanna go home so he send me home.. =) hmm.. on the journey-h*gs & k***es.. lol i waited with him at the bus stop for his bus thn.. hmm give and take wat.. heexx.. thn he ask me i trust him so much? i tink about it and say i do.. i reali hope i dun trust wrongly this time round.. i can say now that i had fallen.. now is onli waiting for him to choose to hold me n walk the rest of the journey with me or to choose to let go of me n fall.. let me analyse this.. i see love as a process of falling down.. first u tripped on a rock and injured urself(the rock = the guy who appear) next the person can choose to help u walk the rest of the journey by holdin on to u n take care of ur injuries(choose to be with u n love u).. or he can choose to let u fall and hack care about u(choose not to be with u).. and when a break up occurs, it means he's tired of holdin on to u any longer,he had lost his patience on the healin wound.. so now i'm at the 1st phase where i juz tripped.. hope he'll choose to walk with me.. i'm not bein emo ok dun misunderstand.. haha~ i juz had this thoughts cos i've been fooled before by G where i tripped but he FAKED to walk with me.. which cause my wound to get worst.. i reali pray very hard that i wont be wrong again.. reali reali afraid..
Sunday, December 11, 2005
CLOVER BABES~
today went out with clover.. to haagen dazs for FONDUE~!!! we ate fondue and waffle~ my treat of cos.. got pay ma.. so have to automatic abit la.. oh hoho but i happy la cos FINALLY can get to meet up with ALL of them.. lol~! we went to bishan to eat.. thn took photo~~~ lots n lotsa photos~!! wahaha~ thn took neoprint~ like it so much~!!! wahaha~! very happy today.. in everyway.. wahaha~ and am reali reali glad that each and everyone of us is having a happy life now.. thou mine is stil with ups n downs but at least everythin seems better =)
SWEETIE BANANA~
he's my sweetie man~! sweetie banana fondue..>.< received his sms when i wakey =) brighten up my day again heehee~ sms him rather alot today.. heex felt so happy=) told clover bout him too wahaha~ anyway am chattin with him now.. wahaha~~~ go chat le later thn update my bloggy again~!!! bleah~!! =^,^=
after chat**
i dunno y but can someone use a hammer and DANGG me pls.. i'm emo-ing again~! argh~! i dun wan~!!! i mean i'm reali glad to have him in my life now thou there's stil somethin lacking.. but y am i stil so emo..? and i've promise myself tat once that special someone appears, no more emo for me.. no more smokin no more stubborness.. but.. i reali dunno la........ hurhur~!! tears juz rolled down by itself.. i reali dunno y.. it's juz the sudden sadness filled my heart.. when he told me those stuff, i'm glad.. i know it's tooooo early to say the 3 special words.. i cant say it too.. it's far too early.. well maybe i'm too "comfy" in this thingy that's makin me goin kuku la.. no no no~! muz WAKE UP from this thing~!!! ARGH~! hammer pls~!! i dun wan anymore sadness in my life.. happiness is al i'm lookin for now~ i muz be prepared to lose everythin.. cos nothin stays forever.. esp this thing call love.. unless it's reali meant to be.. so i muz NEVER think that whoever is the one that'll stays FOREVER.. i'm stil learning this.. hopefully life's not that bad afterall.. of cos there are somethings i never never wanna lose.. -clover babes,mummy,and everyone i love and who love me -truly love me i mean.. maybe i should learn to not holdin on to anythin so tightly ba..
HAPPY~!
OMG i cant believe it.. i'm jus soooooooo happy.. i also dunno y.. dun worry i'm stil not attach to anyone or anythin.. juz had the sense of "belonging" nia~! oh hoho~! at first thot maybe he no longer ahem me.. so i'm juz bein BHB.. but i juz chat with him.. and i reali felt so happy.. cos the way he talk.. OMG~!! >.< LOL~!! SWEETIE~!!! wahaha~ ok i'm mad.. he misses me.. VERY FIRST TIME~!! lol~ okok i shall get back to normal now.. no more sweeties now.. LOL~! if not i'll get car bang easily~ hohoho~~~ ok i'm crazily in love now.. hohoho~! single sidedly i guess.. no matter wat stil single ma.. haha~! not reali available thou.. onli to that special someone =) i didnt know i mean somethin to him.. i didnt know each small action of mine might post a msg to him.. i reali didnt know.. but now i know.. he's reali cute.. haha~ *secret* he wanted to ask me go walk walk to have sometime "alone" but shy.. hohoho~ cute~! but he say i didnt wanna talk to him.. but i didnt.. hurhur~ how i wish can juz talk to him man.. walao~ damn sian~! i wanna bang wall man~! i also shy ma.. HELLO i'm a girl~ i reali dunno how to take initiative in such manner.. @_@ haha~! okok al i know is i'm juz reali leadin a happy life now.. maybe abit of prob with VIP but i hope things wil turn out fine soon.. wahaha luv u luv me luv everybody now *muacksss* wahaha~~~ (ok i not enough zZzZ le~madness attack~!!) X)
OMG i cant believe it.. i'm jus soooooooo happy.. i also dunno y.. dun worry i'm stil not attach to anyone or anythin.. juz had the sense of "belonging" nia~! oh hoho~! at first thot maybe he no longer ahem me.. so i'm juz bein BHB.. but i juz chat with him.. and i reali felt so happy.. cos the way he talk.. OMG~!! >.< LOL~!! SWEETIE~!!! wahaha~ ok i'm mad.. he misses me.. VERY FIRST TIME~!! lol~ okok i shall get back to normal now.. no more sweeties now.. LOL~! if not i'll get car bang easily~ hohoho~~~ ok i'm crazily in love now.. hohoho~! single sidedly i guess.. no matter wat stil single ma.. haha~! not reali available thou.. onli to that special someone =) i didnt know i mean somethin to him.. i didnt know each small action of mine might post a msg to him.. i reali didnt know.. but now i know.. he's reali cute.. haha~ *secret* he wanted to ask me go walk walk to have sometime "alone" but shy.. hohoho~ cute~! but he say i didnt wanna talk to him.. but i didnt.. hurhur~ how i wish can juz talk to him man.. walao~ damn sian~! i wanna bang wall man~! i also shy ma.. HELLO i'm a girl~ i reali dunno how to take initiative in such manner.. @_@ haha~! okok al i know is i'm juz reali leadin a happy life now.. maybe abit of prob with VIP but i hope things wil turn out fine soon.. wahaha luv u luv me luv everybody now *muacksss* wahaha~~~ (ok i not enough zZzZ le~madness attack~!!) X)
BEFORE I FALL IN LOVE***
this morning wake up thn my nick was "in dreamland with u.." OMG thn suay suay he online thn saw.. argh!!! >.< shy but sweet thou.. heex~ cos he disturb me.. lol~ nabeissss~!!! nvm had a happy morning with him involve.. lol~! today went to esplanade.. was rather pissed with the VIP thingy la.. haix disappointed thou.. i had a bad tummy today.. keep wanting to vomit.. argh~! lucky didnt.. i cant reali dance today too.. damn sick.. sian.. and i dun tink i wanna join dance works anymore.. cos i reali cant work with T.. she's toooooo ego-istic~!! my god~! after wat i heard from ash, i'm like WTH la~! cant believe it.. and the dance style reali is not my type and not wat i wan.. so i guess i'll not join ba but stil have to wait for emi to come back discuss with her ba.. today i keep havin the song "before i fall in love" in my mind.. argh~! it's reali reali wat i am thinkin now.. i reali did felt somethin there between us but stil not yet there.. but can trust the way i feel? cos' my heart's been fooled before.. or am i just seeing wat i wan to see or is it true?? -this sentence is like a BIG hammer DANGG onto my head~ @_@ i mean reali reali true.. is this the truth?? or juz tat i'm thinkin too much? maybe he dun even liked me.. it might be juz a gd feelin tat's all.. i'm soooo afraid of getting burned but i wanna take a chance.. but how?! i reali wan someone to belong to me and for me to be belonged to.. someone who'll stay around thru al my ups and downs.. cos it's been reali hard for me to juz give my heart away but i'll give my everythin just to hear u say u do.. haiss~! love this song so much~!
this morning wake up thn my nick was "in dreamland with u.." OMG thn suay suay he online thn saw.. argh!!! >.< shy but sweet thou.. heex~ cos he disturb me.. lol~ nabeissss~!!! nvm had a happy morning with him involve.. lol~! today went to esplanade.. was rather pissed with the VIP thingy la.. haix disappointed thou.. i had a bad tummy today.. keep wanting to vomit.. argh~! lucky didnt.. i cant reali dance today too.. damn sick.. sian.. and i dun tink i wanna join dance works anymore.. cos i reali cant work with T.. she's toooooo ego-istic~!! my god~! after wat i heard from ash, i'm like WTH la~! cant believe it.. and the dance style reali is not my type and not wat i wan.. so i guess i'll not join ba but stil have to wait for emi to come back discuss with her ba.. today i keep havin the song "before i fall in love" in my mind.. argh~! it's reali reali wat i am thinkin now.. i reali did felt somethin there between us but stil not yet there.. but can trust the way i feel? cos' my heart's been fooled before.. or am i just seeing wat i wan to see or is it true?? -this sentence is like a BIG hammer DANGG onto my head~ @_@ i mean reali reali true.. is this the truth?? or juz tat i'm thinkin too much? maybe he dun even liked me.. it might be juz a gd feelin tat's all.. i'm soooo afraid of getting burned but i wanna take a chance.. but how?! i reali wan someone to belong to me and for me to be belonged to.. someone who'll stay around thru al my ups and downs.. cos it's been reali hard for me to juz give my heart away but i'll give my everythin just to hear u say u do.. haiss~! love this song so much~!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
VIP.. Not as VI anymore..
disappointed.. this is the only thing i have to say today.. was supposed to have dance practise with VIP.. but wat happen in the end was everyone's not goin.. i mean most of them.. and wat reason they give? -very few ppl go -wanna go shoppin -very sian -very tired.. ya rite.. so i'm not la.. so wat? VIP no longer VI? no longer as important as before? when there's event everyone gets stress and start to worried.. now there's just nice enough time to prac, everyone slack.. wat is this??! i reali dun understand.. tink i reali like to work with new ppl? i DUN OK~! and look at our leader.. did he even ask bout how's our progress? our vice, during meetin, joke joke n joke is al he know.. some of the rest.. never gets to sit down n talk properly.. no wonder VIP's progression is forever so slow.. maybe i'm havin pms now so tend to be more easily-angered but i stil tink this is the fact lo.. i'm sick, having fever n tummy reaction but i stil insist on goin.. i guess i say so much also no use la.. who'll listen? i'm not the leader i'm juz a event co in VIP wat.. small fry i am.. why should i get so agitated.. juz make sure my job is done by gettin events tat's al.. ha~ kinda stupid anyway~ waste my brain cells on this.. maybe i should be like them.. juz hack care everythin.. lead as happily as i wan...
disappointed.. this is the only thing i have to say today.. was supposed to have dance practise with VIP.. but wat happen in the end was everyone's not goin.. i mean most of them.. and wat reason they give? -very few ppl go -wanna go shoppin -very sian -very tired.. ya rite.. so i'm not la.. so wat? VIP no longer VI? no longer as important as before? when there's event everyone gets stress and start to worried.. now there's just nice enough time to prac, everyone slack.. wat is this??! i reali dun understand.. tink i reali like to work with new ppl? i DUN OK~! and look at our leader.. did he even ask bout how's our progress? our vice, during meetin, joke joke n joke is al he know.. some of the rest.. never gets to sit down n talk properly.. no wonder VIP's progression is forever so slow.. maybe i'm havin pms now so tend to be more easily-angered but i stil tink this is the fact lo.. i'm sick, having fever n tummy reaction but i stil insist on goin.. i guess i say so much also no use la.. who'll listen? i'm not the leader i'm juz a event co in VIP wat.. small fry i am.. why should i get so agitated.. juz make sure my job is done by gettin events tat's al.. ha~ kinda stupid anyway~ waste my brain cells on this.. maybe i should be like them.. juz hack care everythin.. lead as happily as i wan...
HAIXXX~
today slack whole day at yishun only.. was at home til ard 5.45 thn si came.. we slack at my house til 7pm thn go mac meetin huiting n mikal.. chat reali alot today.. felt good.. it's like a BIG load being poured to ppl.. haha.. after chatting with si.. i felt so much better.. she n binggie both tell me to follow wat my heart thinks is rite.. well i guess so.. but i reali am very unsure of this.. i dun even know wat i am doin.. i've been in the LOST world ever since that G left me.. i felt reali gd that there's someone who cares for me but y does it involve anyone else? i cant lose that someone.. in fact i dun wanna lose anyone or anythin in this.. both love n frens are equally important to me.. haiss~ been sighin alot recently.. which is very not me.. =( and had been litening to saddy songs again~ dun wanna emo anymore.. wat should i do? love or not to love? my heart dun tell me anythin now.. it's silent not even with a heartbeat~ i felt so dead now.. is it the after impact of G's case? i hope not.. i terribly need someone to reali lead me out of this LOST world now.. who wil it be? when wil he appear? truly get me outta here.. like i said i'm very happy he appeared.. cos he give me the feelin which i didnt felt for a longggggggggggg time.. like wat binggie said.. the special feelin.. but i reali am afraid of alot of things.. when was chattin with jun, she say NO i shouldnt go for this i should have a clean cut off.. thn now how now wat? i can only say my heart's shaken.. not fallin but slightly shaken.. binggie had been thru this situation she'll understand but jun is mature enough.. who should i listen to? i've nv felt so afraid b4.. so damn afraid to fall.. when shir disturbed me bout him i felt sucky again.. it's not i dun like or wat but it's juz tat cos she's involve.. and i reali dun wanna hurt her.. i know how she feels cos i've been thru it.. not once not twice but lotsa time.. i dun wan my happiness to be build on others' sadness.. ppl always say "love is selfish.." but guess i'm stil not selfish enough.. i stil cant put myself first in such things.. and F*** i'm missin him again~ i dun wan to but wat can i do?! ARGH~! i wanna die~ let me die ba..............
today slack whole day at yishun only.. was at home til ard 5.45 thn si came.. we slack at my house til 7pm thn go mac meetin huiting n mikal.. chat reali alot today.. felt good.. it's like a BIG load being poured to ppl.. haha.. after chatting with si.. i felt so much better.. she n binggie both tell me to follow wat my heart thinks is rite.. well i guess so.. but i reali am very unsure of this.. i dun even know wat i am doin.. i've been in the LOST world ever since that G left me.. i felt reali gd that there's someone who cares for me but y does it involve anyone else? i cant lose that someone.. in fact i dun wanna lose anyone or anythin in this.. both love n frens are equally important to me.. haiss~ been sighin alot recently.. which is very not me.. =( and had been litening to saddy songs again~ dun wanna emo anymore.. wat should i do? love or not to love? my heart dun tell me anythin now.. it's silent not even with a heartbeat~ i felt so dead now.. is it the after impact of G's case? i hope not.. i terribly need someone to reali lead me out of this LOST world now.. who wil it be? when wil he appear? truly get me outta here.. like i said i'm very happy he appeared.. cos he give me the feelin which i didnt felt for a longggggggggggg time.. like wat binggie said.. the special feelin.. but i reali am afraid of alot of things.. when was chattin with jun, she say NO i shouldnt go for this i should have a clean cut off.. thn now how now wat? i can only say my heart's shaken.. not fallin but slightly shaken.. binggie had been thru this situation she'll understand but jun is mature enough.. who should i listen to? i've nv felt so afraid b4.. so damn afraid to fall.. when shir disturbed me bout him i felt sucky again.. it's not i dun like or wat but it's juz tat cos she's involve.. and i reali dun wanna hurt her.. i know how she feels cos i've been thru it.. not once not twice but lotsa time.. i dun wan my happiness to be build on others' sadness.. ppl always say "love is selfish.." but guess i'm stil not selfish enough.. i stil cant put myself first in such things.. and F*** i'm missin him again~ i dun wan to but wat can i do?! ARGH~! i wanna die~ let me die ba..............
Friday, December 09, 2005
LOVE~ OH NO NO NO~~~~
haix i reali reali dunno wat the hell am i doin now.. or maybe there's nothin wrong with me.. but i juz feel damn bad today.. cos S know that J ahem me.. haix but wat can i do?? i reali cant control such stuff and feelings cant be controlled rite.. but i reali hope it doesnt affect our frenship or even affect anythin in my life.. for now.. all i know is i dun like him but i dun deny havin gd feelings.. well like i've said i fall in love very easily.. i'm a lousy "driver" ok.. always kana crush~ i cant say i like him as time haven prove anythin yet.. and there's stil sooooooo much more to know and to settle b4 i like anyone again.. i juz feel F*** up why the hell is such things happening AGAIN~?! no one is to blame but maybe i've miss out some parts of the previous lesson that i had with another J and god wants me too learn it.. hmmm i reali dunno wat to do also.. there's stil ANOTHER J in my life now tat's makin me big head~ tat's a diff story now.. but i reali dunno how to deal with it.. >.< i felt controlled.. worst thn any of my ex.. hais.. now my life's reali lost.. when wil i find it? wil this lead to my happiness? or wil be juz another glass bottle with a message of lesson to be learn? i reali dunno.. but i tend to miss him at nite.. haix~
haix i reali reali dunno wat the hell am i doin now.. or maybe there's nothin wrong with me.. but i juz feel damn bad today.. cos S know that J ahem me.. haix but wat can i do?? i reali cant control such stuff and feelings cant be controlled rite.. but i reali hope it doesnt affect our frenship or even affect anythin in my life.. for now.. all i know is i dun like him but i dun deny havin gd feelings.. well like i've said i fall in love very easily.. i'm a lousy "driver" ok.. always kana crush~ i cant say i like him as time haven prove anythin yet.. and there's stil sooooooo much more to know and to settle b4 i like anyone again.. i juz feel F*** up why the hell is such things happening AGAIN~?! no one is to blame but maybe i've miss out some parts of the previous lesson that i had with another J and god wants me too learn it.. hmmm i reali dunno wat to do also.. there's stil ANOTHER J in my life now tat's makin me big head~ tat's a diff story now.. but i reali dunno how to deal with it.. >.< i felt controlled.. worst thn any of my ex.. hais.. now my life's reali lost.. when wil i find it? wil this lead to my happiness? or wil be juz another glass bottle with a message of lesson to be learn? i reali dunno.. but i tend to miss him at nite.. haix~
Thursday, December 08, 2005
HAPPINESS~
was chatting with binggie few minutes ago.. hmmm she told me that ter is treating her better now.. when i heard tat, i felt sooooo happy for her~ come to tink of it.. clover, binggie n sisi has both gotten their happiness from the guy whom they reali love.. could reali see how happy they are =) now left with sharon and poor me.. lol~ sharon had always been waiting for tat particular guy.. but sadly no result.. haix.. for me, i had always been involve in very very wrong relastionship.. wat's worst is, i know he's not the one for me but i juz love him blindly.. how stupid n blinded can i be?! but at least i've learnt.. learn to be open to everythin.. wat's most important is i'm happy~ now i choose not to love blindly but to love someone who loves me.. in the past, most of u should noe my mentallity is "as long as i love u i'm ok if u dun love me as much.." but now no longer tat way.. i guess i have to be more selfish n love myself more.. so my bf have to love me more thn i love him.. haha~ well it'll be best if i love him as much as he loves me la but that seldom happen i guess.. it's always one side more.. i had always been in the position of the one giving in more.. now it's time for me to be receiving.. but i wont be sooo selfish til keep receiving but not giving la.. i wan a fair love a clean fair love.. nothin else.. i'm stil waiting for pure love which is very very rare.. maybe most ppl laugh at puppy love.. but tink.. puppy love is soooooo pure~! isn't tat a perfect one? hmm to me, as long as he loves me and i loe him.. everythin else doesn't matter as much.. i was telling binggie.. if i ever get my next bf and if he's gonna be the one i wanna marry to, i'm gonna scold him~ lol~! why? cos he made me wait sooooo long and made me got hurt by sooo many other wrong guys~!!! lol~! poor bf of mine.. heehee~! but of cos i'll love him like nobody's business la~ soooo hard thn find him lei.. haha~! prince charming ar prince charming~ please appear soon okok~! i'm getting impatient~~~~~ >.<
was chatting with binggie few minutes ago.. hmmm she told me that ter is treating her better now.. when i heard tat, i felt sooooo happy for her~ come to tink of it.. clover, binggie n sisi has both gotten their happiness from the guy whom they reali love.. could reali see how happy they are =) now left with sharon and poor me.. lol~ sharon had always been waiting for tat particular guy.. but sadly no result.. haix.. for me, i had always been involve in very very wrong relastionship.. wat's worst is, i know he's not the one for me but i juz love him blindly.. how stupid n blinded can i be?! but at least i've learnt.. learn to be open to everythin.. wat's most important is i'm happy~ now i choose not to love blindly but to love someone who loves me.. in the past, most of u should noe my mentallity is "as long as i love u i'm ok if u dun love me as much.." but now no longer tat way.. i guess i have to be more selfish n love myself more.. so my bf have to love me more thn i love him.. haha~ well it'll be best if i love him as much as he loves me la but that seldom happen i guess.. it's always one side more.. i had always been in the position of the one giving in more.. now it's time for me to be receiving.. but i wont be sooo selfish til keep receiving but not giving la.. i wan a fair love a clean fair love.. nothin else.. i'm stil waiting for pure love which is very very rare.. maybe most ppl laugh at puppy love.. but tink.. puppy love is soooooo pure~! isn't tat a perfect one? hmm to me, as long as he loves me and i loe him.. everythin else doesn't matter as much.. i was telling binggie.. if i ever get my next bf and if he's gonna be the one i wanna marry to, i'm gonna scold him~ lol~! why? cos he made me wait sooooo long and made me got hurt by sooo many other wrong guys~!!! lol~! poor bf of mine.. heehee~! but of cos i'll love him like nobody's business la~ soooo hard thn find him lei.. haha~! prince charming ar prince charming~ please appear soon okok~! i'm getting impatient~~~~~ >.<
Love Life~
juz feel like blogging~ hmmm i dunno why i feel sooooo funny today.. it's like very not me.. but in a gd way la~ i realise alot of "secrets" today~ haha~! i feel tat my life is like so full now~ am rather happy with it~! maybe this is the life i should lead.. but am stil lacking of something~ i dunno wat it is.. juz feel very aimless.. i am juz moving on aimlessly.. hmmm maybe cos i very long never so single in my life le ba~ felt quite empty thou~ stil lookin for my "mr. right" heehee~ my horoscope book say i'll find him this month.. hopefully ba~ haha.. i reali wan him to appear real soon..! but nonono~! cannot rush~!!!! later end up like me n jason thn jialat.. wah come to tink of it my love life is rather a up and down one.. i've learn reali alot.. learn to be more independent, not to hold on to anythin too tightly, not to be too possesive, not to put in my 100percent in any relationship(99percent can liao haha~!).. reali a tough lesson learnt~! but worth it la~ lol~! wanna learn more.. haha~! i dun mean i wanna get involve in wrong relationship again.. but wat i mean is i juz wanna take every prob that happens to me as a lesson learn.. but one more thing i stil have to learn.. ~resistance~ haha~! i fall in love too easily le lar~! >.< stil have to learn.. haha~! anyway am happy with wat i am now haha~! i'm lke a puzzle with one last missing piece.. yet to be found.. =)
juz feel like blogging~ hmmm i dunno why i feel sooooo funny today.. it's like very not me.. but in a gd way la~ i realise alot of "secrets" today~ haha~! i feel tat my life is like so full now~ am rather happy with it~! maybe this is the life i should lead.. but am stil lacking of something~ i dunno wat it is.. juz feel very aimless.. i am juz moving on aimlessly.. hmmm maybe cos i very long never so single in my life le ba~ felt quite empty thou~ stil lookin for my "mr. right" heehee~ my horoscope book say i'll find him this month.. hopefully ba~ haha.. i reali wan him to appear real soon..! but nonono~! cannot rush~!!!! later end up like me n jason thn jialat.. wah come to tink of it my love life is rather a up and down one.. i've learn reali alot.. learn to be more independent, not to hold on to anythin too tightly, not to be too possesive, not to put in my 100percent in any relationship(99percent can liao haha~!).. reali a tough lesson learnt~! but worth it la~ lol~! wanna learn more.. haha~! i dun mean i wanna get involve in wrong relationship again.. but wat i mean is i juz wanna take every prob that happens to me as a lesson learn.. but one more thing i stil have to learn.. ~resistance~ haha~! i fall in love too easily le lar~! >.< stil have to learn.. haha~! anyway am happy with wat i am now haha~! i'm lke a puzzle with one last missing piece.. yet to be found.. =)
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
K.O...
today super duper tired~! ZzZZz for ard 2-3hours nia~! >.< cos yesterday was chatting on phone with Mr Banana - Jonathan.. lol~! we chat til 4am.. my god~! i swear if next time must wake up early i'll never ZzZz late again~ (ok i'm kiddin~) today work with wei qiang & chermaine at sembcorp.. damn sian aain as usual~~ thn we went back to office at 2pm to tia hp~! hurhur~! nitemare~!!! 4000 pieces sia~!! lucky got 6ppl do - gary, alvin, me, chermaine, suling and one girl.. we finish by ard 4-5pm lol~! thn we ate dinner (MAC~! company pay lol~!) quite fun to eat with them haha~! dex very funny today joke alot.. lol! got auntie interested in him sia~! haha! thn suling tell us thn they keep suan-ing him.. haha~! thn i left office at 8pm.. (o.O) damn tired.. ZzZZz in train and i miss my station~! argh~! have to take backwards.. -_- damn sian~ reach home thn watch tv thn bathe thn update blog le.. boring life.. but tink i'm sick.. got fever i guess.. feel very weak n tired.. argh~! oya~ i got my pay~!! yea~!! $247 lol~! damn happy.. never expect it to be so soon.. haha~! thn i owe so many ppl meals.. damn sian.. binggie la sisi la banana la~ whoelse man~! wait for next pay ba.. lol~! tired tired tired~! tink tonight wil KO very very early.. today bb very emo dunno why also.. but makes me bek cek also lo it's like i keep askin him wat happen he dun wanna say.. thn nvm lo forget it.. hmm tml no work.. shiok can ZzZzZZZz.. haha~ at nite thn go dance.. lalala~ warao~! tat banana noe i "lang ga" on pinky liao sia~! *&%*%*$%(^&!! damn sian~!!! but aiya i lang ga is lang ga la.. no hope one cos i dun care lol~! got got la dun have dun have la.. not as if i reali LOVEEEEEEEE him.. haha~! little boy somemore~
today super duper tired~! ZzZZz for ard 2-3hours nia~! >.< cos yesterday was chatting on phone with Mr Banana - Jonathan.. lol~! we chat til 4am.. my god~! i swear if next time must wake up early i'll never ZzZz late again~ (ok i'm kiddin~) today work with wei qiang & chermaine at sembcorp.. damn sian aain as usual~~ thn we went back to office at 2pm to tia hp~! hurhur~! nitemare~!!! 4000 pieces sia~!! lucky got 6ppl do - gary, alvin, me, chermaine, suling and one girl.. we finish by ard 4-5pm lol~! thn we ate dinner (MAC~! company pay lol~!) quite fun to eat with them haha~! dex very funny today joke alot.. lol! got auntie interested in him sia~! haha! thn suling tell us thn they keep suan-ing him.. haha~! thn i left office at 8pm.. (o.O) damn tired.. ZzZZz in train and i miss my station~! argh~! have to take backwards.. -_- damn sian~ reach home thn watch tv thn bathe thn update blog le.. boring life.. but tink i'm sick.. got fever i guess.. feel very weak n tired.. argh~! oya~ i got my pay~!! yea~!! $247 lol~! damn happy.. never expect it to be so soon.. haha~! thn i owe so many ppl meals.. damn sian.. binggie la sisi la banana la~ whoelse man~! wait for next pay ba.. lol~! tired tired tired~! tink tonight wil KO very very early.. today bb very emo dunno why also.. but makes me bek cek also lo it's like i keep askin him wat happen he dun wanna say.. thn nvm lo forget it.. hmm tml no work.. shiok can ZzZzZZZz.. haha~ at nite thn go dance.. lalala~ warao~! tat banana noe i "lang ga" on pinky liao sia~! *&%*%*$%(^&!! damn sian~!!! but aiya i lang ga is lang ga la.. no hope one cos i dun care lol~! got got la dun have dun have la.. not as if i reali LOVEEEEEEEE him.. haha~! little boy somemore~
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
WORK~
today never go anywhere except to work.. saw G at office.. damn sian lucky not same roadshow~! wahaha~! OYA~! i wanna say this~! anyone who read my blog is all ur choice ok.. this is my life my idea my thinking.. i write wat i feel.. so i dun care i offend anyone ornt.. so think twice b4 u read anythin from here ok.. u may feel sad or angry after watever i write but dun care.. cos this is juz my thinkin.. today work with jeffrey n wei qiang.. quite sian la.. as usual lo slack here slack there.. thn jeff told me his gf read my blog and felt sad/angry over wat he told me bout the marriage=xi guan.. warao~ pls la i've said it's MY FEELIN.. not he said.. but felt rather bad la.. ok if jeff's gf happens to read this "sorry ok.. i'm rather bad at expressing my words.." well cant blame her.. if is me i also wil angry.. maybe even worst i might bomb spore down.. lol~! marriage lei.. big thing in life especially for a girl.. hmm so i must reali think VERY carefully b4 i get myself a bf.. lol~! maybe ppl say i'm childish la.. but well.. i'm onli 18.. HELLO~ how mature can i be.. i dun wanna act mature as well lo.. it's like why act so old when u r actually stil so young.. young can enjoy life.. why not?? saw stanley today also haha~! he work very near me onli sia~ yea got ppl go home tgt le.. =) he suddenly very motivated to form band sia~! lol~! see him lidat i also happy la.. my frens with dreams n workin on it =) hmm walao miss my pinky brownie~~~ >.<>.< tml no dance.. if no work tink i'll rot at home ba.. lol~! today dl alot of songs wahaha~! happy~!!! W-inds, LEAD Kyohei~!!! *MUACKSSSSS*
today never go anywhere except to work.. saw G at office.. damn sian lucky not same roadshow~! wahaha~! OYA~! i wanna say this~! anyone who read my blog is all ur choice ok.. this is my life my idea my thinking.. i write wat i feel.. so i dun care i offend anyone ornt.. so think twice b4 u read anythin from here ok.. u may feel sad or angry after watever i write but dun care.. cos this is juz my thinkin.. today work with jeffrey n wei qiang.. quite sian la.. as usual lo slack here slack there.. thn jeff told me his gf read my blog and felt sad/angry over wat he told me bout the marriage=xi guan.. warao~ pls la i've said it's MY FEELIN.. not he said.. but felt rather bad la.. ok if jeff's gf happens to read this "sorry ok.. i'm rather bad at expressing my words.." well cant blame her.. if is me i also wil angry.. maybe even worst i might bomb spore down.. lol~! marriage lei.. big thing in life especially for a girl.. hmm so i must reali think VERY carefully b4 i get myself a bf.. lol~! maybe ppl say i'm childish la.. but well.. i'm onli 18.. HELLO~ how mature can i be.. i dun wanna act mature as well lo.. it's like why act so old when u r actually stil so young.. young can enjoy life.. why not?? saw stanley today also haha~! he work very near me onli sia~ yea got ppl go home tgt le.. =) he suddenly very motivated to form band sia~! lol~! see him lidat i also happy la.. my frens with dreams n workin on it =) hmm walao miss my pinky brownie~~~ >.<>.< tml no dance.. if no work tink i'll rot at home ba.. lol~! today dl alot of songs wahaha~! happy~!!! W-inds, LEAD Kyohei~!!! *MUACKSSSSS*
SUPERSTAR~ hahaha~~~
Sunday, December 04, 2005
BIG DAY AT SOKA**
today damn shag.. walao i ZzZz for onli 1 hour thn have to wakey and go meet the rest at tampines to go to soka le.. >.< i'm like half dead la.. haha~! we bought mac breakfast to soka and eat.. well gonna be a longggg day~ so muz eat breakfast~! haha~! HOTCAKES~! my fave~! =^,^= when we reach, we're inform that we have to gather at the main hall for a briefing.. warao thn we rush our food like crazy.... but stil slack-ish la.. haha~! it's the VIP style man~! =p
Rehearsals**
we had 3 rehearsals altogether.. 1dry run n 2 full run.. we thot this event wont be very happening so we juz treat it like a normal performance lo.. so nothin special~ when we do our 1st full run we just roughly danced.. thn we reeealised that our Miss Sexy Shirley tryin to be sexy again - she forgot to zip her pants~! lol~! lucky no one sees.. haha~! after our 1st full run, we had our lunch at 1pm (food provided by soka~quality gd,quantity too much!!!) lol~! when we were eatin, a guy came and say "after u al are done can go gathera t the holdin room?" this is the sentence that i've been hearin for the WHOLE day~ fro the same guy~ -_-''' haha~! we thn had our 2nd full run.. everythin as usual.. sound checks, positioning, lightings.. blah blah blah~
Preparation**
after our rehearsals.. we went to the holdin room to make-up and dress up.. as usual, jun did my hair for me.. she never let me down~! haha~! i LOVEEEEEEEE my hairstyle to especially~!!! wahaha~! we took lotsa lotsa photos while waiting for our turn.. haha~! well.. girls.. =)
1st show - 4pm**
we take this rather lightly as in we dun reali practise b4 this show.. haha~! cos we thot it wont be very happening ma.. but indeed the 1st show wasn't that fun.. it's afternoon afterall.. i've said.. i'm a night dancer.. so i'm onli active at nite~! haha~! the setting was normal.. juz a stage with ordinary audience who's rather "dead" -_-.. damn sian.. but we did well la.. haha~! not much mistakes thou..
Break**
we thn had our dinner after the 1st show.. haha~! food again~!! we waited for our 2nd show while we eat n chat.. erika keep coughing cos the air-con reali dries up our throat.. couldn't even breathe properly.. >.< thn the same guy came AGAIN.. sayin those same things.. blah blah blah~ haha~!
2nd show - 7pm**
now this is the climax~! when we were about to go up to the backstage, we walk pass this room where i saw this BIG screen, screening the LIVE of the concert~!!!!!! that moment my brain reali freezes~! OMG la~! everyone's watchin u~!!! thn when i was backstage, i forgot my steps the sec b4 we were suppose to go onstage..! luckily the music refreshed my memory~! haha~! when at backstage waiting, i keep lookin into the mirror and tellin myself that i can do it~! i am w-inds~!! lol~! the onli way to keep myself relax is to crap~ haha~! the worst part is when i 1st see the stage.. reali almost fainted~! cos there's a big screen too on the stage~!!! which means one wrong movement, u r dead~!! >.< lagi stress sia~!! i keep forgetting steps n position~! but reali reali high~! cos we improvise abit n make it a BIG BANG~! haha hope it work.. felt that somehow it did work la.. cos the comments we get is reali great~!! the feelin is "I'M A SUPERSTAR~!!" reali reali reali shiok~!!! the feelin of havin ppl cheer for u having such a big stage with these equipments n lightings.. best is it's nite time~!! woah~! i felt like bomb exploded within me sia~! i never performed like this b4.. as in reali LET GO of myself n juz enjoy~! but it's hard.. cos when u're too into the fellin, u'll tend to forget ur steps.. but when u're tryin to remember ur steps, u'll look very dead.. so i'm tryin to be inbetween haha~!
After show**
we got alot of comments.. none of them were negative.. for that moment i feel reali great.. but i know there's alot of errors la.. haha~! it's just not obvious.. when we look at the video which ash took for us, we're like HUH!!!!! is this us?! cos we're very very synchronised~!! OMG~! darn happy~!!!! our very very FIRST performance as VIP~! witness by 1669 audience~! not a small amt~! the best part is emi's fren told her that when we were performin, the ppl who were at the holdin room at stood up and cheered while watchin our LIVE on the screen!! haha~! OMG~! superstar i am~! lol~! i wanna go back there man~! i love it~!
Utterly grateful**
i'm reali thankful to god for this day~! for everythin~! for VIP for this chance to perform for my frens who came - dharni, gary, bry, dion, teri, samantha, kelly, eugene.. for my frens who cant make it but aupported us mentally~! i thank god for makin our performance so smooth and appreciated.. i'm reali reali happy today~! i've lost my mind~! haha~! now i pray for more this kinda expreience to come~ it reali motivates me to move further and higher~! *MUACKSSSSSS* VIP ROCKS~!!!!
today damn shag.. walao i ZzZz for onli 1 hour thn have to wakey and go meet the rest at tampines to go to soka le.. >.< i'm like half dead la.. haha~! we bought mac breakfast to soka and eat.. well gonna be a longggg day~ so muz eat breakfast~! haha~! HOTCAKES~! my fave~! =^,^= when we reach, we're inform that we have to gather at the main hall for a briefing.. warao thn we rush our food like crazy.... but stil slack-ish la.. haha~! it's the VIP style man~! =p
Rehearsals**
we had 3 rehearsals altogether.. 1dry run n 2 full run.. we thot this event wont be very happening so we juz treat it like a normal performance lo.. so nothin special~ when we do our 1st full run we just roughly danced.. thn we reeealised that our Miss Sexy Shirley tryin to be sexy again - she forgot to zip her pants~! lol~! lucky no one sees.. haha~! after our 1st full run, we had our lunch at 1pm (food provided by soka~quality gd,quantity too much!!!) lol~! when we were eatin, a guy came and say "after u al are done can go gathera t the holdin room?" this is the sentence that i've been hearin for the WHOLE day~ fro the same guy~ -_-''' haha~! we thn had our 2nd full run.. everythin as usual.. sound checks, positioning, lightings.. blah blah blah~
Preparation**
after our rehearsals.. we went to the holdin room to make-up and dress up.. as usual, jun did my hair for me.. she never let me down~! haha~! i LOVEEEEEEEE my hairstyle to especially~!!! wahaha~! we took lotsa lotsa photos while waiting for our turn.. haha~! well.. girls.. =)
1st show - 4pm**
we take this rather lightly as in we dun reali practise b4 this show.. haha~! cos we thot it wont be very happening ma.. but indeed the 1st show wasn't that fun.. it's afternoon afterall.. i've said.. i'm a night dancer.. so i'm onli active at nite~! haha~! the setting was normal.. juz a stage with ordinary audience who's rather "dead" -_-.. damn sian.. but we did well la.. haha~! not much mistakes thou..
Break**
we thn had our dinner after the 1st show.. haha~! food again~!! we waited for our 2nd show while we eat n chat.. erika keep coughing cos the air-con reali dries up our throat.. couldn't even breathe properly.. >.< thn the same guy came AGAIN.. sayin those same things.. blah blah blah~ haha~!
2nd show - 7pm**
now this is the climax~! when we were about to go up to the backstage, we walk pass this room where i saw this BIG screen, screening the LIVE of the concert~!!!!!! that moment my brain reali freezes~! OMG la~! everyone's watchin u~!!! thn when i was backstage, i forgot my steps the sec b4 we were suppose to go onstage..! luckily the music refreshed my memory~! haha~! when at backstage waiting, i keep lookin into the mirror and tellin myself that i can do it~! i am w-inds~!! lol~! the onli way to keep myself relax is to crap~ haha~! the worst part is when i 1st see the stage.. reali almost fainted~! cos there's a big screen too on the stage~!!! which means one wrong movement, u r dead~!! >.< lagi stress sia~!! i keep forgetting steps n position~! but reali reali high~! cos we improvise abit n make it a BIG BANG~! haha hope it work.. felt that somehow it did work la.. cos the comments we get is reali great~!! the feelin is "I'M A SUPERSTAR~!!" reali reali reali shiok~!!! the feelin of havin ppl cheer for u having such a big stage with these equipments n lightings.. best is it's nite time~!! woah~! i felt like bomb exploded within me sia~! i never performed like this b4.. as in reali LET GO of myself n juz enjoy~! but it's hard.. cos when u're too into the fellin, u'll tend to forget ur steps.. but when u're tryin to remember ur steps, u'll look very dead.. so i'm tryin to be inbetween haha~!
After show**
we got alot of comments.. none of them were negative.. for that moment i feel reali great.. but i know there's alot of errors la.. haha~! it's just not obvious.. when we look at the video which ash took for us, we're like HUH!!!!! is this us?! cos we're very very synchronised~!! OMG~! darn happy~!!!! our very very FIRST performance as VIP~! witness by 1669 audience~! not a small amt~! the best part is emi's fren told her that when we were performin, the ppl who were at the holdin room at stood up and cheered while watchin our LIVE on the screen!! haha~! OMG~! superstar i am~! lol~! i wanna go back there man~! i love it~!
Utterly grateful**
i'm reali thankful to god for this day~! for everythin~! for VIP for this chance to perform for my frens who came - dharni, gary, bry, dion, teri, samantha, kelly, eugene.. for my frens who cant make it but aupported us mentally~! i thank god for makin our performance so smooth and appreciated.. i'm reali reali happy today~! i've lost my mind~! haha~! now i pray for more this kinda expreience to come~ it reali motivates me to move further and higher~! *MUACKSSSSSS* VIP ROCKS~!!!!
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