ok with regards to the previous post.. just treat that u didnt see it ok =.= why? because i left the company zzz~ but still i love everyone there :( anyway.. just here to update few stuffs had just finish working with axioo for sitex show XD quite a fun experience thou ^^

the crazy crowd at tanah merah station BEFORE the fair starts =\

sitex lasted 4 days and i was involve for the last 3 days.. it's definitely more fun thn the times when i was with suzuki and of cos i brought home alot alot of lessons as a sales person from al the seniors over there ^^ made a few frens like ziying, chariot, steph and few nameless acquaintance XD nothing much to update bout my boring life so just few random stuffs here..

wat a magnificent scene i caught on on cam at home XD the moving rain

next is my bf who's trying damn hard to act cute =x

hehe and here's him sleeping real soundly with my tiger XD

lastly, christmas is coming REAL SOON! and this is the BEST christmas tree i've seen! it's at bugis junction and proudly presented by Lee Hwa Jewellery.. they are having this very very nice bracelet for this season as well but i cant find the picture of it.. so too bad =\

and what do i want for christmas?
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TADAH!!
just give me a Suzuki Swift Sport!! =X

ok i tink i'm just too bored =\ what i want for christmas is many many laughters form everyone i know ^^ ok will update again XD

hello people~ i've been soooooooooo busy! why? cos i've finally got a JOB!! XD i'm currently working as a full time sales associate in Flesh Imp! woolala~ one of my fave brands hohoho~ am sure Flesh imp isnt a new brand to many of you out there ya? anyway DO visit me at Flesh imp located at 4th level at the Heerens hehe =x buy more and i'll give good discounts ok? =x but anyway.. here's a event i'd like to invite ALL OF YOU down! it's Flesh Imp's 8th anniversary bash at zouk! entry via invites ONLY so do let me know if you wanna go!

What : Flesh Imp's 8th birthday bash
Where : Zouk
When : 5th December 08
**Freeflow of tiger beers and lotsa happening programmes installed for you**

call, text, msn, tag me for the invites **loves**

Goodbye my baby boi

my baby have passed away on 12 nov 2008.. his internal organs were damaged due to unknown reason and the vet suggested that it's best to put him to sleep.. it's a decision i never ever thot i would make in my entire life.. i wanted to do everything i can to save him.. putting him on drip is one way we can do.. but the doc said that it's useless cos even if he recovered, it'll happen again.. his limbs were so weak that they look as if they were dislocated.. he slimmed down incredibly fast that no one can ever imagined.. boiboi did not disappoint me.. even thou he's sufferin, he tried his best to hang his head high to act as if he's alrite.. he use his last bit of strength to push himself up to show us that he is ok.. but just by the looks of his weak body, who the hell wouldnt know that he's suffering? it hurt me so deep that i have to make the decision to put him to sleep.. it really does.. i couldnt make the decision but gor made it for me.. i tried to hold back my tears but i failed.. i look at him for the last time and stepped out of the clinic.. i couldnt imagine the process but i know it'll be a peaceful one.. maybe it'll be a good choice afterall.. to let him go.. it's been a wonderful 1 yr and 3 month since i had him with me.. thank you boiboi for all the joy you've given this family.. i'll never forget the way he always jumped up at the sight of us.. i'll never forget him always climbing so high up just by hearing our footsteps.. i wont forget the days when we always head to sembawang and he'll just go hopping ard curious as always.. i'll never forget the day he almost died when he tried to leap out of my bag while we were on the road.. he had always been a cheerful and bubbly boi in my eyes and will always be.. boiboi.. may you rest in peace and may you be freed from all sufferings..

i love you

may god watches over you
always my baby

i finally know the truth.. i've always been toyed by you.. hahaha~ how dumb.. but it's ok since it's over.. i'm totally disappointed in him.. just as i thot that he's a mature and care for family guy.. bullshit.. dun come tell me u have to leave me cos u dun wanna be unfair to me.. BULLSHIT~ a 27 yr old man behaving like some 20 yr old hongster.. HAHAHA wat a joke.. u're a failure.. ultimate failure.. i know i shouldnt be typing anything related to him anymore here but i just cant help but feel like complaining.. dun worry i'm not bothered by the truth and i wont give a fucking damn to it.. it's over like i've said and no longer have anything to do with me.. as long as i know i'm not guilty of cheating someone in love.. i'm not guilty of lying and i've loved with my heart fully.. i'm happy for everything.. i'm happily with my wonderful bf now and will never be a dumb ass that fail my own life like HIM.. it's GG for u ok~ haha! to guys out there reading this.. PLEASE~ if u're approaching adulthood, please stop fucking hong ard like some kids and please learn wat the fuck is love and cherish the one that loves u too.. if u never understand love in this entire life of urs, u failed to live.. that's al i can say.. gd luck n gd bye

i know it's been long since i last update.. okok here are the pics of the happy halloween i had alrite ^^ thanks to mummy once again for making my costume hehe **loves** wanted to head to zouk but as usual every yr it's near impossible to get into it.. so headed to dbl o instead.. and here are the pics ^^

Visual Jason, jer and vampire me
i swear i cannot recognise jason -.-

vampire me and visual shin

vampire me and ermm.. school boy william?

my full set ^^V

vampire trying to act cowboy =x with pretty narine

the girls XD

yes la my first victim of the nite lolita del

and she bangs me in my head :(

vampire can use a gun too u noe?

lolita del, cowboy nashie and vampire me

a gun's better or a vampire fangs?

vampire me with visual kai
(i love this pic)

a vampire and cowboy's spotted at a prata shop near zouk lols

visual bapok kai?!

this is how my hat look like origianlly

the materials gathered for my pretty costume **loves**

hoho love my fangs

act cute =x

well.. i'm a happy vampire this year :) anyway a mini update to wat i've been up to recently for those who complains that i did not update X( i've quitted my studies in RP and currently am looking for a job.. just finish buzzing with halloween and now it's time to get back to my life.. if any of u have any job to intro do remember to buzz me alrite? and to let u al in a lil news.. i'm seeing someone =x but it's just dating i guess.. and i'm not ready to jump into another new journey currently.. it's kinda happened too fast and i am not ready to fully let go of the past.. anyway he's a nice guy and a little over nice (provided he stop bullying me!) well.. dates are better thn being in a r/s isnt it ^^ anyway.. i realise it's time to catch up with a few of u out there HOR?! Miss fairy, Miss sisi.. both of u MIA very long liao~~ my 2 darlings.. i miss u na T_T this week shall be our catching up week! wheeeeeeee~

thank you for crushing my heart once again

iko pronounce dead

today went to fly for fel jie's bday.. and guess how suay can i be.. HE was there =.= i mean mr S.. wanna noe who thn ask me.. he's just someone that step into my heart and left long ago.. he's someone that's totally not worth of my love anyway.. but ya he's performing there **shi suay de lor** when our eyes met, it was a WTF! from him n me =.= well.. i just smiled and continue talking to ju they al.. ju told me he got the WTF look on his face when he saw me.. haha~ oh well.. nice meet up again ya? and another thing that happened was that i met mr O.L there.. one of my ex's fren.. he lied to me saying my ex was working as bartender there.. my immediate reaction was "DUN LIE" lol~ OL thot i stupid or wat ar! i'm stil contacting HIM ok~~ lalala~ but even thou i know it's not the truth, while walking back to our table, i couldnt stop looking for HIM at the bar =\ i know it's fake but why am i stil so stupidly looking for him? sigh~ dumb ass~~ anyway it was a good nite out for me thou.. a good reward for myself since i was stuck home for like months? haha~ anyway happy birthday to my dearest sis.. she finally found her love XD so happy for her hehe~ and i got iser jie n fel jie de present for me hehe~ fel jie gave me a star necklace and iser jie gave me a photo frame and a reali wu xim de birthday "card" lol!! see pictures for info XD i love both my jiejie til the end of time!! muacks! and i love my gorgors too hehe.. i was so thankful for the 4 of them.. taking reali good care of me and loving me everyday ^^ thankyousss~!

fel jie give de necklace XD

iser jie give de special gift XD

may god bless my sisters and brothers with perfect love and pece within their hearts and never let them be forsaken.. loving them each and everyday~ may happiness follow them everywhere they go and make tears be gone.. may they always remember this sister that's always here for them and loving them~ may i be a blessing to them too as they're truly blessings i received <3

have been having quite lotsa thots in my head for the past few days.. joshua mentioned something that reali struck me so hard.. it has nothing to do with my r/s or watsoever.. it's just his views on r/s.. he mentioned that in a r/s, it tends to be the guy giving their all in the beginning of the r/s.. and in the later part of the r/s when everything kinda stabled down, the girls will be the ones giving their all while the guy keeps receiving.. he said that these kinda r/s wil never work.. a good r/s that'll work is where both parties give and take the equal amount.. isnt it just so true?? i have this fren that was with her ex bf for more thn 7 yrs.. engaged and bought a house.. but all along she's the one that's giving her all while her bf's the type that receives.. the ending is the same.. a break up.. or shud i say divorce? ha~ r/s seems so hard to maintain and so complicated to understand.. but for me personally i tink that love is very simple.. it's when 2 hearts tinks for one another.. trying to compromise to one another.. of cos being fair and reasonable is a must.. but when you truly love someone, you'll just automaticaly compromise to them wont you? at least i will.. i've always believed that there's one person out there, that possesses the power to tame the lil devil in me one day.. i guess i found him.. and he walked away.. but it's ok.. as long as i know i've finally found one of the 3 main guy in my life.. ppl say in one's life you'll meet 3 person in your life..

1. Someone that loves you the MOST
2. Someone that you love the MOST
3. the one you spent your entire life with

and 3 of them might be different person.. if you happen to have 2 of them the same person, you're already considered very blessed.. til now.. i'm quite very sure i've found number 2.. the one i love the most.. i can never be so sure.. the one that loves me most? i'm stil watching.. haha~ maybe til now it's him.. and i'm thankful that i'm considered very blessed :) well.. just some random nonsense about love again from my ikologic hehe~ i'm just bored and needed a space to typed out all these ikologic hopefully i can lease a book one day =x ok lame~ gd nite~


single sided love wil never last..
even if it last, it'll just be responsibilities..
so what's the point?

school's started but i aint goin to school this week.. am stil busy getting stuff for my new home in woodlands.. finally gotten a big house thou it's just rent only.. but still i'm glad i got it :) it's so much nearer to my stupid school.. will be attending school starting next monday since i'm almost done with my packing of house.. now all i need to do is pack up my mood and get myself mentally prepare for school.. life has been so dead for me now.. wake up, buying grocery, pack house, end of my day.. how damn dead can this be? my only activity now is to go hilltop with xuemin to drink.. many have ask me out for club.. but hello~~ my bone rusty le.. cant party like ever le.. tml might be heading to boiler with fairy darling.. hopefully i can get the mood to be in a party place ba.. kinda hate that place now since it'll bring back memories.. argh~ sucks to be me.. sucks to be in this state now.. i always feel so lonely nowadays.. always am in need of companion.. xuemin, laoeh and mummy are my main company now.. hopefully i can live my life like the past soon ba..

imu :(

had a i-am-so-lost day today :( only went to one unit for viewing and wakao~ it's a F big disappoinment X( after that was just a rotitng day at home.. i mean in room :( steph ask me out to dbl O.. if i were the old iko i'd just say yes and let's party on.. but i just was overloaded with too many things now i guess.. even if i go i also wont be enjoying myself.. besides, goin back there will just remind me of him.. sigh~ rahh rahh~ i should stop talking bout him.. anyway instead of goin out, steph's coming over to my place lol~ we're so gonna have a good drink and nice chat at home :) she also had alot of worries now so i guess we'll be each other's listening ear tonite ba.. infact i think she's a reali strong girl.. so much thing happened to her yet she's stil moving no so strongly.. her life was reali ruined by GUYS~ damn it.. i wont say wat happen here but i seriously curse him to the max.. ruin her stil dun wan leave her.. tmd~ reali is a cbk.. she's such a nice girl lor.. so nice and so loving.. dunno why he doesnt noe how to cherish her.. this kinda guy ought to be shot in the head la.. dig out their heart and flush down the toilet bowl.. nabeis~ X( anyway hope the law will protect her ba.. and we all will protect her :) jiayou girl! you're not alone :) bahh~ i'm so bored now.. tink i'll just rot infront of my tv while waiting for her to arrive ba.. gd nite~

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我的心好痛。。
我好想你 =........(



梁靜茹-會呼吸的痛

在東京鐵塔　第一次眺望　看燈火模仿　墜落的星光
我終於到達　但卻更悲傷　一個人完成　我們的夢想

and just when i'm enjoying being a lil happy girl.. you took it all away.. you left me all alone here all by myself.. it hurts.. so much.. baby.. thanks for the memories we've shared.. i loved you so.. this love was just so strong for me to let go.. you have to.. it's all u said.. it's ok baby.. i understand.. i wont force anything and i'll be a strong girl.. a strong girl who move on in life happily.. wish you all the best baby..


David Cook - Always be my baby..

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

goodbye and goodluck..

had our girls nite out with xuemin and yuyun last nite to hilltop and had reali good chats.. hmm this 2 days had made me realised how lucky i am to have baby in my life.. hmm firstly was xuemin told me bout her r/s with ahjin.. it wasnt reali good.. but i guess there's stil hope for them if she manage to get him to sit down and talk properly.. after that was yuyun told me her problems.. it was just some kind of i like him but he dun like me kinda thing la.. hmm i can understand that kinda feeling for sure.. i've been thru it umpteen times lol~~ thn after that was yifeng telling me some of his prob.. hmm nothing much i can help or advice also since i'm not that close with him.. we just had a lil chat this noon onli.. after all these.. i just felt i'm already consider a lucky girl le ba.. for having such a sweet baby, so understandin.. many told us they envy the both of us.. the 3 of them especially keep mentioning it.. but afterall.. we too envy others ar.. they can openly shout out I LOVE YOU! we couldnt.. they could plan for their future we couldnt.. we cant even imagine our future lol~ so.. i guess there'll always be good and bad in all r/s ba.. that's why i say fate sucks.. BOO!! but afterall i'm stil thankful for a loving baby and wish that nothing will ever change..

i'm willing to give up a woman's biggest dream for you baby..
it's just cos i love you so much <3

so much had happened recently and i'm extremely thankful that everything's peace now.. lotsa misunderstanding and accidents here and there and i'm thankful that both me and baby could have the best talk last nite.. it's been long since i can truly smile :) nothing much to mention here.. just know that i'm the happiest girl on earth now :D a very special song for my very special boy..


David Cook - Always be my baby..

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby


just like you said baby..
our love wasnt affected at all..
iloveyou <3

i had a terrible day.. all thanks to my stupid mouth again.. why do i always have to piss the one i love off when everything could be avoided? =\ sigh~ just went to jetty alone to have some reflection and catch some fresh air.. felt kinda lonely but i guess lonely helps us think better ya? i thot of alot of things.. especially between us.. i still couldnt believe i could hurt him so much.. i reali am so lost now :( there's like so much things i wanna say to him.. but i just dunno where to start.. the thot of him might stop loving me one day reali makes me so scared.. i just.. am so scared :( i wish i didnt drink that nite.. i wish i didnt say those stuffs that nite.. i wish.. i reali wish.. could i ever have a chance to be his good girl again? i didnt receive his imu and ilu at all today :( how could our love be so fragile? sigh~ i tink i deserve to be shot in the head big time.. i'm beginning to hate being me.. i'm such a idiot.. hais

i yearn for your hug..
i yearn for your smile..
i yearn to be in your arms..
i yearn..
for our laughter :(
baby i miss you so much :(

i cant believe i love you just soooooooooooo much!!

it's been hard for me to accept a few facts and wild imagination i've been having recently =\ but of cos i'm a strong girl and will be stronger thn ever :) and whenever i'm having and unhappiness regarding my simplicated r/s, i'll always turn my eyes to this very special blog that i've mentioned in my previous post.. oh~ she just shifted her bloggy anyway and here's the new link :)

http://www.charleneyl.blogspot.com

i just dunno why but i've start to seek strength from her blog.. it's just.. she's so strong and reali touched my heart so much.. each time i read her blog.. i told myself i have to stay contented with watever god gave me now.. greed shall not overcome me and i shall be blessed.. self consoling? well.. it's better thn letting myself sink to temptation and turn my heart evil.. i've been thinking bout baby's wanting to change his job.. he mentioned that we'll be able to meet at a much more normal timing and i can seriously foresee our days in the near future.. indeed, it'll be something happier for me since we get to see each other more and i dun have to always wait til he end his work at those unhourly timings.. we both wont be as tired as now trying to stay up to reali late just to accompany each other.. but somehow i'm having some doubts bout it =\ this might be a minor change.. but it might affect the entire r/s badly.. i was just having some thots bout changes and how it affects us.. i mean in general so no emo bout it :) it's like.. even if one day my onli wish comes true (it's my secret).. how happy will i be? hmm~ at least for now i noe i have to cherish him and hold him as closely to my heart as possible.. i know how hard it is for us to be tgt and thus i learn to cherish.. but if my onli wish came true.. will i stil noe how to cherish? humans are just cheap creatures that takes thing for granted almost all of our life isnt it? i keep telling myself.. even if one day i were to live a happy life with monetary riches, with r/s riches, with frenship riches, i'll NOT change my character and i will NOT take them for granted.. i keep reminding myself to always think back to these suffering days i'm having and to be thankful IF i were ever be a rich (in everyway) girl one day.. well.. i hope i will not disappoint myself or anyone that loves me now :) just hope for the best and be optimistic in everything i do..

i'm just so in love with you..
stop these greeds and make me content..
loves..

wheee~ everything's been goin alrite for me :) am trying to learn to ignore everything and just walk a step and see a step lol =x anyway.. one big thing is that I'M NOW A PROPERTY AGENT!!! lol~ so if anyone you or ur frens or family needs to rent a space/house/room, or sell or buy houses.. even commercial types can contact me!!! i'm with HSR and here's my pretty photo =x anyway i told mummy that this can be use for my song ka next time lol and i got a knock on my head hehe =x REMEMBER look out for me for property alrite!! love love!!



anyway just to add on.. i've just read fairy darling's bloggy and she planned bout her near future.. i think i should do some planning here too so that i could keep track of my life since i've hit the bloody 21 :( and here it goes..

by the age of..
22 - i MUST graduate with my stupid diploma and do some serious job searching..
24 - i wish to be able to at least be stabalised in my career (as in that'll be my confirmed job)
25 - get my long awaited suzuki swift sports
27 - get engaged (hopefully!!!)
28 - officially married!
30 - get my first kid
.
.
.

the rest i tink i better dun fill in first in case of disappointment.. i dunno how many kids i'd like to have cos i dunno the responsibility level and commitment level yet.. so it's best not to plan that far.. for now definitely i'll wan at least 1 kid and hopefully is a baby boy.. why? cos i wont have to worry THAT much lol =x in this society a girl tends to lose out more thanks to traditional thinkings isnt it? haha~ well the society is changing and hopefully it'll change by thn cos deeply from within, i wan a baby girl lol =x girls are more adorable and i think i can communicate better with them lol..

ok enough talks bout baby and starting my own family.. i'll just wan my family to be perfect or near perfect :) and for now i better cover my ass and make sure i get my diploma.. roar!! sometimes.. i reali hate to be young :( indeed.. adulthood will bring in more stress, responsibility and commitment.. but afterall, as a STABLE adult, it'll be much easier to do things isnt it? for now.. a 21 year old me, i cant make much decision in life for my family.. i cant have much say and i'm very lost about my future :( hopefully my plans will go accordingly and i can follow the timeline i've set for myself :)

god'll help..

我真的好累 :(

从来都没有这样的感觉。。好累好累。。好多的事情，一次过发生着，把我所有的力气都用得彻底。。一直好想好好的继续伪装下去，继续带着一个开心果的面具，继续努力的把笑容挂在每一个我身边的人。 我一直常说 “开心也是活一天，伤心也是活一天。而且我们不知道几时会和这个世界道别，为何要等到太迟了才后悔当初为何不开心一点地离开呢？” 就因为这样的想法，我才一直坚强的面对一切的问题，我才能开开心心的过我的每一天。 就算是假装也好，至少我是笑着而离开，朋友们，爱我的人，也会永远记得我的笑容。 但这次，我觉得好累。好想把心中的不愉快全都抛开，不是不想去面对，而是不知该如何去面对。我好怕有一天，我就这样的崩溃了。我好想好想离开这个残酷的世界，到一个没有烦恼，没有忧愁的世界。成人的世界好黑暗，还残酷，好悲。。我好不想长大，好想永远做个被疼，被宠的公主。。我好想有个自己的家，一个真正属于我的家。。 一个我可以大声地说“这是我的家！” 我好希望我演的不是看着自己身边的朋友一个一个离开的角色，而是演于这个世界告别的角色。我好希望我能拨开人心，好好地去了解我身边所爱的每个人的心。这样，我才知道到底做什么才是最对的。看到所爱的人这么的失落，自己却完全帮不上什么忙，让我感到好沮丧。。好无助。。我生命里重要力量的来源都在面对着好大好大的打击。我最亲的妈妈，曾经跟我一起走过我人生最大的一段的同学们，我好爱好爱的他。。他们都在于这世界的残酷作战。我的力量已有限了，好想一个人静一静，好好的充电。我知道，我不是一个人在拼命的寻找生存的方法，我知道有很多人一直会跟我走到底。。你们知道你们是谁，我只想说句“谢谢你，辛苦了”。 有一首歌真的能诉说我现在的感受。。我把它写在这吧。。

李圣杰 - 远走高飞

爱你错了吗？
为什么会受到这么多惩罚
他们说的话像针往心里扎
我心中的怕
不知该怎么做才可以放下
只不过想好好的爱一次啊

带我远走高飞
不去理会
这一个蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪
是你让我选择沉醉
繁星守侯月不能睡
只因为爱上了夜的黑

带我远走高飞
一起去追
有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水
我已经感觉到疲累
只想在你怀抱入睡
不在乎别人眼中是非

重新再出发
能不能让这天地不再吵杂
我的心里面安静得不像话
故事的真假
没有多余的力气去分辨他
只不过想好好的爱一次啊


我会努力的寻找属于我的完美世界。。

i've highlighted the words that meant so much to me at this very phase of my life.. i dun wanna say much.. read it ba..

伍家辉 - 虽然我愿意

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔

我别无选择
就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

i'm just so..
helpless..
:(

For all who's always unsatisfied with your other half.. do read up this blog.. it belongs to the superwoman who belong to the honourable RSAF guy who passed on honourably for our country.. read up on it and pls do feel happy that you and ur other half is still breathing.. and pls do cherish him/her..

www.memyselfmine.blogspot.com

i had a hard time reading this cos my tears couldnt stop flowing.. it was a reali touching blog and i seriously can feel for her.. and i can seriously feel the pain of losing someone that played a part in your life once as one of my old fren just left us ytd.. thou my pain wont be as much thou.. but anyway after reading her blog.. i felt that she reali deserves the title "clifton's superwoman" :) she's just so strong and she reali earned my respect for her.. she did all girls proud :) i'm kinda getting speechless here.. too much emotions are stiring in me.. hopefully she'll find her peace and joy with her soon.. may god be with her :)

it's been quite a bad day for me and the people ard me.. few things have been happening recently and 3 major ones especially.. are firstly, i'm shifting house.. i didnt thot of it as a big deal initially.. but now that i'm shifting tml, i'm kinda feeling down right now :( i'll be homeless after 31st july :( thanks to my WONDERFUL father who messed up this family and my life.. but this incident is fine for me.. i'm stil able to take it as i have my precious mummy to stand by me always :)

secondly is that.. one of my pri / sec school mate had just left this world ytd :( thanks to a bike accident.. this is why i'm very against anyone ard me to ride a bike now :( how many have my frens passed away thanks to bikes? sigh~ i onli got the news today and i'll be heading down to the funeral later with bro saychin and jeff.. recently just got into contact back with jeff again and we were still happily chatting bout meeting up soon.. and who could have expected? that our first meeting up after so long will be at our fren's funeral.. i reali felt so.. speechless.. i kinda feel numb.. death has been goin on ard me since i dunno when and i couldnt reali felt the sadness now.. i guess.. this is life? we live to die..

the major thing that's making me goin gaga was baby.. things haven been good in his family and baby's on the verge of breaking down.. it was reali sad to see him like that and i couldnt do anything bout it.. i could onli pass him tissues and give him pats on the back and just hugs =\ i felt so helpless when i look at him and reali dunno wat else i can do :( the one thing that he's very very sad bout was his precious daughter.. maybe i couldnt understand cos i haven been in a parent's stand before.. but of cos i now how painful it is to have to part with someone dear to u especiall ur very own family.. sigh~ i'm feeling kinda bad now.. at points of time i felt like telling baby to go back to her, try to ask for her forgivness and keep the marriage there.. just for the sake of his daughter.. it's like.. i've been in a broken family and witness every single thing that's goin on in my broken family from it's perfect to how damn broken it is today.. the feeling sucks.. i might act like i dun reali give a damn to it.. but afterall.. it hurts.. even til now.. :( and seeing him feeling so sucky having to part with his daughter makes me reali heart broken.. sigh.. i'm very lost too even thou this is something that i can simply ignore.. i dunno wat i shud do.. to leave him alone and let things go as it is and til he got use to his new way of lifestyle and let him come find me again? or shud i always be there for him, goin thru every details of this miserable time with him? which will make him feel better??? he's putting most of the blames on himself.. but when a r/s breaks down.. i suppose it's got to do with both parties ba.. and of cos i'll repeat.. things happen for a reason.. sigh.. i reali am very lost and feeling very bad now.. wat shud i do?! god.. help me pls.. :(

just a little prayer i guess i need now..
dear god.. firstly i pray that mummy and i would be strong enough to go thru this 1 yr of hardship without a house of our own and that mummy would be strong enough emotionally when the day she have to sign the divorce letter with that fucker. grant us a strength mentally, emotionally and physically.. be with us and never forsake us.. secondly, i'm truly thankful for a fren like shawn.. ever since pri sch we've been bickering and never ever could talk properly til the day we grad from sec.. only once or twice we ever talk properly i guess.. even thou we werent reali reali close frens but at least we did play a part in each others' life.. lord, he mentioned that he thinks he got no frens at all.. do calm his soul and let him find the peace in you and know that every single one of us here is missing him and prayed peace for him.. may he return to heaven and be loved by you and find eternity.. thirdly, lord i pray that you could heal xian of his wounds emotionally now.. he needs to be strong for himself now.. and he couldnt afford to break down at this very moment.. lord, grant him the peace and right mind that he needs now.. i pray that everything that he decides to do will be according your rightful will and lord may you guide him in every step that he needs to walk now.. it'll be hard to start a new life for him now at this very point of time.. but lord i believe you have great plans for everyone of us.. do not forsake this child of yours lord.. he needs your loving hand to guide him along and may you send him the pillars of his life like you've sent me mine.. let him know that he wount be walking this path alone, that he'll never be forsaken by anyone of us.. lastly lord.. i pray that you'll give me the right words and actions at the right times.. grant me the right words to use when someone needs me.. grant me the right words that could stir your peace in them and could calm every unrested souls.. grant me strength to face every obstacles that's in this life of mine.. remove all temptations and keep my heart faithful to you.. lord.. heal this body of mine that breaking down very soon.. remove all illness and weakness of this body that you've created.. and heal this soul emotionally and mentally.. grant me a strong mind to think the best out of every solutions.. grant me a strong will to go on with life and make my life your will.. make it the way you planned for me and make it all worthwhile being alive.. i haven found the reali reason to be alive and the purpose of being alive.. but lord, pray that you'll help me realise it soon.. let me die one day smiling cos i've realise the purpose of being alive and may my life be fulfilled the day i return to heaven being with you.. lord i pray for your blessings to fall upon everyone single souls that's hurt and shattered now.. may your peace, love and joy rest upon them and heal their wound.. may they seek for your loving hand and rest in your sanctuary.. in jesus name.. amen

be strong :)

i couldnt sleep and felt like writing some stuffs here.. and typing away, i just came up with a story.. maybe u wont say it's a story thou since it's like ultra short.. might wanna touch up on it when my brain's functioning in a better time other days.. anyway here it goes (:


A dream about he and she..

she is someone who's hard to be tamed and loves to play and party everyday.. maybe sometimes even forgotten what is the responsibility of a girlfriend and couldnt set her heart down.. but when she met him, she's able to stay home almost everyday just to wait for his calls or msges.. understands that he is a man who gives off huge security to a girl and yet has a reali gentle side, she fell so deeply in love with him.. thanks to him, she wishes to be a perfect girlfriend or even a perfect wife.. she wishes to be able to be there for him everyday at home with dinner prepared saying "welcome home my love".. she wishes that everynight she could give him a real nice massage and a kiss goodnight before her eyes closes.. and she wishes to be able to kiss him awake with a reali soft "good morning my baby".. how could a wild party animal be tamed so easily by just an ordinary guy? "it's fate" many would say.. but fate just loves to add lots of obstacles to relationships isnt it? fate brought them together and their love was near perfect.. NEAR~ i repeat.. someone told me this.. "i believe they will be a modal couple if only......." ya.. IF ONLY..

she's beginning to wonder.. "how long more can i take it?" she's breaking down.. she's tired of acting strong and as if it doesnt matter at all.. she's tired of being lil miss nice.. but what else can she do by being lil miss nice? absolutely.. NOTHING! she doesnt want to leave him as, he is someone that can made her felt so loved and belonged to.. but the love was so strong that she's getting greedy and wants him so much now.. she could dream all day with images of them staying together.. getting married in the world's most beautiful wedding gown.. playing and laughing everyday in their lil home sweet home.. and even one day playing with lil kids ard them.. she dreamt that they'd go through thick and thins together hand in hand and never forsake one another.. she dreamt that she could announce to the entire world that this is the man she belonged to and she's the one he belonged to..

but..

afterall..

it's just a dream..




and it'll always be...

to hui..

i dun seriously care wat u're saying anyway since u dun even dare to say who u truly are.. get a life and stop hiding behind ur screen pathetically and trying to bring ppl down with unclear facts u got.. ya ya all my stories are the same.. i guess u just cant understand english as a story itself so u thot it's al the same ya? it's ok forgiven :) ya the guys are very xinfu now and i'm happy for them.. definitely.. come on this is the adult world where we're stil frens even after breakup.. except for some idiots who doesnt know their limit and try to act like some STILL bf.. and u mention that if my ex were all bad guys like i said, why they can be xinfu ya? that's because me and them are just not compatible and not the right one.. hello~ u expect how many right guys can a person meet? use ur brain before u type pls.. thanks :) and gdbye if u dun wanna even disclose who u truly are.. ur comments are totally not affecting anyone here.. maybe some scams wil be happy reading thou :)

it's all u urself to blame for making things it is now.. be frens? DIDNT I?! but what are u doin behind my back? telling everyone how pathetic u are after the ending of the story and making me the baddie? go ahead! i dun seriously give a damn and dun even wish to.. i cant believe that i suddenly felt that u're a BIG stranger to me now! someone that i thot i truly understands and spent 6 bloody months with.. doin all this childish stuff.. making the world pity u.. telling un-nice secrets bout me to others.. for this alone i cant forgive u the least bit! go ahead and say watever u wish.. i dun wanna care anymore.. thanks for the present anyway and u wont have to crack ur head for me anymore.. bye!

Happy 21st Bird day to me!! XD

i'm now an official adult! wheee!! anyway i have to blog onli now because my stupid internet has been SUSPENDED!! #$%^&*%$#@# roar! anyway here's blog bout my celebration at Dbl O~ firstly.. i'm DARN proud to announce that.. I AM NOT THE LEAST DRUNK!! wahahaha!! ^^V didnt drink much thou.. had quite a few shots of baileys and i swear it's darn good! very sweet and nice~ and and and!! it's my virgin waterfall day! XD Mr cash and Mr dbl o senior manager treated me ^^V soooooooooo NOT nice =x the taste is actually stil alrite.. but is after you finish drinking, your throat feels like there's fire in it! :( cash and mel bluff me! they say they drink with me but ended up i finish it on my own :( after drinking i'm like dying for a glass of ice water to extinguish the fire lol~ when the water goes down ur throat, it felt h-e-a-v-e-n-l-y!! XD was quite a crazy celebration there but i guess i was too pissed with the cake smashing thing =\ i just felt.. it's F CHILDISH!! X( dun wanna say much bout it here but anyway it's ok so it's ok now.. anyway baby did come! ahaha! he wear til so shuai can **woolala** after awhile baby, me, gor and jeannie went to eat at bencoolen.. thn we went home le.. had a reali nice day and i love the pressie opening ceremony! lol =x shawnie papa and his gf gave me a perlini bracelet and it's star design!! S-T-A-R!! ahaha! so nice! jeannie gave me a chomel STAR choker with purple blings and hearts bracelet.. STAR again hohoho! ^^V and juzjuz gave me a gold handbag.. reali so sweet of them! XD appreciates! wheee~ oh! and one very special gift!! it's so special my jaws almost drop lol =x it's from my mr nice faci (lecturer) Eric.. he bought me a domain! XD i'll soon be moving my blog over there.. am stil under construction and i'm stil trying to understand how to function it lol =x but anyway the webby is http://www.ryuiko.com/ hehe! so happy! another happy thing here! I PASS MY BTT LE!!! XD OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG so happy! the moment i click end test, my heart almost stop.. but the word PASSED appear i smile and walked out gracefully.. next thing i'm doin is i'm screaming my lungs out on phone to mummy lol =x sooooooo happy!! anyway.. am very touched by everyone that made this day so special for me ^^ my wonderful 21st birthday! wheeee! anyway i'll upload some pics here.. BUT there's still more that i haven gotten from angela so those wil be up in the next post! ^^ **loves loves**

Fairy darling give de lilies all open le!!! WTF! XD

Shawnie papa and his gf de pressie **lovesloves**

Jeannie gave de chomel star bling and bracelet! **lovesloves**

Juzjuz give de gold gold handbag! **lovesloves**

A gift from the traffic police lol =x

Fairy darling and me **loves**

My precious jiejie **loves**

And the 3 RESERVED one lol =x

they call this the family handsign! XD

sisters!! wheeeee

A baileys toast to myself for stepping into adulthood!

Pretty pretty cake from MNL **lovesloves**

i wish i may i wish i might...

cheese with my birthday cake!

and i huff and i puff and POOF the candles are off XD

ya.. family tradition.. thanks -_______-

this is wat i call s-t-u-p-i-d..

and stupidier......

ended my 21st celebration when the clock strikes 12.. was reali ahppy and contented with everything in my life now.. nothing to complain and everything i'm thanking god for it.. thank you everyone for being such a wonderful friend/family! and of cos.. i love my dearie lalala~ =p