Melody of my Life..

it's been quite a bad day for me and the people ard me.. few things have been happening recently and 3 major ones especially.. are firstly, i'm shifting house.. i didnt thot of it as a big deal initially.. but now that i'm shifting tml, i'm kinda feeling down right now :( i'll be homeless after 31st july :( thanks to my WONDERFUL father who messed up this family and my life.. but this incident is fine for me.. i'm stil able to take it as i have my precious mummy to stand by me always :)

secondly is that.. one of my pri / sec school mate had just left this world ytd :( thanks to a bike accident.. this is why i'm very against anyone ard me to ride a bike now :( how many have my frens passed away thanks to bikes? sigh~ i onli got the news today and i'll be heading down to the funeral later with bro saychin and jeff.. recently just got into contact back with jeff again and we were still happily chatting bout meeting up soon.. and who could have expected? that our first meeting up after so long will be at our fren's funeral.. i reali felt so.. speechless.. i kinda feel numb.. death has been goin on ard me since i dunno when and i couldnt reali felt the sadness now.. i guess.. this is life? we live to die..

the major thing that's making me goin gaga was baby.. things haven been good in his family and baby's on the verge of breaking down.. it was reali sad to see him like that and i couldnt do anything bout it.. i could onli pass him tissues and give him pats on the back and just hugs =\ i felt so helpless when i look at him and reali dunno wat else i can do :( the one thing that he's very very sad bout was his precious daughter.. maybe i couldnt understand cos i haven been in a parent's stand before.. but of cos i now how painful it is to have to part with someone dear to u especiall ur very own family.. sigh~ i'm feeling kinda bad now.. at points of time i felt like telling baby to go back to her, try to ask for her forgivness and keep the marriage there.. just for the sake of his daughter.. it's like.. i've been in a broken family and witness every single thing that's goin on in my broken family from it's perfect to how damn broken it is today.. the feeling sucks.. i might act like i dun reali give a damn to it.. but afterall.. it hurts.. even til now.. :( and seeing him feeling so sucky having to part with his daughter makes me reali heart broken.. sigh.. i'm very lost too even thou this is something that i can simply ignore.. i dunno wat i shud do.. to leave him alone and let things go as it is and til he got use to his new way of lifestyle and let him come find me again? or shud i always be there for him, goin thru every details of this miserable time with him? which will make him feel better??? he's putting most of the blames on himself.. but when a r/s breaks down.. i suppose it's got to do with both parties ba.. and of cos i'll repeat.. things happen for a reason.. sigh.. i reali am very lost and feeling very bad now.. wat shud i do?! god.. help me pls.. :(

just a little prayer i guess i need now..
dear god.. firstly i pray that mummy and i would be strong enough to go thru this 1 yr of hardship without a house of our own and that mummy would be strong enough emotionally when the day she have to sign the divorce letter with that fucker. grant us a strength mentally, emotionally and physically.. be with us and never forsake us.. secondly, i'm truly thankful for a fren like shawn.. ever since pri sch we've been bickering and never ever could talk properly til the day we grad from sec.. only once or twice we ever talk properly i guess.. even thou we werent reali reali close frens but at least we did play a part in each others' life.. lord, he mentioned that he thinks he got no frens at all.. do calm his soul and let him find the peace in you and know that every single one of us here is missing him and prayed peace for him.. may he return to heaven and be loved by you and find eternity.. thirdly, lord i pray that you could heal xian of his wounds emotionally now.. he needs to be strong for himself now.. and he couldnt afford to break down at this very moment.. lord, grant him the peace and right mind that he needs now.. i pray that everything that he decides to do will be according your rightful will and lord may you guide him in every step that he needs to walk now.. it'll be hard to start a new life for him now at this very point of time.. but lord i believe you have great plans for everyone of us.. do not forsake this child of yours lord.. he needs your loving hand to guide him along and may you send him the pillars of his life like you've sent me mine.. let him know that he wount be walking this path alone, that he'll never be forsaken by anyone of us.. lastly lord.. i pray that you'll give me the right words and actions at the right times.. grant me the right words to use when someone needs me.. grant me the right words that could stir your peace in them and could calm every unrested souls.. grant me strength to face every obstacles that's in this life of mine.. remove all temptations and keep my heart faithful to you.. lord.. heal this body of mine that breaking down very soon.. remove all illness and weakness of this body that you've created.. and heal this soul emotionally and mentally.. grant me a strong mind to think the best out of every solutions.. grant me a strong will to go on with life and make my life your will.. make it the way you planned for me and make it all worthwhile being alive.. i haven found the reali reason to be alive and the purpose of being alive.. but lord, pray that you'll help me realise it soon.. let me die one day smiling cos i've realise the purpose of being alive and may my life be fulfilled the day i return to heaven being with you.. lord i pray for your blessings to fall upon everyone single souls that's hurt and shattered now.. may your peace, love and joy rest upon them and heal their wound.. may they seek for your loving hand and rest in your sanctuary.. in jesus name.. amen

be strong :)