Happy 1st Month~

it was indeed a happy first month to us (: dar gave me a nice "presentation" of the gift ^^ he lied that he woke up at 4plus X( but he actually woke up earlier! lol~ rahhhh~ thn he made some noises to hint me to open the door for him.. when i went out i saw this..



on a closer look.. it's..


and ta-da.. this is the gift from him on our dearest 1st month anni XD


nice rite!!! XD so sweet of him!*loves* and the missing piece is....
ME! hehehe =x
poor dardar slept for only 10 pathetic minutes that night before just to complete this T.T
we than went to town for dinner and movie [alvin and the chipmunks] <- VERY NICE!!!
wanted to spend the special day together alone but erm.. ended up meeting gorgor they al movie together.. well but at least we spent the day together and had a nice dinner at pepper lunch ^^


the pretty view of orchard nearing christmas ^^
it felt good just standing there in your arms even thou nothing much was going on (:


that's how we spend our nice sweet first month ^^


Happy 1st month anniversary my love.. *muackies*


may many more months to come..
may this last til the end of time..
i love you..

i wan to commit suicide after coming to this webby X(

http://www.metoyou.com/index.php?action=Product&categoryId=232

RAHH~
i've always wanted somethings about tatty that's more useful unlike the teddy bears.. and now i see it but i cant get it T_T *bangwalldie*

Attention Santa~!!

woots christmas is here again XD cant help but to think of my annual christmas wishlist once again =x so those who thinks are my very nice nice frens.. keep a lookout here ya? =x and if u could leave a list somewhere and let me noe ^^ to help me save my headaches from shopping for gifts XD


Dear Santa..

1.A bag that i can stick to for LONG =x best is i can put my lappie n jacket in so i can bring to sch

2.My fave brown flowery tube dress which i last saw in march 07' at fareast

3.The adidas "I love japan" jacket

4.A nice slipper so i wont slip and fall

5.The super nice and big tatty bear that cost 400bucks =x

6.2 more pairs of new jeans a light coloured one and a black one

7.A few more top for my wardrobe be it tee or sleeveless i juz want more casual wear X(

8.A new nice and easy maintain hairstyle

9.A happy and merry christmas for al my families and friends ^^

10.A happy and merry christmas for me and my dearest love


i aint asking for too much am i?? =x santa santa~ juz ans a few of my wishes above and i'll be very thankful to you XD anyway am very looking forward to christmas once again XD my christmas was always gd.. may this year be gd too (: with my love entering my life, i believe everything wil be prettier thn the past few yrs (: even thou i am not able to have christmas feast with the 3 of them again (the clover that never dies), i stil wishes them a merry christmas form the bottom of my heart..

merry christmas to you

My dad?? more like a asshole!

i have such a asshole father! f*cking hell.. can i ask u where got ppl side outsiders rather thn own family one?! a slave for money! prideless bastard that tries to save some face for himself! *PUI* that asshole gave me a good nagging session like 5min ago. and seriously, i've never ever felt so @#$%^#@#$%^& before! X( how can there be ppl that contradicts themselves SO DAMN WELL one??? pls tell me what on earth is he thinking. or rather.. are u sure he is reali 55years olds? more like 5yrs old hao ma~~~

this is wat he juz nagged at me..
see for yourself how nonsensical it is ok..

"i never ever think for myself.. al i think and care for is you.. if i care for myself my life would be much easier"

so is he trying to hint something? HA~

"i'm not rich.. even if i have no money with me i'll borrow and give it to u.. i'm always worry that you got no money to spend"

ISIT?!?!?! next thing i see is a brand new sony ericsson HP he's holding ^^ and IF that reali is the case, why the fuck am i stil so poor now??? i dun anyhow spend my money if u noe me well..

"why you always seems so bo chap about the family?!"

you think there's anything i can do??? FYI~ i'm not even of a legal age to decide what's gonna happen to my house! and btw, other thn my mum, i got no more family ^^

"the electrical bills are so high! can u save?!"

so u expect me to quit sch and work full time?! FYI~ this asshole dun even allow me to work PART TIME!!! when i work he stopped me, when i dun work he nag me.. WTF?! and why are the bills high? it's basically the fuck up tenants that on the light for 24/7!

"you think if you go rent a room outside, you can have all these freedom? u can bring ur frens up ur place? u can on the lights 24/7?"

i shoot him back saying that's wat the tenants are doin now.. he said the following..

"i dun care.. if without them, we wont even have the money to pay our electrical bills!"

WTF?! of cos they have to pay AT LEAST the amount for the electrical bills la! they wash clothes like 4 - 5 times a day, bath for like an hour, dun turn off the heater and lights! he sides them cos they PAY~ pathetic prideless ass~

"i just want you to study hard"

thn why the fuck are u nagging about everything else?!?!?!?! you tink my school work is too relax?

"which guy is your boyfriend? dun be a slut that sleep with every guy you know"

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF?! can someone murder him for this pls?! when on earth i'm someone like this?! ok maybe cos everytime there's alot of guy-friends at my place.. but stil it's not right for him to think that way rite?! if i were to slp with any guy i noe, at least i would have gone on 1 by 1 not all at once?!?! and the basic is to lock the door isnt it?! but my door is always not locked!

and after i seriously raised my voice and shouted back at him, he kept quiet and change topic immediately.. ta ma de~ he explained that he saw me n my dearie hugging to slp few days back.. SO?! it's juz a hug to slp.. does he see me hugging everyone else to slp?! and isnt it obvious enough that the guy i hugged is my bf?! *faint*

i seriously dun understand why i have a father like this.. i'm not a child i repeat.. NOT a child anymore! i'm fucking 20 yr old and i noe how to think for myself! havent i been thru enough to learn wat life is??? havent i pass by the lowest point of my life by myself?? omg~ i seriously cant stand him.. can he or me just die?! X( i wan nothing to do with this asshole.. totally NOTHING~

if you murder him i'll be grant you any wish you wanted X(
my dad is dead..
i'm only left with my mum since i last remember..

the longest post ^^

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YAY~
i've updated my long long post XD

who knows when will it be?

just having some thots that got me al emo-ed up.. so decided to dump my emo-ness out here in my rubbish blog ^^ on the way home, i asked him this.. "why u so hong?" ok i noe it's a "WTF" kinda thing to ask.. but this question reali rings in my head and i guess it's the main thing that caused this insecurity in me.. he was a hongster (for sure).. but he said he's cutting down..

i cant help but to wonder.. why cut down? i mean.. why is it ONLY cutting down? hmm~ i noe i shud give him more time to reali cut OFF totally.. i'm not complaining! i'm juz.. ranting on my rubbish bloggy =x how long wil it take? or rather.. wil it actually be cut off? (i wonder) it definitely dun feel gd seeing the word "dear" on ur own bf's phone when the person that texted that is not u.. it certainly cant helped but made my mind wonder off in lalaland again even if i dun wish to..

trust.. need to be build.. trust.. is something VERY important in a r/s.. trust.. is al i need to make things work.. it's al that's needed to remove the insecurity in me.. i know i need to build that trust.. i need to get that ASAP before everything crumples down.. who'd help me along with the construction of that foundation of trust? will you..? it's weird how i can actually love him YET not trust him fully.. it's weird in fact.. how i can actually fall for a hongster or ex-hongster to begin with =\

i wish one day that i can proudly shout to the entire world that "he belongs to me ALONE" i wish one day i can trust him so much that even if were apart, i wont feel lonely.. this is al i wished for.. i tend to let my imagination run very wild.. i tend to make myself worry for nothing and i know i'm VERY famous for creating trouble between me n my bf over nothing.. yes i noe it's dumb when i noe yet i do it.. but i cant help it! :(

RAHHHHHHH~

dumb dumb iko~ dumb dumb me~
may the goddess of trust and security shines on me.. amen~

i'm a moodswing queen

i heart sank when something was received from him.. sigh~ he told me not to find him on his bday.. i mean.. can find but onli on phone n ways which does not include meeting up.. why? i have no idea :( sigh~ to me.. birthdays, festives, anniversaries etc.. are days which i wish to spend with the most special person in my life.. many of u wil noe.. birthdays to me are something NOT SMALL.. not small at all.. sigh~

i noe he have his own reasons.. he's stil not open enuff towards me.. the barrier is too big to overcome neither by him nor me.. this is wat i can feel.. this is wat i get from my ways of lookin at a person.. he maybe chirpy and always smiling ard me.. but i noe deep within.. things are definitely not wat i can see with my eyes.. i dun wanna ask much either even thou my heart's dying to know him more..

but thn again i ask myself.. did i reali 100% open myself to him? aha~ the ans i guess is no ba.. i'm stil not able to be the crazy lazy ugly (character wise) iko infront of him.. oh well.. i guess time is everything here.. maybe i shud open up my heart before he does.. maybe he'll never open his heart.. i dunno... i'm juz make a bet.. a 50/50 bet.. i'm sad.. i'm disappointed.. but oh well.. there's nothing i can do ya? if there is.. God~ pls tell me.. :(

al i wish for is pure transparency..
lost iko :(

It's been a long time~

this is weird but i gotta say.. it's been a long time since i last felt this way in a r/s.. yes! i'm in a whole new r/s ^^ fast? ya maybe.. iko always this fast.. it's not something i wished for either.. but those that understands, understands :) from the last r/s i had.. my heart felt so dead.. i did post a post about it and i dun wish to dwell on it anymore.. a whole new r/s a whole new me.. well maybe not exactly a new iko but stil i'm gonna start from zero..

i dun feel anything wrong except that this is moving slowly and i'm kinda not used to it.. but it's a VERY good thing after all ^^ this is the way it shud have been isnt it? XD WG had gotten too much of me and i've went so far that i tink i myself cant even catch up with my own pace =\ yes.. WG is a dangerous place.. so pls.. stay far from it.. onli ppl like me and a few frens who had been terribly trempled on and had been enlightened could stay in there for long..

anyway.. yup i'm indeed once again a blissful girl.. felt so blessed once again.. i noe i've always been against being in a r/s with someone younger (cos of previous ultra failed r/s) but this time i felt so different. so very different :) i felt so.. blessed and sweet ^^ this feeling brings me back to those super naive iko days XD it's not a bad thing thou ^^ something pure.. nice and sweet.. it's stil the beginning thou haha =x let's see what chapter this wil be ^^

211107
loving you..

madness in me~

recently have been in a super unstable mode =\ emo up emo down.. i guess my brain de system abit hay wired le =\ jiuming ar X( ytd had a GREAT cry XD it's been sooooo long since i last cried la haha~ (i mean cried til liddat) shiok~ while emo-ing this song rang in my head.. i know i post this song like 432769528375times in my blog before but i STILL wanna post it again =x the lyrics seriously hit me hard on the head and ring some words in me.. seriously there's alot to blog bout.. but i juz dun have the right mind to tink which keys i shud hit on my keyboard to make it a nice post.. so i decided to post again soon =x



Before i fall in love - coco lee

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
Am I just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true, could you really be

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know, before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now, before I fall in love

I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I want to take a chance
Please give me a reason to believe
Say, you're the one
That you'll always be

It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say..


confused..
emptied..
lost..
dead~

heartbreaks.

heart breaks after heart breaks. wat more can life be? why am i in this rotten life again? this sucks.. seriously.. why is it always girls the ones that suffers? does guys actually understand wat we're thinking? somehow i wish to leave this place.. leave this rotten place that's filled with heartbreaks. i dun deny there's beautiful memories here.. i dun deny there's wonderful frens here. and this is where i grew up.. but still.. it's far too rotten..

i wish to leave this place.. i wish to be away. maybe when i'm reali gone, ppl wil start to cherish me.. or maybe when i'm gone, no difference wil there be... i dunno.. i seems like nothing to everyone.. i seem like juz another soul surviving in this world.. another soul there to let ppl step al over me.. i felt so down.. so trampled by all.. so.. useless..

what difference do i made being in this world? why is the world so ugly? why is everything so surface? when wil i ever find someone that truly know me within and cherish me from within? i can be someone popular.. i can be someone everyone wants to get close to. but wat's the point when everyone does that surfacely? i dunno which is more important now.. i used to think as long i have a normal looking appearance with a beautiful heart.. that's enuff..

but the world seems so demanding now that my thots have changed.. shud i be more selfish and wants the best out of everything? or shud i stay the same iko that stays contented? i'm lost.. very lost..

i've turned my back on this world..

totally shattered..

my heart was stabbed to death on 21st october 2007. sometimes i wish i was the blur and stupid type that always dun wanna find out truths. truths' out, promises broken. i remained nice even when we broke up.. wat do i get back? fuck up attitudes.. he say he treat al his frens with that kind of attitude? laugh-my-ass-off!! ppl ard us with eyes al can see what's the difference. everyone knows.. no one's siding whoever..

even if he reali treats al his frens liddat.. al i can say is.. i pity his frens.. i can be witness.. that his frens mostly are very nice ppl. and by being such a nice fren, they get this kinda attitude from him?! oh-my-god.. how unlucky.. i've already been thru it this few days/weeks.. i've seen the true colours of one person i used to love so much. it's so scary.. seriously scary.. i seem like i never known this guy at all.. why?! he told me this is the real him.. omfg~ spare me the shock pls.

haven i been nice enuff? i've always worried for his everything.. those who're close knows everything.. i dun wanna say here.. it's nothing nice anyway.. i give up.. i dun wanna be a toy anymore.. no longer a puppet with a nice and soft heart.. no more~ since things are liddta now.. i shall be someone u guys never know.. iko's dead.. the jeremy i used to loved is dead.. i dun recognise him anymore.. and i shall bury al the memories we had and never touch them again.

i admit there's stil abit of unbearingness in me to let go.. i thot we had a chance to be tgt again one fine day. i thot.. now it's al shattered.. dun wry.. i cried cos i juz had a tripped on a rock.. i injured myself.. the wound's deep.. and they juz rubbed salt into it.. i wil recover soon.. very very soon.. nothing can bring me down. i shall live my new life once again.. i shall be a hppy girl once again. i wont ever ever cry for useless things again..

i will move on..
i dun need u..
get lost..

放开手

把回忆封锁在遥远的地带 提起勇气去面对新的未来
已不能做什么 只能交给命运去安排 可能有些事我们都看不开

为什么要失去才懂得珍惜 后悔却压抑不了倔强的心
心灵那么接近却又不近 被误解隔离 能否找一个方式说对不起

放开手要迎接新的未来 可怜的我却还是依赖
你的爱我永远不忘怀 共度的日子锁在脑海
最后演变成相互伤害 相信我们彼此都感慨 感情变质了默契却还在

说不出口的悲哀 不愿离开 一个人独自承受快乐悲哀
已不能做什么 只能交给命运去安排 可能最终注定我们要分开

。。。

=(

***maybe one day i reali have to let go***

the end of another chapter of my life...

4months 7days.. that's how long this chapter lasted. everything was well and fine but i realise that we're too overly close. which made me felt like a old married hag. yes.. it maybe sweet and nice in the first place to see each other for 24/7. it maybe the most wonderful thing everyone thought it couple happen to a couple. but al i can say is.. it doesnt last.

i felt so tied up even thou he gave me so much freedom. i felt so controlled even thou he didnt at all. why?! i dunno. i'm someone who needs freedom. LOTS of freedom and solid freedom. i dun have freedom at al in games. i'm afraid of this and that. afraid that i go for sch or dance, he'll be lonely. afraid that i'll leave him alone when in big groups as i love being ard my frens. i've lost myself within this short 4months+. i no longer have any frens except that few.

mum nags alot today bout this incident. but wat i can say is.. her words are like a big hammer that hits on my head. they makes lotsa sense. life is not about love.. be realistic.. love dun let us survive. we need to work, school, money, frens, privacy, family etc. love is a bonus. i totally agree with this. the once always emo about love issue iko is long gone. al i wan is a balance r/s. i'm no longer the little girl that needs 24hr of attention. i'm no longer the type that sticks to my bf every single sec.

i dreams for a life whereby my bf goes to work, i goes to school.. we meet often but not everyday. we know each other's frens but stil have own's fren. we goes out on our individual outings and have fun individually. a sweet sms or call whenever we miss each other and 100% trust and understanding. hard? i guess so.. after soooo many chapters have passed.. i cant seem to find even one that's close. not at all...

it hurts me too to be cruel to not giving him another chance.. but still.. watever he said earlier had pierced rite thru.. watever mum said, rubbed salt into my wound. i felt the pain.. so pain that i dunno how to go on anymore.. watever we agreed on before, was not fulfilled.. to leave each other alone in game and not be unhappy no matter wat happen in games. he failed.. he didnt show it, i appreciate.. but i definitely could tell something's wrong.. seeing him unhappy doesnt make me happy at all.. and i mean AT ALL =\

i suggested.. since we're both so unhappy with one another.. we shall just be frens.. both wil be very unhappy since we're stil in love.. but i guess it's the best way to stop the pain for the time being and make sure it's reali LOVE before anything else goes on. i noe i'm VERY playful now still.. i noe i wan LOTSA LOTSA freedom.. so i better stay out of r/s to prevent making more ppl unhappy. i stil believe in this sentence.. what's meant to be, will be.. if we're reali meant for one another, i believe we break up 215641498124721times also stil wil be tgt in the end.

my mind's in a big blanko now.. we shall leave it to fate than.. i feel numb.. very numb..

fading away..

X(

recently met a few new friends online (in audition). it feels good to have new frens and especially frens of my own after such a long time. if u al realise.. i've long lost contact with al my own frens.. al haven been contacting each other for like 374624823423years =\ i admit.. i them.. sii, emi, jyun, shir, al my VIP-mates.. lushians.. hais..

the other day, nikz ask me when am i goin back to dance.. gd question.. i wish to go back too!! but how?! X( i've lost al the confidence in me and i dun even have the slightest motivation to go.. sigh~ dancing online is something i can do now.. sometimes i wonder.. am i forgotten by everyone?

few days ago had a nice long chat with dar.. and i told him watever i felt.. bout how i wish i have my own frens.. i'm glad he understands (even thou he's not very happy with it).. and just when everything gets peaceful and i hunts for my new frens, some b*tch came into the pic X( it's been LONG since i met this kinda person.. i ask al of u one thing.. can u tolerate a girl who is EXTREME AA (attract attention) ? tmd~ i reali had enuff of her sia..

i wont say is who but those who noe me VERY well.. knows who it is.. watever i have, she wans.. i say this is not cos i'm bias against her or watever.. but it's just the fact! can u imagine whoever i PM in game, she go PM them and say lotsa bullsh*t?! can u imagine wherever i go, she come and make me felt so transparent?! ya she's a pro.. she's prettier, she's rich.. SO WAT?! do i even care?! aiya seriously saying.. if she wants al those.. take it la.. i'm not as desparate as her in need of attention.. but i juz cant stand my fren liddat.. u call urself my fren.. yet u're doin this kind of thing? snatching away watever i have? so be it.. dun call urself my fren anymore..

i noe i'm VERY childish ranting bout such stuff here in my dumb blog.. but i juz cant find any other way to rant my anger out X( i noe i'm childish to get angry over this minor thing.. but.. can i just be childish for once?! i'm human too.. i need my frens too.. i dun like the feeling of being "covered" too.. for once.. let me be a child..

i wish i never had a fren like u..

>.<

recently met a few new friends online (in audition). it feels good to have new frens and especially frens of my own after such a long time. if u al realise.. i've long lost contact with al my own frens.. al haven been contacting each other for like 374624823423years =\ i admit.. i them.. sii, emi, jyun, shir, al my VIP-mates.. lushians.. hais..

the other day, nikz ask me when am i goin back to dance.. gd question.. i wish to go back too!! but how?! >.<>.<>.<>.< size="1">i wish i never had a fren like u..

Goodbye girlgirl~ <3

The only comforting thing I've found about losing a pet, personally, is that it is a transition from "keeping a promise" (when you first bring them home) to "promise kept". I know this idea has comforted more than a few people, and it is the only way I found to deal with some of the losses I've had. There's some satisfaction or general sense of "I done good" about "promise kept". May those of you needing comfort find some in those words.

-Dave Fisher

my girlgirl left us this morning peacefully. i gave her her last bath last night and fed her her last meal. she had her last walk around the house and her last view of her dearest companion boyboy. the time she had with us wasnt long but the happiness she gave us were abundant. from the first day i saw her at the pet shop, dearie, cal, dan gor and me fell in love with her. she's a beauty she's a sweet. i wil always remember her lazy eyes and her lazy legs. she's gentle as silk and she's never playful. her fur were white as snow with short ears and a tiny greyish tail which makes her very adorable.

she always dirty the fur around her mouth when she nibble on her carrot. it makes us headache at first. i always ask "aiyo.. when wil you grow up and learn to clean urself??" now i noe.. the answer is "never". she's a dear.. she's so lovely that you'll wish to take care of her forever. boyboy takes care of her too.. but at times, her bullies her esp when it comes to carrot. oh well.. boy doesnt grieve as much as dearie and me do. maybe it's a gd thing that boy is stil young at least not much of a heartbreak to him.

i was terribly sadden by the news of girl's departure. in class, i couldnt concentrate. al i think of is her and the beautiful short days we had. the day to sembawang for crabby. the next day i bathe her and boy and let them run ard the house. the day i saw her fur filthy with her pee and bathe her immediately. the day boy and her snatched carrot with each other. i miss girl so much =( well i guess times' up for her.. may she be in peace and remembered by all that knew her..

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand on my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.

*take care girl..
i love you. daddy too..

woots.. it's been LONG since i last update XD anyway 2 new pictures for my new look ^^ cut my hair myself and hopefully it does looks much better ^^ stupid takashi say i look like 7th month "gd brothers" IDIOT >.< nvm.. others says nice can le =P been getting abit more thn usually "hiao" recently lol =X i'm growing up! XD need to work alittle bit harder on my diet.. am getting fatter le X( anyway love the addition to my family lots ^^ introducing my daughter to all <3




my dearest daughter~ ball ball XD cute rite?!?!?!?! XD <3333333

"Happy" 20th to me..

4 more hrs and it's the end of my lousy birthday (thank god) every year i wish and look forward to nice parties or gatherings with frens or family or even bf.. this yr, the same.. BUT the difference here is.. this yr simply SUCKS! 16th july.. a date i always look forward to and LOVED! but somehow i wish this day never come this yr =( simply because everything just sucks..

how did i spend my birthday? at jer's place MAPLE best of all ALONE! (how nice) was honestly having a bad bad bad day.. gave him quite a few attitudes today some reasons are personal la so not nice to say here.. other thn that it's purely boredom plus boredom.. everyday same thing.. this life CANNOT go on! my special day became one of the lousiest day of my life.. DAMN! and for some unknown reason i dun reali look forward to the MNL july babies BBQ =\

just feel that nothing good wil turn out again.. or rather i dun wish to put too high hopes again and get crashed like today =\ this yr VERY special thing is i have no cake (sigh) it used to be a MUST and tradition when i was with the clovers.. but this yr is the first time i'm celebrating without them =( and ya everything just feel so wrong =( i dun have my fren surrounding me.. my bf is slping away.. my mum doesnt give me anything not even a nice dinner..

so wat if my dad gave me 300bucks? so wat if everyone wished me "happy birthday"? i aint happy at all.. i repeat.. AT ALL!!! X( i bet this yr's birthday id gonna be the MOST NON-memorialble one for me.. it's the first time i'm holding the age of a 2+ but yet it wasnt at all a happy one.. everyone had their memorialble big 20 birthday.. i didnt.. oh well maybe birthday isnt anything special at all.. why should i hold it so hard to me?

it's just another day that signifies my coming to this earth.. thats all.. wat's so special? haha~ i started my birthday with sadness.. and ended it with sadness too.. or rather.. loneliness.. my jer's always here.. but stil i feel VERY lonely.. i dun wish to end it with tears.. but stil it's rolling.. i always ask myself wat i wan for my birthday every year.. but this yr it's empty.. i just wish for a big get-around with my frens.. my bf.. my family.. i dun need any big parties or luxurious celebration.. just a small cake and a song? that's al?

this yr.. no cake.. means no candles.. no candles means no blowing of candles.. no blowing of candles means no birthday wish.. sigh.. wat's the point of wishing.. every year, my wish is the same.. but it never came true.. i guess i'm just too attention seeking.. sigh~ well i just ask for abit more attention on this day.. is it wrong? is it too much? sigh~ it seems like a quiet birthday this yr.. obviously i'm stil trying to announce to the world that "it's my birthday!!!" but still.. seems like none cares.. the MNL BBQ is like got head no tail.. my celebration at pub wasnt really nice.. nothing's good basically..

for the whole day.. i've been holding back my tears.. trying to act silly or be stupid infront of jer.. but within, i cant take it.. everytime i tink of the date today.. it just brings tears.. i tink of the past celebrations, it brings tears.. sigh~ sometimes.. i dun wish to grow up..

oh well..
happy birthday iko..

Meow Meow~

many will be surprised by this title as iko obviously and am famous for disliking cats.. but this time i got a kitty.. YA! iko got a kitty XD but onli for a day =( why? thanks to my fcuk up mum AGAIN! i swear i hate her! cb! it's like the first time i actually like cats and first time a cat likes me (i guess so) but damn my mum! i curse al the fcukers who dislike animals go to hell! fcuking cb!

how did i get this kitty? it was on 13th july midnite, me and dearie and calvin went to penninsula to lan.. thn while smoking, this kitty happened to be there.. and for some funny but unknown reason, it seems to love dearie =.= so i bought a packet of milk for it.. and i thot of bringing it home.. but thn we stil gotta lan.. so i said if when we going home that time she's stil here thn bring home.. (fate ma rite?)

and yes.. we came out while walking to take a train, we saw her again XD so of cos like wat i've said, i brought her home.. first to dearie's place (that's the initial plan) but so happened that kitty doesnt like big cats (i have no idea why) and according to dearie's mum that she(kitty) dun even dare to eat, pee, poo =.= (how nice ya?) so bobian, we brought her to my home.. thot mum would let me keep it but.. argh fcuk her! >=(

it was til like minutes ago thn mum found out bout her as she just came home.. kitty was in my bathroom while me and dearie's out to my bday celebration at BQ.. when we came home, OH MY GOD~ my bathroom seems like a war aftermath =.= wat else could it be.. everything was fine til mum gets home.. (dun feel like saying much.. go imagine urself) so no choice, kitty's out of my place T.T hais.. juz hope can see her again ba..





*ugly me but who cares.. i juz love kitty



*goodbye meowmeow*
=(

i was juz informed that there's a remix competition and I'M INVOLVE!!!! XD i'm soooooooo happy la!!! when fil ask me i was wondering should i join ornt lol =X cos competition very scary =\ i scared i'll pull down the team.. somemore i so long nv dance le =( but still i decided to give it a shot ^^ the finals is on 28th july.. and during the whole of july, we have a LONG list of dates for rehearsals, stylings, buskings and funnily there's home vist o.O lol!! i see the list i shock lol =X take a look at it ba ^^

Finalists Rehearsals dates for Remix finals

July 6pm onwards

1 - sunday
6 - friday
7 - saturday
13 - friday
14 - saturday
15 - sunday
19 - thursday
20 - friday
21 - saturday
22 - sunday
24 - tuesday
25 - wednesday
26 - thursday
27 - friday
28 - saturday (BIG DAY!!)

looking at the dates i dunno how am i gonna die lol =X my poor things bf is gonna be ggddsll again le.. =X wondering wat is ggddsll? it means 孤孤单单酸溜溜(gu gu dan dan suan liu liu) lol =X but hopefully dearie will be more understandin ba =) wish me luck for this event ^^ <3

it's been long since i hit a few keys here.. just to update those who reads my blog to get themselves updated bout me.. for the past few weeks, i've been a very happy girl.. like ive said bout me meeting a few biker frens who bring me go round and round.. indeed it was a good experience.. and for ur info.. i'm attached to one of them.. aka jeremy.. he's someone that i swear i can never let down.. he treats me so well that even me myself am convinced that good guy stil exists.. it's been about 2 weeks since we've been together.. honestly.. for the past 2 weeks or so, i've been a VERY happy girl..

being with him made me realise wat's the real true love.. being with him honestly made me know wat it means by "accepting the one u love FULLY" when i go crazy, he stil loves me.. when i get my bad temper,he stil accepts me.. when i get ugly/get fat, he stil loves me.. wat else can i ask for? this is definitely more thn enuff for a bf.. i can never ask for more.. he never throw his temper at me and he never made me feel unhappy.. the only problem here is that i stil misses K.. i dun wish to.. but wat else can i do? =( i honestly had tried my best to forget everything bout us.. i've spent everyday, every hour, every min with jer and honestly, i'm happy being that way..

the only thing that i'm afraid of is that when one day i faced K i'll get all F-king emo and al the emo nonsense wil strike back.. and KNN it does!!!! ARGH~ today.. jovi celebrated his bday at VD.. and just as i've thot that K wil be there =.= and yeap.. he's there.. *sigh* before goin to VD, i was thinking bout wat the hell wil happen when we meet.. wat the hell wil he say when we meet.. honestly if he didnt say things regarding us, i wil stil be able to control my emo-ness and keep everything in control.. but it was til he said something regarding us, i broke down..

i couldnt face anyone at that point of time and thank god sueann's there.. so obviously she knew wat happened and she hugged me tight and there i cried.. i wasnt crying for the sake of K nor jer.. i was just plainly lost and didnt know wat the F am i doin.. thus the tears rolled.. roy asked me to think carefully who treats me better and who suits me more.. the answer i gave was honestly cruel and straight in the face.. of cos.. i chose jer.. in the first place, i never felt in the same "league" as K :( our family background, our thinking, our brought up etc.. are all DIFFERENT!! =\ we're way too different.. thus the frequent communication breakdown occurs..

the reason for the breakdown today has alot! i swear.. firstly.. my ex-best fren couldnt recognised me.. or rather.. she did but didnt bother to even say a "HI" :( secondly, my dearest darling fairy aint feeling anywhere near good (P&C), thirdly, the meeting of him =\ and lastly.. I GOT NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!!!! X( thus al these plus tgt = ULTIMATE BREAKDOWN OF IKO =\ *sigh*

i reali dunno wat else to say now to either of them.. the only thing i can say to K is that u didnt cherish me while u could and for my character and own philosophy, i know that i will not turn back to ppl who didnt heed my advice and get the hint i left.. i gave u alot of chance.. but u just didnt cherish them and at the same time, i got tired.. i choose to leave.. who knows whether i wil regret leaving ornt.. but honestly.. i didnt wish to care anymore.. it's far too tiring having to act someone that i'm not and it's far too tiring to keep trying to maintain the r/s with ALL i have.. like i've said before.. i'm a girl and i need to be loved more thn i love.. how could i take it when i'm the one who always try to give in to u?!

i'm sorry.. i've left.. thanks for al the nice memories we've once shared and here wish u all the best.. we could stil be frens once again unless u chose not to.. it was nice meeting u again but next time pls dun drink so much again.. u shud noe ur own limit and u shud stay far away from ur limit.. dun make ppl who cares for u worry.. take care of urself and all the best =)

and as for myself, i know i wil be stronger that ever and stand up for myself.. no worries ppl.. all i wish now is to get back to my dance, my studies, my stupid PP and of cos may my r/s be smooth sailing.. oh not forgetting, my online audition =XXX recently am DAMN into it AGAIN =X hehe~ wish me al the best in everything i wish to put my time into yea? *smiles*

the pain in me
no one understands..
*sigh*

ahh~ it's been awhile since i last blogged.. anyway it's been a rather struggling week for me =\ things weren't going as fine as it seems thou.. recently, i've been trying to psycho myself, brainwashing to make myself awake.. it's really tiring and i really am breaking down.. the last weekend was another drunkard weekend i had *sigh for thurs, hugo boss.. alrite it's juz another event where iko's jumping ard saying hi doing PR, actin happy =\

everyone ask me "where's ur boi?" =\ al i said was "dunno".. i myself dun even noe wat things are like now.. hanging there as if selling some chicken or duck.. it feels terrible.. utterly terrible =\ *sigh i wish to be the true happy me once again.. i wish to stand up on myself once again.. nothing to bring me down, nothing to come in my way.. it's hard, i know.. but i can do it and i wil do it..

recently have met these biker gang.. seriously it's my first time moving in high speed on a expressway for the past 20 bloody yrs.. i swear.. it felt so good that it's out of this world! but once again my vespa dream came back =X and i saw this vespa it's a beauty i swear! now i'm struggling to take bike license or car =( car wil definitely be a better choice but it's like firstly so ex, secondly i like the comfort in car but i love the excitement in bikes! how?! =(

but recently after so much thinking and killing of brain cells, i've realised and finally wake up to something in life.. i realise that ppl always say "humans are selfish, we live for our own and nothing else.." this is VERY true! ppl ard me, al seem so far away now.. sii is one of them =( i'm not saying she's selfish but indeed she's surviving for her own.. i miss her so much =( hope she's doin fine..

HIM is also another case.. someone can throe ur loved ones al alone outside a club for bloody 28bucks and someone that can ignore their loved ones for like an entire day without a single call or sms.. sometimes i wonder.. does he actually really truly noe wat is love??? and have he EVER EVER EVER been in love??? o.O i reali wonder.. does he noe wat's the responsibility of a bf? and does he noe wat exactly is a r/s???

sigh~ it seems that every individual is different is indeed true.. different per spective, different goals, different way of handling things.. and sorry but honestly, his way of handling things makes me sick at times.. i mean MOST of the time.. i hate ppl who leave things as it is, dun solve them and simply keep running.. ket's see how long can they run.. "u can run but u can never hide" a nice sentence that's well known by everyone..

jovi brainwashed me few days back.. i felt much better.. indeed.. yes, we dun need a guy/girl now.. life is all about being happy.. why care the rest? =) i just wanna be hapy and be myself.. maybe one day i'll be tamed.. maybe one day i wil truly be ME yet someone that's accepted by the one i love.. i honestly hate it when someone tries to control over me.. i had enough of those.. i never felt guilty before cos i noe i'm not a slut that touches guy or let them touch me..

i noe myself very well that i'm not someone that kiss everyone i noe.. i'm not the type of girl that hook guys in clubs.. i club, to dance.. to enjoy my fren's accompany.. to de-stress.. but if the guy of my life cant seem to understand and accept that, i'm sorry i guess i'm not yours.. i'm a human.. a girl that needs love and acceptance.. not a pet or property to be controlled over.. after one of my past incident, i'm already VERY afraid of such cases.. i cant let myself fall into any of these.. cos i noe the consequences wil be just making the devil in me goin more wild.. there's such thing as backfired =)

so one last words to al guys out there.. either u accept and cherish wat u have now, or regret later.. one of my fren told me "ignore him la.. he wil ask u to go back to him once u leave him.. guys are all like that haha" he himself is a guy.. but he can say such things.. and i guess it's all been proven haha! well guys.. cherish the girl u have now.. dun regret when it's too late.. *smiles*

whee~ everything's rather peaceful this week *thank god* hmm just feel like hitting a few keys here on the keyboard t udate abit bout wat had happened this week ba.. for the weekdays obviously i'm stuck in that republic prison =( after sch, either i'll be hoe ZzZz or i'll be meeting fairy at AMK to chill =) it feels gd seeing the girls la.. her lynette.. so happy ^^ was a short session but stil very happy..

AMK's my new hangout already lol~ it's near, cheap and of cos got khaki like fairy and lynette.. muehehe~ oh and few days back got my hair dyed red ^^ wheee~ nothing new but i stil love my red hair hehe~ and i cut my fringe myself again hehe~ now i look so funny -.- sueann say got difference lei but phoebe say i might as well dun cut T_T damn sad.. but nvm i dun wan too short also lol =X

hmm things were peaceful between me and him too *a BIG thank god* my heart very weak liao lol~ cannot take blows le lol!! and i've of cos cut down alot on WG le.. hmm.. webby sometimes also lazy go in talk.. bitching also reply when i feel like it.. forum, go in get myself updated onli.. guess one day i'll totally cut off from WG le ba.. no idea also.. it's hard.. cos they were like family to me.. for my long holiday, i've spent every single day with them lei! and they really took very good care of me that time =)

it was my happiest and saddest holiday thou lol~ sad cos it's too messed up =\ but happy cos i met alot of nice ppl.. ytd i was tinking.. is it gd to get a r/s from WG or is it bad? why i say that? here's how it goes..

good
cos at least the circle of frens are al the same.. we al noe one another and easier to trust that way.. WG maybe a "not so clean" place but if u noe who to choose to hang out with i believe it isnt that bad afterall =)

bad
WG r/s i've seen too many TOOOOOO many!!! and NONE are long term.. =\ i guess is cos they rush into r/s too fast ba.. like i've said.. after being in WG for half a yr, even myself am used to the rushing of things =\ so now thank god i foud him and he's keeping my pace down =) WG have too many temptations inside them.. girls that are sluts that goes after attached guys, guys trying to make couples break up.. al these i've seen it all =\

so is it a gd or bad thing to have a r/s within WG? for me i tink it's a NONONONO! haha~ i rather get someone from non WG, slowly build the trust, thn to get someone in WG that has a short r/s lifespan.. lol~ so anyway.. i'm sick and tired of quarrels and fights in the bgr side.. so watever that's gonna happen i'm not gonna deal with it the way i dealt with in the past le =) someone gotta give in.. i chose to give in most of the time nw.. but who knows? i might explode inside haha~ when i explode, i guess nothing can bring me back =)

it feels good being in ur arms
it feels good when u come for me
it feels good when things are peaceful..
we need to trust more..

honestly i'm tired.. very tired of everything.. i'm so tired that i chose to give up and walk away since he doesnt even wanna do anything about it.. i guess sometimes human gets tired too.. i'm not a supergirl.. i'm not a superwoman.. i'm really tired of everything.. al the hanging there and wild imagination.. my brain can no longer take anything like that anymore.. i feel so.. drained.. like i told them.. someone ask me whether is this really the end? i say i guess so.. i really feels like giving up and walk away.. i feel he's drifting away from me.. when we were at BF, he's juz standing beside me.. but i feel he's so far away... we're like so near yet so far..

now this later that.. my heart's cant be as strong as any other girls can be.. everytime i wish he's here he isnt.. i told someone i dun even feel loved at all.. sometimes i wonder.. was i even in the same league as him? are we living in the same world? things changed so much since we first met.. and it had onli been about a month or so.. i'm kinda seeing history repeating itself.. some history that i never wanna have again.. i dunno how to go on.. how to move on?

i dun wanna be the emo iko again.. i dun wanna sulk my life away again.. i wanna climb out of the well of emo and i never wanna be sad again.. J had helped me get out of it once.. i know i can do it! i'm born a emo girl.. yes indeed.. but i know al need to do is to tell myself "love is not everything" i've been telling myself these kinda stuff few days back as i got a damn feeling i'm losing him soon.. this time.. i wont be silly enough to hurt myself again.. i wil choose to walk away before he does.. since i cant give him wat he wans, and watever i do doesnt reali helps.. i guess i'll let go..

someone told me.. it'll be his damn lost if he lost me.. oh well.. maybe.. but to him if he doesnt noe how to cherish me than so be it.. i wan someone that cherishes me as much as i cherishes them.. i wan someone that trust me and loves me.. i need someone that holds my hand and guide me along my path of darkness.. i need someone that never give up on me.. bring back my smile and keep it there..

i guess i've done al i can to keep this going.. watever he doesnt like i stop.. i chose to do everything i can for him.. i chose to do everything i can to help this r/s grow.. but i alone cant make anything work.. i alone cant do everything.. he need to work along with me.. is he willing? i dunno..

when things are meant to be they'll be
i hate to lose u
but if it's not meant to be
i'll let go..

am not reali in any mood to talk bout anything anymore.. sigh~ i cant stop imagining things.. seems like things are slowly getting out of hand and i cant seem to take control too.. i guess i'll be on my own and juz be myself for once.. i need to get back my life and be who i truly am.. i've lost myself far too much and have lost my own life.. for now.. i juz wanna keep on dancing and studying.. get busy and forget anything else that shouldnt affect me too much.. if they doesnt noe how to cherish me, so be it..

i dun need a guy who can have so many other girls in their heart.. i dun need a guy who makes empty promises and i dun need a guy who doesnt noe how to love me and dote on me the way i need.. someone told me that i've been lowering myself far too much and overly pampering him.. i guess that someone's right.. i shouldnt go on that way.. i'm a girl that needs to be love and dote on.. no the other way round..

i need a gentleman.. i need a man.. i need a sensitive guy that understands me well and give me the security i need.. i dun need a little boy that dun even noe when i'm feelin down and i dun need someone that come to me onli when i needed them.. so for now.. i shall keep shut and see wat things are gonna turn out like.. anyway.. events.. watch out for the last event on this list.. cos i'll be performing~ thanks

PARADIZE @ Del Mar

Date: 15th May 2007 (tues)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Cafe del mar
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 30

note: those with ticket presented
while entry, will be entitles to 1-for-

1 on all housepour and beers from 9pm -
11pm!

--------------------------------------

Tertiary Fling (UNI edition)

Date: 10th May 2007 (thurs)
Time: doors open at 9pm
(free entry with tix from 9pm - 11pm)
Venue: MOS
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 34
--------------------------------------

KONVICTED!
an event by planne kayos in
collabaration with whosgoing.sg

time for some party people ^^

Date: 30th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 8pm til late
Venue: Fort gate, fort canning park
Price: $20 (pre-sale) $23 (door)
Tickets left on hand: 20
--------------------------------------

Back to Baggies
A party u cant miss!
Free VIP membership @ Butter factory to be given away
and catch the performance of
LUSH, The cartelz and Trivalation!

Date: 9th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Butter Factory (clarke quay)
Price: Guys ($15) Ladies (Free)
P/s: guys with the black card can enter free and i might be able to help i said MIGHT =X
i got no ticket but still pls pls go and support!!! ^^

HA~HA~HA!

why am i laughing? because i feel that i'm reali super dumb and stupid at times.. no i mean ALL the time.. haha! i actually feel sad for him and am thinking that he REALLY wil change for me.. and worst is i even thot of going back to him! how dumb am i?!?!?! i've finally trust this saying "a leopard never change it's spot" so i am stil glad i chose and force myself to move on.. i wil not turn my head back anymore.. i had enough of all the cheating and sweet talking.. but watever it is i thank god he's out of my life.. dun tell me u stil like me and wan me.. dun tell me u miss me when u can call other girls all the way from taiwan! dun tell me u wish to see me and dun ever say u love me still.. u're juz someone that wants me as a spare tyre.. juz someone that u can toy with whenever u're lonely.. i hate u! stop lying to me anymore.. i wont take in ur sweet honeyed words anymore..!

to trust i'm so dumb..
haha!

it juz hurts so much when truth smacks in ur face.. when i chose to trust him when i chose to let go and dive in this love once again.. ugly truths shows.. disappointed, lost, confuse, speechless is my reaction when i see those ugly truths with my own eyes.. indeed, this kinda things did happen to me before but i didnt get it rite infront of my face and i didnt have to deal with it.. why? because i was stupid enough to keep quiet bout it and juz slowly being treated like a fool..

but now.. iko's no longer stupid.. i promise not to let myself get hurt again.. never to.. i chose to stand up for wat i wan.. i chose to stand up for myself and not to run and hide and cry in my own lil closet.. at least now i cry out loud.. even if it's to myself, i'm glad i stood up for myself.. al the confrontations might make me lose him.. al the confrontation might juz end everything within today.. but stil, i chose it.. because i noe wat's meant to be, wil be..

i noe he did try to apologise and make me feel better this few days.. but the incident juz keep haunting me.. i haven been myself after that happened.. when we were at the ktv, the song "i dun wanna fight no more" reali hit me.. i honestly truly, dun wanna fight anymore.. be it whichever way u're lookin at it.. be it fight as in quarrels, or fight as in fighting my own struggles of the insecurity in me.. i'm tired.. i'm drained.. i wan to be love.. i dun wanna get hurt..

i'm someone with not much patience when kept hanging there.. i've always been silly enuff to wait and wait.. things always ended up in vain.. so i promise myself not to let myself down again.. i noe i'm selfish.. but why cant i? i've never love myself in my past 19 yrs.. from now on, i chose to love myself.. even if i dunno how to, but stil i'll learn.. i hate to lose him.. i hate to fight with him.. but sometimes when things goes reali wrong, i have no other choice i guess.. if i could i wish i could understand him alot more.. but wat else can i do? he's not opening his heart to me at all..

i wish to talk to him too.. some nice heart to heart talk.. but how?? his closeness of the dorrs of his heart, made me cant seem to open mine too.. i have soooooooo much to say to him.. but how?! :( i thot he's someone i can reali count on.. i thot he's someone i truly can slowly place my heart in.. but that incident brought down my trust for him way too much.. i wish to trust him again.. i wish to ignore that incident.. but i guess it's too hard for me :(

ya.. maybe some of u esp him, might tink that it's no big deal.. but wat if it happens the other way round? if i'm the one in his position and he's in mine.. i bet things might be worst.. his ego would have blew everything out.. i have my ego too.. i noe i've always been nice and calm bout things.. but i too have my ego.. i juz chose to hide them when it's not neccessary.. but stil the old saying, i cant accept my other half to betray me.. i cant except my other half to have other girls in their heart and mind other thn me.. likewise.. i cant allow myself to have more thn 1 guy in my heart n mind too..

so wat am i gonna do? i dunno.. i reali dunno.. i feel strengthless to move on.. i feel strengthless to deal with anymore blows.. i've been crying alot lately.. and i mean alot :( he's reali affecting my life and yes i'm very into him.. but i would not force anything anymore.. i wont beg him to stay if he choose to leave.. and i wont tie him down if he chooses freedom.. if he want me, he'll do everything to get me.. if he doesnt, it juz shows he doesnt wan me enuff.. i admit days with him are happy.. he made me felt loved and he cared.. he search for me when i go missing and his hugs are truly warm..

yes it's wat i wan.. but if he cant make me the onli one, i guess i wont wanna be involve in it anymore.. i dun wanna fall deeper and get myself hurt al over once more.. yes i'm already very hurt by now that the fact things are now.. how do i give us another chance? how do i trust him again? :( i reali dunno..

it's juz gonna be another nite
that my tears burn thru the pillow
crying in my own corner
suffering al alone..

hmm juz decided to blog abit here to update bout my stupid lifeless life -.-

ytd went to butter fac for uniform fetish 2.. it was better thn uniform fetish 1 thou.. the previous one i didnt wear uniform so this one i'm in ^^ i swear i'll never wear a sweater to club ever again!!! X( damn hot la! !@#$%^& but it was fun thou.. tink everyone was kinda shock cos i seldom wear til so "wrapped up" to club lol!!! overly wrapped up i guess =X

anyway ytd was simply a bad bad day =\ infact.. i dunno why but felt that this few days are kinda bad =\ keep having lil tiff with him and ytd wasnt any day better =\ we had abit of miscommunication and sensitivity issue.. was kinda a bad one thou.. felt very hurt by the things said by him.. but ya things turn fine after awhile =) (thank god!) so we had LJS thn head to BF..

i swear it's FARRRR from the train station la!!! idiot.. dunno who stil bluff me say very near! @#$%^&* when at BF, i swear there VERY little ppl -.- but ok la.. once awhile no need entertain so many ppl also gd =X hang ard with gab, bubbles, charlene.. hmm.. james and mich was ard.. shawn n darren run in and out.. alan's there too.. intro al of them to sweets ^^ and seems that shawn n him get along well ehh lol~ with their c-walking talks -.-

hopefully he didnt felt sian ba.. cos i drag him there.. without roy somemore lol~ *he and roy are inseparable!* =X but it definitely felt gd that he's ard ^^ wanted to go home at 12plus BUT as usual lol =X ended up home at 3am heee~ so that explains why i didnt go sch today AGAIN =X muehehe~ okok promise wil cut down on pons =X anyway today's lesson i CONFIRM can pass one so no nid worry hee =X butttttt! today's on dance! and i skip it! omg! i deserve to be shot in the head! X(

so i spend my entire day at home pokemon-ing ^^ for some funny reason, the episodes i watch today are all emo emo one! -.- made me waste so many tears sia !@#$%^&* oh ya! speaking of tears! i woke up today IN TEARS! nabei! damn scary can! i got nitemare.. after so long nv had nitemare ytd nite kana! wth sia~ i dreamt that i was involve in some case again and i was caught and the scene of me being charge on court, the moment i wait for my sentence.. the scene all flashes back sia!

in my dreams i reali cried and regretted MUCH more thn it was last time in the reality.. and it juz felt so real! i woke up tinking "omg thank god it's juz a dream!" it seriously was very very very real =\ i was very scared when i woke up, i hugged whiskers damn damn tight.. and first thing i do i sms him and tell him bout it =\ damn jialat.. so i told myself i'm gonna be a gd girl today whole day at home =X i did the laundry, clean my room, did my nails, clear the dishes and cooked dinner <-YES COOKED DINNER!! lol =X cant imagine iko cook rite!!! but mummy love it!!! but i dun reali love them lol =X

it felt gd lei.. feels like a housewife lol =X damn funny.. first time so aunty yet felt gd lol.. anyway i cooked fried sotong, fried some mince meat egg and some prawn hehe~ but i stil prefer maggie mee =X ok la.. once in awhile must torture mummy's appetite keke =X ok and that's bout my day ba.. am now rotting online as WG's down -.- and my pokemon haven dl finish *faint* tml's mos nite!!!! wheeeeeee~ i simply LOVEEEEEEE weekends! XD

i like it when u're so sweet ^^
but the lock to my heart is stil unlocked
the chains are tangled up
are u the one that's able to release them?
i dunno..

see how bored am i in class ZzZzz..

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time... As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

You Are A Woman!

Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

You Lack Confidence

You're not so sure of yourself - and it shows more than you think Your lack of confidence affects your friendships, career, and romantic life People know that they can take advantage of you, because you won't stand up to them Start realizing that you're great the way you are, and almost everything in your life will improve

Are You Confident?

Your Makeup Look Is

Dramatic Eyes with Naked Lips You rock an edgy, modern look with feminine grace

What's Your Signature Makeup Look?

You Are a Normal Girl

You are 50% Good and 50% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

You Belong in Spring

Optimistic, lively, and almost always happy with the world... You can truly appreciate the blooming nature of spring. Whether you're planting flowers or dyeing Easter eggs, spring is definitely your season!

What Season Are You?

Your Birthdate: July 16

Calm and understated, you struggle to express your love with words. Over time, your partner learns to recognize your passion by the actions you take. You're good at wooing someone slowly, without them even realizing it! Number of True Loves You'll Have: 5 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1 You are most compatible with people born on the 7th, 16th, and 25th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

What Ryuiko Means

R is for Rare Y is for Yummy U is for Unusual I is for Innocent K is for Keen O is for Openhearted

What Does Your Name Mean?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life. But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it. Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career. Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

You Would Do Most Things For Love

You are willing to go pretty far for love - but not far enough to compromise your core values. Love is a priority for you, and you'll go further than most people to hold on to someone you love. But killing for love? Or even taking a bullet? Probably out of the question. No matter what, you love yourself the most!

Would You Do Anything For Love?

You Are Bad Girl Sexy

Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot. You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on. And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you. Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

You Are 40% Jealous

You're occasionally jealous, but you wouldn't be human if you weren't You keep your jealousy under control. You accept it, deal with it, and move on. In fact, most people would be surprised to know that there's a jealous bone in your body. So congratulate yourself for keeping your emotional impulses under control!

How Jealous Are You?

You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty. You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy. Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it. And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

Your Sensitivity Score: 45%

As far as sensitivity goes, you're a lot more in tune than most people. You can't help but be touched by what's around you - good and bad. But when things do get really bad around you, you are strong enough not to break down.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

You Are a Bad Student

You aren't really that into school, no matter what you are studying. Maybe you need to take a year off and figure out what you want. Because right now, class is the last place you want to be.

Are You a Good Student?

Your True Love Will Find You Eventually

You definitely put yourself out there a little - but you could be doing more. If you're truly looking for love, try doing more things and meeting more people. You don't have to actively look for love, you just need to stay active. Be out there a little more, and the right person will find you!

Will Your True Love Find You?

You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love. You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet. And while many people may claim they would choose love too... You're one of the few who would really do it.

Would You Choose Love or Money?

Your Love Type: INFJ

The Protector In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in. However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

What's Your Love Type?

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with Your negative traits: Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down. Your ideal partner: Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt! Your dating style: Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another. Your seduction style: Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac. Tips for the future: Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first. Best color to attract mate: Aqua Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

You Are 28% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head. You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

Never Date a Cancer

Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches. And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return. Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

You Are 76% Intuitive

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right. You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous. When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

How Intuitive Are You?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Your Learning Style: Personal and Passionate

You are very flexible and curious about the world. Human understanding is very important to you. You Should Study: Anthropology Architecture Art Art history Art therapy Classics Counseling Foreign Languages and Literature International Studies Linguistics Literature Psychology Sociology Teaching

What Should You Study?

You Are 72% Grown Up, 28% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody. And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

You Will Die at Age 58

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

You Have Low Self Esteem 48% of the Time

While you sometimes feel good about yourself, you tend to struggle a little with self esteem issues. It's not about changing who you are, it's about accepting your faults. You just need to be less critical and demanding of yourself!

How is Your Self Esteem?

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash. Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky. And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

How Are You In Love?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?