Melody of my Life..

asthma attacked after a good 20 years..
eyes swell like goldfish..
i cried too hard..

was hoping i could get drunk and concussed this entire weekend so i dun have to tink of anything. but i guess, it isnt tat easy uh? apparently, the more i wanna get drunk, the harder it is.

i've smoked more thn a pack, near 2, onli today..
i was having some wines, beers and wines..
but.. why am i stil nt drunk???

cried my hearts out while playing some worship songs.. knelt down n pray. for things to work out watever it is. sincerely asked for God's guidance and healing to come over my heart now. like RIGHT NOW!

i dun wanna wry anyone so i've been all smiley and acted happy. i'm not that strong u noe?


sudden feeling of being all alone..
sudden feeling of i'm forsaken..
sudden missing u..

p/s: all these breaks my heart. u mentioned that i can lay down my strong front infront of u. but now? sigh..