Happy :)

Had quite a rough day trying to get thru at work.. and got super worried aft his MIA for an entire day.. it's not that i worry he's with some other girls or he doesnt wan me anymore. I was worried that something bad might happen to him. He havent had enough rest, he drinks n drives, and his health isnt anywhere near pink. Couldnt reali focus on anything i do today :( just feel very restless and got very worked up once there's notifications or calls on my mobile. Struggled the day thru, and struggled to go lesson. Been praying as and when i can. Hoping he's fine.

Struggled badly in class tryin to sit down and stop moving ard. Trying hard to stop wrying. And than he finally text and call :) a huge load was off my worryin heart and was very thankful. he just kinda coma-ed in his slp.. haha xD chatted awhile and things were gd, oh and i caught a soft "miss u" while i was yaking away sharing with him the funny things in class. Awww~ i melted :) moving on, he mentioned that he's too lazy for a appt, gt it cancelled and decided to go club instead.. honestly.. i was upset. Nt angry, but just kinda upset and disappointed. I thought we could spend the night tgt.. i actually brought clothes and even bathing stuffs :/ but he didnt promise so its ok. I was more upset by the fact that he's been clubbing and he even chose club over wrk.. kinda disappointed.. :(

when he asked if i wanna join him, i'd love to. But thn again, i know guys need their own space. Especially him at this stage where he needs a break frm everything. I was tryin to put myself in his shoes.. tryin to rmb how much i hate it in the past when i was a clubber and my bf tried to stop me frm clubbin. it sucks to feel untrusted and it sucks to be stopped frm doin things u wanna do. So i decided to just let him have his space n have his fun. Afterall, if he's mine, he'll be mine.. right? I'm learning to trust him. and i'm learning to behave like a adult and treat him like a adult. The uneasy feeling is still here, afterall i do know that girls wil be ard him and physical contact cant be avoided. I do also know that alot of shits tend to have higher chance of happening in clubs. But i'm stil learning and trying :)

And after awhile, i gt a reali pleasant surprise :) he mention that he's gg for another appt and decided nt to club. I reali smiled :) i dunno if he's making this decision for not wanting me to be upset, but i'm still very happy. i just think, a guy should prioritize work thn play. Infact, not only guys.. every individual should. It's something we all hate. But well.. we have to grow up n know how to proritize and be responsible right? thou end of the day, he stil went out.. not a club thou at least reali is chillout and work related. again, i dunno isit for me, but still i'm happy :) just hope he doesnt drink too much and drive.


it's just small little things like this, that can make a silly girl like me smile :)
Thank u :)