Melody of my Life..

i haven been in a anywhere-near-good situation in everything.. basically everythin! =\ my love life is on a rocky path.. my studies, i'm climbing the steepest slope i've ever climb.. financial wise i'm suffocating myself with bills and gifts.. i couldnt find another job.. my health is deterioting wat else can be worst?

love - i truly thinks the story of the song on my blog is fantasy.. plain fantasy that can NEVER happen in reality.. for those who cant read or understand chinese i shall translate it (dun blame me for weird tranlation my english am juz bad)..

傻傻两个人 许过一个愿
当时星星眨着眼 看起来并不远
two silly person made a wish upon a time
the stars were blinking, it seems not far away..

为你展翅飞 为你被风吹
请你千万要等我 带幸福来给你的那一天
for u i soar in the sky for u i get blown away
you must wait for me, the day i'd bring happiness for u

春天散步,夏天看海,秋天数落叶
一直没有烦恼 一直没有争吵
让每天像糖一样甜
strolling in the spring
watching the sea in summer
counting the fallen leaves in autumn
always, there'll be no worries
always, there'll be no quarrels
to let everyday be as sweet like candies

冬天飘雪 我是棉被 温暖你的夜
一直在你身边 一直爱到永远
你就负责靠着我的肩
in the falling season of winter
i'll be your blanket to warm up you night
always, i'll be by ur side
always, loving til enternal time
and your duty is to just lean on my shoulder

贴着你的脸 拍一张照片
世界是很复杂的 要靠我近一点
we take a photo while sticking to your face
the world is very complicated
do stand closer to me

但愿你每天 幸福又安全
两只恋人手牵手 谁也不用再跑给谁去追
i pray everyday, you'd be happy and safe
two lovers hand in hand,
no one needs to run to let the other chase.

get the beautiful picture? sadly, this can onli be in fantasy.. in our dreams.. or is there anyone have ever live thru this dream? and are happily married ever after juz like any fairytales? dun share them with me pls.. i had enough of fantasies that reality seems so cruel to me..
i just wish i can be the girl in the song..

studies - like everyone noe i've been skipping sch (as usual) so my result am failing.. it's definitely much worst thn last sem as i've skip too many UTs.. sigh.. and sch is definitely draining me resulting me in having super bad temper and frustrated VERY easily.. thus causing alot of unhappiness be it with my best fren or my bf or even my mum.. maybe i shud say a BIG sorry to everyone that was affected.. bear with me for a week or so more alrite? the happy iko wil be back =(
i'm truly sorry..

financial - i promise i wil cut down on shopping.. =( i was never a shopaholic and i never wanna be one.. sigh.. why do we girls love to shop? and why do everything cost so scarily? and worst is i noe i'm a lazy person who dun love to work and am very demanding in a gd job.. sigh.. i have nothing much to say here but juz sighing my way thru..
sighs..

health - i swear it's getting from bad to worst =\ my teeth bleed EVERYDAY without fail when i brush them.. i'm falling sick 3 times in a month the previous month.. and even now i'm stil down with flu.. when wil i recover? =(

conclusion - all the above factors are contributing to my terrible moodswings recently.. and i swear it's gettin worst =\ i'm losing grip of everything.. when one tries to hold onto too many things, and the load gets far too heavy thn u can ever hold.. u fall.. u break apart.. and u got crash.. simple? CNY's coming and i definitely am in the mood for a nice relaxing holiday with my bf, my frens and family.. but things arent goin that way now! ya i did spend time with mummy this yr to shop etc.. but i'm definitely not in the mood..

i'm far to stress with my sch and dance.. i dun even dance now! many of my frens have obviously drifted from me.. reason? i have no idea.. i juz feel my life is at another lowest point once again.. it happens every yr is it? sighs.. v'day's coming.. SCREW IT! i dun even noe how where who i'll be with~ i might juz stuck home with my computer.. who noes wat the future holds? who noes when i might juz die..

i aint talking crap here.. reason why i'm saying that? i had a dream last nite.. shud i call it a nitemare? watever.. i dreamt that i have tumor.. it was remove completely but the doc detected there's stil something in my brain (i guess it's juz plain air cos i have a empty brain) i dreamt that i might not live but everyone came visit me.. but why visit me when i'm dying? why cant we cherish and keep in contact when we're perfectly fine? that's human? always love to wait til it's too late?

i had 3 nitemares in a row of juz 2hours slp.. bad omen? i guess so.. my eyelid has been twitching like nobody's business for the pass few days too.. i noe something bad wil happen.. we shall see.. either i'm gonna lose him, lose being a yr 2, lose al my money on CNY, lose more frens, or even lose my dance skills.. who noes? ha~ life.. it's unpredictable..

when someone gave his all to me, i trample it
now when i gave my all, i got trampled on..
humans are all idiots..
-iko's reallllllll sad :(-