good news! MBS aka IR finally called me! and i'll be goin for a briefing and dunno wat fingerprint censor thingy and photo taking on the 11th of feb and my training starts on 23rd feb xD i cant wait! omg! have been waiting for this day for like 5 months? LOL~ it's gonna be a tough path but i guess it'll be exciting as well xD lotsa new things to learn for me especially :D and lotsa new friends to make! wheee! but kinda sad i cant train with silver and lost :( their training starts on 22nd and they're the first batch.. mine i guess cos they called me too late so have to go with the 2nd batch which starts 1 day later thn them :( i just hope we can be in the same shift thou :D at least i have some smking kakis and i wont feel too tensed =x quite scary to tink of it.. how damn busy i'll be when it starts.. how damn little time i have for my leisure and my games D: meow meow~ let's just hope everything wil be smooth for the next 9 month at least ba :D recently had been quite draining for me lol~ had been tonning at XG for the past i dunno how many days D: it was nice hanging out with frens, having laughter everyday of my life.. at least i noe.. i'm not alone :) and when ytd i'm finally stuck home, walao so lonely X( but i guess it's just parts n parcels of life? tsk~ anyways have started learning dota again LOL!! =x so blur :( had been into a few games recently lol~ when u hang out at lan too much with nth to do, i guess u'll end up trying all sorts of games lol~ well fun :) okies am gonna play a few rd of dota alr (dun expect much it's just me against AI and it's EASY somemore) roar~ gdnites and gdbyes~!

muacks

hmm just got inspiration to hit somethin on my blog and sry to my none-chinese friends cos my chinese suddenly wished to be flaunt LOL =x wrote something like that in english last june for another guy so guess this time could try it in chinese hehe =x here it goes (:

想愛卻不敢愛的感覺。。 有人知道嗎？ 身邊的朋友都覺得我們是不同世界的人。。 不論是外表或性格，我們都不屬于同個世界。。 年齡的差距也令人想笑。。 他們問為什么我會喜歡上你，我卻回答不了口。 或許是你剛好進入了我寂寞的世界吧。。 你那溫柔的聲音，溫柔的關心，搖動了我不想移動的心。 你讓我覺得很特別。。 但我也會跟自己說或許你只是單純的以對一個朋友的好在對待我吧。 當從朋友口中聽到你沒有喜歡我時，心里不知為何會有一股酸酸刺刺的感覺。。 沒有你的消息時，我會感到很寂寞。 看見你的名字浮現在手機銀幕上時，嘴角會不自覺的往上揚。 這。。 是喜歡上一個人的感覺嗎？ 我自己也不清楚了。 真的很不想承認自己已經喜歡上你，卻又把止不住。 之前你說了一個很普通的“sorry”，雖然只是很普通的一個字，但它卻讓我感到好寂寞。。 為了不想再聽到那寂寞的“sorry”，我好想放棄。。 過了幾天再次遇見你，好想永遠把你留在我的視線里。。 永遠也不讓你離開。 雖然只是一下子的有你陪伴，但我想這已足夠了。 謝謝你。。 我這個又傻又單純的好朋友 (:

好想好想你。。
-薇

Few things to update abit bout my boring life ~.~ anyways i'm back to working at speed and today's my LAST DAY!!! woohoo~! kelvin's leaving so there isnt any need for me to stay on either so might be hopping to raining soon :D on wed had abit too much of drinks and got involve in a mini "fight" with that damn bar tender from beerbelly.. got a little push from him and now i'm with my big blue black on my knee.. damn guys who lays a finger on girls >=( anyways, realised that CNY is getting near and damn it falls on v.day ~.~ but oh well since i'm spending a single v.day this yr so it doesnt matter which day it falls on haha :3 haven gotten any idea on wat clothes to get this yr and basically.. i'm not in the mood for CNY =\ i dunno why either meow~ has been missing on catching up with frens recently thanks to my lifeless job.. spending most of my time at work if not home and sometimes at XG bedok.. kinda wasting my life away again X( MBS.. when are u guys calling me :(:(:( i wanna work a proper job and get my life goin! grrr~ oh well.. no idea wat else to hit on my keys here alr.. pray for my last day tonite at speed *amen*

i need a space to rent so here i am again.. i'm seriously seriously beginning to hate my mum alot.. i hate it when she have to check my wallet sercretly every morning.. and if there's more thn 50dollars, she'll take the 50 and leave the rest for me to survive.. so i always have to survive with like 10bucks a week? nice mother i have? HA~ and now she noe that i'm working in pub, she expect me to work EVERY SINGLE DAY so i can earn more money and GIVE THE FKING MONEY TO HER.. wtf???? i got 100 buck in my wallet ytd and she took 70 of it.. wtf?! i'm so fking piss i dun wan to go work anymore.. i rather stay home play my game rot to death and have no money thn to work my life off and let her suck all my money away.. damn it.. she took the money not for anything emergency or wat.. she took it for fking MAHJONG! how the fk can i not be pissed?! and just now she ask me to give her another 50 i immediately rejected and say "i no money u wan u go take back from ur frens" she herself no money to spend already still keep lend ppl money.. trying to act hero?! LAUGH MY ASS OFF! and when i reject her she stil talk like some cbk saying "wah now someone talk got WIND already hor?" wtf?! fine i dun talk lor i dun work lor.. rot to death lor. pcb tink already damn pissed off how the fk i have this kind of mum!? fk my life!

A little update of what i've been up to recently.. Have been working in a pub Speed Legend in BoatQuay for the past 3 days and seriously i'm drained~ totally dried x.x haven been drinking for 2months and suddenly straight drink 4 days in a row is no joke :( but anyway i'm hopping over to raining bar soon hehe~ aka the famous colour zone :D yup the place where i grew up LOL~ anyways another glorious thing is i've won the Expert competition in Arena (audition) on 7th dec! dun blame me for being haolian i know i am and I WAN TO BE HAOLIAN! LOL =x waited for 4 bloody years and i finally got my first medal! xD si AfiinityIvy keep say he got 3 liao ;eeks ma de HLHLHLHL! roar! i wil get more de! trust me! anyway just LP to freesia and thanks to Jim aka -Sparks- hehe~ we cleared it easily unlike the last time i played =\ mo qi mo qi ;hoho~ anywaya am gonna tag hard to LP on xmas again :D jyjy!

ahh had some very nostalgic feelings in my heart so thot of writing them down here (: just went to meet up with Mr A (one of my ex if those who knows - the guy that made me felt so love).. wanna noe why i'm so crazily in love with him? he's the very first guy that made me felt so xiao nu ren and wanting to be protected by him.. he's the first guy that made me felt so secured in my entire life :) anyways.. he happened to be in my area so we just kinda catch up with one another.. lots n lots of thots went through my mind while i was with him.. one of the strongest feelings were.. "it's amazing how i can face someone which used to cause me such HUGE pain in my heart long ago.." he didnt hurt me so dun get the wrong idea.. he's just someone that i used to love sooooooo damn much that i can nearly throw away my life for lol =x someone that i think is the one that i love the most in my entire life (: well it's been more thn a yr since we broke up and it feels good meeting up again (: a whole new status as a friend feels good too :D he's someone that taught me alot about life and guided me so much.. when i went down, the first thing he say is "next time if ppl ask where u stay, just say near ave 7" this is just so him! lol~ i remember when i just shifted to woodlands, he used to bring me around and teach me how to go to yishun via mandai and stuffs liddat lol~ always a lecturer in my life :) we didnt go to anywhere specific, just driving around my area, chatting bout cars, his stereo system, his life, my life.. from the conversation i reali can feel.. Humans really do change.. we humans just wants to upgrade our life so badly dun we? i remember how he used to tell me bout his car.. how satisfying he was with it.. and now it's a whole new thing lol~ but still i feel comfortable just being around him.. oh well that's wat attracted me to him last time haha.. am glad that didnt change thou.. stil the Mr nice to chat guy :) we stop by at some ulu ulu place at changi and chatted there.. it indeed was a nice and relaxing chat which for a moment shuts all troubles outta my life.. and after awhile we just head home straight.. he called to chat while he's on his way home.. this brought back memories too man :) in the past that's wat he do also, after dropping me, call n chat til he's home.. haha~ and we talked bout our past and also my past 2 bf after him haha~ he mention that i'd hate my last bf alot due to him bastarding me.. but i said nope.. not at all.. i just take it that it's another part of my life my memories.. well no matter wat.. 2 person being able to be tgt is already a blessing isnt it? and the break up is due to both parties arent able to suit into one another's life so i guess break ups might not be that bad either :) he say i'm a very forgiving girl.. lol~ *blush* i just felt that hating someone is very tiring and i dun wan to hate :) i dun deny i did hate my last ex when we first broke up.. but after that i felt that hate is way too tiring.. i rather let love as a fren heal me thn to fill myself with hatred isnt that alot better? :) well felt good i could go outta my house for awhile just to chat with an old lover friend of mine :) am glad everything's goin fine for him too.. hope that everything will goes well for me soon too ^^

p/s: this part has nothing to do with today but i just had a beautiful nightmare last nite =\ oh well hope for the better :)

nostalgic feelings..
i do miss u as a fren too :)

MAD WOMAN IKO =\

it's crazy! i dunno wth i've become.. someone that dun wan to sleep even when i'm F-king tired.. waiting everyday starring at my laptop for wthello i also dunno.. starring to see is he's online ornt.. starring to see if he's home.. waiting for my damn phone to ring hoping it will be him.. gahhhhh! wat is so wrong?! >=( i cannot let myself get so crazy over him! slap me awake pls thanks.