ahh~ it's been awhile since i last blogged.. anyway it's been a rather struggling week for me =\ things weren't going as fine as it seems thou.. recently, i've been trying to psycho myself, brainwashing to make myself awake.. it's really tiring and i really am breaking down.. the last weekend was another drunkard weekend i had *sigh for thurs, hugo boss.. alrite it's juz another event where iko's jumping ard saying hi doing PR, actin happy =\
everyone ask me "where's ur boi?" =\ al i said was "dunno".. i myself dun even noe wat things are like now.. hanging there as if selling some chicken or duck.. it feels terrible.. utterly terrible =\ *sigh i wish to be the true happy me once again.. i wish to stand up on myself once again.. nothing to bring me down, nothing to come in my way.. it's hard, i know.. but i can do it and i wil do it..
recently have met these biker gang.. seriously it's my first time moving in high speed on a expressway for the past 20 bloody yrs.. i swear.. it felt so good that it's out of this world! but once again my vespa dream came back =X and i saw this vespa it's a beauty i swear! now i'm struggling to take bike license or car =( car wil definitely be a better choice but it's like firstly so ex, secondly i like the comfort in car but i love the excitement in bikes! how?! =(
but recently after so much thinking and killing of brain cells, i've realised and finally wake up to something in life.. i realise that ppl always say "humans are selfish, we live for our own and nothing else.." this is VERY true! ppl ard me, al seem so far away now.. sii is one of them =( i'm not saying she's selfish but indeed she's surviving for her own.. i miss her so much =( hope she's doin fine..
HIM is also another case.. someone can throe ur loved ones al alone outside a club for bloody 28bucks and someone that can ignore their loved ones for like an entire day without a single call or sms.. sometimes i wonder.. does he actually really truly noe wat is love??? and have he EVER EVER EVER been in love??? o.O i reali wonder.. does he noe wat's the responsibility of a bf? and does he noe wat exactly is a r/s???
sigh~ it seems that every individual is different is indeed true.. different per spective, different goals, different way of handling things.. and sorry but honestly, his way of handling things makes me sick at times.. i mean MOST of the time.. i hate ppl who leave things as it is, dun solve them and simply keep running.. ket's see how long can they run.. "u can run but u can never hide" a nice sentence that's well known by everyone..
jovi brainwashed me few days back.. i felt much better.. indeed.. yes, we dun need a guy/girl now.. life is all about being happy.. why care the rest? =) i just wanna be hapy and be myself.. maybe one day i'll be tamed.. maybe one day i wil truly be ME yet someone that's accepted by the one i love.. i honestly hate it when someone tries to control over me.. i had enough of those.. i never felt guilty before cos i noe i'm not a slut that touches guy or let them touch me..
i noe myself very well that i'm not someone that kiss everyone i noe.. i'm not the type of girl that hook guys in clubs.. i club, to dance.. to enjoy my fren's accompany.. to de-stress.. but if the guy of my life cant seem to understand and accept that, i'm sorry i guess i'm not yours.. i'm a human.. a girl that needs love and acceptance.. not a pet or property to be controlled over.. after one of my past incident, i'm already VERY afraid of such cases.. i cant let myself fall into any of these.. cos i noe the consequences wil be just making the devil in me goin more wild.. there's such thing as backfired =)
so one last words to al guys out there.. either u accept and cherish wat u have now, or regret later.. one of my fren told me "ignore him la.. he wil ask u to go back to him once u leave him.. guys are all like that haha" he himself is a guy.. but he can say such things.. and i guess it's all been proven haha! well guys.. cherish the girl u have now.. dun regret when it's too late.. *smiles*
Saturday, May 19, 2007
whee~ everything's rather peaceful this week *thank god* hmm just feel like hitting a few keys here on the keyboard t udate abit bout wat had happened this week ba.. for the weekdays obviously i'm stuck in that republic prison =( after sch, either i'll be hoe ZzZz or i'll be meeting fairy at AMK to chill =) it feels gd seeing the girls la.. her lynette.. so happy ^^ was a short session but stil very happy..
AMK's my new hangout already lol~ it's near, cheap and of cos got khaki like fairy and lynette.. muehehe~ oh and few days back got my hair dyed red ^^ wheee~ nothing new but i stil love my red hair hehe~ and i cut my fringe myself again hehe~ now i look so funny -.- sueann say got difference lei but phoebe say i might as well dun cut T_T damn sad.. but nvm i dun wan too short also lol =X
hmm things were peaceful between me and him too *a BIG thank god* my heart very weak liao lol~ cannot take blows le lol!! and i've of cos cut down alot on WG le.. hmm.. webby sometimes also lazy go in talk.. bitching also reply when i feel like it.. forum, go in get myself updated onli.. guess one day i'll totally cut off from WG le ba.. no idea also.. it's hard.. cos they were like family to me.. for my long holiday, i've spent every single day with them lei! and they really took very good care of me that time =)
it was my happiest and saddest holiday thou lol~ sad cos it's too messed up =\ but happy cos i met alot of nice ppl.. ytd i was tinking.. is it gd to get a r/s from WG or is it bad? why i say that? here's how it goes..
good
cos at least the circle of frens are al the same.. we al noe one another and easier to trust that way.. WG maybe a "not so clean" place but if u noe who to choose to hang out with i believe it isnt that bad afterall =)
bad
WG r/s i've seen too many TOOOOOO many!!! and NONE are long term.. =\ i guess is cos they rush into r/s too fast ba.. like i've said.. after being in WG for half a yr, even myself am used to the rushing of things =\ so now thank god i foud him and he's keeping my pace down =) WG have too many temptations inside them.. girls that are sluts that goes after attached guys, guys trying to make couples break up.. al these i've seen it all =\
so is it a gd or bad thing to have a r/s within WG? for me i tink it's a NONONONO! haha~ i rather get someone from non WG, slowly build the trust, thn to get someone in WG that has a short r/s lifespan.. lol~ so anyway.. i'm sick and tired of quarrels and fights in the bgr side.. so watever that's gonna happen i'm not gonna deal with it the way i dealt with in the past le =) someone gotta give in.. i chose to give in most of the time nw.. but who knows? i might explode inside haha~ when i explode, i guess nothing can bring me back =)
it feels good being in ur arms
it feels good when u come for me
it feels good when things are peaceful..
we need to trust more..
AMK's my new hangout already lol~ it's near, cheap and of cos got khaki like fairy and lynette.. muehehe~ oh and few days back got my hair dyed red ^^ wheee~ nothing new but i stil love my red hair hehe~ and i cut my fringe myself again hehe~ now i look so funny -.- sueann say got difference lei but phoebe say i might as well dun cut T_T damn sad.. but nvm i dun wan too short also lol =X
hmm things were peaceful between me and him too *a BIG thank god* my heart very weak liao lol~ cannot take blows le lol!! and i've of cos cut down alot on WG le.. hmm.. webby sometimes also lazy go in talk.. bitching also reply when i feel like it.. forum, go in get myself updated onli.. guess one day i'll totally cut off from WG le ba.. no idea also.. it's hard.. cos they were like family to me.. for my long holiday, i've spent every single day with them lei! and they really took very good care of me that time =)
it was my happiest and saddest holiday thou lol~ sad cos it's too messed up =\ but happy cos i met alot of nice ppl.. ytd i was tinking.. is it gd to get a r/s from WG or is it bad? why i say that? here's how it goes..
good
cos at least the circle of frens are al the same.. we al noe one another and easier to trust that way.. WG maybe a "not so clean" place but if u noe who to choose to hang out with i believe it isnt that bad afterall =)
bad
WG r/s i've seen too many TOOOOOO many!!! and NONE are long term.. =\ i guess is cos they rush into r/s too fast ba.. like i've said.. after being in WG for half a yr, even myself am used to the rushing of things =\ so now thank god i foud him and he's keeping my pace down =) WG have too many temptations inside them.. girls that are sluts that goes after attached guys, guys trying to make couples break up.. al these i've seen it all =\
so is it a gd or bad thing to have a r/s within WG? for me i tink it's a NONONONO! haha~ i rather get someone from non WG, slowly build the trust, thn to get someone in WG that has a short r/s lifespan.. lol~ so anyway.. i'm sick and tired of quarrels and fights in the bgr side.. so watever that's gonna happen i'm not gonna deal with it the way i dealt with in the past le =) someone gotta give in.. i chose to give in most of the time nw.. but who knows? i might explode inside haha~ when i explode, i guess nothing can bring me back =)
it feels good being in ur arms
it feels good when u come for me
it feels good when things are peaceful..
we need to trust more..
Saturday, May 12, 2007
honestly i'm tired.. very tired of everything.. i'm so tired that i chose to give up and walk away since he doesnt even wanna do anything about it.. i guess sometimes human gets tired too.. i'm not a supergirl.. i'm not a superwoman.. i'm really tired of everything.. al the hanging there and wild imagination.. my brain can no longer take anything like that anymore.. i feel so.. drained.. like i told them.. someone ask me whether is this really the end? i say i guess so.. i really feels like giving up and walk away.. i feel he's drifting away from me.. when we were at BF, he's juz standing beside me.. but i feel he's so far away... we're like so near yet so far..
now this later that.. my heart's cant be as strong as any other girls can be.. everytime i wish he's here he isnt.. i told someone i dun even feel loved at all.. sometimes i wonder.. was i even in the same league as him? are we living in the same world? things changed so much since we first met.. and it had onli been about a month or so.. i'm kinda seeing history repeating itself.. some history that i never wanna have again.. i dunno how to go on.. how to move on?
i dun wanna be the emo iko again.. i dun wanna sulk my life away again.. i wanna climb out of the well of emo and i never wanna be sad again.. J had helped me get out of it once.. i know i can do it! i'm born a emo girl.. yes indeed.. but i know al need to do is to tell myself "love is not everything" i've been telling myself these kinda stuff few days back as i got a damn feeling i'm losing him soon.. this time.. i wont be silly enough to hurt myself again.. i wil choose to walk away before he does.. since i cant give him wat he wans, and watever i do doesnt reali helps.. i guess i'll let go..
someone told me.. it'll be his damn lost if he lost me.. oh well.. maybe.. but to him if he doesnt noe how to cherish me than so be it.. i wan someone that cherishes me as much as i cherishes them.. i wan someone that trust me and loves me.. i need someone that holds my hand and guide me along my path of darkness.. i need someone that never give up on me.. bring back my smile and keep it there..
i guess i've done al i can to keep this going.. watever he doesnt like i stop.. i chose to do everything i can for him.. i chose to do everything i can to help this r/s grow.. but i alone cant make anything work.. i alone cant do everything.. he need to work along with me.. is he willing? i dunno..
when things are meant to be they'll be
i hate to lose u
but if it's not meant to be
i'll let go..
now this later that.. my heart's cant be as strong as any other girls can be.. everytime i wish he's here he isnt.. i told someone i dun even feel loved at all.. sometimes i wonder.. was i even in the same league as him? are we living in the same world? things changed so much since we first met.. and it had onli been about a month or so.. i'm kinda seeing history repeating itself.. some history that i never wanna have again.. i dunno how to go on.. how to move on?
i dun wanna be the emo iko again.. i dun wanna sulk my life away again.. i wanna climb out of the well of emo and i never wanna be sad again.. J had helped me get out of it once.. i know i can do it! i'm born a emo girl.. yes indeed.. but i know al need to do is to tell myself "love is not everything" i've been telling myself these kinda stuff few days back as i got a damn feeling i'm losing him soon.. this time.. i wont be silly enough to hurt myself again.. i wil choose to walk away before he does.. since i cant give him wat he wans, and watever i do doesnt reali helps.. i guess i'll let go..
someone told me.. it'll be his damn lost if he lost me.. oh well.. maybe.. but to him if he doesnt noe how to cherish me than so be it.. i wan someone that cherishes me as much as i cherishes them.. i wan someone that trust me and loves me.. i need someone that holds my hand and guide me along my path of darkness.. i need someone that never give up on me.. bring back my smile and keep it there..
i guess i've done al i can to keep this going.. watever he doesnt like i stop.. i chose to do everything i can for him.. i chose to do everything i can to help this r/s grow.. but i alone cant make anything work.. i alone cant do everything.. he need to work along with me.. is he willing? i dunno..
when things are meant to be they'll be
i hate to lose u
but if it's not meant to be
i'll let go..
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
am not reali in any mood to talk bout anything anymore.. sigh~ i cant stop imagining things.. seems like things are slowly getting out of hand and i cant seem to take control too.. i guess i'll be on my own and juz be myself for once.. i need to get back my life and be who i truly am.. i've lost myself far too much and have lost my own life.. for now.. i juz wanna keep on dancing and studying.. get busy and forget anything else that shouldnt affect me too much.. if they doesnt noe how to cherish me, so be it..
i dun need a guy who can have so many other girls in their heart.. i dun need a guy who makes empty promises and i dun need a guy who doesnt noe how to love me and dote on me the way i need.. someone told me that i've been lowering myself far too much and overly pampering him.. i guess that someone's right.. i shouldnt go on that way.. i'm a girl that needs to be love and dote on.. no the other way round..
i need a gentleman.. i need a man.. i need a sensitive guy that understands me well and give me the security i need.. i dun need a little boy that dun even noe when i'm feelin down and i dun need someone that come to me onli when i needed them.. so for now.. i shall keep shut and see wat things are gonna turn out like.. anyway.. events.. watch out for the last event on this list.. cos i'll be performing~ thanks
i dun need a guy who can have so many other girls in their heart.. i dun need a guy who makes empty promises and i dun need a guy who doesnt noe how to love me and dote on me the way i need.. someone told me that i've been lowering myself far too much and overly pampering him.. i guess that someone's right.. i shouldnt go on that way.. i'm a girl that needs to be love and dote on.. no the other way round..
i need a gentleman.. i need a man.. i need a sensitive guy that understands me well and give me the security i need.. i dun need a little boy that dun even noe when i'm feelin down and i dun need someone that come to me onli when i needed them.. so for now.. i shall keep shut and see wat things are gonna turn out like.. anyway.. events.. watch out for the last event on this list.. cos i'll be performing~ thanks
PARADIZE @ Del Mar
Date: 15th May 2007 (tues)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Cafe del mar
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 30
note: those with ticket presented
while entry, will be entitles to 1-for-
Date: 15th May 2007 (tues)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Cafe del mar
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 30
note: those with ticket presented
while entry, will be entitles to 1-for-
1 on all housepour and beers from 9pm -
11pm!
11pm!
--------------------------------------
Tertiary Fling (UNI edition)
Date: 10th May 2007 (thurs)
Time: doors open at 9pm
(free entry with tix from 9pm - 11pm)
Venue: MOS
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 34
--------------------------------------
Date: 10th May 2007 (thurs)
Time: doors open at 9pm
(free entry with tix from 9pm - 11pm)
Venue: MOS
Price: FREE!!
Tickets left on hand: 34
--------------------------------------
KONVICTED!
an event by planne kayos in
collabaration with whosgoing.sg
time for some party people ^^
Date: 30th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 8pm til late
Venue: Fort gate, fort canning park
Price: $20 (pre-sale) $23 (door)
Tickets left on hand: 20
--------------------------------------
an event by planne kayos in
collabaration with whosgoing.sg
time for some party people ^^
Date: 30th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 8pm til late
Venue: Fort gate, fort canning park
Price: $20 (pre-sale) $23 (door)
Tickets left on hand: 20
--------------------------------------
Back to Baggies
A party u cant miss!
Free VIP membership @ Butter factory to be given away
and catch the performance of
LUSH, The cartelz and Trivalation!
Date: 9th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Butter Factory (clarke quay)
Price: Guys ($15) Ladies (Free)
P/s: guys with the black card can enter free and i might be able to help i said MIGHT =X
i got no ticket but still pls pls go and support!!! ^^
A party u cant miss!
Free VIP membership @ Butter factory to be given away
and catch the performance of
LUSH, The cartelz and Trivalation!
Date: 9th May 2007 (wed)
Time: 9pm til late
Venue: Butter Factory (clarke quay)
Price: Guys ($15) Ladies (Free)
P/s: guys with the black card can enter free and i might be able to help i said MIGHT =X
i got no ticket but still pls pls go and support!!! ^^
HA~HA~HA!
why am i laughing? because i feel that i'm reali super dumb and stupid at times.. no i mean ALL the time.. haha! i actually feel sad for him and am thinking that he REALLY wil change for me.. and worst is i even thot of going back to him! how dumb am i?!?!?! i've finally trust this saying "a leopard never change it's spot" so i am stil glad i chose and force myself to move on.. i wil not turn my head back anymore.. i had enough of all the cheating and sweet talking.. but watever it is i thank god he's out of my life.. dun tell me u stil like me and wan me.. dun tell me u miss me when u can call other girls all the way from taiwan! dun tell me u wish to see me and dun ever say u love me still.. u're juz someone that wants me as a spare tyre.. juz someone that u can toy with whenever u're lonely.. i hate u! stop lying to me anymore.. i wont take in ur sweet honeyed words anymore..!
to trust i'm so dumb..
haha!
why am i laughing? because i feel that i'm reali super dumb and stupid at times.. no i mean ALL the time.. haha! i actually feel sad for him and am thinking that he REALLY wil change for me.. and worst is i even thot of going back to him! how dumb am i?!?!?! i've finally trust this saying "a leopard never change it's spot" so i am stil glad i chose and force myself to move on.. i wil not turn my head back anymore.. i had enough of all the cheating and sweet talking.. but watever it is i thank god he's out of my life.. dun tell me u stil like me and wan me.. dun tell me u miss me when u can call other girls all the way from taiwan! dun tell me u wish to see me and dun ever say u love me still.. u're juz someone that wants me as a spare tyre.. juz someone that u can toy with whenever u're lonely.. i hate u! stop lying to me anymore.. i wont take in ur sweet honeyed words anymore..!
to trust i'm so dumb..
haha!
Monday, May 07, 2007
it juz hurts so much when truth smacks in ur face.. when i chose to trust him when i chose to let go and dive in this love once again.. ugly truths shows.. disappointed, lost, confuse, speechless is my reaction when i see those ugly truths with my own eyes.. indeed, this kinda things did happen to me before but i didnt get it rite infront of my face and i didnt have to deal with it.. why? because i was stupid enough to keep quiet bout it and juz slowly being treated like a fool..
but now.. iko's no longer stupid.. i promise not to let myself get hurt again.. never to.. i chose to stand up for wat i wan.. i chose to stand up for myself and not to run and hide and cry in my own lil closet.. at least now i cry out loud.. even if it's to myself, i'm glad i stood up for myself.. al the confrontations might make me lose him.. al the confrontation might juz end everything within today.. but stil, i chose it.. because i noe wat's meant to be, wil be..
i noe he did try to apologise and make me feel better this few days.. but the incident juz keep haunting me.. i haven been myself after that happened.. when we were at the ktv, the song "i dun wanna fight no more" reali hit me.. i honestly truly, dun wanna fight anymore.. be it whichever way u're lookin at it.. be it fight as in quarrels, or fight as in fighting my own struggles of the insecurity in me.. i'm tired.. i'm drained.. i wan to be love.. i dun wanna get hurt..
i'm someone with not much patience when kept hanging there.. i've always been silly enuff to wait and wait.. things always ended up in vain.. so i promise myself not to let myself down again.. i noe i'm selfish.. but why cant i? i've never love myself in my past 19 yrs.. from now on, i chose to love myself.. even if i dunno how to, but stil i'll learn.. i hate to lose him.. i hate to fight with him.. but sometimes when things goes reali wrong, i have no other choice i guess.. if i could i wish i could understand him alot more.. but wat else can i do? he's not opening his heart to me at all..
i wish to talk to him too.. some nice heart to heart talk.. but how?? his closeness of the dorrs of his heart, made me cant seem to open mine too.. i have soooooooo much to say to him.. but how?! :( i thot he's someone i can reali count on.. i thot he's someone i truly can slowly place my heart in.. but that incident brought down my trust for him way too much.. i wish to trust him again.. i wish to ignore that incident.. but i guess it's too hard for me :(
ya.. maybe some of u esp him, might tink that it's no big deal.. but wat if it happens the other way round? if i'm the one in his position and he's in mine.. i bet things might be worst.. his ego would have blew everything out.. i have my ego too.. i noe i've always been nice and calm bout things.. but i too have my ego.. i juz chose to hide them when it's not neccessary.. but stil the old saying, i cant accept my other half to betray me.. i cant except my other half to have other girls in their heart and mind other thn me.. likewise.. i cant allow myself to have more thn 1 guy in my heart n mind too..
so wat am i gonna do? i dunno.. i reali dunno.. i feel strengthless to move on.. i feel strengthless to deal with anymore blows.. i've been crying alot lately.. and i mean alot :( he's reali affecting my life and yes i'm very into him.. but i would not force anything anymore.. i wont beg him to stay if he choose to leave.. and i wont tie him down if he chooses freedom.. if he want me, he'll do everything to get me.. if he doesnt, it juz shows he doesnt wan me enuff.. i admit days with him are happy.. he made me felt loved and he cared.. he search for me when i go missing and his hugs are truly warm..
yes it's wat i wan.. but if he cant make me the onli one, i guess i wont wanna be involve in it anymore.. i dun wanna fall deeper and get myself hurt al over once more.. yes i'm already very hurt by now that the fact things are now.. how do i give us another chance? how do i trust him again? :( i reali dunno..
it's juz gonna be another nite
that my tears burn thru the pillow
crying in my own corner
suffering al alone..
but now.. iko's no longer stupid.. i promise not to let myself get hurt again.. never to.. i chose to stand up for wat i wan.. i chose to stand up for myself and not to run and hide and cry in my own lil closet.. at least now i cry out loud.. even if it's to myself, i'm glad i stood up for myself.. al the confrontations might make me lose him.. al the confrontation might juz end everything within today.. but stil, i chose it.. because i noe wat's meant to be, wil be..
i noe he did try to apologise and make me feel better this few days.. but the incident juz keep haunting me.. i haven been myself after that happened.. when we were at the ktv, the song "i dun wanna fight no more" reali hit me.. i honestly truly, dun wanna fight anymore.. be it whichever way u're lookin at it.. be it fight as in quarrels, or fight as in fighting my own struggles of the insecurity in me.. i'm tired.. i'm drained.. i wan to be love.. i dun wanna get hurt..
i'm someone with not much patience when kept hanging there.. i've always been silly enuff to wait and wait.. things always ended up in vain.. so i promise myself not to let myself down again.. i noe i'm selfish.. but why cant i? i've never love myself in my past 19 yrs.. from now on, i chose to love myself.. even if i dunno how to, but stil i'll learn.. i hate to lose him.. i hate to fight with him.. but sometimes when things goes reali wrong, i have no other choice i guess.. if i could i wish i could understand him alot more.. but wat else can i do? he's not opening his heart to me at all..
i wish to talk to him too.. some nice heart to heart talk.. but how?? his closeness of the dorrs of his heart, made me cant seem to open mine too.. i have soooooooo much to say to him.. but how?! :( i thot he's someone i can reali count on.. i thot he's someone i truly can slowly place my heart in.. but that incident brought down my trust for him way too much.. i wish to trust him again.. i wish to ignore that incident.. but i guess it's too hard for me :(
ya.. maybe some of u esp him, might tink that it's no big deal.. but wat if it happens the other way round? if i'm the one in his position and he's in mine.. i bet things might be worst.. his ego would have blew everything out.. i have my ego too.. i noe i've always been nice and calm bout things.. but i too have my ego.. i juz chose to hide them when it's not neccessary.. but stil the old saying, i cant accept my other half to betray me.. i cant except my other half to have other girls in their heart and mind other thn me.. likewise.. i cant allow myself to have more thn 1 guy in my heart n mind too..
so wat am i gonna do? i dunno.. i reali dunno.. i feel strengthless to move on.. i feel strengthless to deal with anymore blows.. i've been crying alot lately.. and i mean alot :( he's reali affecting my life and yes i'm very into him.. but i would not force anything anymore.. i wont beg him to stay if he choose to leave.. and i wont tie him down if he chooses freedom.. if he want me, he'll do everything to get me.. if he doesnt, it juz shows he doesnt wan me enuff.. i admit days with him are happy.. he made me felt loved and he cared.. he search for me when i go missing and his hugs are truly warm..
yes it's wat i wan.. but if he cant make me the onli one, i guess i wont wanna be involve in it anymore.. i dun wanna fall deeper and get myself hurt al over once more.. yes i'm already very hurt by now that the fact things are now.. how do i give us another chance? how do i trust him again? :( i reali dunno..
it's juz gonna be another nite
that my tears burn thru the pillow
crying in my own corner
suffering al alone..
Friday, May 04, 2007
hmm juz decided to blog abit here to update bout my stupid lifeless life -.-
ytd went to butter fac for uniform fetish 2.. it was better thn uniform fetish 1 thou.. the previous one i didnt wear uniform so this one i'm in ^^ i swear i'll never wear a sweater to club ever again!!! X( damn hot la! !@#$%^& but it was fun thou.. tink everyone was kinda shock cos i seldom wear til so "wrapped up" to club lol!!! overly wrapped up i guess =X
anyway ytd was simply a bad bad day =\ infact.. i dunno why but felt that this few days are kinda bad =\ keep having lil tiff with him and ytd wasnt any day better =\ we had abit of miscommunication and sensitivity issue.. was kinda a bad one thou.. felt very hurt by the things said by him.. but ya things turn fine after awhile =) (thank god!) so we had LJS thn head to BF..
i swear it's FARRRR from the train station la!!! idiot.. dunno who stil bluff me say very near! @#$%^&* when at BF, i swear there VERY little ppl -.- but ok la.. once awhile no need entertain so many ppl also gd =X hang ard with gab, bubbles, charlene.. hmm.. james and mich was ard.. shawn n darren run in and out.. alan's there too.. intro al of them to sweets ^^ and seems that shawn n him get along well ehh lol~ with their c-walking talks -.-
hopefully he didnt felt sian ba.. cos i drag him there.. without roy somemore lol~ *he and roy are inseparable!* =X but it definitely felt gd that he's ard ^^ wanted to go home at 12plus BUT as usual lol =X ended up home at 3am heee~ so that explains why i didnt go sch today AGAIN =X muehehe~ okok promise wil cut down on pons =X anyway today's lesson i CONFIRM can pass one so no nid worry hee =X butttttt! today's on dance! and i skip it! omg! i deserve to be shot in the head! X(
so i spend my entire day at home pokemon-ing ^^ for some funny reason, the episodes i watch today are all emo emo one! -.- made me waste so many tears sia !@#$%^&* oh ya! speaking of tears! i woke up today IN TEARS! nabei! damn scary can! i got nitemare.. after so long nv had nitemare ytd nite kana! wth sia~ i dreamt that i was involve in some case again and i was caught and the scene of me being charge on court, the moment i wait for my sentence.. the scene all flashes back sia!
in my dreams i reali cried and regretted MUCH more thn it was last time in the reality.. and it juz felt so real! i woke up tinking "omg thank god it's juz a dream!" it seriously was very very very real =\ i was very scared when i woke up, i hugged whiskers damn damn tight.. and first thing i do i sms him and tell him bout it =\ damn jialat.. so i told myself i'm gonna be a gd girl today whole day at home =X i did the laundry, clean my room, did my nails, clear the dishes and cooked dinner <-YES COOKED DINNER!! lol =X cant imagine iko cook rite!!! but mummy love it!!! but i dun reali love them lol =X
it felt gd lei.. feels like a housewife lol =X damn funny.. first time so aunty yet felt gd lol.. anyway i cooked fried sotong, fried some mince meat egg and some prawn hehe~ but i stil prefer maggie mee =X ok la.. once in awhile must torture mummy's appetite keke =X ok and that's bout my day ba.. am now rotting online as WG's down -.- and my pokemon haven dl finish *faint* tml's mos nite!!!! wheeeeeee~ i simply LOVEEEEEEE weekends! XD
i like it when u're so sweet ^^
but the lock to my heart is stil unlocked
the chains are tangled up
are u the one that's able to release them?
i dunno..
ytd went to butter fac for uniform fetish 2.. it was better thn uniform fetish 1 thou.. the previous one i didnt wear uniform so this one i'm in ^^ i swear i'll never wear a sweater to club ever again!!! X( damn hot la! !@#$%^& but it was fun thou.. tink everyone was kinda shock cos i seldom wear til so "wrapped up" to club lol!!! overly wrapped up i guess =X
anyway ytd was simply a bad bad day =\ infact.. i dunno why but felt that this few days are kinda bad =\ keep having lil tiff with him and ytd wasnt any day better =\ we had abit of miscommunication and sensitivity issue.. was kinda a bad one thou.. felt very hurt by the things said by him.. but ya things turn fine after awhile =) (thank god!) so we had LJS thn head to BF..
i swear it's FARRRR from the train station la!!! idiot.. dunno who stil bluff me say very near! @#$%^&* when at BF, i swear there VERY little ppl -.- but ok la.. once awhile no need entertain so many ppl also gd =X hang ard with gab, bubbles, charlene.. hmm.. james and mich was ard.. shawn n darren run in and out.. alan's there too.. intro al of them to sweets ^^ and seems that shawn n him get along well ehh lol~ with their c-walking talks -.-
hopefully he didnt felt sian ba.. cos i drag him there.. without roy somemore lol~ *he and roy are inseparable!* =X but it definitely felt gd that he's ard ^^ wanted to go home at 12plus BUT as usual lol =X ended up home at 3am heee~ so that explains why i didnt go sch today AGAIN =X muehehe~ okok promise wil cut down on pons =X anyway today's lesson i CONFIRM can pass one so no nid worry hee =X butttttt! today's on dance! and i skip it! omg! i deserve to be shot in the head! X(
so i spend my entire day at home pokemon-ing ^^ for some funny reason, the episodes i watch today are all emo emo one! -.- made me waste so many tears sia !@#$%^&* oh ya! speaking of tears! i woke up today IN TEARS! nabei! damn scary can! i got nitemare.. after so long nv had nitemare ytd nite kana! wth sia~ i dreamt that i was involve in some case again and i was caught and the scene of me being charge on court, the moment i wait for my sentence.. the scene all flashes back sia!
in my dreams i reali cried and regretted MUCH more thn it was last time in the reality.. and it juz felt so real! i woke up tinking "omg thank god it's juz a dream!" it seriously was very very very real =\ i was very scared when i woke up, i hugged whiskers damn damn tight.. and first thing i do i sms him and tell him bout it =\ damn jialat.. so i told myself i'm gonna be a gd girl today whole day at home =X i did the laundry, clean my room, did my nails, clear the dishes and cooked dinner <-YES COOKED DINNER!! lol =X cant imagine iko cook rite!!! but mummy love it!!! but i dun reali love them lol =X
it felt gd lei.. feels like a housewife lol =X damn funny.. first time so aunty yet felt gd lol.. anyway i cooked fried sotong, fried some mince meat egg and some prawn hehe~ but i stil prefer maggie mee =X ok la.. once in awhile must torture mummy's appetite keke =X ok and that's bout my day ba.. am now rotting online as WG's down -.- and my pokemon haven dl finish *faint* tml's mos nite!!!! wheeeeeee~ i simply LOVEEEEEEE weekends! XD
i like it when u're so sweet ^^
but the lock to my heart is stil unlocked
the chains are tangled up
are u the one that's able to release them?
i dunno..
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