Melody of my Life..

I'm not trying to be Emo here but i just happened to see my notes in facebook that i wrote quite sometime ago and i suddenly tink i'm a great writer LOL =x but reali ehh~ so much emotions was down in it and i can stil remember how damn emo i was when i wrote it.. it was named "my untold story" now i tink i should name it "emotions penned" LOL =x anyway such wonderful thing i wrote i just wanna leave it here in my blog as a memorial :) it was written for a special someone but now he's stil a special someone but not the same as that time hehe~ here it goes :)

My Untold Story..

There was once a mr someone appeared in my life out of nowhere.. just so randomly, he appeared and without knowing, i'm slowly being attracted to him.. i still remember the very first day everything started.. it was when he sat beside me at a place i shall not mention and randomly gets my msn.. i was surprise when he request for exchange of msn.. he was my eyecandy but i didnt even had the courage to smile at him.. and even after adding, we didnt chat at all..

til one fine day when i was rotting on my precious off day at bout 5am, he msn me askin me wat was i doin.. i mentioned that i just reach home and was goin to hit the sack.. he said something which made me regretted not goin to work that day.. ok certain things have to be kept secret here :) and ever since, we started chatting a little bit everyday.. and each day at work, i'll be like a idiot waiting for something to happen.. sometimes it did and sometimes it didnt.. but whenever it does, i'll be like a idiot smiling to myself.. time pass fast even when i'm not doin the usual stuffs i do..

and slowly we got closer thanks to a certain game in FB, it was kinda hard for me in the first place to learn it but soon i've got the hang of it.. and it became my motivation to logon my FB daily.. in fact, he's my motivation to check my wall and nearly everything in FB.. i wont deny there's a special something i have for him but sadly the reality aint allowing me to do anything about it..

and ever since we played that game, he'll start to slp real late.. and it somehow became my responsibility to get his ass up in the morning to work.. it didnt became a chore.. it was something i yearn to do daily.. even if it means to stay out late.. i'm not allowed to call/sms guys when i'm home.. some of u will noe the reason.. so, i've gotten another phone just for this.. i place it somewhere convenient for me to use and not being caught..

so every morning became a routine that i'll hide somewhere and start my "job" i'll hit more thn 20 to 30 miss calls just to wake him up and sometimes it reali worries me when he didnt pick it up.. firstly, i cannot stay away from my someone for too long least being caught =\ and secondly, i'm afraid i fail in waking him and him ended up being unhappy =\..

i constantly wil msg him and make sure he's awake before i could reali go to slp.. and the first thing i do when i wakie is to check that phone to see if he did reply.. sadly.. 99% of the time is a nono~ oh well.. wat do i expect? ha~ i remember there's this one time.. i brought a big smile to work.. i received his sms while i was waiting for train.. my heartbeat skipped a beat and my smile couldnt be wiped away.. and one night it was raining while i was working and his reali sweet words to ask me to tc of myself..

there's this period whereby we were getting real close just by watching a show. this period, i felt lonely no more at work. i was reali motivated to go to work and everyday seems so fun.. even on my off day was a fun nite at place i love to be.. til something happened someday.. and things revert back to wat it was before i noe him.. lonely, sad and cold.

i started to receive almost zero msges from him and never seen him since thn.. it occurs to me to totally not contact him so i wont be sad anymore, it occurs to me to stop contactin him so i wont bring troubles to his life.. it occurs to me to just leave him alone as i do not wish to be labeled as a irritant.. but i couldnt.. he's running thru my mind alot.. i miss him so.. but i guess this time i'm reali letting go.. i'll stop interfering with his life and just go on..

it hurts.. but i guess this will make him happier :) i wish to say thanks for leaving footprints in my life unknowingly.. sometimes i wish things werent the way they are now.. i've woken up from my dream and i'll move on in life.. stay happy :) dear fren..

Dedicated to you - dinosaur