Melody of my Life..

hais.. i'm so lost.. =( so very lost.. i stil cant accept the fact that he juz left liddat =( i wish to feel more sad.. instead of lost.. at least.. when i'm sad i could cry al i wan and thn get over it and move on in life.. but i couldnt! why? cos i stil cant accept someone actually was so in love suddenly disappear liddat! =( sigh~ wat am i hoping for? i'm in a total mess now =( i dun wanna hurt anyone.. neither do i wanna get hurt myself =( but hurts.. pains.. are al after me! argh~

i've been rotting on my bed the whole day.. wishing i could juz slp and forget this whole thing.. after the doc.. a big blow came into me.. but why do i eel nothing about it? sigh.. i'm so numb to feel.. i finally understand wat it means to be totally utterly despair.. hopeless.. no dreams.. no wishes..

i looked at the stars tonite.. there's lotsa them.. but stil i couldnt make any wishes.. al in my head is him him and more him =( it juz sucks to be in this position.. someone i used to have.. wanted so much.. yet gettng further away.. was talking with sueann in the noon.. both of us are in the same situation.. we wan the person so much.. we reali wan the person so damn much.. but stil.. obstacles are there =(

someone thn explained to me.. love is not easy to get.. that's y when the end of the day u get em, u'll noe how to cherish.. isit? sigh~ i wish to settle down.. i wish to stop this f-up life.. why am i even created? why am i even here? where's the iko that dance and have fun al day long? where's the non-emo iko? where have i gone??? =( i miss myself.. i love myself.. but wat am i doin?! argh! it's a gd day for me to tink things thru..

i tink alot of things today.. bout myself.. him, frens.. how can i adjust my life back? sigh~ i got a tongue lashing from dad when he came back juz now.. cos mum complained to him how f up i am now.. drink everyday.. go home either in the morning or dun even go home at al.. =( i also hate myself liddat! when dad nags.. he suddenly stop.. and said this.. "is there anything bothering u?" my tears broke out.. =( i didnt tell him thou.. i juz kept quiet and cry.. and he kept silent and went off..

more or less.. he shud noe something happened.. i dun always break down infront of him.. it's like the 2nd time after my ugly past.. sighs~ i reali am so lost!!!!!!! argh!!!! someone.. help pls =(

再见了我的宠爱 谁愿接受这种意外
你赞我天生可爱 不愿看着我离开

同伴也话我傻 喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我

人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我 凡事也治到倒我
几多黑心的教唆 我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火 就击倒我黱

谁恋爱就多障碍 死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱 我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
难在我拱手让爱

"点解要咁姐"
"点解唔可以咁呀"
"你唔觉得好辛苦咩"
"辛苦但系我钟意呀"
"算吧啦"

我怕可一不可再 难道你被爱都有害
我确信天真不会错 威力会移山填海

wil u hold my hand and guide me along?
wil u hold me if i fall?
i'm so lost without u..
-sighs-
=.......(