aiyoyo~ recently have been kinda busy with i-also-dunno-wat =.= anyway i need a few things now so if u happen to have any lobang do let me noe hor hehehe~ ^^v

i need...
-iTunes/iPod installation CD (i lost mine la X( #$#@$%^& so i juz need to borrow)
-sponsorships / contacts for sponsorships for a upcoming band competition
-sleeping pills (i lost slp every night!)
-some songs since my laptop crash =.= below is the list..

burn - usher
candy shop - 50 cent
crowded feat papoose - jeannie ortega
down - lin jun jie
get XXX'd feat petey pablo - j-kwon XXX:state of the union
gimme that - chris brown
hollaback - fabulous
kamasutra - adassa feat pitbull
london bridges - fergie
love sensation - 911
purest of pain - son by four
so sick - ne yo
SOS - rihanna
too little too late - jojo
zai jian guo qu - stella huang
dui shou - toro & yan xing shu
love me no more - bardot
i need a miracle - plus one

do send me if u have or if u have any good links that i can easily find songs XD some are really~ old songs so it's almost near impossible to find ): so those senior of my age ppl do help hor =x xiexie ni men XD

The lord my god.. answers prayers :D and he answers them especially fast when u're desperate enough to seek him.. i'm in for FYP!!!! XD i love jesus! anyway found this pic on deviantart and am loving it lol~ MIGHT make it into a t-shirt design XD very tired liao gd nite all.. smile and everything wil be fine ^^


the rainbow signifies god's covenant for us that he will never destroy the world again (:

-Come to the Table-

Come to the table of mercy
Prepared with the wine and the bread
All who are Hungry and thirsty
Come and your souls will be fed..

Come at the Lord's invitation
Receive from his nails-scarred hands
Eat of the bread of salvation
Drink from the blood of the lamb..

prayer for those who are weary..
it's tiring to be a survivor in this ugly world.. where there are the 7 big sins.. Luxuria (lust), Gula(gluttony), Avaritia (greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride).. this world is ever changing.. ever in greed for power and authority.. for fame.. for luxury.. and humans tend to neglect the real peace where we individually can find - in our god.. god promised us eternal peace, joy and love.. but we humans cant seem to be content. we hunger for power.. we hunger for money.. which made us weary.. some of us only hunger for peace but the surroundings might not be so.. temptations are al around which made us yearn for more. and we humans seek for challenge and rewards thus making us weary. exhaustion sets in and than we realise we need to seek for a shelter.. my shelter i seek in god.. my hiding place is in god.. that's where i can cry my heart out and throw my troubles away. because god truly understands. he's my father.. he created me.. he created this world and brings me here.. i know there's a reason for me to be here thus i'm working hard to survive to seek for this reason for me here and to do his will. i'm not his slave but a daughter created by him to serve this world. but dear father.. ur daughter is weary.. ur daughter's hurt.. will u bring her to a peaceful realm where she could rest and satisfy her hunger? "eat of the bread of salvation.." would u give me that bread? i seek ur freedom.. i seek ur love.. i seek joy and peace in my life. and most importantly i seek u.. would u hold me in ur arms once again? and would u allow me to rest on ur lap? just like those dreams i had when i'm down? father.. i need ur healing hands on me.. guide me and never forsake me.. amen

-a lost lamb that needs the shepherd desperately..

i haven't felt so low in life for a long long time.. dance.. studies.. even relationship with him isnt goin very gd.. just when it's our happy 2nd month.. things have to turn out wrong.. he's affected i noe.. and aren't i affected too? nvm i dun wish to say much.. fuck up life fuck up me.. al i have today is wat i myself brought upon myself.. i have no one to blame.. i'm not hardworking in school and not hardworking in dance.. i dun work n earn money and am not good gf..

basically i suck in everything i do.. fine~ so be it.. i'm stil me and tat's the way i am.. i no longer wanna suffer and try to get wat i wan. i chose to walk the easier path.. i can appeal for my FYP n repeating of yr 2.. i chose not to.. i dun wish to make anymore noise.. i dun wish to fight anymore for wat i wan.. be it money, result or wat so ever.. even this r/s.. i've told fairy.. even if he were to leave me or turn his cold shoulder to me over wat ever happened, i'm not gonna take it and i'll leave..

i'm serious.. it's not i dun love him.. i wan him i reali do.. but if something is gonna affect this r/s and make both us unhappy i rather end it.. i dun wanna be in a unhappy r/s.. i dun wanna be in a stained r/s.. suffered enough... it's time to rest.. be whatever i wan to be and do whatever i feel like doing.. no longer wanna fight no longer have any motivation.. heart dead.. mind dead.. the will to fight dead.. just let me quit in everything i do.. let me die..

quit~

i think this is seriously fuck up.. to all performers out there.. let me ask you this.. put urself in my situation.. u got a show for a roadshow.. and the promised paid price is $710.. u rehearsed for it and even got urself injured.. u choreographed for it.. u taught everyone else it.. u did ur best to show the fucking client watever u have even thou it's not perfect.. and after watching it, the client promised that u'll onli do the show for weekend and onli giving out flyers on weekdays.. and the pay REMAINS the same..

ended up.. on the very actual day.. they told u that "u dun have to come down anymore as ur part is cancelled for the weekday.. and ur pay reduces to 300bucks.." and wait.. the show is at 5pm.. meeting time is at 4.30pm.. and they called at 4.15pm.. and i've done my make up and hair for it.. OEI~ make up no need money one ar??? come on la.. fucking organisers can be more professional ornt? do they acually noe what the fuck is professionalism?? big middle finger to them. and during the preparation for the show, they keep requesting us to change this and change that.. like so WTF?!

i seriously am mad over this.. imagine i paid 200 over for my medical fee.. and now i'm earning 300??? and i work so hard?! seriously am boiling inside X( and i have this fucking sch fee to pay.. i'm short of 500bucks.. i thot after this show i could get to pay my sch fee and left 200 more to replace my medical fee.. now?! i stil have to find money for my fees! damn it! and i onli earn a fucking pathetic 100bucks for doin so much. cant imagine this.. the lowest pay ever for a show.. and wat's worst.. the weekend shows are not onli 1 show ok.. we have to do like 4 or more times a day? 2days = 8 or more times and i earn pathetic 100bucks..

i'm seriously thinking hard should i or should i not go for it.. cheebye.. i'm not goin to train hard i swear.. and i'm not goin to promise i'll be able to be there on thurs for clients fucking "i wanna see the item" NO WAY~ u pay for wat u get.. u pay so low thn so low shall the item be.. dun expect to get a professional dancer here as well since u're not professional urself.. fuck u client.. i hope u get bang down by the car and get ramped over by the train.. i hope u get fuck hard and o hope u have no mothers' day.. ccb!

some thought for my readers..


him: i used to wanna die for someone (someone he used to love)

her: so if i died.. wil u thought of dying too?

him: i dunno..


in this scenario.. which ans will truly make u happy? *touch your conscience and tink pls.. i couldnt make up my mind if i were in his shoe as i was tinking for myself which would make me happier.. if he said "yes" would i be happy cos i noe i meant alot to him? or if he said "no" would i be happy cos i noe he finally took his life seriously and treasure his life? humans are contradicting arent we? guess i'm not a simple nor a complex person..


i'm juz extreme complicated (:

i hate myself for being poor X(
i saw this at bugis and it cost $488 OH-MY-GOD~~~~ X(
nice rite! rahh~ in my dreams wil i ever get this.. @#$%^&%$#@#$%^&^%$#%^&*




good nite..