Melody of my Life..

it's a painful night for me.. totally.. :( firstly was someone whom i called a fren whom i confided in during my breakup.. listened to him and slowly healed myself optimisticly.. someone whom i'll miss if i didnt see him for like more thn a month or so (as a fren or brother).. and just cos of some unknown reason, he chased me out of the fking place where i used to hang out (aft closing hours).. the place where always will accomodate to my timings and likings..

i dunno but i feel sad.. it's like, firstly, i dun frequent there much as often as i used to be, secondly, it's where i call my darts home.. HOME is a very strong word i use.. perhaps to anyone of u it doesnt matter.. but to a homeless person like me, it means alot..

but watever.. i was just purely pissed with that.. wat's worst is below.. :(

i gotta admit that i had a crush on someone recently.. call it eyecandy, or infatuation admirer, i dun reali care.. but somehow or somewhat, he's been running thru my mind ALOTT :( when i wakes up, i tink of him, before i goes to bed, he's there on my mind.. argh...... i feel fucked.. :(

especially when i gotta know that he actually got someone that he is seeing :( arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh heart breaking like totally :( and best part.. i dunno why the fk am i doing.. always trying to be a NICE person :( trying to patch things up between them.. it ALWAYS happen on me :( it breaks my heart to see a "原本可以成功的爱情" turns into dust.. even if it's on someone i fancy.. but at the same time.. my heart hurts a thousand million times :( sigh.. confessing my love is NOT right at this timing when i got to know all these.. but not confessing.. i feel that i'm doin a suicide here :( omg... i wanna strip myself off all emotions :( so that i will never ever feel this way again.. i wanna run from reality.. as far as i can.. argh................. fk............ just die alr iko :(