Melody of my Life..

having damn hangovers =\ went to mox ytd.. with sean, bry and bry's fren regina.. reali drank like mad.. imagine we spent 232bucks there can liao.. haha =X drank venom and mango daiquiri.. YUCKS =\ not nice one.. thot baby would come.. but.. hais.. disappointment.. =( vomitted like mad ytd.. from yiwei n sean la.. lol they told me SOOOOOOO many things that i cant remember lor.. lol!!

we went to the private party at bianco it's a actor's bday.. ok i dunno his name =\ but he's reali HANDSOME!!!! lol =X alottttttttt of artistes are there.. ok yutaki's there too lol!!! OMG la.. he saw me when i'm like superrrrrr drunk =( SIAN! ros there too but didnt see her.. and jamie yeo and vernetta lopez.. woots.. didnt noe that guy so biang lol =X

we bump into him at toilet and he invited us up.. lol! no is FORCE us up.. wahaha! damn funny.. oh and saw bryant.. erm another one.. nabei he say i drunk when i'm onli tips -_- lol!! bianco's f**kin nice la!! looks like pure.. but nicer.. haha.. i cant believe i was that drunk man =\ til now i stil feel the headache and the wanna vomit feeling =\ feelin damn sucky sia.. but aiya who cares! he dun even cares.. hur!

went to town with sean and liyi.. shop alot haha.. and chatted non stop man =\ hahaha! tiring la.. but i very stone lol.. -_- baby's angry with me for ytd.. =( he gave me attitude like FREE la.. ^$%$%*( watever le la.. dunno wat to do also liao.. he also treat me like doesnt exist one.. =( hais.. somehow i tink lo why sia?! it's like we got common interest (entertainment line), same religion, same school (STA).. i dunno la i see alot of common stuff in us.. and best is he's leo! one of the BEST horoscope i like..

but i feel timings' wrong =\ he juz dun see wat i see.. he dun wan wat i wan.. he wans fun.. play n play.. i wan stability.. =( he tinks he's stil young.. but dun he see tat having fun dun involves playin with feelings? dun he noe that BGR this kinda thingy is not suppose to have fun with? he told me he wan to settle down one day too.. but why is he behaving totally unlike wat he said? =
i dunno.. many ask me to give up and juz end it.. =( but i'm stil hoping things would change.. i'm stil hoping for the miracle.. i'm stil holdin on.. i kept praying everyday.. =\ asking god to show me wat exactly is his plan for this? every r/s, god makes me learn something.. stop being a childish girl, dun be so possessive, dun be too sticky, no more emos, no expressway, alot alot.. but this? wat is it? wat's god's purpose for this?

i'm sure it did not happen by chance.. i'm sure baby came into my life not by chance.. am sure there is a purpose.. it's either for me to learn or for him to learn.. or better.. for both to learn.. i dun mind helpin him to learn.. as long as god helps me too.. =\ i need god's help ALOTTTT now!!! i'm so lost that i reali dunno how to move on.. path A or path B?!?! =\ like wat i always say "my doors are locked.. who can unlocked it?" i tink i'm stil in that state.. =\ hais..

god i lay everythin that i have before u.. use it for ur plan.. love is hard to define.. oni god's love is true.. who else wil love me truly? =(