Melody of my Life..

Hmm..
actually i tink about it over n over again.. hha.. but actually hor.. things arent that bad after all.. =) the fact is.. we're STILL TOGETHER! haha~ hmm.. i dunno now.. but i'll open the "cage".. juz give me time.. and u can thn choose to fly n make me sad.. or to stay n cheers me up.. make me happy cos u love me.. dun love me cos u juz wan me to be happy.. and yes.. i'll stil hope.. for my smile to be back.. as in.. i stil hope he'll come back to me.. many of u who read.. may faint.. haha~ but well.. i cannot lie rite.. i reali hope.. i told bing.. "i can feel hope but i cant see them.." she replied.." if u can see them.. it wont be hope!" haha~ yea true! now wat i can do is.. to not TINK! throw everythin behind my brain.. haha.. and maybe who noes.. miracle might happen.. =) he might juz love me again.. afterall the love was there.. if it reali faded.. i shall admit to fate thn.. tat i'm not gd enough for him.. =\ if watever i've done isnt enough.. well too bad thn.. like wat ppl might say.. "u'll onli realise n cherish the things that's lost.." =\ at least i did nt wait til i lost him thn i learn.. well maybe i did.. i was too "ignorant" bout his feelings.. and there i lost him.. =\ but i've learnt.. and am doin everythin i can to be better.. hmm.. like i say.. the fact is we're stil tgt.. and al i can do now is to make him happy.. i noe he'll truly be happy onli if he realise wat he reali wan or need.. tat i cant do anythin.. i can onli do the surface job.. i noe i need n wan him.. but.. it takes 2hands to clap.. yea.. i noe he wanna be love.. am sure of that.. but he is bein love now.. haha~ i tried.. i reali tried to hate him.. but i cant.. =\ not the least bit of hating him.. oopss.. i'm crazily in love AGAIN! ARGH! hmm.. well i can onli say this.. "wil u pick up the debris and love me again..?" i'm waiting for the magical star to fall n grant me my wish.. if onli things werent like this.. maybe i can truly smile.. =) well.. there's bound to be problems behind al happiness.. it's how we see them and overcome them.. =) yea.. it's thru al this we learn.. may we learn tgt.. and hopefully overcome it.. maybe if this prob is gone.. our r/s wil be stronger.. i'm pretty sure of that.. =) well it's stil his choice now.. to hang the smile the on me and keep it ther or to juz steal it and throw away.. haha~ i'll be sad for sure.. if he choose to leave.. but oh well.. like he said so damn fiercely n firmly tat day.. "it's his life..!" he holds the decision now.. i'll juz wait thn.. for the day i can truly smile again.. =) be optimistic.. things wil turn out fine.. (i hope) -praying desperately- God.. pls help.. ur little child is hurtin now.. may u dry her tears n teach her wat to do.. she feels lonely.. she feels empty.. she need the pull from u.. and may u keep her safe from al this.. may this reali be the "problem" behind her true happiness.. may this reali be the happiness u have instored for her.. in jesus name i sincerely pray.. amen!(-_-)