Melody of my Life..

Empty..
went to have breakfast with clover today.. at 6+am.. at chong pang.. hmmm was very ston cos didnt ZzZz.. =\ how to ZzZz liddat man =\ thn we ate n chatted alot.. they keep tryin to cheer me up.. we talk bout the past.. when in sec sch.. i miss it man =\ it's so carefree! hais.. thn today he nv reply my sms =\ i feel f***ing empty sia! =\ it's like OMG he dun even wanna be frens anymore? i'm not even special ALREADY?! he say he stil likes me alot.. dun tell me that's lie also lor.. =\ i hope not ba.. hais.. when watching funkamania i cant get high at all.. =\ my mind's juz very very lost.. but i did see la.. some of them reali gd.. if onli i can be like them.. thn when i was watchin i thot to myself.. are the smiles on them real? are they reali happy? when onstage, u're putting up a show.. to entertain everyone out there.. but when off stage.. wat are them? how are they like? =\ OMG i cant imagine behind al the smiles it's al tears n anger.. =\ hais.. lucky i'm not performin now.. i cant imagine i have to put up a fake smile.. =\ when in train goin to town, i listened to sly's "that's why" i teared.. i never cried in train b4! how can i!!! hais.. reali dunno le la.. my life now.. BIG MESS! i feel that i wan a new life.. and i need it! i feel that my love life i reali should take a longgggggg break.. at least a year? i dun even dare to look at guys now.. it's juz the "I DUN WAN!" feeling.. i thot to myself i wanna juz dance n dance n dance til i drop this year.. no matter wat happen juz dance.. so i have to leave my love life behind.. =\ but i noe it'll be hard for me.. i've been holdin on to this thing called love so damn tightly.. but now have to let it rest.. OMG! hais.. but i know i'll stil love him as much.. i'll stil wait for him.. =\ i noe nothin wil come out of it.. but nvm la.. juz be there lo.. til my rite guy finds me? or til he tinks i'm the one? hais i reali dunno.. i dun deny i stil have false hopes.. =\ i'm stil hoping things wil turn out fine.. but.. aiyo i reali dunno la!!! my god! can i juz be sleeping beauty? juz ZzZz til my guy finds me.. =\ juz watched a video on final fantasy.. OMG i cried terribly! the girl have to lose the guy.. no choice.. well.. i tink life's always liddat ba.. u always cant be tgt with the one u reali love =\ sisi told me ytd.. in ur life there'll be 3guys u'll meet.. 1)the one u love 2)the one who loves u 3)the one u married.. they wil definitely be 3diff guy.. i tink bout it.. yea quite true.. it'll be hard to get al of them the same person.. =\ sad ehh.. hais i'm in a lost land now.. i heard this sentence from dunno where juz now "when one thing is lost.. u'll wanna n have to find it.." ok i'm finding now.. i'm stil tryin my best to find my banana back.. maybe that's the "resting" season i'll give to my love life ba.. in my mind everythin is a dunno now.. hais.. god pls guide me.. -_- i need u now.. hais...