Melody of my Life..

ending.. it's the end.. i fight so much for it n i'm terribly hurt.. i've learn that i muz let go.. when things go wrong.. nv hold on anymore.. he had hurt me totally.. totally shattered.. i'm juz too tired to move on.. like i say.. i'll juz stay and wait.. wait til the day he come back? mabe never.. but i'll juz wait i guess it's the best way to rest.. and to take a break.. i've been hurt straight in a row.. twice.. by 2 diff guy.. i never wan this again and i can never take anymore blows.. i wil be stronger n better.. juz give me time.. he say we can stil be frens.. haha wat a nice thing rite.. fren.. when the hell can frenship end? i never understand it if it ends.. ppl say.. once a fren always a fren i guess it's very true cos.. frenship can never end.. even if u say it had ended.. tink.. wil u stil tink of the somebody? wil u stil care for him/her secretly in ur heart? haha the ans wil be a yes.. no matter how u hate that person.. u'll stil care.. well.. that's frenship i guess.. i dunno wat am i gonna do to our frenship well i guess.. it depends on him totally.. if he can within one day treat me from a lover til a fren who dun even talk i have nothin to say.. i cant stop the way i treat me as nice so fast.. but i wil hold back.. i wil slowly let myself nt to treat him tat gd.. he tinks i treat him as a pet.. a dog.. haha well maybe the way i love him is wrong.. too much of love can drown someone.. it's ok i've learn.. i wil nv treat any guy as gd as i wil.. i wil be the princess in the future.. and well the best part is.. i wont allow myself to love anyone so damn easily anymore.. everythin is a lie.. a lie that makes me fall.. xinwei wil be strong i had build a castle in me made of ice.. who can melt this castle? who wil wanna give his al to melt this castle? this castle onli grant special access to him and him alone.. at least for now.. but no matter wat.. even if next time a guy manage to step into this castle.. that "he" wil stil stay.. he'll forever be in this castle of mine.. cos he lives in me even thou things have ended.. i can say it did not end totally cos he stil lives in me.. everythin he do in his life is stil in me.. al the memories al the love we both once shared wil always be in me.. cos they mean alot.. to hm they maybe something that can be delete, erase or even forgotten.. but like wat he said as well memories stayed in our mind n heart.. forever they'll stay.. unless i lost my memory which i reali wish to.. but.. well.. since they'll stay.. i shall be thankful.. tat's enough le.. that can keep me surviving the next part of my life.. i wanna stop cryin everynite already.. and i hope this ending can help me.. stop missing him and stop loving him.. like him is the maximum i allow myself.. this is tough.. i noe.. but i wil wanna be juz like this.. onli hope he'll come back to me one day.. if we're reali meant to be.. i juz cant believe everythin ended like in 2weeks? haha.. nice huh.. i have a feelin.. we'll somehow continue one day.. well it's onli a feeling.. dun have to hope for more.. bye ppl.. let me rest a few days ba.. the blow is too big for me.. when the person i love actually dislike me already.. from heaven i drop straight to hell.. i'm tryin to stand out of hell now and i believe i can.. trust me ppl.. thanks everyone who had been there for me.. have faith in me.. i'll live better n stronger.. -loves-