Melody of my Life..

2nd post again.. before~ after...

Before Baby 's words**
another emo nite missin my baby again =..( i finally cried feelin pain again.. i dunno why i just had this F up feelin.. it's like last time when we meet i didnt reali spend alot of private time with him thn now i reali wanna spend more private time with him, it's either he cant or i cant.. and i reali hate this~! why do i feel so iritated.. i swear i love him so much that i can die.. but why is my heart so afraid of that hidden somethin?? i dunno wat is it.. but juz afraid.. i'm sorry dear.. but give me time.. i wil give my all to u.. i wan to too~!! but i know i muz understand this.. it's his final year now n the most impt part now.. sisi juz told me sem wil end in mar.. now i wish mar come faster.. thn i can spend more time with him.. omg.. i reali reali love him so much but wat is my heart so afraid of?!!! oh shit i'm cryin so damn terribly tonite again..! argh~! i need a hug.. a tight hug from him.. haix.. no mood to work tml le.. not goin.. n sick too.. hais.. why do god always like to play this kinda things? makin me so sad n emo.. hope it'll be a blessin in disguise ba.. =.....................(

After Baby 's words**
i tink mr jonathan james danker is a magician.. know why? he can made me cry juz by seein his name appeared on my hp screen.. and he can make me smile juz by seein his sms..! amazin huh~ ok i'm crazy already.. few min before now, i was cryin terribly.. tears juz rolled down my cheeks.. extreme jialat kind.. i juz miss him so damn much~!! and i told him bout everythin that i am feelin now.. al the insecurities, "jealousy", faithless me.. but he always seem to be so understandin.. he always know the rite words to say~!! and always brings me outta hell and into heaven.. i feel like another big bag of rocks bein unloaded again.. the feelin is so damn gd.. i juz needhim to be there for me.. not physically(he'll faint) but mentally..i juz needsomeone to be there for me to cry to, for me to share my joy with n to control my temper for me.. and u know.. his each n every single word mean somethin to me.. every word touched me so much.. i never wanna let him go~! now i'm even more sure.. i tink if everyday liddat i'll have to raise my maximum points to 100000000000000percent.. lol~! but he juz reali can assure me that i'll smile to ZzZz each nite.. ever since 7dec2005(not the day we're tgt but the day we know each other), i've been smiling everynite without fail to ZzZz~! tink my mum's gonna tink that i'm crazy la.. haha~! oh ya.. mummy already know bout me n him.. lol~! she onli faint that he cant speak chinese.. lol~! *baby i'm hinting~!* haha~!! when they meet i tink i'll need lots n lotsa water to replenish my saliva lost during translation lol~!! dunno mummy wil like him ornt.. oh oh~ haha but i tink wil la.. such a adorable boy, who dun love~! i'm juz damn lucky i had him~! he's mine ok~!!! lol~!! mine mine mine~! "i love u.." this maybe juz a 3 words sentence tat's always said.. but today.. at this very moment i reali say it n mean it so much to my dear jonathan~! baby i love nobody but u.. (err- clover sharin too wor.. lol)