Melody of my Life..

Within 2hrs u can get nitemare & sweet dreams =\
another nite of 2hours slp =\ i tired to slp at 5am.. but i couldnt.. i listened to my ipod hoping i could fall asleep juz by tinkin n tinkin til i'm tired.. but at 8am i'm stil awake =\ i scolded myself somehow.. and i managed to slp.. thn i had a dream.. a beautiful dream.. ok it's somethin gd bout me n him.. a REALLLLLL gd one.. sweet too.. i dun wanna say it here cos ppl say if dreams were said out it wont come true =\ i was damn damn happy.. but when i open my eyes i look, i realise it's juz a dream =(

i look at the clock again and it's 9am.. i'm like "huh!" cos i thot at least it would be 11 or 12pm.. =\ thn i force myself back to slp again.. listened to my ipod again.. heard the song "zhi xiang jian ni" by rainie yang.. that song made me cant slp even more jialat =\ i love the lyrics.. it's about a stubborn girl who's in love with this guy n she said somethin like no matter wat ur decision is, sorry but i wont give up on loving u.. how sweet yea?

i managed to slp again.. and had this terrible nightmare this time =\ i wanna say it out.. so it wont come true (i hope).. i dreamt that i receive this sms from him sayin somethin like "i dun wanna contact u anymore.. let's juz stop everythin (even as frens)" =...( i woke up.. shocked.. i quickly checked my HP and see if i reali did receive it ornt.. luckily no.. it's juz a nightmare.. well.. i did cry.. over this nightmare.. it's scary! reali scary!!! =( i prayed about it.. askin it not to come true..

thn i couldnt slp again =\ i lie on my bed tinkin alot.. tink bout the future and everythin.. i thot to myself.. wat if he reali nv wanna see me again? wat if he's gonna leave me like wat happened in my nightmare? no no no! i dun wan!!! he said wat i've done by drink and al the nonsense had scare him =\ i hate myself.. i seriously do.. i hate myself for not bein able to be strong.. i hate myself for dunnoh ow to take care of myself.. i hate myself.. for everythin =(

al i wish for.. is juz bein able to go out with him.. as frens =( watchin movies which we wanna catch.. our MOS trip.. goin home tgt after dance practices at esplanade =\ but wil al this be possible? i wil hide my feelings.. juz to make al these happen.. =( i like him.. yes i do.. but i shall not say or show.. i shall hide it.. from now.. juz dun let our frenship get ruin.. i dun wanna be a not special someone to him.. =( have to go out le.. byebye.. =..............(

-worries filled my empty heart.. nightmares pls go.. sweet dreams i hope u'll come true..-