Melody of my Life..

..Hmm..
juz read my fren's blog.. wow! love.. haha.. so powerful.. =\ he love her so deep.. but i truly understand how he feels.. how shitty things were in his life.. at least for the past a month or so.. but now i'm over n done with i felt a great relieve.. hmm like some of his frens told him.. when u love someone the most impt thing is to see him/her happy.. not that u al are tgt and u're the one smiling nt the other party.. oh well.. guess i have to learn this back.. in the past i know this and am dyingly stickin with that.. but for some unknown reasons i've changed into a sucky person.. selfish n dunno wat's love.. =\ but maybe it's stil nt too late to learn it back =) i admire the way my this fren thinks n doin things.. he wanted to give up dance! WANTED to i mean.. but luckily he did not.. he's sucha great dancer! haha.. thank god things got into him real fast =) and am glad that things are better for him now =) hope he'll be able to get out of the "sadding" period and reali move on in life real well =) he uses dance to hide his feelings.. and said it's nt gd cos it's temporary hidings.. but to me.. i tink it's a gd way.. see.. i use it to hide my feelings as wel.. and see how GREAT i've improved =) haha! i take it as a real hard push to be a better dancer.. and here i am.. a better dancer a better person.. be it in my thinkings or my actions.. i've learn alot.. i've learn to control my temper better, i've learn to be patient with things n human.. i've learn how to control my emotions.. i've leanr how to be strong.. =) shirley commented on me few days back.. that i'm so much better now.. no more saddy saddy loves.. no more emos.. haha.. i dun deny i do stil get emos nites.. haha.. but at least i noe how to control them n handle them better =) i've grown alot.. again i guess =) haha! oh.. and i've learn how ppl tinks.. how ppl react to bad n gd situations.. it's gd thou.. at least i can learn the many different ways of how human thinks and maybe i can deal with PR better.. haha.. now i turn back and look at myself al these years.. the past 18years of my life.. i see the stupid xinwei, the unreasonable xinwei, the bad xinwei and the gd one.. haha.. am glad the gd xinwei til exist and the bad ones are like 80% gone! haha! i dun mean i'm perfect.. but at least i'm better =) and the more sad things i go thru, the more i learn to cherish each and everyone of my frens.. i've seen the true ones and the fake ones.. i noe who to keep and who dun have to keep.. ppl often say "fren we dun need many.. juz a few true one that stays is more thn enough.." yea i strongly agrees with that! ppl whom i used to tink that are real frens have proven to me they're nt.. they're juz some temporary frens that happens to be in my life.. oh well.. juz have happy memories in me ba.. =) and i heardthis from ivy.. "we live is to awaits for death.. why live sadly n wait for death? juz be happy n end ur life peacefully when the day comes.." true! very very true! i'm like so damn worry-less for anythin else now.. except for my results and dance life =) haha! results' out this fri! OMG.. =\ nvm.. am nt gonna tink bout it.. haha! thn fri wil come by faster lol! when i read his blog, i see how much he missess her.. and i tink of myself i ask "who do i miss?" haha.. reali no one came to my mind.. as in no one more thn a fren.. noe that kinda feelin? when u specially miss someone like crazy hn that's the person u like al the shit.. but now reali no one strikes me.. haha! ppl that strikes me are clovers, my sec sch buncha guys, VIP.. no one else.. hmm maybe it's gd.. let me reali make my word and let my "love" side of me rest.. have a gd rest baby =) u're tired enuff.. if a guy happens to come by, and if u tink it's rite, accept him.. BUT! never to put in so damn freakin much ever again.. til the day when u see truth.. and i mean REAL truth.. haha! eugene told me this.. never to put in 100% no matter how long u al are tgt.. cos u nv noe wat'll happen the very next min.. i regret nt listening to his advice when i was with that someone.. =\ but nvm la.. it's a lesson learnt =) to avoid gettin hurt.. this is the best way.. why tie myself down when i'm like so young? haha.. sound very not xinwein huh.. ;p but i tink that mentality is rather true.. but of cos i wont be that kinda girl who are attach and go around F**king guys up or wat la duhhh.. haha.. i'm stil the lovey lovey xinwei who dreams bout my mr perfect everyday.. who dreams bout sweet r/s and al that la.. haha.. that's juz me.. cant change ;p but it's juz dreamin haha! when it come true thn say ba.. not for now i guess.. juz wait.. haha.. now's the time where i hit on my dance n make sure my life's gettin on the rite path.. =) it's gettin better now.. and i see alot of obstacles infront of me for me to overcome.. there's like soooooo many performances, battles, competitions.. blah blah blah.. but it's gd! it's time for it! and i should be ready for it.. if nt i'll nv be ready.. =) take it as another hard oush on me to climb to another level =) even thou for the coming battle i noe we'll lose.. hello who nv fall before they succeed rite? haha.. i'm giving myself 3years! oh.. i'm left with 2 and 1/2years lol.. to be a successful dancer.. a gd one at least to be able to put up a gd show and earn ppl's respect =) i wanna go japan and be a dancer there.. by 2008 july 16.. i muz be there! haha! =X a challenge for myself.. gonna work real hard for it! nd am sure with the burning passion in me.. i can reach it!! hey so for al fellow dreamers out there with watever dreams u have, work it baby! =) nothin is impossible! have more confident in yourself cos u r better thn u tink! =) but dun overdo it and become a yaya papaya pls! i hate them! haha! wow.. wat a long blog i post hahaha! if u managed to read til here, i respect u!!! lol! take care everyone! -loves-