Melody of my Life..

sometimes i wonder.. am i a freak.. =\ i feel that everyone who loves me felt stressful.. i dun wan to.. i reali dun wan to.. =\ my purpose is to make everyone ard me smile.. be happy and enjoy my presence.. =\ but if my presence makes anyone feel stressful or sad.. i rather leave =\ i dun wanna lose anyone thou.. especially the one i love.. i reali dun wan.. but seems like i'm losing them.. =\ oh god.. can u teach me how not to hurt anyone or can teach me to make ppl smile? and truly smile i mean.. i can be the clown.. i can be the fool.. i dun wanna be selfish anymore.. i juz wan ppl to be happy ard me.. that's all.. is it that hard? i see smiles goin away.. i see frowns coming.. i dun wan!! i can frown whole day to myself.. juz to see them happy.. God.. i'm damn lost now.. can u teach me how to make ppl smile? can u give me the power to cheer ppl up? can u give me the magical power to steal ppl's frown and replace it with a smile? =\ i feel shitty now.. oh man.. GOD GOD GOD!! i need u! guide me pls.. teach me! hurhur.. i'm cryin for u.. i'm cryin terribly for ur help.. ur guidance.. i'm juz like a lost sheep.. why why why! why are all these happening to me? how can i get outta this and smile seeing everyone beside me smile? i need help..

i'll leave.. if i have to.. aint gonna be a stubborn ass anymore..