Melody of my Life..

NONSENSE..(next time see any title called "nonsense" try not to read la ok.. might have side effects)
running away wont help.. this is al i have to say.. actually did talk to him bout some stuffs.. wont wanna say much here thou.. and it's true when ppl say as time goes by u'll start seeing human's flaws.. i saw his.. alot in fact.. =\ but like wat irene say.. "no one is perfect" true.. it onli depends on how we see it and how we think it is..

he got his flaws.. and gd points too.. i myself too.. in fact.. i have MANY flaws! chatted with jon n somehow he hit me with this idea.. i'm too hard n strong on things.. like.. somehow i always try to rush things.. maybe that's me.. cos i dun like to leave probs unsolved.. maybe nt reali probs.. but when i dun feel gd.. i'll tend to wanna do somethin bout it.. and thus leads to wat i always do "too hard" on things..

sadly.. that's my biggest flaw for now.. irene too said that "A always have wat B dun have.. n B always have wat A lacks of" maybe that leads to another lesson.. which is "stay contented".. i start to see myself gettin greedy.. =\ i wan more more n more.. it's nt obvious.. but i noe it's in me now.. and i needa remind myself "STAY CONTENTED!"

i'm stressin myself so much recently til i reali cant breathe anymore =\ over dance, myself, him, the past, my sch.. blah blah.. so many nonsense! and i worry bout them so much til i also dunno wat i'm worryin.. =\ it's like.. "wth is so stressful about?" but seriously am gettin abit stressful over dance.. =
yutaki have high hopes.. and i feel that i'm letting him down =\ i needa change my attitude.. i need to!!! in fact we al need to..! i wish i can do EVERYTHIN in the world.. to make everyone smile.. but no.. i cant! i need to tell myself "xinwei.. u're nt god!" guess i have to be more selfish.. tink of onli myself n no one else.. =\ maybe i have neglected myself so much.. i didnt love myself as much as ever.. as in the longggggg time ago me..

i love myself last time cos watever i do, as long as i'm happy.. but now i feel that i love everyone else more thn myself.. =\ i shud stop this.. everyone on earth's selfish.. i bet it is! so i guess i muz be selfish too.. if i dun love myself.. who wil? i wish i can turn back time.. seriously.. i wish to turn back alllll the way til b4 i met him.. =\ i'm nt running away.. but it juz feels gd to juz seeing him.. not knowin him.. maybe it'll bring less worries..

cos at that time.. the biggest worry is "ehh dance how ar?" that's al.. and at the most is "wil he come today?" =\ emi wil noe wat i mean la.. maybe the next time i got a eyecandy i wont wanna noe him =\ to prevent further mess, i shall not look at guys anymore!!!! =X i knew it man! that time i told emi they al i dun wanna look at guys le.. not even LOOK!

but stil i saw him =\ and indeed.. things came to tis mess.. AGAIN.. =\ i knew it man.. i reali muz STOP myself lookin at guys.. shud look at myself more so i can love myself.. =X haha.. anyway peeps.. got a BIGGGGGGGGGGGG warning for u al.. =\ i tink i'm having PMS now =\ terrible one.. so my moodswings very jialat now le wor.. might talk alot of emo nonsense n purely nonsense.. if i lose my temper at u, i'm sorry ok.. and if i get pissed, juz leave me alone ok.. i'll be fine after my PMS season's over.. =
-xinwei u bitch! he's juz a eyecandy! y let it affect u more n more?! stop holdin onto the feeling in u! let it fade! fade al it can! he dun care thn u dun care la! stupid girl!-