Melody of my Life..

FRUCKS!
i juz wanna kill myself now! roar! noe what! he actually bought me stuff and come al the way to my blk to juz pass it to me =\ wait wait.. not the HIM i've been talkin bout.. it's juz another him.. noe who? that "J"??? yesh him.. not my ex ok.. that another JJJJJJJ! i hate that alphabet! =\ OMG la! why muz he made me feel like a bitch! i hate to reject ppl.. i hate to hurt ppl.. but.. i got no choice!!!!

oh yes.. he's gettin married.. nice huh.. having a gf there and yet tryin to keep another one outside.. ROARRRRR! i hate him! how can he do this kinda things behind his gf? OMG.. frucks! i tried to treat him better.. as in juz a fren.. a nice fren.. go out with him n al.. to make him feel better.. cos i noe.. when u like someone u juz wish to see that person.. nothin much.. i did try ok! but no! it did not work out that way..

wahhh! feel like juz disappear AGAIN! i wish i can run from al nonsense.. i noe he's sweet la.. doin al this lil things for me.. i noe al that! and i aprreciate it! but NO that's not the way! if he's nt attach maybe i'll be nicer to him.. by sayin a real nice NO sorry.. but now is different! he's playin his gf's heart! and not tht i didnt tell hmi nicely b4.. i did.. i did reject him b4.. but.. rahhhhh i dunno la.. juz kill me ba..

i admit i was touched.. but it's different la.. aiyo.. in fact he made me realise i miss another HIM more =\ the instant i receive his call and tell me he's at my blk.. the first thing that hit me is "why is it u? why not him?!" it did not make me feel better.. in fact it made me feel worst! it's reali shitty when the one is not the one u wish it is.. =\ damn sucky! i reali wish he dun force me to say the word "fuck u" out =\ i dun wish to hate anyone..

i juz resolved the hatrad in me towards my ex.. and i dun wish to hate again.. pls dun make me hate u! i dun wish to.. i dun wish to be cruel.. i dun wish to hurt u further.. sayin hurtful words killed me too ok.. and if u're readin.. =\ like i said.. like i've told u.. i'm waiting for him.. HIM N HIM ALONE.. happy? noe the truth le? u said u dun mind.. u said u'll be happy juz lovin me..

but HELLO! love is a BIG word here.. u can onli love 1person.. not 2! and love means u happy n me happy.. but no! i'm NOT happy! u wanna noe wat can make me happy? u sure u wanna noe? fine! it's him.. can? he dun have to do big things for me.. in fact he dun have to do anythin for me.. juz a smile and i can be happy whole day.. and i can thn do everythin so well.. not u.. i'm sorry.. u wanna noe so i'm juz bein damn straightforward n tell u..

u said it's impossible i'll like him for long since we juz noe each other.. u said u'll sure touched me one day.. NOOOOO! pls stop that mentality of urs!! for heaven's sake! feelings is nt about the length.. it's about so much other things.. if u can say that thn i shud say back to u.. it's impossible that u'll like me long.. since u fell for me when we noe each other like 3days? i can tell u damn straightforwardly.. i like him.. n him alone.. stop tellin me wat to do.. n pls pls pls.. save the money n time for ur gf.. she's UR gf not me.. i dun nid u.. pls pls.. get out.. get lost.. i need time to cool down.. b4 everythin turns into hatrad u better leave me.. thanks..

-by doin wat u did u juz made me realise i like him more n more.. thank u for bein nice to me.. but fuck u for makin me missin him more.. u brought up the pain in me again!-