Melody of my Life..

Nonsense..
i'm gonna type nonsense as of now.. i'm goin crazy n need a space to throw my nonsense out.. can choose not to read if u dun wan to.. thanks.. regardin to my previous post.. emi wan me to nt feel lonely.. lol.. ok.. i'm not lonely *i hope* =\ hais.. juz feelin down today la.. like everythin dun seem to go my way.. maybe i reali shudnt wish for anythin.. shudnt hope shudnt plan.. maybe i'll feel better.. =\ reali dunno wat am i thinkin now.. guess i need to rest my mind from al the thinkins.. of goin sch.. gettin into watever course.. him.. who.. shit.. rahh! al the nonsense.. shud rest le.. reali tired n drained out..

emi told me she can see that yutaki's reali serious about us.. yes i agree.. i can see from his face.. it's like i ask him "wat's raggae?" juz a casual question and he showed me and even teach the class! it's like.. lil lil details watever we ask, he'll show.. he's reali teachin us watever he can.. i feel that i've let him down.. =\ by not giving my all.. i thot it was my all.. but no.. if it's my all i wont get affected by any other things..

i juz wish that yutaki can be more fierce.. can juz scold me til i wake up my bloody mind =\ i'm like in the half sleep mode everyday =\ juz tryin to live my life as it comes.. felt like a loner.. dun worry ppl.. not u al afect me.. i juz feel that way.. its like.. i'm always alone.. jon told me b4 he's a loner.. but no.. a true loner is me.. =
so wat if i have many frens? so wat if many ppl likes to be my fren? i stil feel lonely.. =\ maybe this is wat the word "greed" means.. maybe this sentence makes sense now "even if u give me the world, i stil have nothin"

enough of nonsense i guess.. i might be talkin nonsense now.. my mind's goin heywire reallllll soon.. =\ ROARRRRR! *dang* -faint- (_-_)

emi got me this juz now.. it's a part of the song "never had a dream come true"..

Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow could never be
Cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
All this, I know, but still I cant find ways to let you go..

very true! seems like i reali lost my sense of time.. =\ like i say my mind's goin heywire.. memories of that 2 pathetic weeks stil filss my mind til date =\ no use lookin back.. TRUE! no use wonderin.. TRUE! i stil cant let go.. hais.. i can act al i wan.. i can put up a fake front in front of everyone.. but the truth is stil the truth after al.. for once.. i hate truths.. hais..

-wil things be the same again? miracles do happen rite? but never on me.. hais.. i miss u =...( -