Melody of my Life..

honestly i'm tired.. very tired of everything.. i'm so tired that i chose to give up and walk away since he doesnt even wanna do anything about it.. i guess sometimes human gets tired too.. i'm not a supergirl.. i'm not a superwoman.. i'm really tired of everything.. al the hanging there and wild imagination.. my brain can no longer take anything like that anymore.. i feel so.. drained.. like i told them.. someone ask me whether is this really the end? i say i guess so.. i really feels like giving up and walk away.. i feel he's drifting away from me.. when we were at BF, he's juz standing beside me.. but i feel he's so far away... we're like so near yet so far..

now this later that.. my heart's cant be as strong as any other girls can be.. everytime i wish he's here he isnt.. i told someone i dun even feel loved at all.. sometimes i wonder.. was i even in the same league as him? are we living in the same world? things changed so much since we first met.. and it had onli been about a month or so.. i'm kinda seeing history repeating itself.. some history that i never wanna have again.. i dunno how to go on.. how to move on?

i dun wanna be the emo iko again.. i dun wanna sulk my life away again.. i wanna climb out of the well of emo and i never wanna be sad again.. J had helped me get out of it once.. i know i can do it! i'm born a emo girl.. yes indeed.. but i know al need to do is to tell myself "love is not everything" i've been telling myself these kinda stuff few days back as i got a damn feeling i'm losing him soon.. this time.. i wont be silly enough to hurt myself again.. i wil choose to walk away before he does.. since i cant give him wat he wans, and watever i do doesnt reali helps.. i guess i'll let go..

someone told me.. it'll be his damn lost if he lost me.. oh well.. maybe.. but to him if he doesnt noe how to cherish me than so be it.. i wan someone that cherishes me as much as i cherishes them.. i wan someone that trust me and loves me.. i need someone that holds my hand and guide me along my path of darkness.. i need someone that never give up on me.. bring back my smile and keep it there..

i guess i've done al i can to keep this going.. watever he doesnt like i stop.. i chose to do everything i can for him.. i chose to do everything i can to help this r/s grow.. but i alone cant make anything work.. i alone cant do everything.. he need to work along with me.. is he willing? i dunno..

when things are meant to be they'll be
i hate to lose u
but if it's not meant to be
i'll let go..