Melody of my Life..

had some reflection and came to realise alot of things.. perhaps in the beginning i shouldn't even have tried to change anything of him.. not letting him meet his frens not letting him doin alot of stuffs which he usually does.. but of cos most of the things i wish he change is for his own good as well.. but i guess i've push him too hard.. things have come to wat it's like today, i play a big role in it too.. in a r/s there's no such thing as one sided's fault ba.. i was thinking wat if in this r/s, i just let him have his own freedom and dun voice out my unhappiness.. i just let him have things his way.. i guess things would have ended up like this as well ba.. it's hard to balance =\ learning how to give n take equally is hard ): rena mention one thing that reali makes sense.. if someone loves u, he/she will automatically change for u without u requesting.. this is natural.. and i truly believe in it.. perhaps we both were too firm on our own stand ba.. alot of misunderstanding were caused and thus creating alot of quarrels. communications through sms or msn kinda sucks as words can be misunderstood.. sigh~ i no longer noe wat to do now.. feeling kinda empty and lost rite now and was having terrible sleep lost =\ waking up every few minutes to see if he did reply.. waking up to see if it's him who came home.. waking up to emptiness knowing that i've lost him.. rena mention that losing this r/s is kinda waste as she felt that it's all misunderstanding and we're both too chong dong.. hmm i guess we both have too high ego and pride ba.. it just seem that we cannot let our ego down and try communicating properly.. i admit i'm very hot tempered too and i tend to be very chong dong saying things i dun mean as well.. it's reali kinda pity.. but oh well.. it takes two hands to clap ba.. if he chose to let go, there's basically nothing i can do as well.. guess we're both tired and drained.. i've pressured him too much and he's been trying to run away from the pressure too.. it's time to rest..

truly..
i miss u..