Melody of my Life..

dun reali wanna blog this time as this marks the end of our r/s :( i know we've just patch back not long ago but on the 7th, baby left me again :( things were different.. thou we were very sweet n happ yon our first day of patch but days after that, i guess baby no longer loves me.. this break up was due to baby's feeling faded.. sigh~ something i never wanted it to happen.. i did not hold him back too cos i noe he wants his freedom back.. i granted him his wish and let go.. sigh~ i miss him so.. this 2 days i've been a living dead.. waking up to emptiness, keeping myself drunk in tears.. crying to slp and waking up crying.. seriously.. it's hell i'm goin through :( i know i have to be strong and overcome this.. i have to let him go totally.. but it's reali hard.. i felt there were so much we've not done tgt.. there's stil so much i wanna achieve with him.. i wants to walk his life with him goin through every single thing be it happy or sad.. sigh~ without me by his side, i worries for him lots.. how is he doin? did he eat well, slp well? is he safe? is he happy? sigh~ packed my room this noon and seeing all the stitchy he got for me reali is heart wrenching :( looking at everyone single one of them reminds me of the moment he gave them to me.. especially the biggest one when he caught for me at his bday chalet.. i was soundly aslp and he just stuff it in my arms.. with a kiss from him and stroke on my head he left for bowling.. i was such a happy girl.. but it's all gone now :( i dunno wat am i waiting for.. stayin at home hoping one of the keys sound were from him.. waiting for him to return to me one day where we could start all over again.. but i know the moment i agreed to the break up, i've lost him forever.. sigh~ my heart reali sours knowing he's no longer by my side.. my heart reali sours knowing i could never call him baby anymore :( tinking back on all the quarrels we had.. it was reali dumb :( i should have seen the picture clearer earlier.. things might be different now.. troy has shifted back home due to some issues as well.. now this room is only filled with memories of us playing fight.. the laughters and screams that fills this room will be gone.. now back to this empty room i'm all alone again.. i wish to see him.. badly.. i wish to hug him badly.. i wish him by my side again badly.. but i guess i have to hold myself back.. memories are wat's left.. i'll cherish them.. it's our 2nd month anni this sat.. thot we could have a good day tgt.. but i guess it's a never :( i'm not gonna celebrate my bday as well.. it's a sad birthday month.. hais~ i miss him so..

if only you'll be back..
i'll be ur gd girl n never make u angry again..