Melody of my Life..

It's been awhile since i last post. alot of ups and downs have happened for the past 3 months since i was away from my blog. Apr 17th, i've found my love. someone whom made me felt so special. Everything goes smoothly, sweet, nice, simple.. work at MBS was nice too. very fascinating and very nice new frens. but May 20th, i officially lost my job as a dealer thanks to CRA. i got no idea why they fail me and appealing is STILL in progress. after that, it's a nice long rest for a month with bf. started looking for job like crazy cos think of my house rent, tink of mum, tink of my future with bf. and now, got a job and signing the agreement this friday at Tangs as a CS. Just had a tiff with bf over some issues. to him, i'm a irresponsible, selfish gamer gf who totally dun tink of his feelings at all. to me, i'm just being who i am. i was bored stiffen at home. audi acc got banned, started mapling and kinda get hook without knowing. and bf snapped. wanted to go get some rest now but brain is filled with rights and wrongs. trying to find out why things can turn like this so suddenly. he dun like to express himself, or rather, he dun reali noe how to express himself. and so do i. maybe even worst on my part. i'm not use to saying "ily" anymore. i'm not use to being all sweet and mushy anymore. wondering where have that part of me gone to. sigh. decided to shift home so as not to piss him further. a lesson i learnt from stanley in sec sch when he n his ex gf had a tiff. "separation might not be a bad thing in a r/s. being separated helps both to realise how much place they stand in each others' heart. if by being separated, and you doesnt miss that someone as much, it simply means u're not in love." his r/s was reconciled by a short separation. but anyway.. yup, i'm packing my stuffs now. kinda emo but oh well, i'm a 23 yr old adult that shud not waste time on being emo anymore :) just a short story to share...



Girl A : Why must there be quarrels in a r/s?

Girl B : Well, love in not the power of everything in this universe. Afterall, humans are selfish creatures. We come alone and leave alone. We live for ourselves and we die for ourselves.

Girl A : But isnt there a saying "love overcomes all"?

Girl B : sometimes it does. But most of the time it doesnt. in this cruel society we live in, with all the stress and this fast pace, we're not allowed to waste time on being all lovey dovey. And also, Love does not consist of only happiness and laughters. It consist a high percentage of anger and sadness as well.

Girl A : But.. why?! when you love someone, dont you just wan the person to smile and be the happiest person on earth? and when the someone is with you, arent u the happiest person as well?

Girl B : yup. but reality are stil reality. the world still spins no matter wat happen. humans comes with emotions and humans are very weak against stress. humans hates things which make them in the losing spot and thus, anger or sadness sets in. human tends to do things without using their tiny brain and regret in the end.

Girl A : But to me i still believe that true love overcomes all.

Girl B : True love only happens when both human totally accepted one another's way of living and handling things. It's very rare. in fact, i'd say it has extinct.

Girl A : Well, if you believe, it'll come to you one day :)

Girl B : I'm starting to stop believing..



which person is having the right definition of love? Girl A who is a die hard lover? or Girl B who stop believing in love? btw sry for the lousy story, this story was in my confuse mind. i dunno which is right now. i wan to trust and believe. but i was proven wrong. so wrong right in my face. talking about marriage without realising all this? it hurts.. thank god i did not jump right into it. i know i dun wanna lose him. but if being tgt makes him unhappy, i rather let go. i'm not good at expressing myself. which ended up confusing myself and having unnecessary ups and downs. oh well. nearly 3month.. our dreams, our future, are they crushed? hmm.. or there wasnt even "us" to begin with? lost~

it's torturous.
you think i like this life?
No i dun..
But u'd never understand.
you didnt even try..