Melody of my Life..

who knows when will it be?

just having some thots that got me al emo-ed up.. so decided to dump my emo-ness out here in my rubbish blog ^^ on the way home, i asked him this.. "why u so hong?" ok i noe it's a "WTF" kinda thing to ask.. but this question reali rings in my head and i guess it's the main thing that caused this insecurity in me.. he was a hongster (for sure).. but he said he's cutting down..

i cant help but to wonder.. why cut down? i mean.. why is it ONLY cutting down? hmm~ i noe i shud give him more time to reali cut OFF totally.. i'm not complaining! i'm juz.. ranting on my rubbish bloggy =x how long wil it take? or rather.. wil it actually be cut off? (i wonder) it definitely dun feel gd seeing the word "dear" on ur own bf's phone when the person that texted that is not u.. it certainly cant helped but made my mind wonder off in lalaland again even if i dun wish to..

trust.. need to be build.. trust.. is something VERY important in a r/s.. trust.. is al i need to make things work.. it's al that's needed to remove the insecurity in me.. i know i need to build that trust.. i need to get that ASAP before everything crumples down.. who'd help me along with the construction of that foundation of trust? will you..? it's weird how i can actually love him YET not trust him fully.. it's weird in fact.. how i can actually fall for a hongster or ex-hongster to begin with =\

i wish one day that i can proudly shout to the entire world that "he belongs to me ALONE" i wish one day i can trust him so much that even if were apart, i wont feel lonely.. this is al i wished for.. i tend to let my imagination run very wild.. i tend to make myself worry for nothing and i know i'm VERY famous for creating trouble between me n my bf over nothing.. yes i noe it's dumb when i noe yet i do it.. but i cant help it! :(

RAHHHHHHH~

dumb dumb iko~ dumb dumb me~
may the goddess of trust and security shines on me.. amen~