Melody of my Life..

it's been long since i hit a few keys here.. just to update those who reads my blog to get themselves updated bout me.. for the past few weeks, i've been a very happy girl.. like ive said bout me meeting a few biker frens who bring me go round and round.. indeed it was a good experience.. and for ur info.. i'm attached to one of them.. aka jeremy.. he's someone that i swear i can never let down.. he treats me so well that even me myself am convinced that good guy stil exists.. it's been about 2 weeks since we've been together.. honestly.. for the past 2 weeks or so, i've been a VERY happy girl..

being with him made me realise wat's the real true love.. being with him honestly made me know wat it means by "accepting the one u love FULLY" when i go crazy, he stil loves me.. when i get my bad temper,he stil accepts me.. when i get ugly/get fat, he stil loves me.. wat else can i ask for? this is definitely more thn enuff for a bf.. i can never ask for more.. he never throw his temper at me and he never made me feel unhappy.. the only problem here is that i stil misses K.. i dun wish to.. but wat else can i do? =( i honestly had tried my best to forget everything bout us.. i've spent everyday, every hour, every min with jer and honestly, i'm happy being that way..

the only thing that i'm afraid of is that when one day i faced K i'll get all F-king emo and al the emo nonsense wil strike back.. and KNN it does!!!! ARGH~ today.. jovi celebrated his bday at VD.. and just as i've thot that K wil be there =.= and yeap.. he's there.. *sigh* before goin to VD, i was thinking bout wat the hell wil happen when we meet.. wat the hell wil he say when we meet.. honestly if he didnt say things regarding us, i wil stil be able to control my emo-ness and keep everything in control.. but it was til he said something regarding us, i broke down..

i couldnt face anyone at that point of time and thank god sueann's there.. so obviously she knew wat happened and she hugged me tight and there i cried.. i wasnt crying for the sake of K nor jer.. i was just plainly lost and didnt know wat the F am i doin.. thus the tears rolled.. roy asked me to think carefully who treats me better and who suits me more.. the answer i gave was honestly cruel and straight in the face.. of cos.. i chose jer.. in the first place, i never felt in the same "league" as K :( our family background, our thinking, our brought up etc.. are all DIFFERENT!! =\ we're way too different.. thus the frequent communication breakdown occurs..

the reason for the breakdown today has alot! i swear.. firstly.. my ex-best fren couldnt recognised me.. or rather.. she did but didnt bother to even say a "HI" :( secondly, my dearest darling fairy aint feeling anywhere near good (P&C), thirdly, the meeting of him =\ and lastly.. I GOT NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!!!! X( thus al these plus tgt = ULTIMATE BREAKDOWN OF IKO =\ *sigh*

i reali dunno wat else to say now to either of them.. the only thing i can say to K is that u didnt cherish me while u could and for my character and own philosophy, i know that i will not turn back to ppl who didnt heed my advice and get the hint i left.. i gave u alot of chance.. but u just didnt cherish them and at the same time, i got tired.. i choose to leave.. who knows whether i wil regret leaving ornt.. but honestly.. i didnt wish to care anymore.. it's far too tiring having to act someone that i'm not and it's far too tiring to keep trying to maintain the r/s with ALL i have.. like i've said before.. i'm a girl and i need to be loved more thn i love.. how could i take it when i'm the one who always try to give in to u?!

i'm sorry.. i've left.. thanks for al the nice memories we've once shared and here wish u all the best.. we could stil be frens once again unless u chose not to.. it was nice meeting u again but next time pls dun drink so much again.. u shud noe ur own limit and u shud stay far away from ur limit.. dun make ppl who cares for u worry.. take care of urself and all the best =)

and as for myself, i know i wil be stronger that ever and stand up for myself.. no worries ppl.. all i wish now is to get back to my dance, my studies, my stupid PP and of cos may my r/s be smooth sailing.. oh not forgetting, my online audition =XXX recently am DAMN into it AGAIN =X hehe~ wish me al the best in everything i wish to put my time into yea? *smiles*

the pain in me
no one understands..
*sigh*