Melody of my Life..

Just when I chose to walk away, u tell me u wan me back.. how do u expect me to accept al this? Humans leaves when they see things are in vain.. it’s just human nature.. applies to me as well.. I’m a girl.. I need someone to love me.. someone to care for me.. I’m tired of waiting and fear of losing u.. every single minute I’m thinking “he’s with another girl” or “he might be happily talking to another girl” what am I to u actually? Til now I stil dunno..

How can u say u wan me and stil loves me when u can walk out on me over something so minor? Doesn’t that says that u dun love me enough to want me that much? now I think back.. why do I have to go thru al the sufferings for nothing? I did nothing wrong during the days with u but yet u chose to let me go.. u broke this heart and killed it totally.. someone came and tell me that u stil loves and care bout me..

How do u expect me to accept that?? Ur ego and ur own confusion have totally lost me.. that’s y I always say “cherish” but u didn’t! u failed to keep me when I’m stil straying around at ur door.. u failed to hold me back.. this few weeks of ignorance have totally totally lost me.. and if u reali wanted me that much, why do u keep asking me to move on? Why do u keep pushing me away and onli to tell me now u wan me? Dun u noe there’s a song “too little too late”?

I’ve been suffering al these while when u left me.. I’ve been waiting for something which seems hopeless.. I didn’t mind and just kept waiting for u to turn at least to look at me.. but u didn’t.. u kept me hanging.. “I dunno” is al I get when I raised our issue.. what do u expect me to do? Keep on stayin til I get old and not to have any happiness? I’m sorry.. I’ll say again.. I’m a girl and I need love..

Since u chose ur ego over me.. since u chose to hang me there n not giving me a answer, since u chose to let me go that day.. I guess like wat u’ve said before “we’re just not meant to be”

Sometimes I really wonder.. what the hell have I done, to deserve al these? To lose the one I once truly loved with al my heart.. to lose my emotions al in one night.. to cry myself to slp everynite and to make my life go down down down.. I was never a player.. never even intended to be one.. I wasn’t even a raider that goes ard slping with every guy I noe.. I may sound thick skin here but I’m stil gonna say this..

I’m a girl that can be a good girlfriend.. I’m someone that can shower u with love and concern.. I’m someone that stays more faithful than a dog to it’s master.. I’m someone that can do anything.. and I mean ANYTHING for the one I love.. but why?? Why do I stil get al the unfair treatment? Why do I get pushed around like nobody’s business and when I chose to give up, the one always turn back and say they wan me back??

Humans honestly failed to realize who are the precious ones and who they’re suppose to cherish.. they are the ones who ruin their own happiness.. blame no one! But ur own ego.. maybe I’m not good enough for u.. I have a UGLY past and I smoke and I drink which u hate a lot.. I guess there’ll be many girls dying to be with u out there for u to choose..

go ahead.. u dun have to worry for me anymore.. I know perfectly well how to take gd care of myself.. and what can be worst? How more hurt can I be when my heart had totally been shattered by al the breakups al these while? Guys after guys.. I fell in love and gets dumped like a old toy.. my heart can no longer feel.. bring back my heart.. in one piece.. promise not to break it.. and I’ll be yours.. who wil u be? I have no idea..

I’ve never felt any of my broken r/s is a waste.. but this time I felt it.. who let who down? Who is the one that throw this r/s away? It’s a grey line I guess..but whatever will be, will be.. if we’re truly meant for one another, may fate bring us back together one day..

Once again.. sorry to have been bugging u and making u feel bad or sad over me.. it’s ok now.. everything’s fine.. and I’ll be strong to be myself once again.. I’m loving my life and loving everyone ard me.. frens are al I have left and I wil cherish them til the end.. even thou I’ve been betrayed by love umpteen times, I stil trust in it.. may u trust in love too.. may u find someone that’ll love u as much as I did and someone that u’ll cherish too.. may she be there for u whenever u need her and may u do the same.. may she guide u out of all ur confusion and tamed the devil within u..

All these.. I tried.. and failed.. so I’m back to square one to where I originated from.. the iko that everyone once know.. the ever happy ever cheerful everyone knows.. I dun wish to wear a mask again.. faking my smiles in front of u and everyone else.. hiding my pain deep within me.. the feeling simply is unbearable.. trust me when I say that.. cos I’ve been thru it farrr too deeply.. may happiness finds u soon.. and not forgetting.. may happiness finds me too..

with al blessings from me to you
my last tear for u have shed..
may that be our one last kiss..