Melody of my Life..

for those who have been ard me recently should have know that i'm currently goin through a "i-am-lost-" process now.. firstly, bf n me has ended our 6months-to-be r/s.. why? cos i'm stil playful.. i couldnt settle my heart and be a "good gf" that doesn't club, drink, game as much.. he didnt let me down.. i did.. guilt was all along within me since the beginning of the r/s.. everything seems stable and fine til i realise, maybe we weren't meant for one another.. we had very different backgrounds, very different circle of frens, very different lifestyle, different likings etc.. i know this is no excuse for the breakup as ppl always says "opposite attracts".. correct.. but not when it's TOO opposite ya? we've been trying to compromise to one another and trying reali hard to live in each other's world.. he tried reali hard i will say.. i wont deny, he's the perfect bf everyone dreams to have.. ok at least near perfect? but i couldnt give him my all.. i couldnt love him the way he needed.. the problem lies with me, not him.. ahh~ and there's lotsa ppl asking him to break with me.. including my best sister.. HA~ honestly, i'm very disappointed already.. ya i noe i'm not good, asking him to leave me might be the best and right choice :) at least he'll be free to find one that reali loves him the way he needed.. one that stop biting and slapping him.. one that suits and blends in his life more.. i do not need hypocrite frens ard me.. i do not need anyone to give me watever advices that u can tink of.. everyone knows how stubborn am i and i honestly am turning a deaf ear to them.. my lil advice, save ur troubles and saliva for nothing can affect my own decision.. have been spending a rather hopeless life these few days.. getting drunk, game whole day, just basically to rot my day off.. but i was truly happy.. it's been long since i had this kinda lifestyle.. honestly i miss it.. i know this cant carry on for life but still let me enjoy it while i can ya? i just feel both of us need time and space to adjust ourselves once again.. i couldn't breathe.. i was suffocating.. and the more anyone pushes, it'll just cross the line and i might face a terrible breakdown.. for now just let me live life the way i wan ya?

freedom..
i yearn for you..