Melody of my Life..

i do not wish this post to be all about being emo or watsoever.. but in watever case, i'm gonna write something that have been lingering around in my head these few days..

bf has been complaining that i have been gaming a lil too much.. and yes indeed i know that's wat i'm doin now.. but what else can i do?? i'm stil jobless and there's nothing much to do when my bank is left with like 200bucks til i get a job.. all the gamings started with him sleeping early at nite when he had a whole day long at work and i got nothing to do when i couldnt sleep.. of cos i'll start doin something using my com.. and he said that he sleep early because i game =.=

bf complains bout me being too close with my audi cpl (which in the first place we got tgt i've told him everything bout it and it's been clarified and assured that me n him are JUST frens). and just ytd he said that he gets jealous because i doesnt show enuff love to him and yet am being extreme sweet to my cpl.. sad to say but this is true.. one thing.. online frens are just for show? to me that is.. and in real life.. how long can a honeymoon last? some can last dirt long, bring sweet and mushy.. but i cant! it's just so not me.. ok it was but no longer..

dun expect me to be sweet and sticky when it's the current me.. no longer the same as ever.. i guess one thing is cos we've been seeing each other too much and staying tgt etc, that makes each other a kind of "xi guan" to one another.. there's always sayings that if a cpl gets too close or see each other too much, the r/s goes down the slope faster and also fades fast.. i find it very true.. we'll start to not cherish one another as much and maybe some will expect more.. something u will think that it's a OF COS thing that ur opposite half gives u certain things or do something u wan..

i just guess we need some space.. if my bf couldnt accept me for who i am i dun find it a need to continue any longer.. isnt it so? love isnt about changing someone.. it's about how you accept and adapt to one another's life.. every individual is different.. especially us.. how are we gonna adapt to one another and compromise to each other's way of life and way of love? that's the solutionf or us to find out.. different ppl has different ways of showing our love.. i'm definitely not the type that hangs it at my mouth "i love u i love you"..

after 4 months(goin 5) of being tgt he said that he dun feel love.. omfg~ i cant believe this.. i'm not someone that can still be in a r/s if i stop loving that person.. if he can i got nothing to say.. and the way he takls bout my audi cpl, makes me just thinks that he no longer trust me in this r/s.. there's basically no more muture trust.. i see him typing all the sweet things with girls i too feel bad.. even thou it's just jokingly/casually.. but hello! my audi cpl is exactly the same shit! we're just frens putting up a show on the virture world.. if he cant see the same point here i got nothing else to say anymore..


space are needed..
time will tell..
bye~