thankful forever more

i'm so so so sooooo thankful to the Lord my God that my love has come back into my life!
ytd was such a happy day for me!
so happy that i can hold him once again.
so happy that i can kiss him once again.
so happy that i can just simply hug him and spent the night with him again.
and so freaking happy that i can have him in my life again!

it's 6th july.. birthday of one of the most important guy in my life.
and it was the happiest day of my life now!

hereby, i wanna wish my once forever love, a happy birthday.
thou things have ended for us, it has turned me into a woman who learned how to love and wat to cherish.
our chapter ended and my new chapter have begin.

and i wanna wish myself and my now and forever love, a happy relationship and forever lasting one.

wat's past has past, wat's important now is, we cherish one another.
i've let go of a guy whom will stayed with me no matter wat.
i've let him down alot of times.
not cherishing him and bullied him.
but now i wanna hold onto this love like i have never done before.
i wanna love like i have never love before.
i wanna be the woman behind him now and forever.
i wanna cherish this one chance that i am given.
i wanna just.. love..

thank u god, thank u my love, for giving us one chance again.
i will cherish it and give my best.

i love you
CK

熟悉却又陌生

when our hands crossed
when our eyes met
when we had our dinner tgt

all seems so familiar yet so different now..

how i yearn for time to turn back its hands..

sigh..

For you

Tonnes of tears were shed in the making of this video
But it's my way of missing you

The lyrics sings it all..
For you, My love

answer to my heart..

after seeing so many ppl come and go, after seeing so many ppl giving up on me..
u're the only person that have proven that u've never left..
each time i feel lost, messed up and hurt, the first name and face i tink of is u..
i didnt realised, that it is u that i ever needed.
it's been a yr plus since i left u, but u're stil the one that have never ever given up on me.
i've realised that afterall, u're stil the reason i cannot go into a r/s anymore..
i've been unknowingly waiting..
awaiting for u to ask me to be yours again..
but, it seems, it'll nv happen again..

曾经，我是那么的幸福。。

perhaps.. it's time i accept the fact and move on..

i miss u so..

my once forever love..

i didnt noe he can be so heartless..

thank u mr asshole.

i loved.. he didnt..

started my journey-to-recovery session with fellow ppl who cared.. was reali heart broken yet angered when i saw the scene. he can blame me all he wants.. he's no where better. come on. i'm not a idiot. i can feel too. seeing her pics at his place. not good.. seeing her pic on his fb.. not good either.. seeing him with her.. HA! bam~ it hit my limit. all these while have been blaming myself so much for watever happened.. ppl who knew told me i wasnt at fault. he's the one who didnt want to give me a status, not even a dating status. he's the one who kept hurting me by leaving and abandoning me. he's the one that made me all tired of being led on yet no status at all. sometimes, a man gotta do wat a man should do. dun leave the girl dangling if you dun love her. it hurts. it drains us off totally. when they ask "do u still love him?" my ans was "yes" i'm v firm about it. yes i'm a idiot despite being hurt so many times, being abandoned so many times.. i stil love him. dun ask me why.. perhaps i owe him in my previous life. sis ask why am i always so in-confident whenever we mention bout us. i dunno.. perhaps i always tink i'm nt good enough for him. afterall, i have always been loving him and places him on top of my priority list. have been tinking alot recently.. he never loved me. perhaps he did.. but i believe one wouldnt let go of someone if they have truly loved. and in just 5 mths, he had let go of me umpteen times.. and the scene i saw. it was fated. i swear it woke me up finally.i was al along, just a spare tyre. it's ok.. i have no guilt in this entire r/s.. i will just live my life as it is.. it's a mess to be cleared. it was a wrong move to have confessed to him. if i hadnt frm the very beginning, we would stil have been real good frens. now its all ruined. should have just keep the memories there. beautiful frenship. i'm tired.. and drained from all the emo thoughts. he left.. just let him go, iko.. it's all over..

it still hurts a hell lot..
perhaps it wil never heal..
just.. let it be..

asthma attacked after a good 20 years..
eyes swell like goldfish..
i cried too hard..

was hoping i could get drunk and concussed this entire weekend so i dun have to tink of anything. but i guess, it isnt tat easy uh? apparently, the more i wanna get drunk, the harder it is.

i've smoked more thn a pack, near 2, onli today..
i was having some wines, beers and wines..
but.. why am i stil nt drunk???

cried my hearts out while playing some worship songs.. knelt down n pray. for things to work out watever it is. sincerely asked for God's guidance and healing to come over my heart now. like RIGHT NOW!

i dun wanna wry anyone so i've been all smiley and acted happy. i'm not that strong u noe?


sudden feeling of being all alone..
sudden feeling of i'm forsaken..
sudden missing u..

p/s: all these breaks my heart. u mentioned that i can lay down my strong front infront of u. but now? sigh..